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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  November 25, 2016 12:05am-1:08am EST

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tun beveg! paris: sorry? either the universal translator's off-line or i hit my head harder than i thought. ruck. all right. take it easy. take it easy. fitah! this? listen, i really need this. fitah! ud neetot.
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( sighs )
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( grunting ) of the starship voyager. tuvok. tuvok. yes. and you? noss.
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we'll go to my vessel. i see you've already been there. mayday, mayday. paris to voyager. respond. aw, come on. her name is noss. she was attacked by two humanoid males. you sure she didn't attack them? they were attempting to rob her. seems to be a local pastime.
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but somebody stole our med-kits. food. what's the status of the shuttle? fractures throughout the hull environmental systems down impulse engines are beyond repair. told you we should have brought the delta flyer. communications appear to be functional. won't do us any good. every time i transmit a signal it gets bounced back by the distortion field that pulled us down here. looks like we fell into some kind of gravity well. as far as i can tell this planet is a part of an entire solar system that is stuck in a pocket of subspace. fascinating. yeah. scientific interest aside
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tuvok: no doubt voyager has begun a rescue effort. the doctor? his mobile emitter was damaged in the crash. with luck, i might be able to repair it and bring him back on-line. tuvok: make it your top priority. gren, gren. what is it? 13 humanoids approaching... the same species that attacked her. gather as many supplies as you can carry. we're leaving. you think it's smart to abandon the shuttle? noss appears to have survived here for some time. it's logical to assume nemmok. eilen. eilen.
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eid kahn. doesn't look like this bird's going to fly, either. minimal power and life-support but the ship is protected by a force field. that explains how she's been able to survive here. anything resembling an engine?
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ters away. it's of the same configuration as this vessel. great. we have two unusable ships, and the only way voyager is going to detect our distress call is if they crash-land right on top of us. progress? electronic relays took heavy damage. i'm bypassing the primary circuits. come on, doc. i know you're in there. an accurate assumption. rev din ud? ud rev? tun sang. ton rev ud tim seid. you speak her language? the universal translator was written into my program. ask her how long she's been here if she knows a way to get back through that sinkhole.
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lurka heen. zin ik lurka ud ruck totta. mah'ees bin ruck ayah. what'd she say? she said she's been here 14 seasons and in that time, she's seen many ships come down
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come back, you little bloodsucker. ( laughing ) i don't know what's worse-- catching them or eating them. no poison. they may not be poisonous but they give me the creeps. maybe i should have left the hunting to you and tuvok. let me. ( yells ) looks delicious. shut down my program? why? our resources are severely limited. we may need your mobile emitter
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i'm a doctor, not a battery. until we are rescued or you are needed for an emergency i must insist that you remain off-line. make way for the mighty hunters. if mr. paris' hunting ability is any indication maybe we should take him off-line. thanks for the vote of confidence, doc. the hunt was good. impressive. voyager has 15 decks a crew of 152 warp and impulse engines. i want to see. someday, perhaps. tell me about you there. i am the chief tactical officer. what else? can you be more specific? your duties, uh... where you sleep? what you eat? music?
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because it is you. when i first met her she wouldn't even look at me but she warmed up after, oh... three years. the longest flirtation in starfleet history. ( chuckling ): no kidding. she sounds... fascinating. i just hope i see her again. you must really... bot yah jouton. love her very much. yeah. more spiders? oh, no, thank you. three's my limit. i will assist you.
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good night, doc. she likes you. she has been alone for many years. she appreciates our company. e likes you. what are you implying? oh, come on, tuvok. you may be cold, but you're not blind. need i remind you that i am married? your wife is 50,000 light-years away in a different layer of space. the chances of you ever seeing her again are practically nonexistent.
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what are you doing? i'm recalibrating the distress beacon. listen, um... what i said in there about your wife-- i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt your feelings. i have no feelings for you to hurt. i think you do. you work hard to bury them but they're there. and even if they're not this is home now. you might as well accept it and try to find as much happiness as you can. listen, you have a chance to make a decent life for yourself here. there is still a possibility that voyager will rescue us.
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if i didn't know you better i'd say you were trying to cheer me up, tuvok. is there a point to your pessimism? it's not pessimism. it's practicality. you of all people should understand that. look, i've never met your wife but if she's half a logical as you are i bet you she'd tell you the same thing. your attempt to play matchmaker is misguided. i am not experiencing pon farr. what difference does it make? you obviously care about noss. if you won't admit it to me at least admit it to yourself. i respect her ability to survive. it's more than that. i've seen the way you look at her. what way is that?
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i'm sorry i was born vulcan. b'elak paar. self-pity. are you cataloging my emotions? what is the source of your self-pity? isn't it obvious? if i weren't vulcan, i wouldn't be here now going through this pointless ritual. you see only what is in front of you. you must learn to see behind you. another riddle. i have no eyes to see behind me. you have the eyes of memory and why you have lost control. tell me your story. my father's already explained it. i wish to hear it from you. her name is jara. her father's a terrelian diplomat. she's been granted a seat at my school.
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yes. you love her. yes. does she love you? no. she's... jara... doesn't return my feelings. what if i were to say that i received a letter from your father telling me that jara is in love with one of your fellow students? that's a lie who is it? jealousy? i'll challenge him. that would be illogical because i have received no such letter. you're trying to trick me. no. i'm trying to help you to understand. shon-ha'lock-- love-- is the most dangerous emotion of all. it produces many other emotions--
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you must learn to suppress them all. otherwise, they will consume you. i can sense emotions building inside you like a gathering storm.
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captain's log, supplemental: it's been over an hour since the shuttle disappeared from sensors.
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tle was tractored or transported somewhere. scan the region. look for plasma emissions or e.m. displacements-- anything that might indicate another ship. nothing out of the ordinary-- hydrogen, helium, space dust. there has to be something out there. shuttles don't just vanish into thin air. it's a gravimetric shear. source? unknown. red alert. helm, full ahead. it's pulling us in. the gravimetric shear's increasing. go to warp. i can't establish a stable field. then we need more power to the impulse engines. that won't be enough. we've got to find a way to counter the gravitational pull. vent three million isodynes of plasma from the nacelles. chakotay, reverse shield polarity. ( sighing ) we're clear.
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secure all stations. i'd say we have a pretty good idea what happened to that shuttle. the anomaly is approximately 600 meters in diameter. it's out of phase with normal space. even after recalibrating the sensors it barely registers. seven: the distortion circumscribes a subspace zone that includes a type-g sun and three planets. any sign of the shuttle? no. it's say it's time to break out the multi-spatial probe. what the hell is that? a vessel approaching off the port bow. they've locked on a tractor beam. kim: captain to the bridge. i'm only going to say thins one more time. disengage your tractor beam, sir. you were in danger of being pulled into the distortion. you should show a little gratitude.
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supervisor yost, renovation team nova. captain janeway of the starship voyager. until tomorrow, i suggest you stay at least two million kilometers from the distortion. what happens tomorrow? the rift will be closed by then. some of our crew are trapped inside. i am sorry. we have lost 11 ships to the distortion it must be sealed. what about your people? even if there were survivors, there's no way to rescue them. the best we can do is to prevent others from being trapped. we can't abandon our crew. if you could delay your mission... my orders are to seal the rift by this time tomorrow. if you want to attempt a rescue between now and then
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launch the probe. aye. work with b'elanna and seven to enhance the sensors. do whatever you can to find tom and tuvok. i'll be looking for a way to counter those gravitational forces. ( door beeping ) come in. i've been brushing up on sinkholes, quantum singularities. any luck? all the data leads me to the same conclusion. they're mono-directional phenomena-- what goes in doesn't come out. something's coming out of that anomaly. what is it? telemetry from our probe. we've located the shuttle's distress beacon on a class-d planet. vulcan, human, alien life signs. at least we know they're alive. keep reading. there's astronomical data here covering a three-month period. how is that possible? there seems to be some sort of temporal differential.
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but every hour that passes for us could mean weeks, even months for tom and tuvok. months trying to survive in a class-d environment? and more than likely, they've assumed that we left them behind long ago. ready for the bad news? you're kidding. the gravitational stress is increasing. seven believes the sinkhole is on the verge of collapse.
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( door opening )
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medical tricorder. we were ambushed. give me 20 milligrams of inaprovaline. they got away with a pair of resonator coils. three fractured ribs subdural hematoma, internal bleeding. will he live? vulcans are very resilient. he'll be fine. how long has it been since i was last activated? almost two months. two months?! so... what's new? oh, same old thing-- fighting off scavengers, hunting spiders... no word from voyager? they're probably 300 light-years closer to home by now. i think i should remain on-line until mr. tuvok is fully recovered.
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( groaning ) rest. how long was i unconscious? too many hours. mr. paris? he'll be fine. ( sighs ) i was afraid. it is good to see your eyes. don't. i only want... to show you how i feel.
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i told you i don't experience emotion. i have developed an appreciation and respect for you-- nothing more. nothing? i am sorry. i cannot return your affection. you cannot or you will not? a minor distinction. logic! i hate logic! your emotions will only exacerbate the situation. shevrot kass! insulting me will not help.
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we can use the multi-spatial probe as a transporter relay. it'll take a little time to reconfigure the targeting scanners but, with a little luck, it should work. any reason we can't use the same relay to send a com signal? i don't see why not. good. let them know that help is on the way. kim: captain to the bridge. they've started ahead of schedule. hail them. yost: yes? it was my understanding you wouldn't begin for another six hours. we're ready now. well, we're not. we need at least another two hours to make a rescue attempt. i'm sorry. how long until they seal the rift? approximately 30 minutes. then that's all we've got. ( panting )
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i am meditating, mr. paris. i don't care. i trust there is an urgent reason for your lack of courtesy. you're damn right there is. what did you say to her? our conversation was private. well, whatever you said she's talking about leaving going off by herself because it's too painful to be around you. she is under the influence of unfettered emotions. well, maybe you're able of us don't have that luxury. she is a living, breathing woman who for reasons that i can't begin to fathom has fallen in love with you. now, if you're incapable of returning her feelings at least show her some compassion. try to let her down easy. there is no easy way to recover from infatuation. oh, really? and what do you know about infatuation?
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i have no intention of continuing this conversation any further. no, no. come on, tuvok. come on! it's just you, me and the rocks. when i was a young man, i experienced an emotional attraction toward a woman. it nearly destroyed me. no. her name was jara, a terrelian female. i would have violated every tenet of vulcan philosophy simply to be near her. she must have really been something. i lost all sense of who i was. the emotional attraction i felt for her
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when they fall in love... but it's worth the risk. for you, perhaps but i am vulcan. my natural emotions are erratic, volatile. if i don't control them, they will control me. whatever happened to jara? i chose to leave her. olation studying with a vulcan master. i learned to suppress my emotions. too bad. gravimetric distortions. what's causing them?
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no response to our hails, captain. at this rate, their anti-graviton beam will seal the distortion in approximately 29 minutes. transporter status? i've completed the reconfiguration but we'll only be able to relay one transporter beam through the probe. we'll have to get tom and tuvok within a two-meter radius of their distress beacon. harry? i've opened a channel. voyager to away team. ( low sustained tone ) what is it? the distress beacon. we're receiving a transmission. can you route it through your com system? if i'm right, this message was sent almost nine hours ago in a very slow carrier wave. can you speed it up? i'll try.
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( normal ): away team. a transporter beam with a radius of two meters will activate at the coordinates of your distress beacon in exactly 30 minutes. doctor: "30 minutes"? that would have been over eight hours ago. shh. there's more. be advised we've detected a temporal difference between our two positions. according to our calculations, the differential ratio is .4744 seconds per minute. beam with... according to that formula, 30 minutes would translate to two days, 11 hours and 47 seconds. well, we've waited this long.
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the force field is holding. not for long if they keep pelting us with these photon grenades. how are we supposed to hold them off for two more days? the rift will be sealed in less than two minutes. move us into range.
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yes, ma'am. the force field is losing power. time? we still have another hour before transport. where are you going? to repair the field generator. no. i will accompany you. you stay. prepare for the attack. you can't go alone. risking two lives... would be illogical. we're in transporter range. torres: stand by. i've got a lock on their beacon. they're supposed to be ready for transport in 32 seconds. let's hope they don't stand us up. begin 20-second countdown on my mark. now. we've got less than ten minutes to transport. where the hell is noss?!
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15 seconds. 14... 13... ( grunting ) ( grunts ) tuvok... i could not leave you behind. nine... eight... seven... now, mr. paris! paris: hurry. four...
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two... initialize transport sequence. energize. we've got them. kim: welcome back. who...? a friend. commander tuvok, personal log, stardate 52438.9. we are en route to noss' homeworld. as i prepare to say good-bye, i find myself experiencing a certain discomfort. tuvok. weird day. problems? i've spent the last two months wondering if i'd ever see b'elanna again. as far as she's concerned it's only been two days.
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rential i'm sure she would have experienced a deep sense of loss. you know something? i always thought that beneath that cold vulcan exterior lay a even colder vulcan interior but now, i'm convinced you're a hopeless romantic. there is no need to insult me, mr. paris. neelix: oh, here they are now. i was just getting noss' recipe for sauteed spiders. let's just say it's an acquired taste. bye, tom. ( sighs ) thank you. come on, neelix. oh. of course.
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i'm sorry. for what? i know how difficult this was for you... for us. i just wish things had been different. as do i. ( sighs )
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live long and prosper, noss.
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vulcan master: infinite diversity... in infinite combinations. your training is now complete. have done well. thank you. you are now prepared to return to the world. grief, anger, fear and especially love will never threaten you again.
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[captioning sponsored by paramount television and united paramount network
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morning, everyone. morning, sir. morning, sir. what have we got today? we've detected several phenomenon. a j'ral-class supernova remnant approximately three light-years off our course. that's interesting. what else? a cluster of three neutron stars... very unusual. trip: how about that? three stone-cold stars. pretty exciting, huh? anything else? trip: there is... one other thing might be worth swinging by to take a look. a minshara class planet...
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on. ( chuckling ) if our scans are right it looks like there's a whole civilization down there. ( group laughter ) you might have put that on the top of the list. ? it's been a long road ? getting from there to here ? it's been a long time ? but my time is finally near ? and i will see my dream come alive at last ? ? i will touch the sky ? and they're not gonna hold me down no more ? ? no, they're not gonna change my mind ? ? 'cause i've got faith of the heart ?
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? i can do anything ? i've got strength of the soul ? ? no one's gonna bend or break me ? ? i can reach any star ? i've got faith ? i've got, i've got ? ? i've got faith [captioning sponsored by paramount television
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put us into orbit at 500 kilometers. i'm not picking up any other ships or satellites. should we hail them? who? i'm picking up dozens of cities on each continent. let's hold off a second. we don't know whether they're using the latter's more likely. i'm not detecting any em transmissions. pre-industrial? let's take a closer look. do you see that? just off the coast. i've got it. looks like an old clipper ship. yeah, it's almost like traveling back in time.
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o wait until a society develops warp drive before initiating first contact. those are vulcan protocols, not human. starfleet would be wise to adopt them. there's no way to know how our arrival would affect the evolution of their society. so, what are you suggesting we do? our sensors can gather a great deal of data from orbit. give me a tighter view of the city hoshi. u get tight enough to see their faces? archer: freeze that. they don't look so different. what do you think, trip? i think you're right, captain. you'd be recognized immediately as outsiders.
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to make maps and take pictures, but they didn't. they sent us... so that we could explore... with our own senses. ( chuckling ) you okay? the acoustic relay is picking up dozens of languages. i could spend the next 10 years studying this place. well, let's hear some of it. ( alien conversations ) it'll take a while to work out a translation matrix for all of them.
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ce we pick a landing site. i did find one word you might want to remember-- "akaali." it's the name of their species. archer: a farm? it's remote and sparsely populated. if you're exposed there's a reduced risk of cultural contamination. this must be why aliens are always landing in cornfields. so... who do we send first? it should stand up to scrutiny. here. see for yourself. it itches. uh-uh-uh! you musn't touch it, ensign. the irritation will subside. are you sure i'm the right person for this? if the translator goes down you'll be able to handle yourself better than any of us. the anterior crests aren't quite symmetrical. i'll just add a little more definition to the right side... we don't need it to be too perfect.
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rcher. go ahead. please report to the bridge. is there a problem? i'm detecting neutrino emissions from the city on the eastern continent. what's causing it? possibly an anti-matter reactor. these people don't even have indoor plumbing. maybe some of them are more advanced than others. or maybe we're not the first visitors. what about non-indigenous bio-signs? i'm not reading any, but at this range it's hard to be certain. ( sighs ) trip? t'pol, let's head down to sick bay. let the quartermaster know
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in my own boots. ( laughs ) what's this? identification papers-- everyone in the city has to carry them.


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