tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC December 2, 2016 12:05am-1:09am EST
computer: end round three. that wasast so bad. it was terrible. am i missing something? he barely landed a glove on me. mm-hmm. give him time. you're not reading him. you think he's slow and stupid. i know better. in fact, i know his kind in my bones. literally. i can count the fractures, if you'd like. he's not landing any punches. blbl. you're not letting him. have i got this sport all wrong? than dishing them out. you shouldn't be dancing away from this fella. let him punch himself out a little. it all comes down to the heart. do you have the heart for this? that's the contest-- it's not against him. . that's the real fight.
how many? three. good guess. i've got a good mind to use a needle and thread add a little authenticity to your fun. be my guest. you'd like that-- a manly scar above your eye. "chakotay-- the maquis mauler." pointless violence. that program shohodn't even be in our database. i was there when pryce-jones went 2 2rounds with gul tulet. "the knockout in the neutral zone." best match i ever saw. really? or did pryceceones drive gul tulet's nasal bone up into his brain? ( chuckling ) you've got the wrong idea. the idea is simple enough. do enough damage to your opponent to render him unconscious. how's the headache?
hairline fracture of the septum... i saw something strange. i'll bet you did. no. before i got hit. what do you mean? i looked over at boothby... he yelled at me... i turned back... then the ring got distorted. an hallucination. you probably had some pressure building up no. i was keeping away from him the whole fight. he never touched me. hmm. a number of the ganglia in your visual cortex are hyperactive. your opponent wasn't firing on you his glove with an energy weapon, was he? s. janeway: red alert! chakotay to the bridge. on m mway. i want you back in here for some tests... unless you want to be seeing things
it's changed course again-- 20,000 kilometers off starboard. ion storm? not exactly. it's two light years across emits enough energy for a dozen stars and it won't sit still. okay. 11,000 kilometers off the port bow. we are too close. i'm backing us off. nothing so massive could move that fast. full reverse. maximum shields.
anybody want to tell me where we are? we appear totoe inside the disturbance. i'm picking up a lot of raw data-- subspace flux, graviton waves. sensors must be confused. the readings are shifting arouou so much i can't make heads or tails of what's out there. captain, this is seven of nine. please report to astrometrics at once. seven: the borg have been aware of this phenomenon for many years. it's a zone where the laws of physics are in a state of flux-- "chaotic space." why didn't sensors warn us in t te? chaotic space appears randomly and unexpectedly. the borg have observed it throughout the galaxy. then why hasn't a federation starship encocotered anything like this? no doubt some have. think of all the starfleet vessels that disappeared under mysterious circumstances. borg vessels are more advanced but only one cube has survivived an encounter with chaotic space.
l constants are shifting our sensors can't function. the problem is here. changes in the gravitational coefficient only for a tim will cause sudden shear forces against our hull. e. how much time? unknown. we've got t recalibrate the sensors-- redesign them if necessary. otherwise, we're flying blind. let's get to work. ( faint bell dinging ) computer: begin round one. computer, did you say something?
( distant cheers ) ( cheering gets louder ) boothby: pick 'em up, son. it's the fight you've been waiting for. ( distant bell dinging ) computer: begin round one. tuvok: bridge to commander chakotay. go ahead, tuvok. please report to the bridge. graviton wave displacement says we're moving at warp six... subspace sensors show we're standing still. we can't be that far from where we entered. maybe we should just set a course go to impulse and see what happens. what would most likely happen is a collision with an asteroid field or a star.
report. kim: torsional shear has increased by 200 percent. shields? tuvok: holding. like i was saying better than just sitting here waiting for our hull to breach. tutuk: perhaps we could drop a series of beacons to help us navigate. paris: now that's an idea. did you hear something? i heard nothing unusual. paris: i didn't hear anything. computer: begin round one. paris: i'll plot a course and we'll take it slow. what do you think, chakotay? announcer: the challenger... chakotay! don't you hear that? hear what? look. commander? are you all right? boothby: put on the gloves, son. i'm not ready. commander.
( doctor sings note ) very good. ( sings higher note ) mm-hmm. let's go to 880 hertz. music lessons? chakotay: pretty soon we'll be singing duets. i'm checking to see if there's been any damage to the auditory nerves-- nothing so far. his vision checks out as well. i'm afraid the source of the trouble may be a little... deeper. the family curse. what do you mean?
a cognitive disorder-- sensory tremens. the primary symptoms are visual and auditory hallucinationons. my family doctor suppressed the gene before i was even born so i never had to go through what the others did-- like my y andfather. for some reason, the gene's been switched on. i'm not certain that's why chakotay thought he was getting ready for a prizefight but it's a good bet; the holodeck boxing simulation was fresh in his memory. a few misfiring neurons did the rest. this chaotic space we've entered-- e gene? possibly. the only way to make certain would be to get the ship out of here. in the meantime, the commander will have to stay in sick bay. tuvok tells me you'veveot a mean left jab. ( chuckling ) nevevespar with a vulcan. how are you doing? ( sighs )
my grandfafaer started seeing things nobody else could see... hearing what nobody else could hear. he refused treatment. a couple of hyposprays a day, that's all he would have needed. but he was stubborn. he said his spirit was in pain... but that the wound... must be honored. ( chuckles ) crazy old man. ready, captain. janeway to seven. bring the grid back on-line. stand by. kim: we've got sensors. i'm scanning to 100,000 kilometers... 700,000. sensors are stable to one million kilometers. we won't be able to scan further.
id fields, sinkholes. good enough for me. set a course dead ahead one quarter impulse. sensor status? continuing to function. still nothing ahead. good. let's increase our speed. mr. paris, go to half impulse. wait. it's a ship. warp capable. it's adrift, and the outer hull is damaged. no life-signs. let's take a closer look. computer, let's see that again. man: why won't you answer? can't you see i'm... having a few problems? did you give up on me for being so late? not my fault. we got lost in here. why do the stars make such a noise? let me sleep. stars should keep quiet. thth try to talk to me. i don't understand them. i don't want to talk to them.
according to the vessel's medical records the captain and one of his engineers started hallucinating after they entered this space. the physician on board never found a way to treat them. how long were they stranded here? almost a year. eventually, their systems were compromised. they d dd of exposure. kim: the sensors on that ship are more advanced than ours and they couldn't find a way out. let's hold our position till we've got a better idea of what we're up against. it loooo like that's what they did. started sounding just like chakotay. i can't believe that's a coincidence. why hasn't anyone else been affected? that's a question i can't answer. not yet. request permission to beam their captain's body on board. i'd like to perform an autopsy. granted. pull the sensor technology off that ship. use it to enhance ours. we're going to need all the help we can get. i made a deep scan
the optic and auditory neurons have been partially stripped of their normal protein insulation. the result-- auditory and visual hallucinations. the same symptoms as chakotay but a different cause. exactly. in this case the gene responsible for producing protein insulation was shututown. there might be something in chaotic space that reacts with d d-- alters it. but why it targeted him specifically and now you i can't say. i can control the hallucinations using a neural suppressant, but, unless i can find a way to deactivate that gene of yours... i need to go on a vision quest. captain? that's not the best idea right now. a vision quest taps directly into your frontal cortex. it could agitate your mind. or help me control it. permission granted. very well.
it will help me keep track of your vital signs. ah-koo-chee-moya. i am far from the sacred places of my grandfathers. i am far from the bones of my people but perhaps there is a powerful being who will embrace me and give me the answers i seek. grandfather, what are you doing herer i, uh... seem to be... lolo. just a little lost. you didn't take your medicine this morning. whicicmedicine are you talking about? there are many medicines.
oh, that one. where are you going? my spirit doesn't want that medicine. i don't care what your spirit wants. you're going to take it. i don't think so. come with me back to the house. now why would i want to do that? it's better where i'm going. it... it's more interesting. where are you going? to the place where my spirit lives. grandfather! where are you?
begin round one. the aliens. they were there, watching me. inside your vision quest? ying to tell me something. what was it? i don't know. are they with you now? can you hear them? yes. let them speak to you. no! they'll make me g gcrazy. you're not going crazy. they're doing this for a reason. you've gototo trust them. stop fighting. open your mind. let go. listen.
at the 18th dimensional gradient. yager entered through... a trimetric fracture. trimetric fracture? we must escape, or we'll l destroyed. how do we escape? we've got to alter our warp field. in what way? rentrillic trajectory. rentrillic? it doesn't make any sense. i'm scared i'm losing my mind! try to focus. it's too much! i can't! it's too much! chakotay!
hi mom... just checking back to see how you're doing. i'll be alright. but it was a shock. i never saw it coming. i know. i can't believe they would let you go, after 20 years. sink in. i realize i've got decisions to make. like how to replace the life insurance i had through work. life insurance? i'd think you'd have other priorities. my priority is making sure you don't get stucucwith a lot expenses if something happens to me. mom, there's no reason to think anything is going to happen. a couple of days ago, there was no reason to think i'd lose my job. no one likes to thinkkaboo be ready for it. you're right.
ly, i found a massmutual policy that's affordable let me show you... if you're age 50 to 75, there's an easy, affordable way to get life i iurance. it's called guaranteed acceptance life insurance, fromomassmutual. it can help cover final expenses, such as funeral costs, medical bills, and other debts. rates can start at less than $10 a month, and you can choose how and when to make e yments. policies range from $2,000 to $25,000, it provides a lifetime of coverage. your payments are guaranteed to never increase, and your coverage never decreases. and massmutual pays the money quickly to your beneficiaries. with guaranteed acceptance life insurance, there are never any medical exams or health questions. you cannot be e rned down. and, it's from massmutual, a company that's been putting policy owners first for more than 160 years. with financial strength ratings among the highest
first contact? . rentrillic trajectory. unfortunately, they never got around to explaining what that meant. could be some sort of alien geometry fe for him to try to make contact again? medically speaking, yes. the problem is convincing the commander of that. i realale you're frightened... but you're our only hope out of this place. you think this could risk your sanity? but your sanity won't do you any good
i need you to keep trying, chakotay. wiwi you keep trying? keep me posted. are you ready to continue? try to focus on the alien voices. tell me what they're saying. i can't hear them. are you sure? listen carefully. maybe we can return you to a more receptive frame of mind. think back to when you first heard them in the vision quest. where were you? their boxing ring.
was anyone else there? yes. my opponent... kid chaos. describe him. tuvok... move into position. thompson and sharr, target the midsection. ensign macalister you and i will aim for the head. sers to kill. not exactly the marquis of queensberry rules, now, is it? "set to kill"? that's not even starfleet. put down the weapons, son. tactical advice from an academy groundskeeper? we fire at your command, sir. give that order and you'll be out for the count-- the whole lot of you. lower your weapons. commander...
om vegas mars and orion three. the odds are running 33:1 that he'll outpoint you 11:1 that you'll be kayoed by the fifth. subspace radio is calling it "the disaster in the delta." there's still time to scratch the card. i'll call the doctor; we'll get you out on a medical. boothby: he's trying to hornswoggle us. double-check those calculations. let me see that padd. no. fine. don't want to trust your friends? you're on your own. neelix: i'm filing a grievance with the delta quadrant boxing commission! this bout came out of nowhere! there's some scheduling mix-up. you haven't had time to train; you're not ready! if you fight now you'll be destroyed! i can't fight now. i'm not ready for this. come on!
i follow your example, learn from you look up to you. i don't want to lose that. you'll find another role model. you'll be okay. you're my first officer. your duty is to this crew. if something happens to me you've got to get voyager home. tuvok can take command. you're being selfish, chakotay. i'm doing this for you... for all of you! a delusion-- dementia puglistica. you're punch-drunk, commander. a hard shot to the head and neck collapses the carotid artery and cuts the flow of blood to the brain. rebral tissu the hook! the head and neck twist laterally
the head snaps back, rupturing tissue in the cerebellum and upper spinal cord! yes! ( sighs ) and the result... of all this poetry i imotion? neuralgic dysfunction chronic traumatic encephalopathy loss of balance and coordination loss of memory. starting to sound... familiar? neelix: chakotay's fine. he just needs a little conditioning, that's all. he needs to listen to his doctor and not to his fantasies. step into that arena and you'll become what you most fear. what a a you talking about? oh, he knows what i mean. don't you, chakotay? hmm? what's wrong? victory... defeat, knockout t.k.o.... it's all beside the point.
"a crazy old man..." hmm? ( chuckling ) it's your fate, your destiny. there's no escape. you just got to do your best. you can't let yourself get into your fears. i'm not afraid. neelix: who said you were? ( panting ) i'm sorry! please come back. they got away. grandfather. where did you go? some people were shouting at me. they were going for a walk
oh... it's hard to follow them. oh, god, they go to strangegelaces. i'm supposed to be watching you. we're going to get in trouble if we don't go back home. be a good boy and go. we understand. you have to come with me. they say you can come with us. there's nobody else here. ike we are. i'm not! i'm not like you. it's not so bad. when you get used to it, they're not so bad. they're just a lot of talk. sometimes i wish they were more quiet.
they almost scrubbed the bout. i'm afraid. i know you are. you'd be a liar if you said anything else. but i've always been afraid. i know that, too. the champion: kid chaos. that's it! all over! the fight's been canceled on medical grounds! ( chuckling ) put 'em down. let's go. at theherena next door! have fun! he's coming out of it. you stopped the fight. you were stuck in the vision quest. i've got to go back. you're going nowhere but sick bay. let me go. calm down. it's over for you. let me get in the ring! chakotay...
intain course and heading, mr. paris. kim: sensors are functioning. our course is still clear. captain, i recommend we go to three quarters impulse. increasing power to the engines could affect chaotic space. there are too many unknowns. at this speed, we should see daylight in about two months. the longer we're in chaotic space, the longer we're exposed to these unknowns. his logic is undeniable, captain. we should increase our speed. finally. gic? take a look at this. it's the first beacon we launched o. we've been going in circles? to be precise, one largrgcircle. hold our position. all stop. report.
there is a pattern. order to chaos? observe. an isolinear frequency. some kind of signal? we haven't located the source. it may be natural-- a star or quasar that has managed to survive in chaotic space. but it could be a transmission. possibly. have you tried the standard language decryptions? all of them with no success. supply lately. impossible. captain? and to think... that kept me from getting an "a." it was the only question i i ssed in exo-genetics my senior year. the nucleotide resonance frequency. that signal wawadesigned to activate dna.
me? they're the ones who scheduled the fight. they're promoting it. they're putting up the purse. his sensory cortex is hyperactive. he's still hallucinating. it's not an hallucination not a vision quest-- it's a prizefight! mr. chakotay, do you know me? do you know where you are? i know you, captain but you stopped the fight. you ruined my career! nobody will put me on the card after this! it's better for you to rest until we can figure out why this is happening. they want to contact me. who does? the people who live here. him. wait a minute. you believe somebody lives here, in chaotic space? and they're trying to communicate with you? yes! i saw him! tell me about him. what does he look like? he's got a couple of kilos on me a few centimeters in height but i can take him, captain! i just have to s sy off the ropes. the holodeck boxing simulation is still strong in his memory. obviously, it's the primary source of imagery for his hallucinationsns.
aliens who exist on some perceptual wavelength that our senses can't detect and the only way for them to communicate chakotay's bad gene gave them the opportunity. what are you proposing? remember the derelict ship? two of their crewmembers claimed they were seeing things. was somebody trying to communicate with them? was somebody trying to warn them, help them? or trying to destroy them just as they're trying to destroy us. why go through all the trouble? we're trapped here anyway. let me back in the ring! even if this is some kind of alien communication it could harm him permanently. tuvok: bridge to captain janeway. go ahead, tuvok. graviton shear has increased again. hull pressure is rising. i'm on my way. captain...
report! some kind of spatial sinkhole full thrusters! status? we managed to sidestep that one but graviton shear has increased by another 310%. janeway to sickbay. it's now or never. understood, captain. i've got to get in there. they're about to ring the bell. i'm going to subject you to a field that will enhance the nucleotide bonds. the gene should become fully activated. do you understand?
of here. i'll try. boothby: good idea. keep him waiting. let him sweat it out. announcer: in this corner, representing the alpha quadrant, earth and humanity the challenger, chakotay! ( cheering ) everybody loves an underdog. announcer: in this corner champion of the delta quadrant kid chaos! ( cheering ) looks like he's got a lot of upper-body strength-- a real puncher. just keep your elbow low when you throw the right and don't come in too straight; you'll be okay. what's the scouting report? we don't know this guy.
self. that's all you've got to remember and don't raise the elbow. computer: begin round one. boothby, where are you? still here, son. i'm not going anywhere. you... are... far from where... you call home. you... are... lost. do you understand? ( grunts ): yes. we are far from home. we are lost. our... home... is here. ( grunting ) our... home... is here... ( grunting ) ...in chaotic space?
ur head! i understand! we are too... alien... for you. we are too... strange... for you. maybe we're the ones who are too alien... too strange. if... you... stay... in chaotic space... chaotic space... chaotic space... you'lllle destroyed! we know that... but we can't navigate. our sensors don't work... in your spspe. 20 more seconds! don't go down! your.... sensors must be... realigned... your mind... must be... realigned... realigned... realigned. your mind... must be... computer: end round one. get them out! let go, commananr! i can't take anymore punches! they aren't hitting you. duck... faint... clinch! stop fighting! i can't! they'll destroy me! that's a risk you'll have to take. you take the risk! they want you. why? because you have the gene. the crazy gene. yes, the crazy gene.
thing keeping you from understanding them is your own fear-- your fear of the unknown the unknown... and i don't want to know. but we have to know allow yourself to hear them for just a few moments. do it for us. what will l ppen to me... when they're done? you'll be on voyager... surroundededy friends. i can't understand them. you will. they're talking too fast, too many words. try to focus on one word at a time. they won't hurt you! no one will hurt youou! 18th gradient, trimetric fracture. keep going. we have to modify our deflector. we have to induce a paralateral rentrillic trajectory. how do we do that? i think i understand. it's making sense. where are you going? i can make the adjustments myself. i have to get to the bridge. i don't know how much longer i can keep it in my mind!
pened? he's got a right uppercut almost knocked me out. move over, harar. hang on, ensign. they showed me how to get out. he's hallucinating. out of the way! tell us what to do. i can't! it's too difficult. i'm locking him out. no! give up p ur post. tuvok: he's recalibrating the deflector dish and routing it through the sensor array. it must be altered. captain,n,he graviton shear is increasing. i'm reading microfractures on the hull. stay and we'll be destroyed. activate the deflector-- maximum amplitude. bring seseors on-line. captain... do it. i don't know how but the sensors haveveound us a course. maximum impulse... now! captain, if that courur is wrong we could breech our hull.
computer, run chakotay training program 15-beta. ahahcome for a little more punishment? i thought i'd spar for a few rounds. ast bout? did you talk to the doc? i've got a clean bill of health. that's good enough for me. okay. i've been watching him fight. he falls in too much when he clinches and he moves more to his right than he does to his left. well, i'll double up on the left jabs and see what happens. you sure you're ready for this? i'i'ready. ( bell dings )
soval: the loss to the vulcan people is incalculable. p'jem was one of our most revered sanctuaries. ambassador... we are very sorry for your loss. but with all due respect the high command has to take some responsisility. we were observing a dangerous and aggressive neighbor. the andorians wouldn't have found the station if your people hadn't interfered. they'v'vbeen in space for six months and they've already destabilized an entire sector! i'm afraid i can't agree with that, ambassador. this was a volatile situation long before starfleet got involved. perhaps if you'd been a little more open with us
en. he's too impulsive. captain gardner would have made a far more suitable commanding officer. the vulcan consulate doesn't make command assignments here. there was a time when your people sought our guidance. i regret that time has passed. i've been recalled to vulcan on. in the meantime, our joint fleet operations have been suspended. male (over com): yes, admiral? get me captain archer. ? it's been a long road
? but my time is finally near ? and i will see my dream come alive at last ? ? i will touch the sky ? and they're not gonna hold me down no more ? ? no, they're not gonna change my mind ? ? 'cause i've got faith of the heart ? ? i'm going where my heart will take me ? ? i've got faith to believe ? i can do anything ? i've got strength of the souou? ?o one's gonna bend or break me ? ? i can reach any star ? i've got faith ?i've got, i've got?
llion humanoids. apparently, the vulcans have a mining agreement with them. i had hoshi send a message to their chancellor and she invited us to visit their capital city. then i'll start shining my boots. i think i'll just take hoshi this time. the chancellor asked me to limit the number of people i bring down until they get to know us better. oh. it's really too bad. he d dabase, they've got the largest starship construction yards in the sector. they're supposed to have ships that can run circles around the vulcans. better than six-five? they say... some coridan ships have reached warp seven but, nah, that's just a rumor. warp seven? you should lend hoshi your camera.
ah, you had me going there for a minute! ( chuckling): you're just too easy a target. so you're taking me, right? hoshi (over com): bridge to captain archer. go ahead. i'm receiving a transmsmsion from starfleet command. it's admiral forrest, sir. archer: was anyone killed? the andorians gave the monks three hours before they started their bombardment. fortunately, they all got out in time. how are the vulcans taking this? not well. i can't really blame the andorians for reacting this way... jon... if the roles were reversed the vulcans might have done the same thing. the vulcans may have good reason for keeping an eyeyen them. i've seen the reports. these andorian commandos are a dangerous group.
p'jem. were there any survivors? fortunately, the monks... and the intelligence operatives were given advance warning. they're fine. was there time to remove any of the relics? i don't know. the high command believes we're to blame for this. they're... ...sending a ship to take you back to vulcan. it'll be here in two days. i won't have time to complete i'll ask ensign mayweather to finish them. maybe i wasn't clear. this isn't a temporary y ansfer.
derstand the situation, captain. i'm certain the high command will find you a suitable replacement. am i the only one who has a problem with this? because you seem perfectly fine. my assignment to theenterprise was only supposed to last eight days. it was unrealistic to expect it to continue indefinitely. the high command is looking for a scapegoat-- someone to blame. they can't punish me sounds like an emotional reaction, if you ask me. i am largely responsible for what happened. don't give yourself too much credit. i was the one who found p'jem in the database and i led the landing party. i want you to know i'm filing a protest with the high command. that won't make any difference. you don't know that. captain... i was assigned toenterprisenot simply as an observer
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