[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> steve: from stio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuri the legendary roots crew. and here he i-- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal televion -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hopeou had a great day. hey, did you guys see this? last night, president obama was giving a big speech, and the presidential seal fell off his podium. they tried to put it back on, but hillary had already grabbed it and run away. [ laughter ]

she was like, "it's mine! this is mine." yep, after the presidential seal fell off, obama actually sai "that's okay, you all know who i am." [ laughter ] and then tea partiers were like, "do we though?" [ laughter ] check this out, you guys. i read that michael bolton is working on a new song about being humiated last week on "dancing with the stars." the song is called "making it worse." [ laughter ] ♪ why am i doing this i'm totally making it worse ♪ michael bolton -- might not be the tune. [ laughter ] michael bolton was great last night, though. did anyone watch "dancing with the stars"? [ cheers ] he was on last night. he was phenomenal. he actually filled in for susan boyle after she canceled her performance. she canceled itor some reason. to be honest, i didn't even know

she canceled it. i was just like, "ma susan boyle is looking really good." [ laughter ] she looks fantastic. she dyed her hair or something. hey, listen to this. amy winehouse gave her first performance in two years last night at a club in london. i hear the lines were around the block. and there were a lot of people there, too. [ laughter ] yeah, there were a lot of people there. [ cheers and applause ] this is pretty crazy. i read about a 12-year-old boy in mexico who's the youngest matador in the world. not only that, i hear he also has the worst parents in the world. [ laughter ] "yeah, go ahead. you can be that -- be matador." yesterday, president obama said he wants community colleges to produce an additional 5 million graduates by 2020. yep, people in mmunity college were like, "whoa, you want us to finish in only ten years?" [ laughter ] "that's a lot of pressure, man." [ cheers and applause ]

"all right, okay. i'll do it." this is interesting. new study found that neanderthals were actually more clever and better looking than previously thought. yeah. it's the se conclusion i reached when i watched the second season of "jersey shore." [ audiencehs ] i go "oh, they're actually -- snooki's pretty cute." i just heard that mel gibson's ex-girlfriend oksana has pulled out of a scheduled interview with oprah. yep, even mel was like, "whoa, you do not want to see oprah when she gets angry. she i-- you thought i was bad." i don't know what to make of this, here. an american man says he was stopped from getting on a flight yesterday in dubai because he is blind. but a spokesperson for that airline was like, "that's not why." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and finally, a man in oregon s his boss' car on fire because he

was about to get fired. man, if getting fired makes him set things on fire, i don't want to see what happens when he gets dumped. hey, ladies and gentlemen -- what? we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, roots. hey, we have a great show toght, everybody. from the new film "secretariat," the gorgeous and talented diane lane is here! [ cheers and applause ] i love her. from npr national public radio's popular show "wait wait... don't tell me," carl kasell and peter sagal are joining us. those guys are awesome. [ cheers and applause ] and we've got the tv debut of a great, great group called fistful of mercy. [ cheers and applause ] this band is fantastic. i heard them rehearsing today.

you've got joseph arthur. you've got dhani harrison. that's george harrison's son. it amazing how much he looks like him, and it sounds amazing. and the great ben harper, all together in one super group. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm saying. theye got a fly guitarist. and they're playing with some of the roots, right? maybe. possibility, all right. going to be awesome. if you watch our show, you know that i use twitter a lot. and a lot of times on twitter, these weird lis get started. it's like a topic with a pound sign in front it it. on twitter, they call it a hashtag. now, on last night's show, i went on twitter and started a hashtag called "my co-worker is weird." i asked you guys at home to eet out somethg about a weird co-worker that you've had. thousands of tweets came in i was looking at them all night. it was great. so tonight, i thought i would share some of my favorite "my co-worker is weird" tweets from you guys. it's time for "late night hashtags." ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ ♪ hashtags hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: this first one is from @ferdunkers. [ light laughter ]

@ferdunkers is his twitter name. he sounds weird. he says of his weird co-worker -- "his desk fas mine, and anytime i look up, he's staring at me." [ laughter ] that is creepy. that's from @garretbainnerd. he says of his weird co-worker, "he often sits in chairs backwards because he likes the feel." [ laughter ] yep, just stretching out the groin muscles. that's good, yep. sit on it normal. this is from @tacomachoalex. she says, "he likes to stand by the bathroom, and whenever someone comes out, he smacks their butt and yells, 'good job, buddy. you did it.'" [ laughter ] just trying to boost morale. "good job, buddy. you did it." that is weird. this one is from @kljackso00. he says of his co-worker, "he ate spaghetti with his cat to

recreate e scene 'lady and the tramp' to use as his christmas card photo." that is definitely weird. i want to see that, though. his one's from @twinklewonderkid. he says, "he feels the need to chitchat in the bathroom if he recognizes your shoes. i'm making snakes, homes. bail." [ laughter ] this one's from @ndoogoo. he says, "my co-worker tacks me with a broom while we're cleaning. he says it's to train me for the end of the world." that is weird. what is up? he's lik "trust me, man. zombies will be doing this one day." this one's from @benjaminphelps. he says his cworker is weird because "he watches reruns of 'the gilmore girls' on netflix his lunch break that 'recharges his batteries.'"

you gotta do what you gotta do. this one's from @erinmf. she's got a weird co-worker. she says, "she names her lunch. today she ate cory, the tuna sandwich." [ laughter ] that is weird. naming your lunch. this one is fm @cobybfox. he says, "he puts his senior picture with his phone number written on the back in the pockets of women's jeans at american apparel." [ laughter ] how could that possibly work, right? that doesn't work. anyway, last one here is from @hap337. he says of his weird co-worker, "he saw a victoria's secret ad featuring all bras 50% off. he said, 'personally, i like them 100% off.' then he high fived me." there you go. those are tonight's "late night hashtags." to check out all these tweets and more of our favorites, go to latenightwithjimmyfallon.com. we'll be right back with a brand-new game called "baby bird." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is the highest resolution phone screen ever.

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>> jim: welcome back to our program, everybody. and thank you so much for watching at home. as you know, i'm a gamer. and by gamer, i'm talking about birds. i love everything about birds. how they fly, w they communicate with each other. but my favorite thing is how a mama bird feeds its young. so we made a game of it. it's time to play "baby bird." ♪ baby bird baby bird squawk! ♪ >> jimmy: i wish you could see questlove singing that. it's so good. okay, here's how the game works. each team will have 20 seconds for mama bird to take the worm from that pile of dirt over there, then flap her wings to the baby bird sitting patiently in the nest let me finish. and like all birds, they can't use their hands. only their beaks. the mama bird must drop the worms io the baby's mouth, who then spits them into his empty egg shell. whichever team collects the most

worms wins. l's meet our first pair of audience contestants. come on in. ♪ >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> nice to see you. how are you? >> jimmy: doing good. what is your name? >> eric. >> jimmy: eric, where are you from? >> brooklyn. >> jimmy: brooklyn, new york. very, very good. >> i'm don. >> jimmy: don. >> yep. >> jimmy: where are you from, don? >> buffalo. >> jimmy: from buffalo? >> yeah. >>immy: good man. all right, good. two new yorkers. got a little advantage there. no you just came to the show tonight dressed like this, right? we didn't -- >> we did, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, you did. okay, yeah. so interesting. okay, here we go. mama bird, you're going to go take your spot over there behind the dirt and get ready to . by bird, i'm going to ask you to climb in your nest here. there you go. now remember, you have to catch it in your mouth and then spit it into the egg. right? [ audience ohs ] all right, very good. yeah, there you go, mama bird. [ cheers and applause ] of course you're excited about it. you're not catching some spit gummy worms in your mouth. okay.

here we go, you guys. let's put 20 seconds on the clock. mama, baby, you guys ready to feed? >> yeah. >> jimmy: ready, set. feed your baby bird! ♪ [ chirping ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: three seconds. two seconds. hurry up, one second! [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] that last one, you just kind of spit one there. mama bird, come on over, mama bird. look at mama bird's teeth. can you zoom in on them? there you go. [ laughter ] let's take a look at that again in slow motion, please. [ audience ohs ] ♪ [ chirping ]

>> jimmy: all right, tre we go. i've been counting the worms. six worms. a total of seven worms right here. ♪ not bad. that is pretty good. pretty good. great job, guys. all right, step to the sidover there. now let's see how our next contestant does. come out, this team. come on. team number two, come on out. ♪ >> jimmy: come on over here, buddy. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: nice to see you. how are you guys doing? what is your name, and where are you from? >> aaron from australia. >> jimmy: oh, you're from australia? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, welcome. very good. welcome. aaron from australia, very good. >> and michael from sydney. >> jimmy: what? >> michael. >> jimmy: marco? >> no, no. michael. >> jimmy: oh, michael. >> michael, yeah. >> jimmy: from sydney? >> yes. >> jimmy: you're both from australia? >> we are. >> jimmy: you guys are friends, i'm assuming. >> we are. >> jimmy: yes, very good. have you ever spit in your friend's mouth before?

[ laughter ] >> not for a little while. >> not in a few weeks. >> jimmy: not in a few weeks. that's perfe. so this will be a little bit fresh for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: remember, only the worms that fall into the egg shell will be counted. okay, take your positions. mama bird, you're over there. baby, step in your nest. >> very exciting. >> jimmy: yes, this is -- they do these types of shows in australia? >> no. no, not really. [ laughter ] it's not what i had in mind for myfirst television appearance. >> jimmy: this is going to be great. oh, yeah, yeah. all rht, here we go take your positions. put 20 seconds on the clock. ready, set. feed your baby bir ♪ [ chirping ] come on, hurry up. 15 -- hey, that was a good one there. 12 seconds. ght seconds. five seconds. four seconds, three, two, one. ♪ >> jimmy: very, ve nice. very, ry nice. stay over here. [ cheers and applause ] good job. let's see what that looked like in slow motion, everybody.

♪ [ irping ] >> jimmy: five, six -- seven! [ audience ohs ] what is that? it's a tie. it's a tie. ♪ all right. you guys, it's a tie. we do have a tiebreaker challenge. to break the tie, we're going to have a bird calling coest. [ laughter ] take a look at the monitor there and watch the bird call u'll be imitating. [ bird calling ] very good. [ ughter ] we'll start with the first team. mama bird, go for it. [ bird calling ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: baby bird, let's see what you've got. [ bird calling ] >> jimmy: pretty good. okay, team number two. mama bird, let's hear it. [ bird calling ] [ laughter ]

and baby bird. [ bird calling ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: very good. audience, you have to vote. [ drumroll ] is it team number one? [ cheers and applause ] or is it team number two? [ cheers and applause ] we have a winner. from australia, team number two! ♪ congratulations, guys. representing australia, let's see what you've won tonight. >> it'she select-a-feed triple tube bird feeder by top flight. features copper fill guard and quick release seed tray. it's the top flight triple tube bird feeder. and it's yours for winning "baby bird." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. very, very nice.

congratulations, guys. >> jimmy, thank you, te. thanks for having us. >> jimmy: please, fantastic. as always, nobody walks away from here empty handed. our losing birds will each take home a bag of birdseed. ♪ there you go, you guys. thank you for playing, everybody. ank you for playing "baby bird." next up is diane lane. come on back! ♪ [ mom ] my son ryan didn't know his voulez-vous

from his frere jacques... [ speaking french ] [ mom ] ...so he decided to sdy in paris. ♪ to see french masterpieces with his very own eyes. we even linked our citibank account to his so when his account ran low we just transferred funds. i just hope the language isn't a barrier. bonjour. [ mom ] my ryan can be very shy.

[ male announcer ] from liked accounts to citi mobile we make it simple to manage your finances. what's your story? citibank can help you write it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everyby. our first guest is an oscar-nominated actress who's starred in such hits as "unfaithful" and "the perfect storm." her latest, "secretariat," is in theatres everywhere this friday. please welcome the beautiful and talented diane lane. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> love it. thank you so much. >> jimmy: welcome. welcome to our show. you loogorgeous as always. >> thanks for having me. so nice to be here. >> jimmy: we actually have a little thing in common. >> okay. >> jimmy: we have a bowling league here on our show. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and a bunch of us get together, and we formed teams of four ad i was on a team called

the -- what was i again? stars and strikes. >> okay, that's a good title for the team. >> jimmy: the bling stones. we had other names. come on i want to lane ya. gutter fingers. strikasaurus. bowl movement. but one team we played against was the diane lanes. >> oh! >> jimmy: that's them. [ cheers ] >> i'm flattered. how'd they do? >> jimmy: seth herzog, he goes shirtless when he bowls. the record was -- they ranked 16th out of 16 teams at the d. >> wel there you have it. so sorry about that. >> jimmy: but it was really cool name, the diane lanes. we loved it. >> i'm very flattered. >> carson: we're huge fans of yours here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: your husband was just here two weeks ago. >> i know. >> jimmy: he was great. >> he was so amazing. >> jimmy: i love the -- >> he ran up there, kissed everybody. i said, "are you running for office?" he got back in the seats. >> jimmy: kissing babies. >> i know. i adore him. i'mis biggest fan. it's true. >> jimmy: would you guys every do a movie together you think?

>> well, on camera? [ laughter ] you know, we crack each other up too much, honestly. i couldn't keep a straight face, i don't think. he should direct me, though. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, he bosses me around. i give him a hard time. and that's sort of how it works, right? >> jimmy: you were telling me backstage, you guys -- you don't do the driving when you drive >> exactly. no. his hands are on the wheel, baby. >> jimmy: all the time? >> unless he gets a speing ticket, and then i come in and scoot in for a moment and explain to the officer. we drive a mile down the road. that actually happened on a road trip in an rv with the kids. sorry, babe, i threw you under the train. >> jimmy: did you get out of the ticket? >> no, he got the speeding ticket. i drove away. and then he's like, "okay, the cops are out of sight. i'm taking the wheel again." >> jimmy: oh, rlly? >> it was great. >> jimmy: he just makes the switch-a-roo? >> well, it was a speed trap. and honestly, he won the toyota grand prix, she's a speeder. >> jimmy: did he really? >> yeah. >> mmy: i didn't know that. how do you speed in an rv? >> with effort. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a different type of race, those things. i'm the worst.

i'm the sam my wife is the driver of our -- yeah, i'm awful. i'm just a terrible driver from new york. my parents taught me, and they're from new york. >> exactly >> jimmy: i'm second generation bad. i'm awful. i do everything the gps tells me. so for driving, my wife is like, "all right, are you sure you want to do this?" i'm like, "yeah, the gpis telling me to drive off this cliff." [ laughter ] >> she said. it's always a woman. >> jimmy: i gave it like a nice mary poppins voice. >> i moved out of new york just so i could have a car. i couldn't wait to drive. it's a foreign thing to be ae to have a license with your picture on it and everything. >> jimmy: your dad was a -- >> well, we had a car in the family because dad drove a cab. >> jimmy: a cab driver? >> well, it was a very convenient way for him to make money. he was many things. but from the age of 7 till i was about 13, he drove a yellow cab. 6s99. if i ever had a band, that's what i would call my band. [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: that's pretty cool. s99. >> yeah, that was his number. i still look for it. >> jimmy: that's so cool. and, so wait. so your dad had a cab, so you would just like -- driving the family cab? >> wellyou know, we'd do

things like take friends to jones beach, or we went to great adventure. you know, 'cause we had the car. we could actually have friends and take them places instead of publ transpiration. the monkeys tore up the car, though. they do that. they rip off the taxi sign and the -once they got a hold of the medallion, he's like, "no, tt's too expensive." >> jimmy: wait, where was this? >> gat adventure. do you remember in the '70s -- you weren't around. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, i was. yes, i was. >> i know. >> jimmy: but great adventure, they had -- >> it was a theme park, and they had wild animal rides that you uld take your car through. >> jimmy: with actual animals? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: they weren't rides at all th. >> well -- >> jimmy: i guess the car was the ride. >> you bring your own ride and try to make it through. >> jimmy: wait, you took your dad's cab, or wasad driving the cab? >> oh, he was driving. i was, like, 9. >> jimmy: oh, okay. i thought you, like, borrowed the car. >> no. >> jimmy: like, "dad, you're not going to believe this, but 12 monkeys ripped your car into pieces." [ lahter ] >> sorry about that medallion, pop. >> jimmy: there's fur all over the back seat. speaking of animals, "secretariat." >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i love this movie. >> thank you. >> jimmy: were you psyched when

you read the script? >> i loved the horse. i love any horse, but this horse in particular is the superstar of all horses. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, won the triple crown and -- >> that's right. but by a margin that will neve be topped in any -- >> jimmy: still holds the record, right? >> it can't even get near to it, really. 31 lengths. it's such an expression of joy to watch a horse do this. you can't make a horse do that. he has to want to do it. >> jimmy: it's insane. they're machine, those horses. >> well, cheated. he had twice the heart. nobody knew that. he had a 22 pound heart, and most horses have a 10 pound heart. >> jimmy: isn't that crazy? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that is insane. >> he was an oxygen-makin machine. >> jimmy: yeah, i remember i went to some horse race once, and i went down to the -- i forget what you call it. not the paddock. >> where they keep the horses. >> jimmy: yeah. and i went down there to see who won. but this horse won the race. and i rememb just going like -- he goes, "would you like to pet the horse?" i go"sure." so i went up, and i patted him, and i go -- he goes, "just tell him good job." i go, "good job." and the horse looks at me he's like -- "thanks, man." [ laughter ] this thing is a machine. there's veins popping out. >> they love it. they live for it. >> jimmy: they love to race. >> they really do. >> jimmy: but god, it was a gorgus movie.

it's just beautiful. and you see, you know, the stables and all this stuff. where did you shoot it? >> well, we -- actually, we're in kentucky. and it was wonderful to be in lexington and louisville. we did recreate some of churchill downs. you can't film there forever. it's very expensive. so louisiana was another sta that was very accommodating to us. we recreated, you know, 1973, you've got to dim everything down a little bit. >> jimmyit looks so cool, whoever did the set design. >> oh, it was beaifullyone. so much pride went into this. >> jimmy: awesome wigs. your hair was done in that awesome way. >> i had to live up to her -- pennyhenery, and her hair. my hair would never do that. >> jimmy: now, they tried to make her story for a long time, but she never gave them the rights, right? >> it's true. i think she wanted to be handled in a way tt she was going to be pleased with. and she tted the script. it's hard. can you imagine -- i hung out with her. it's so cool to be talking to someone that you're going to be in a movie, and you hope they like you. >> jiy: you're going to be them. >> i know, i know. >> jimmy: it's just so cool. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and great cast, too. john malkovich is hilarious in it. >> oh, everybody's lovely. >> jimmy: it's a good movie. we have a clip from "secretariat" right here. check it out. diane le.

>> my accountants, they may be slow of foot, but they are quick to calculate. and they tell me that you're in a rough spot. so i'll buy that horse of yours right w. $7 million, all cash. >> if he does at i think he'll do, his value will double, if not triple. >> you donow what you're saying. you're guaranteeing that this horse is gonna win the triple crown, the derby, the preakness and the belmont. three race, three states in just five weeks hasn't been done in 25 years. >> that is exactly what i'm saying. >> $8 million. >> no. >> you're that stubborn? >> i'm that right. >> jimmy: yeah, you know it! [ cheers and applause ] you know it! that dude's awesome. hey, i'd like to play a ge with you if you don't mind.

you know that game where you throw beanbags into a -- >>i love the name of this game. will you please say it? >> jimmy: this game, instead of beanbags, we threw beanbag fish and you throw it into -- >> but what's the name of the game? >> jimmy: total icehole. >> isn that a great name? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: will you play when we come back? >> ocourse. >> jimmy: all right, very good. "secretariat" is in theaters everywhere friday, october 8th. this friday. when come back, diane and i play total icehole. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ diane lane ] when you were 14 you knew exactly where to turn to help your skin get healthy and clear. fast forward a few years... ...and now that your problem is wrinkles we still have the solution dermatologists recommend most. neutrogena ti wrinkle moisturizer with pure retinol sa. in just 1 month it's clinically proven to smooth even the deepest wrinkles. so all you neutrogena girls it's time to become neutrogena women. neutrogena recommended most by dermatologists.

have got such a might crunch they'll surely get us saved. [ crunch ] look, it's a rescue helicopter. [ helicopter noise ] [ crunch ] [ grunting ] [ helicopter departs ] [ birds chirping ] [ male announce] introducing newheat thins crunch stix. host: could switching to geico did the little piggy cry wee wee [wee all the way home? piggy: weeeeeee, weeeeeee, weeeeeee, weeeee weeeeeeee.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with the fabulous diane lane. we're gonna play a game we're growing more and more fond of. it's our "late night" action sport. it's called total icehole. [ cheers and applause ] you and i are going to tae turns tossing our fish beanbags into that ice hole upstage. the rules are simple. five turns each. if your fish lands on the ramp, it's one point. if it goes in the hole, ree points. a fish on the ramp cannot be touching the floor. you can knock your opponent's fish off the ramp. but if you knock their fish down the ice hole, they get three points. >> you get my points? >> jimmy: let's get it on. >> fair enough. >> jimmy: let's do this. >> this is war. >> jimmy: diane, you go first. >> oh, really? >> jimmy: yea >> no presh. >> jimmy: no presh. >> kids, i'm sorry. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: i'm gonna go underhand. underhand. >> see, you've got the skill

set. ahh, smoothie. [ audience ohs ] i see how it is. >> jimmy: i'm very competitive here. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that was it. come on. oh, my gosh. >> beginner's luck, i'll take it. >> jimmy: yeah. [ audience ohs ] >> okay. >> knock it off! >> i'm with you lady. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, "knock it off." [ audience ohs ] >> oh, well. that was to make up for the other. >> jimmy: come on, here you go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i love this game. we could play all night. hey, it's a tie. we have to play again. >> can i sneak closer with each time? >> jimmy: ye of course. you can do whatever you like. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you're really good at this. you're crazy now. all right, come on.

what is the score now? 6-4. okay. 6-4. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] this is my favorite game i've ever played. all ght, go. [ audience ohs ] >> oh, bummer. are we even now? >> jimmy: what do we have? no, 7-6. here we go. i'm in the lead. >> i heard he was competitive, but -- oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you have to go anyway. you have to go yway. you have to go anyway. wait. come on. >> under or over, what do you think? >> under! >> , please. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: throw this guy, too. >> charity, i'll take it. >> jimmy: if you have to. there you go. i'm taking the win. [ cheers and applause ] it was those kisses that won.

gave me the good luck. you guys, go see "secretariat" this weend, please! the lovely diane lane, everybody! we'll be right back. the guys from "wait wait... don't tell me!" there they are in the bud light lime green room. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ on rare occasions, opposites can coexist.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: those of you at home did not see that, but during commercial break, we played another game. y scored three in a row. >> i did. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, you're a ringer. >> i did. all my best work is off camera. but thank you for filming it. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on the win. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you guys, our next guests are the hosts of a very popular, very funny hour-long quiz show on npr called "wait wait... don't tell me!" please welcome carl kasell and peter sagal, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good. how are you? >> jimmy: welcome. thank you guys for coming on the show. >> oh, well, we're happy the make the time. happy to be here. >> jimmy: yeah. this is a giant show. for people who don't knowwait wait... don't tell me!" can you tell everyone -- can explain what the show is?

>> carl? >> it is a weekly look at the news of the previous week, and we make fun of it. >> yes, we do. we are very disrespectful. we're not kind. we're not nice. we sort of -- most people who listen to public radio in particular, because we are in public radio, which is very gentile, they find themselves sitting in their lovely appointed kitchens,houting things at the radio. we actually say the things on the radio tt they shout. we're sort of the id, the crazed -- >> jimmy: it's such a great show. i urge everyone to listen to it. or you can go to npr.org. >> npr.org. you capodcast it. >> jimmy: you can podcast it. >> we're not busy we'll come to your house. we'll do it for you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's so fun. you mix, like, a quiz show type of thing into the format. >> we do. and this is because -- one of the things we've done, demographic studies of public radio listeners. and one thing they love is -- this is their hoy, their

favorite hobby is feeling smug. so what we do is we ask really easy questions on the radio, allowing 3 million people all over the country and abroad to sit in their kitchens and go, "i knew that." >> jimmy: is that right? 3 million people. >> 3 million people plus a million pod casters. >> npr is a very dignified netwo. the programming is very dignified. >> was. >> it was. until we came along. our motto is "npr without the dignity." >> jimmy: well, you've done it, yes. it's such a fun -- and you're very quick witted, both of you guys. i came on the show as a guest once. >> you did. it w great to have you. >> jimmy: i was never invited back. [ light laughter ] but still, i think i did okay. i think i did pretty well. >> you did great. ifi remember correctly, you did two out of three. people should know that we have celebrities, like jimmy, on the show. and we ask them very silly questions about things they know nothing about. because we feel that your approach of asking questions of important people like diane, for example, about things they know about is old hat. we think that's been done. we want to ask them completely ridiculous questions about nothing they understand. >> jimmy: and sometimes carl,

the prize of this, a listener gets you -- you record their outgoing answering machine message for them. >> at the beginning, you see, we didn't have any money to buy mugs and tote bags and things like that to give to our winners. >> we didn't have the big network money for bird feeders. [ laughter ] >> so i was asked if i would do this for a short period of time because it was chea >> jimmy: now it's like a cherished -- how many messages have you given out? >> around 3,000 so far. >> jimmy: oh, goodness. that's azing. that's hilarious. you brought a tiny version of a game today. >> we did. well, th is what we did. wbrought some questions because we know you like to play games. >> jimmy: i love it. >> by the way, that thing you did with the birds at the top of the show, that's actually how carl and i warm up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i knew that. >> i just want to say -- and i was hurt by this -- when carl and i do it, it's very tender. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] this is more violent. >> nurturing. >> jimmy: it really is. >> he's my mentor in that way. i have questions, and i want you to know when i do our question on our show, they still sy "late night with jimmy fallon on the back. >> jimmy: now, i have not seen these questions. >> top of the news, we talk about the president.

>> we'll do stuff like that. but we also have silly questions, and these are silly questions. if you don't mind. >> diane: i don't mind. >> jimmy: diane and i can play. >>ll right, let's go with this one. this is good. a florida man suspected of the crime of grand theft auto was arrested by police who found him at home doing what? >> jimmy: they found him at home -- >> they were looking for him because he had been accused of grand theft auto, a serious crime, and they felt they got the right guy because they got to his home and he was doing what? >> jimmy: it would be funny if they found him at home playing the game grand theft auto. >> it would be true. >> diane: really! you got that. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> by the way, the other crimes he was accused of included toppling a gorilla down a ladder. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: jumping over mushrooms. >> you got that one. i'm going to try diane on this

one. this is somewhat -- a chicago woman -- i'm proud of this because we're from ccago -- has sued a movie theatre saying she was injured when she tried to do what while she was watching the movie. >> diane: she was injured? >> yeah, she feels that theowe her damages because she was injured trying to do this while watching the movie. >> diane: wow. pulling up her socks. >> is that something y find dangerous? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i've seen people injured doing that a lot. >> is th why you're not wearing them now? >> diane: i mean, i'm trying to think of something that you do in a movie. i get cold, i pull up my socks. >> let mgive it to you this way. i'll give you a hint. anything that happened to this woman for doing this, she deserved because one should not being doing this in a movie theater. >> jimmy: yoga. >> diane: pogo sticking. >> jimmy: maybe, i don't know. maybe calling for someone. >> i have to take a note, don't go to the movies with jimmy. [ sad tuba ] >> she was injured in this movie theater. she was trying to answer her cell phone. >> jimmy: oh, my god. she should be t in jail, that lady.

>> she's trying to answer her cell phone. she pulls out thcell phone. she drops the cell phone. she reaches the cell phone. she goes -- bonk. and she's hardly injured and she sues -- that was a genuine reenactment. she sues the theater for damages. un-fined, by the way. >> diane: the cup holders. >> the cup holders, terrifying. >> jimmy: now, you guys are doing this tomorrow. >> we're doing this tomorrow at carnegie hall. >> jimmy: at carnegie hall. congratulations. >> carl and i. [ cheers and applau ] >> jimmy: that was fantastic. well, if you don't mind, i know neither of us really won. but questlove would really like carl to leave his outgoing answering machine. is that okay? >> sure, sure, sure. >> jimmy: would you mind? >> not a bit. >> jimmy: carl kasell doing it. >> steve: have we played the game? because there's fcc rules about this. >> no, it's fine. it's fine. >> jimmy: it counts if it's "late night." here we go, press record. now you want to just read this here. press record now. there y go. >> wake up, you have reached questlove.

you can leave a message after the beeif you want, but i haven't checked my voicemail since, like, 2005. hit me up on twitter @questlove, peace. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic. i am so happy that you're here. this is fantastic. my thanks to carl kasell, peter sagal and "wait wait... don't tell me!" you got to check it out. we'll be back with super group fistful of mercy. come one back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheersnd applause ] [ son ] my parents have always lived in the states.

until two years ago, when my dad transferred to istanbul. they settled in quickly. found their local deli. a few shortcuts. and a neighborhood hangout. but there's one thing they miss. their beloved hometown team. so i asked citi -- how many thankyou points it would take to give them something special. their old seats, 5 and 6, row c.

male announcer ] citi thankyou points can be used for almost athing you choose. what's your story? citi can help you write it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guests are a new band featuring the talents of ben harper, dhani harrison and joseph arthur. their debut album, "as i call you down," just came out yesterday. here with the song "father's son" with a little help from the roots, please welcome fistful of mercy. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ my father he done told me toever ever hurto one but now i'm sick and mad and i've been caught ♪ ♪ red handed hell i'm still my father's son ♪ ♪ i lay awake till daylight a pillow and a gun ♪ ♪ but if my secret dreams could be seen on screen then they'll be coming for this one ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord betteslow down lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow dn lord ♪ ♪

♪ ease lord now rgive me even though i don't deserve ♪ ♪ i nevewas too good and now the devil's all i serve ♪ ♪ my woman she done left me i told her twice to go the first time she ignored me ♪ ♪ but then i threw her on the floor ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow down lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ ♪ i sleep with one eye open ♪ ♪ i weep with both

eyes closed time is coming down on me ♪ ♪ and tomorrow never knows haven't i suffered haven't i suffered my fill and if you don't ♪ ♪ pray for me now nobody ever will ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow down lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ ♪ now i'm in the graveyard there's darkness all around voices floating

through thair ♪ ♪ speaking with no sound you were your father's son but you left him far beyond beyond the reach of mercy ♪ ♪ in the darkness of the sun ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord betteslow dn lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better ow down lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow down lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪ ♪ i'm so down lord better slow down lord i'm so down lord better slow down lord ♪