Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 11, 2017 11:34pm-12:36am EDT

11:34 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- naomi watts, andy cohen,
11:35 pm
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 724, pa. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. thank you very, very much. i feel the love! i feel the love. hi. looking good. hey, welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it, baby. we made it. you're here. [ cheers and applause ]
11:36 pm
well, here's what people are talking about. this weekend, president trump is going to spend the night at trump tower for the first time since he took office. [ light laughter ] yeah. he's going to be surprised when he walks in and finds out that melania turned his room into a a home gym. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: it just -- it happens. it's sad, but it happens to every -- that's all right, trump -- trump will sleep in his own bed for the first time since he was elected. then he'll wake up and be like, "i just had the craziest dream. people were calling me president and asked me about north korea. it was a complete nightmare." [ laughter and applause ] i'm back in washington, mitch mcconnell says congress is underperforming because trump set too many fake deadlines. [ light laughter ] and trump said that is not true and demanded mcconnell apologize by august, 43rd. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: october 11 teenth, the latest. but yesterday, trump was asked about his relationship with the attorney general jeff sessions and said "it is what it is, it's fine."
11:37 pm
[ light laughter ] then he got emotional because those were also his wedding vows. and he goes -- [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: ho! >> jimmy: "it's a beautiful day. it's so beautiful." let's get to some sports here, you guys. a picture is going viral of manchester united player marouane -- is it marouane? >> marouane. >> jimmy: marouane fellaini -- i don't really know soccer over here. but these are big. >> steve: he's big. >> jimmy: famous, yeah, yeah, yeah. he's at manchester u. m u. yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: huge. you're a giant soccer fan. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, he played -- mu, mu, mu. >> steve: mu, mu, mu, mu! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] marouane fellaini, he was just taken -- he got hit in the face with a soccer ball, right? and this photographer managed to capture that exact moment. this is a real photo, look at this. oh. [ laughter and applause ] now, don't feel too bad for fellaini because he's actually been using the picture to get a a lot of new endorsements --
11:38 pm
companies like using the photo in their ads, i'll show you what i mean. the first -- the first ad says, "united airlines, this is how it feels to fly united." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this one says, "snapchat, try our new face in a blender filter." that's -- [ laughter and applause ] interesting filter. and this last one says, "maybelline, some people aren't born with it." see, i don't know. [ laughter and applause ] "waboom!" and finally, a reporter on the nfl network was talking about a a player who is dealing with a a bulging disk when she had a a little slip of the tongue. take a listen to this. >> if you'll remember last year, he was dealing with a a bulging dick -- disk issue rather in his lower back. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: when asked how long his injury should last
11:39 pm
hours." we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. it's friday! we have got a great show tonight. from the new movie "the glass castle," naomi watts is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ah! >> jimmy: i love naomi watts. plus, this guy's one of my best pals, i love him so much. he's the host of "watch what happens live with andy cohen," andy cohen is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh >> jimmy: he also has a great channel on sirius, "radio andy." >> steve: really? >> jimmy: which is -- yeah, 102 -- it's right next -- he's neighbors with howard. and it's a great station. he's on all the time. i'm deejaying by the way. >> steve: you're doing beatles? >> jimmy: i did a beatles
11:40 pm
today. started today. >> steve: i heard it on the radio. i was driving in my car. and you came on the radio -- >> how big's your wheel of your car? >> steve: like this big -- it's like tiny -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: were you driving -- a go cart? >> steve: it's my -- it's my -- yeah, my go cart. >> jimmy: you drive a go cart to work? >> steve: i drive my go cart around my track -- [ mimicks engine ] >> jimmy: i mean probably gets better -- cause you're environmentally friendly -- >> steve: huge! >> jimmy: you don't want -- yeah. >> steve: huge, giant environmentalist. >> jimmy: solar -- solar powered go carts. >> steve: solar powered go carts -- >> jimmy: and you have sirius radio on there? >> steve: yes, which is powered by 17 diesel engines. that beam it straight to my car. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: diesel, i mean, how much gas does that take just to power up your radio? >> steve: just for the radio? >> jimmy: yeah, well -- well -- >> steve: oh, i think it's like two tankers a day. something like that. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: anyways, so i'm -- i deejayed the beatles thing and so it's on -- after you listen to "radio andy," listen to the beatles just -- this week on channel 18. >> steve: 18? >> jimmy: i do -- it's not like top ten, 'cause it's hard to pick -- it's like 10 or 11 songs. i know, questlove's already judging, but it's not my top -- it's not my top ten beatles songs. >> steve: it's just -- >> jimmy: understand that, i'm just deejaying for fun. >> steve: you're just goofing off. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm just like -- talk like this and act like we had a great time. li
11:41 pm
together. >> questlove: what'd you choose? >> jimmy: oh, gosh, "she said she said." >> steve: "she said, i know what it's like to be dead?" >> jimmy: yeah, it's a deep cut. i did "she loves you" because that was the first -- i think explosion of the beatles to america where people were imitating them. they kept calling them the "yeah, yeah, yeah" band. and that was written by the beatles and clarence, of course. >> steve: clarence. >> jimmy: yep. [ light laughter ] and -- eddie murphy's at home laughing. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: eddie murphy, he gets it. anyway -- yeah, so that's -- that's happening as well, but anyways, andy is going to come on the show. and andy cohen, we're going to play an all tv version of "five second summaries." >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: it's a fun game -- yeah, it's really -- yeah, you don't know what that is, but yeah, it's great, you're -- [ cheers and applause ] do i know what that is? it's a fun game. "five second summaries" is a a fun game you can play all summer long. and then we have great stand-up -- i -- i've wanted to have this guy on the show for a a long time. i know -- probably -- he's been so funny with chelsea handler, i've seen him all over the place. he's just -- sells out all over the country. just go see him on tour. jo koy is here, you guys.
11:42 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: jo koy, representing the philippines. these four are left from the philippines, get together and call themselves the beatles. [ light laughter ] guys, i like that many people were big fans of the podcast here at the show. you like podcasts? [ cheers ] i listen to them all the time. i listen to them at the gym, when i'm taking my gokart into work. whatever i'm doing -- oh, yeah, i take one, too. >> steve: you love -- i know, i love your gokart. >> jimmy: i know, man. that's fantastic. well, anyways i love podcast and because we thought it'd be fun if -- to have our very own "tonight show" podcast. we did it. we started recording one called, "the tariq & adler" podcast. starring our own tariq trotter from the roots and one of our writers johnathan adler. there they are there. [ cheers and applause ] adler, you're so white right now, i -- i can't really -- i can't even tell you. i can't even tell you. [ laughter ] like really can't tell you. now keep ind
11:43 pm
they've rarely spoken aside from an awkward head nod in the hallway. [ light laughter ] well, tonight we have the newest installment of their podcast, i hope you enjoy it, check it out. >> tariq: what's up, this is tariq. >> and this is adler. >> tariq: and this is the "tariq & adler podcast." allergies, i have none. i'm sure you're allergic to everything. everything, you have to be. >> you -- why do you think i'm allergic to so many -- >> tariq: i mean, you just look allergic. >> you have no allergies whatsoever? >> tariq: no -- well, there is bull [?bleep ] i'm allergic to that -- >> you picking up any of that right now? >> tariq: a little bit. hammocks are whack. >> not into 'em? >> tariq: not into 'em at all. >> because it's hard to get in and out? >> tariq: hard to get in and out, you know, there's no way to do it cool. >> when you sit outside at home, you're on some sort of -- >> tariq: i'm on a sofa. >> you have a sofa outside? >> tariq: yeah, it's called patio furniture. >> oh, okay. [ laughter ] do you have to bring the cushions in every time it rains? >> tariq: i mean, we should, but no, we just don't. >> no. well, then you got to worry about mildew. >> tariq: i mean, yeah, or you could just ball out and when those cushions get [ bleep ] up, you just get new cushions.
11:44 pm
>> that sounds like a a commercial for the most boss patio place, ever. >> tariq: come to "daddios-patios!" [ laughter ] we say, "[ bleep ] those cushions." >> how about you mil-don't. [ light laughter ] we'll cut that part. when people find out you're a a rapper, they will on the spot say, "kick something." >> tariq: yeah, yeah, "oh, kick a rhyme." >> "kick a rhyme?" i didn't even know that was something you could ask for. >> tariq: yeah. >> okay, i bump into you in the hall. "hey, what's up, tariq, kick something." >> tariq: psh, i kick you in your nuts. [ laughter ] >> is there another verse coming after that? >> tariq: no, that's it. >> what do you think comes up as sort of the autofill when you search tariq trotter? >> tariq: i put in like tariq, t-r-o-t and then it'll say, "t-e-r-boss." >> you think it says boss? >> tariq: no, that's what comes up when i put in tariq trotter it'll go, "do you mean tariq trotter, boss?" >> my bull [ bleep ] allergy is starting to act out. >> tariq: oh, [ bleep ]! [ laughter and applause ] man! >> jimmy: give it up for tariq and adler right there. there they are. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
11:45 pm
stick around, we'll be right back with "thank you notes," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ during our made to move 2017 clearance event, you can do endless online research. or, you can take advantage of our best offer ever on an xt5. don't wait. our 2017 models will be moving fast. you can drive a car... or you can drive a cadillac. come in now before the end of our made to move 2017 clearance event and leave with the perfect cadillac xt5 for your next adventure. choose a low mileage lease on this xt5 for around $339 per month.
11:46 pm
[laughs] ♪ you have a side that is retired ♪ ♪ playing tag and gettin' tired. ♪ ♪ you have a side that saves for their tuition. ♪ ♪ but right now it looks like bedtime is the mission. ♪ ♪ a side that owns your own store. ♪ ♪ looks like you need to expand some more. ♪ ♪ that's why there's nationwide. ♪ ♪ they help protect and grow your many sides. ♪ ♪ nationwide is on your side. ahyou the law? we've had some complaints of... is that a fire? there's your payoff, deputy. git! velveeta shells & cheese. there's gold in them thar shells. no splashing! wait so you got rid of verizon, just like that? uh-huh. i switched to t-mobile, kept my phone-everything on it- -oh, they even paid it off! wow! yeah. it's nice that every bad decision doesn't have to be permenant!
11:47 pm
ditch verizon. keep your phone. we'll even pay it off when you switch to america's best unlimited network. ♪ [brother] any last words? [boy] karma, danny... ...karma! [vo] progress is seizing the moment. your summer moment awaits you, now that the summer of audi sales event is here. audi will cover your first month's lease payment on select models during the summer of audi sales event.
11:48 pm
11:49 pm
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. happy friday. >> steve: is it really? >> jimmy: because, you know, how i knew it was friday? because that's usually when i catch up with personal stuff. >> steve: uh-huh >> jimmy: i check my inbox. >> steve: right. >> jimmy: i return some emails. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: and, of course. [ light laughter ] >> steve: anything in your inbox? >> jimmy: then i also -- i just -- yeah. just cleared my inbox. [ laughter ] >> steve: you cleared it? >> jimmy: and then i write out my thank you notes. i usually write them out on friday. >> steve: really? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can i write my thank you notes now? is that cool? can i write them out? james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please. ♪ [ laughter ] oh, there he is. look at that. >> steve: there he is. >> jimmy: he's a stud, yeah. thank you, james. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. thank you. ♪ thank you, pictures of vladimir putin on vacation. [ laughter ] for being the political version of trying to make your ex jealous ns
11:50 pm
he's like, "yeah, look at me. [ laughter and applause ] look at -- look at what you're missing out on. look at me. look at how cool i am! look at my glasses." i turned into schwarzenegger for a second. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, new post white house photos of sean spicer -- [ laughter ] for looking like the after footage and from a prozac commercial. it's like -- [ laughter and applause ] so happy. so happy. >> steve: yeah. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, "sharknado 5: global swarming" for giving celebrities something to do when "dancing with the stars" says no. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: no, do it. ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, "the nut job 2: nutty by nature" -- [ laughter ] for hitting both theaters and the news this week.
11:51 pm
oh, there you go. >> steve: hey! [ cheers and applause ] hi-oh! hey! ♪ hip-hop, ho [ light laughter ] hip-hop, hooray ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, being looped in on a long e-mail chain for making me feel like a a detective trying to solve what the hell this e-mail's actually about. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you, disney, for pulling your movies from netflix and launching your own streaming service instead. which explains why "frozen" is now called disney and chill. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-o! >> jimmy: come on. >> steve: nice. topical. ♪ i give props to hip-hop ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪
11:52 pm
white house staffer who called trump a two-minute man because he only has the patience to read half a page. or as guys everywhere put it, "yes, that is why i am also called a two-minute man, as well." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: doink! >> jimmy: read a half a page. ♪ thank you, the white house, for fixing the air conditioning in the west wing. then one guy was like, it was definitely a lot cooler when i was there. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-o! ho! ♪ that was a seven-string bass. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's good. i mean it's not written yet. but when i think of it. [ laughter and applause ]
11:53 pm
i'm thinking about something i'm about to write down. >> steve: oh, okay. [ laughter ] what are you going to write? who are you going to thank now? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, lobsters, for always looking like you're flashing gang signs. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: there you have it! those are my thank you notes! we'll be back with naomi watts! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ nthese two should not be wed, speak now. (coughs) so sorry. oh no... it's just that your friend daryl here is supposed to be live streaming the wedding and he's not getting any service. i missed, like, the whole thing. what? and i just got an unlimited plan. it's the right plan, wrong network. you see, verizon has the largest, most reliable 4g lte network in america. it's built to work better in cities. tell you what, just use mine. thanks. no problem. all right, let's go live. say hi to everybody who wasn't invited! (vo) when it really, really matters,
11:54 pm
plus, get the pixel, by google for $5 a month. ( ♪ ) some beers have a lot of ingredients. a lot of different ingredients. our beer is brewed with four essential ingredients: barley, rice, water and hops. ( ♪ ) here's to the beer you can always count on.
11:55 pm
11:56 pm
are you ok? what happened? dad kinda walked into my swing. huh? don't you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund? i thud go to the thothpital. there goes the airfair. i don't think health insurance will cover all... of that. buth my fathe! without that cash from - aflac! - we might have to choose between hawaii or your face. hawaii! what? haha...hawaii! you might have less coverage than you think. visit and keep your lifestyle healthy. aflac!
11:57 pm
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award nominated actress who stars in the new movie "the glass castle" which is in theaters now. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome naomi watts. ♪
11:58 pm
>> jimmy: welcome, welcome back. it's always great to see you. >> hi. >> jimmy: i want to see you more. i haven't seen new a long time. >> i know. >> jimmy: what are you doing? >> it's been too long. >> jimmy: everything great? >> everything's good. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. you just went to africa, is that right? >> that's right. yeah, we had a little vacation with my boys. >> jimmy: and so how long -- did you start somewhere or you just went right to africa? >> well, i started here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's right, yeah. but i'm sorry. did you, like, were you coming from a different location? >> i was in prague and then i went to london. >> jimmy: yeah, see this is what i'm talking about. >> yeah. okay. >> jimmy: this is -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> i was being a wise guy. and yeah, and then you get to nairobi. >> jimmy: okay. >> oh, and then -- >> jimmy: naomi in nairobi. it's so cool. [ laughter ] could be an album.
11:59 pm
but you brought the kids? >> brought the boys and then you wake up. i stayed at this place called the giraffe manor and you wake up and you're just having your breakfast and suddenly, giraffes are poking their heads through the window. >> jimmy: this is insane because this is your son, sasha, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is -- >> yeah, that's the breakfast room. [ audiences aws ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. and this is how giraffes are in the wild. they go door to door and they trick-or-treat. [ laughter ] >> yeah, it's like that. >> jimmy: they trick-or-treat for their food. yeah, i just saw this on national geograpic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're staying at a a great place. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how cool is that? >> i know. it was pretty cool and it gets to a point where it's completely normal. like, you just carry on with your breakfast and next thing you know -- >> jimmy: you see beautiful giraffes around you. >> yeah, they're just everywhere. and -- >> jimmy: one giraffe really loved you. >> yeah, that -- >> jimmy: here's a picture and look at this guy. >> we were on good terms. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he went for it right there. oh, my gosh. [ laughter ] >> we were necking.
12:00 am
you were necking. oh, my gosh. he went for it right there, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how's our pal, nicole kidman? how's she doing? >> oh. [ laughter ] your ex-crush, right? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i mean, i know -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we wouldn't have even -- i'm a loser. she makes the story much nicer than it is. >> well, yeah, she said some nice things about you. i know you guys are all happily married and everything now. so i don't want to say anything. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it would have been nothing. no, no, no. >> yeah, she is officially off the market. >> jimmy: yeah i know she is. >> and you are. >> jimmy: yeah, she's happily married. [ light laughter ] yeah. me, too. yeah. i accept it. >> you should have talked to me. i could have been your wingman at the time. >> jimmy: well, yeah, i mean, i knew you were pals but i didn't know you were like best buds. >> oh, yeah, no, we've been friends for a really, really long time, like -- decades. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i didn't know anyways. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, anyways, tell her i said, "hi." >> i will. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
12:01 am
was -- it didn't go very well. >> jimmy: i didn't even remember. yeah, yeah. she didn't really do it, yeah. >> don't worry, we can get off that subject. >> jimmy: here's a picture of you guys, though. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you posted this. [ audience aws ] aw, come on. now what was this? you guys had a party? >> yes, we did. that was a little celebration for her birthday. and all of the emmys that she just got nominated for "big little lies." >> jimmy: she crushed it. how great is she? >> so crushed it. >> jimmy: she's so good. she's great. [ cheers and applause ] >> and -- >> jimmy: i didn't get my invite. i just checked my inbox and i didn't get -- [ light laughter ] >> i'm so sorry. >> jimmy: i mean, it's no big deal. >> well, mostly it was girls. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm fine. >> you're good with that? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i rel -- i love girls. yeah. [ laughter ] i'd be fantastic at a party. what do you end up doing? do you end up, like, dancing the night away? you probably did. >> well, we start off and we had, like, just an elegant dinner for 10, 12 girls and there was another girl who also was having a birthday and who also was nominated for lots of emmys. bruna and we were in a just intimate setting and everyone
12:02 am
trust each other and -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> and next thing you know like there's some music involved and we did some dancing. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and yeah. >> jimmy: what kind of dancing does nicole do? i've never seen nicole dance. [ laughter ] >> she's a good dancer. >> jimmy: she is a good dancer. >> she can tear it up. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, we were dancing. >> jimmy: me, too. >> and kylie minogue. >> jimmy: and kylie minogue. >> yeah, she's -- >> jimmy: she's an old buddy of mine, too. >> is she? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: known each other for -- >> she can really dance. >> jimmy: decades. oh, he's kylie minogue. >> she's a rock star. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. she's the best. well, she can get behind the piano and started playing some jams. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, you got to tell those girls i said, "hi." >> i will, i will. [ laughter ] i'll say, "hi." >> jimmy: give them my best. and the next time you have a a girl party, that's all right, i can stop by and do some -- [ laughter ] >> well, boys were invited later on. >> jimmy: i can do some stand-up and whatever. >> yeah, you can do them party tricks. yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: come the clown, exactly, yeah. >> we did some party -- [ laughter ] hey, you're fantastic in this movie.
12:03 am
a true story. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it's a a mindblowing story, actually. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and it's -- i mean, what drew you to it? just the book? did you read the book? >> yeah, the memoir -- jeannette walls, she has this incredible way of telling the story, seven years on the "new york times" best seller list? >> jimmy: how do you explain it. it's just -- did you have, like -- >> an unconventional family life growing up. >> jimmy: yeah. >> she -- they didn't have money. they had -- her dad was an alcoholic and her mom was a -- you know, artist and they were trying their best and having to move a lot because of money and stuff like that. so, but jeannette is -- she has a powerful story because it's a a story of hope, and she does -- embraces herself. she was living, kind of, this lie for a long time where she didn't feel like she was her most authentic self. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then finally she was able to embrace who she was and tell the story. >> jimmy: aner
12:04 am
brie larson, who we love, was just on the show. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's fantastic. go check this out. i want to show a clip. here's naomi watts and brie larson in "the glass castle." take a look at this. >> your dad said the he saw you pass by in a cab the other night. acted like we weren't even there. >> you shouldn't be ashamed of us just because we choose a a different lifestyle than you. >> being homeless in new york city does not count as a lifestyle choice. >> well, if we heard from you more you'd know that we found a a lovely place on the lower eastside. >> lori says you're squatting in an abandoned building. that doesn't sound safe, mom. >> when did you lose your sense of adventure? >> i have a little bit of money now. i can help you if you want. >> we're fine. you're the one that needs help. look at you. your values, you're all confused. huh. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ]
12:05 am
commercial but there's no -- we were talking about dancing earlier like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. you don't still do that move where you jump up and do a a split and then jump back up, do you? >> i mean, i'd have to have tequila. [ cheers and applause ] or i could just take my fleece off. >> jimmy: want to see one. can you do one? louis, can we get a beat? >> would it be appropriate -- >> jimmy: just get a beat. >> i feel -- [ cheers ] >> jimmy: no, you have to do it. ♪ >> i'll try. ♪ wait. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about there. naomi watts. [ cheers and applause ] "the glass castle" is in theaters now! that's fantastic. we'll be right back with andy cohen, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ introducing the new moto z with moto mods.
12:06 am
hello moto. ♪ ♪ (3-2-1 liftoff) ♪ ♪ (gasps) (oh!) (cheering) buy the new moto z with shattershield, and you'll get a free projector mod. hello moto. the ford summer sales event is in full swing.
12:07 am
... little help. -hold on, mom. no, wifi. wifi. it's not a question, it's a thing. take on summer right with ford, america's best-selling brand. now with summer's hottest offer. get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. during the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. offer ends soon. ♪ "im on the phone"! ♪ towel please! ♪ while other insurance companies just see a house. we see the home you've worked really hard for. so why not give it the protection it deserves. ♪
12:08 am
[b[cup hits floor]r] [tray clatters on table] [improvised musical sounds] [improvised musical sounds] [bell rings] welcome to our school!
12:09 am
[boy] karma! [vo] progress is seizing the moment. your summer moment awaits you, now that the summer of audi sales event is here.
12:10 am
[vo] the grille is distinctive. but it's usually seen from the rear. the all-new audi q5 is here.
12:11 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: roots! you guys, give me a little beat right now. [ clapping ] our next guest is the host of "watch what happens live with andy cohen" which airs sunday through thursday at 11:00 p.m. on bravo. everyone, please welcome, get out of your seats, andy cohen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's up? >> you guys are so shady. you know why they're playing "chic c'est la vie" by the countess luann.
12:12 am
we hope the best. >> she's now chic c'est la free. >> jimmy: yeah. >> she got divorced. yes. >> jimmy: single. yeah. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: hey. i want to make you feel comfortable in here because i know -- >> okay. >> jimmy: we love having you here so i got some of your favorite snacks. >> you did? >> jimmy: yeah. you know i know you. >> dorites! my favorite! >> jimmy: you love doritos. [ laughter ] and -- >> oh my god, are those spaghettios? >> jimmy: yeah, of course. i know you love -- >> i love spaghettios. >> jimmy: i love spaghettios too. >> my faves. this is worth celebration. you know what? it's friday night, and i'm with jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah! >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! that's what we're going to do. we're going to celebrate! >> i have always loved -- i have always loved celebrating with spaghttios, but -- >> jimmy: do you really? >> yeah, but i don't even need a spoon. you know why? i use the nacho cheese dorite as -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as the scoop. >> yeah. >> jimmy: as the scoop? >> scoop it up with the end. >> jimmy: you double -- you double cheese? >> so good dude. >> jimmy: really? >> oh my gosh. this brings me back to my childhood. >> jimmy: i have a photo of your childhood. >> you do?
12:13 am
>> oh my gosh. this is so good. >> jimmy: i just will say -- >> yes. >> jimmy: andy came over to the house, and we had spaghettios. you were like, you have spaghettios? i'm like, i love spaghettios. you're like, me too. [ light laughter ] >> i know. i have spaghettios in honor of jimmy on golden globes night. i was like, jimmy's hosting. i have to make spaghettios. >> jimmy: i think about you all the time. >> yeah. >> jimmy: here's a photo i found of you, and just explain what is happening in this -- everything on -- >> oh right, well, you know. [ laughter ] that's a -- you have camp. you went to camp winnepasaukee with justin timberlake. >> jimmy: yes i did. >> i went to camp nebagamon at lake nebagamon, wisconsin. >> jimmy: did you really? >> i did and that's me on the rifle regime. it's the only sport i've ever been good at. [ laughter ] rifle regime. >> jimmy: are you good at the rifle regime. >> i am. i'm a certified, by the nra, expert in four positions. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: no way. >> prone, sitting, kneeling, and standing. yes. >> jimmy: have you ever gone like, do you still shoot? do you go to ranges? >> no, i think the last time i shot a gun was at a like
12:14 am
>> jimmy: what? i really want to hear that story. >> i know. it's good. >> jimmy: it is good? oh, you've got to tell me because i really want to hear it. >> really? yeah yeah. there was rose. >> jimmy: there was rose. yeah, yeah. yes way rose. >> yes way rose. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: this summer, are you getting any time off? because you've got so much going on. "radio andy" is great, by the way. >> thank you so much, and for the plug. >> jimmy: and jill on there. oh yeah, and it's channel 102. >> uh-huh. right next to howard. >> jimmy: neighbors with howard. [ light laughter ] >> neighbors with howard. >> jimmy: you're neighbors with howard stern. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love it. we listen to it all the time. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i love you. you're great on that. >> thanks. >> jimmy: so you have that, you have "love connection." >> yeah, they just picked it up for a second season. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. it's on fox every thursday night. >> jimmy: it's on fox. >> i'm having the best time. >> jimmy: you know i love "love connection." >> i know you do. >> jimmy: no, it is great. >> i know you do. thank you. >> jimmy: how many -- is the season finished? >> having so much fun. no, we have like -- i think like seven more episodes. we made a lot. there's a woman coming up who, she didn't know that i didn't play for her team, and she kept trying to get me to go on the overnight date with her.
12:15 am
i'm like, this is not going to be satisfying for you. [ laughter ] i'm not going on the date with you. like, it's not -- >> jimmy: i don't play for that team, yeah. i know. yeah, yeah. >> they told her after the show, they were like andy is not that way. >> jimmy: yeah. she didn't know? >> she didn't know. >> jimmy: do your research. >> i know, man. >> jimmy: c'est la vie i guess. >> i know. it's weird. yeah. "chic c'est la vie." >> jimmy: so, "watch what happens live." chic c'est la vie. i mean sa bonne, sa bonne. >> sa bonne, sa bonne. [ light laughter ] i can't believe you know the lyrics to "chiq c'est la vie." >> jimmy: there's nothing on in my house but bravo. [ light laughter ] >> right. oh yeah. >> jimmy: i know every single thing. >> okay good. >> jimmy: you know -- >> you guys warmed these spaghettios up for me. >> jimmy: it's actually warm and hot, right? >> yeah, no, it's great. >> jimmy: it's really good? >> oh, so good. >> jimmy: let's talk about, eight years -- eight years of "watch what happens." >> you and i started doing talk shows at the same time. >> jimmy: isn't that crazy? >> isn't that funny? >> jimmy: i love your show so much. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: you were the first one to have a -- >> you gave me the shotsky. >> jimmy: bar there, a a bartender. you had the two guests. you were the first guy to do that. >> thanks man. >> jimmy: i love it. i watch it all the tim
12:16 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> i'm still having a great time. thanks. >> jimmy: now the studio is bigger. >> yeah, it's a little bigger. >> jimmy: it's all grown -- >> it's like the size of this island now basically. >> jimmy: that's great. are you going to get anytime off? >> yeah, no, i'm about to -- i have as of now, this is my last moment until i leave, and i'm going to go out to the beach, and i'm just going to be on long island for three weeks. >> jimmy: are you doing any more -- [ cheers and applause ] >> i hope to hang for a bit. i want to. thank you. >> jimmy: are you going to do any more interviews from the pool? >> yes, well i'm hoping to interview you from the pool. are we going to do a pool interview? >> jimmy: you did a pool interview. >> i did my whole show from a a pool in fire island once. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: how does that work though? you have a microphone? >> you just have the equipment and they gave me these phones, and you just do it. i didn't get electrocuted. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was a great radio show because we were listening through the radio, but you and your guests are in the pool at the pool party. >> yeah, yes. it was great. >> jimmy: it was so different, and i just loved it. >> super fun. >> jimmy: i would totally love to be on the pool interview. can we do it?
12:17 am
>> jimmy: all right good, i'm in. [ cheers and applause ] al lright guys, can you stick around and play a game? >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: andy cohen and i are playing five-second summaries when we come back. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the surface laptop has a very open sound. it feels like the music is giving you a nice hug. there is something incredibly calming about fabric and the touch of soft things. the speed is great. the faster the computer, the happier my day is. my name is xyla foxlin, and i am an entrepreneur and a designer. come to a complete stop. recalculating. in one mile, arrive at a place where you make your own lane, only to discover... has traffic jams too.
12:18 am
♪ when you filter out the bad... you're left with...the good. in life. and in water. choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. choose the filtered life. when you're close to the people you love, does psoriasis ever get in the way of a touching moment? if you have moderate to severe psoriasis, you can embrace the chance of completely clear skin with taltz. taltz is proven to give you a chance at completely clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of patients had a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. in fact, 4 out of 10 even achieved completely clear skin.
12:19 am
do not use if you are allergic to taltz. before starting you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you are being treated for an infection or have symptoms. or if you have received a vaccine or plan to. inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz. including worsening of symptoms. serious allergic reactions can occur. now's your chance at completely clear skin. just ask your doctor about taltz. now's your chance at completely clear skin. what's going on here? um... i'm babysitting. that'll be $50 bucks. you said $30. yeah, well it was $30 before my fees, like the pizza-ordering fee and the dog-sitting fee... and the rummage through your closet fee. are those my heels? yeah! yeah, we're the same size... in shoes. with t-mobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just $40 bucks each. and now, get zero down on the hottest smartphone brands.
12:20 am
come to a complete stop. recalculating. in one mile, arrive at a place where you make your own lane, only to discover... has traffic jams too. your all new compass. ♪ you got a kitchen that's brand new. ♪ ♪ ♪ and you'd like to keep it that way, too. ♪ ♪ you wanna set out on your own, ♪ ♪ so you can teach yoga and just say "om." ♪
12:21 am
♪ ♪ cuz the two of you are about to be three. ♪ ♪ a little help can go a long way in your life. ♪ ♪ and nationwide is on your side. ♪
12:22 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: guys, welcome back. i am here with andy cohen!
12:23 am
"radio andy." channel 102. "love connection" on fox. "watch what happens live with andy cohen" on bravo. now, look, i know you have a a lot of tv shows. >> yes. >> jimmy: so -- and i also know that you know a lot about tv shows. >> okay. >> jimmy: so i want to play a a game. i want to know if you can describe the tv shows in just five seconds. >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: it's time to play a a game called five seconds summaries. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ one two three four five second summaries ♪ >> jimmy: here's how -- >> that's good theme song. >> jimmy: it's not bad right? >> yeah, yeah it's good. >> jimmy: one, two, three, four. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. here's how the game works. we have a stack of cards right here. each card has the name of a tv show on it. we have not seen these. as soon as you look at the card, you have five seconds to describe what the show is about the best you can, and make me try to guess what show it is. you can't use any words in the title, or say any of the actor's names or the characters in the show. >> okay. >> jimmy: yeah, you're just describing -- >> no characters' names. okay. >> jimmy: no, you're just describing what the show is about in five seconds.
12:24 am
this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you can't even be ready. >> okay. >> jimmy: you got to the go fast. >> okay. >> jimmy: we'll take turns. you go first. put five seconds on the clock. ready? as soon as you pick it up. >> okay. >> jimmy: that's it. go. >> oh, there's a clock and it's a day, and it all happens in. >> jimmy: "sixty minutes." >> no. >> jimmy: "one day at a time." "days of our lives." [ buzzer ] >> "one day at a time." >> no, 'cause i couldn't use the title in the thing. >> jimmy: oh yeah, sorry, sorry. >> should i say what it was? >> jimmy: yes. >> it was "24." >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ light laughter ] okay. >> it happens in a day, and it's a clock, and it's a day. >> jimmy: i know. there's a clock though right? >> yeah, there's a clock on the screen half the time. >> jimmy: i haven't seen that in so long. are you sure? >> i haven't either, but i remember the digital clock on the screen >> jimmy: digital clock. "60 minutes" famously has it. >> that doesn't take place in a a day. >> jimmy: it does on sunday. [ light laughter ] see, but i lost it. all right, i'm going to do one. can i have five seconds on the clock please? here we go. they're on an island. >> "gilligan's island." >> jimmy: they can't get out. >> "survivor." >> jimmy: more recent. jj abrams. [ buzzer ] >> "lost."
12:25 am
>> jimmy: all right. we're not doing well. >> okay. >> jimmy: here's what i'm going to do. i'm going to make it even tougher. i don't know why. >> okay. >> jimmy: only three seconds. three seconds to do it. >> all right. you're killing me. >> jimmy: well, you already did "24." so i know that's not going to be the answer. >> okay. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, let's put three seconds on the clock. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: you go. i'm going to get this andy. go. >> okay. my nails. >> jimmy: oh, "the brady bunch." >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: marsha brady! [ laughter ] >> did you guess? i even did a little valley girl? i said, my nails. >> jimmy: yes. >> my nails. >> jimmy: but she got hit with a football. >> yes. >> jimmy: they were goofing off in the backyard. >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, that was such good prosthetics. >> oh gosh. it's tiring. >> jimmy: it was tiring a a little bit that one. >> yes -- >> jimmy: "the brady bunch." >> now, i'm full from the spaghet. >> jimmy: i know. you have the dorites and the spaghet. >> the dorites and the spaghet. >> jimmy: you remember "brady bunch." when "brady bunch" would get sad they'd just play the theme song slower. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. all right. >> the incidental walk
12:26 am
>> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. okay. >> jimmy: all right. ready? here we go. three seconds. >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, you know her. you have drinks. you have -- [ buzzer ] >> "sex and the city." >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that would have been -- >> well those were horrible clues. >> jimmy: sorry i freaked out. they were horrible clues. how did you get that off those awful clues? >> you said, you know her, and then you said drinks. i don't know. cosmos. >> jimmy: cosmos. what i meant to say. >> she doesn't -- she's not a big drinker. >> jimmy: she doesn't really drink. i know. she's an actor. yeah, i understand. >> well i mean, actors drink. >> jimmy: yeah. manolos. manolos. >> manolos. okay. >> jimmy: i couldn't think of the word manolos. >> the time is up. >> jimmy: i know -- [ light laughter ] i was going to say but i couldn't think of that. >> that would have been good. >> jimmy: that's why i freaked out. >> yeah. that is something you could -- >> you know her. drinks, yeah. >> yeah. okay. >> jimmy: all right. here's this last one. >> okay. >> jimmy: we're going to make it a little tougher even. >> okay. >> jimmy: can we dim lights? >> oh, we're dimming the lights? >> jimmy: no, no, we can't dim the lights, but that's -- oh, we can. >> oh. [ audience oohs ] this is nice. [ cheers and applause ] oh. it's friday! we're having fun tonight! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: one second on the clock. >> one sd?
12:27 am
>> jimmy: one second! basically it's a one word clue. >> okay. >> jimmy: so, whatever show it is, one second on the clock. andy cohen. >> i'm like shvitzing from this game. >> jimmy: let's go. >> okay. meth. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: "big bang theory?" [ audience ohs ] >> meth. >> jimmy: math, like the subject math. >> meth. meth. meth. >> jimmy: oh meth. i thought you said math. >> no. did you guys think i said math? >> jimmy: he said math. oh, meth. meth. "breaking bad." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> math. but that was good. "big bang theory." >> jimmy: right, math, "big bang theory." i was thinking of that one. >> math. i wouldn't say math. >> i was like -- i was thinking, is "a beautiful mind" a tv show. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> no one's thinking about "a beautiful mind." >> jimmy: everybody is. russell crowe is totally thinking of it. >> math. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, here we go. i have one second. the lights are dim. ♪ dim all the lights sweet darling cause tonight a
12:28 am
[ cheers ] >> jimmy: all right here we go. illogical. [ buzzer ] >> oh, "star trek." >> jimmy: yes, there we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "watch what happens live with andy cohen" airs sunday through thursday 11:00 p.m. on bravo. thank you, andy. we'll be right back with comedian joe koy. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:29 am
12:30 am
♪ [brother] any last words? [boy] karma, danny... ...karma! [vo] progress is seizing the moment. your summer moment awaits you, now that the summer of audi sales event is here. audi will cover your first month's lease payment on select models during the summer of audi sales event.
12:31 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:32 am
>> jimmy: our next guest is the host of "inglorious pranksters" on kevin hart's lol network and you can stream his comedy special "jo koy live from seattle" on netflix. everyone, please welcome the very funny, jo koy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i'm so happy. i'm so happy to be in new york. this is great. just like -- jimmy, just like you, i'm a dad. my son just turned 14. [ cheers ] which -- which means i've got about 20 more years before he moves out. [ light laughter ] he's not going anywhere. i got a nice pool. and he takes after -- he's just like his dad. 14 -- when i was 14, same thing. well, he's going to summer school. [ light laughter ] he's going to summer school because he got a 1.8 in the -- in the eighth gr
12:33 am
it's like -- but here's the sad part. i threw him a party. [ laughter ] because when i graduated the eighth grade, it was a 1.7. i was like, "dang, you are smart." [ laughter and applause ] right when he became a a teenager, it's like we stopped hanging out. like we don't hang out like we used to, it kinda sucks -- it sucks. when he was like 12, we used to hang out all the time. we used to go to the mall together -- go to footlocker, buy matching jordan's. walk like out like a puffy video, like -- "ah!" [ laughter ] "and on and on." now we go to the mall and my son just pulls up and he's like, "dad, can you pick me up in three hours?" and i just look at my son and i go, "i don't have anywhere to go." [ laughter and applause ] "what do you want me to do? you want me to drive around, like?" "what am i, uber? why!" [ laughter and applause ] like his new friend is gus, like that's who he hangs out with all the time.
12:34 am
like we're not friends -- it's like, he'll go to the movies and then he'll come home at like 10 and then go right to his room. [ light laughter ] and then i'm like, "you don't even want to talk about the movie?" and then i'll follow him to his room like a jealous girlfriend like, "did you really go out with gus? like who were you with? oh, you don't want to talk about it? oh, you're going to close the door? wow! wow! [ laughter and applause ] i'll wait out here, wow!" and he's not even sleeping. he's facetiming gus. [ light laughter ] 'cause i got my ear pressed up against the door. i'm like, "i hear you!" and i open the door and i said something i shouldn't have said -- like it would have been cool to say it when he was like 5, but like he's 14. and it was the wrong thing to say. i just opened up the door and go, "hey, i'm -- i'm baking cookies." [ laughter and applause ] and my son goes, "huh?" and then i go, "i put milk in
12:35 am
your cookies." [ light laughter ] and then i hear gus on the phone go, "is that your dad?" and my son goes, "yeah, look." and he turned the phone! [ laughter and applause ] and they both start laughing at me! "ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." so i started crying! and i go, "you know what? i'm eating all of the cookies!" he's a jerk. [ laughter and applause ] don't applaud him. he's a jerk. i'm going to take his phone away. i pay the phone, i'm taking the phone away. 'cause when i take my son's phone away, it's like ripping his heart out of his chest. my son physically breaks down when i take his phone. i'm like, "give me your phone." he's like, "ah! what am i supposed to do now, dad!" [ laughter and applause ] i don't know what it is when they turn 14. like this is a great -- i'm on "the tonight show" and i can't wa
12:36 am
son, but i guarantee when i get home, he's going to be sitting in front of the tv, with his boxers on and an xbox headset. and he's just going to look at me and go, "did you get milk? dad, did you get milk? dad, hold on guys, dad, did you get milk?" [ laughter and applause ] i love you guys, thank you so much! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: yes, come on. jo koy. his stand up special is available on netflix. my thanks to naomi watts, andy cohen. >> that was so fun! >> jimmy: jo koy! and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned "for late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching, have a a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
12:37 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- molly shannon. star of "the americans," actor matthew rhys. music from bleachers -- featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meys. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to the "new york times," president trump has removed anthony scaramucci as white house communications director. man, that was fast! [ light laughter ]


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on