tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC July 6, 2018 11:34pm-12:37am EDT
>> questlove: 885. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and appuse ] >> jimmy: that is a fantastic friday night crowd! welcome, everydy. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the night show." thank you so much for being here. [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys. father's day is this sunday. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] father's day.
it's that magical day when you call dad for ten seconds of all talk before he goes, "hold on, i'll get your mother." [ laughter and applause ]ay that's rightfather's day is almost here. but if you forgot about father's day don't worry, your dad probably forgot too. [ laughter and applause ]'t so dorry, it's not a -- guys, this is big. the fifa world cup just got un r way in russia. [ cheers and applause ] and i saw that their official mascot is a wolf. it's a little cartoon wolf named zabivaka. [ light laughter ] zabivaka. check him out. looke t it. th is. [ laughter ] yeah, it turns out zabivaka is russian for "putin captured me on a hunting trip, please help." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, my god. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. yeah. shorter word. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: zabivaka. >> steve: zabivaka. >> jimmy: yeah. when he saw the mascot, trp was like, "he's a mashup of my two favorite things. russia and paw patrol." [ laughter and applae ] you watch "paw patrol"? hey guys. here is some happy news right now. i read that today is smile power day. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, smile.
smile power day is a holiday that is celebrated every year on june 15th. and the goal is to get people to embrace smiling and share their iles with the people in their lives and in general, just to try to -- >> oh, didou say smile power day? i love smile power day. >> jimmy: sorry, who s >> i did. i'm nathaniel botchkins, pro audience member. light laughter ] i'm sorry to interrupt. i just got so excited to hear you talk about smile power day. it's my favorite holiday. smiling is the best. i love doing it. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no way. i love smiling, too. [ light laughter ] hey, you want to try smiling er togeight now? >> no duh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ready? one, two, three. [ light laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ]
[ laughter and applause ] that was great. happy smile power day, [ cheers and applause ] and finally, as i ntioned earlier, this sunday is father's day. dads are the best.ay happy father'sdad. and in honor of all the great ythers out there we asked you to send in videos r kids answering some questions about their dads. questions like what's your b? dad's what makes your dad grumpy? we got a lot of great answers. so now, let's take a look at some of our favorites. it time for "that's my dad ♪ ♪ that's my dad that's my dad ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> what is your dad's favorite thing to do? >> talk about cars and annoy us. >> spend time with his family. >> go in his office. >> yelling. >> drink beer and ride bikes. [ light laughter ]
>> what your daddy's job? >> managing buildings. >> managing budings, okay. >> and unplugging toilets. [ laughter ] >> daddy making the big bucks. >> daddy's making the big bucks?>> hat makes your dad grumpy? >> well, my mom sometimes makes my dad grumpy.[ ughter ] >> what is your dad's favorite song? >> "straight outta compton." [ laughter ] >> "gucci gang." >> what's something your dad always say >> no. >> no. [ light laughter ] >> the f word. [ laughter ] s biggest your da secret? m his favorite. >> i'm his favorite. >> that i'm his favorite. >> he said it to me. >> every single night, he says that tme. >> what's your dad's biggest stcret? >> i think he alot run over by jennifer aniston. [ laughter ] >> what does your dad like to wear? >> d.j. shirts. >> d.j. shirts?
>> that means skeleton! [ light laughter ] >> what does daddy like to wear? >> mommy's clothes? [ laughter and applause ] >> why does daddy love you? >> because i'm in his family. w re his daughters and we are the only person here all the time. >> is there anything else you want to say to your daddy? >> that i love him. very much. >> and i'm his favorite. cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applaus ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]>> immy: guys, welcome. be sure to check us out next week. jared leto will be here. we love jared leto. [ cheers and applause ] whoopi goldberg.
robert pattinson will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have performance from alessia cara and dave matthews band. [ cheers and applause ] dave matthews band! >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: but first, we have another fun show tonight. she's got a brannew talk show called "red table talk." jada pinkett smith is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] "red table talk."on acebook watch. it's good. plus, from the giant new movie s "jc world: fallen kingdom," bryce dallas howard is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we have great stand-up from the very funny nikki glaser is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] l e nikki glaser.is guys, todariday and that's usually when i catch up on personal stuff. you know, i check my in-box.e i return smails, and of course, i send out a few thank you notes. and i was just running a bit behind.rs [ chnd applause ] i thought, if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write s t my weekly thank you no right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please?
♪ [ light laughter ] there's that snarl again. ♪ [ light laughter ] it's not even intense. that's the most charming snarl v i have see. it's not scary at all. [ light laughter ]♪ ♪ thank you, kim jong-un reading your agreement with the u.s., for looking like you just realized the kids' menu doesn't have chicken fingers. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, getting your daa a tie for father's day, for saying, "i don't really know what to buyou, but i do know that you have a neck." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, raptors in "jurassic park," for always looking like you're gossiping about someone at a party. [ laughter and applause ] ♪
thank you, u.s. open trophy, for leing me know what would happen if jeff sessions turned into a golf prize. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, automatic toilets, e for assumingher want to flush right before i sit down or never. [ cheers and applausha] all right,s -- whatever you got. ♪ thank you, brita filter, for lettinme enjoy a nice purified glass of water after waiting only 17 years. [ laughter and applause ] "almost ready, honey. kids, hold your thirst for a a second. couple black pebbles in there, who cares? it's roughage. [ ligh rlaughter ] itghage." ♪ thank you, charcoal, for letting me know what it looks
like when pizza rolls die. [ laughter and applause ] oh, there you go. hey, thank you. those are my thank you notes. we'll be right back wi jada pinkett smith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you're gonna do great! thanks, dad! break a leg! aflac?! not that kind of break. oooh! that had to hurt. aflac?! not that kind of hurt. yeah, aflac paid us cash in just one day to help with our car payments and mortgage. aflac! perfect timing! see how aflac helps cover everyday expenses at aflac.com. look at this new kfc crispy colonel sandwich. the latest of kfc's five dollar fill-ups.
i reckon everything in this collection costs just five dollars each. congratulations. kfc, it's finger lickin' good. congratulations. doto be our next spokesperson?m he's so boring. hm. sounds like you're on the fence. why don't i just leave you my resume? yes, it's laminated. no thanks. you're hired! try caramel m&m's. ow. ♪ if you love me, love♪ like you say ♪ darling tell me all the ways ♪ ♪ tell me all the ways ♪ all the ways at the store, or to your door. target run and done. sometimes a day at the ballpark is more than just a day at the ballpark. [park announcer] all military members stand and be recognized.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a very talented actress who is also the host of her brand new talk show called "red table talk." weekly episodes are available now on facebook watch. please welcome jada pinkett smith. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: come on. you're the best.e >> i have to gshout-out to jaden. >> jimmy: a little shout-out to jaden. >> yes! >> jimmy: oh, man, we love.ou. i love y welcome back to the show. >> thank you.
>> jimmy: you look gorgeous. and congrats on everything that's going on. last time we talked, wed about "girls trip." >> yes. >> jimmy: and then, it became the biggest mowoe ever in the d. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes! >> jimmy: yes, you crushed it, man!pe >> and made a tar out of my girl, tiffany. >> jimmy: tiffany haddish, man. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jim: oh, my gosh. i had never heard of her until that movie and i saw it, and i was like, "who is this person? >> yeah, i was definitely like that when i got to the set. >> jimmy: right? >> because i was like, "oh, ay regina, queen." >> jimmy: right. >> i was like, and you are? >> jimmy: i know, yeah. ow, i know regina, and queen latifah -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i would go anywhere with queen latifah. >> that makes the two of us. >> jimmy: she's the most fun human being, ever. well, tiffany is now hosti the "mtv movie & tv awards" monday night. >> yep. >> jimmy: you going to there? you're nominated for best movie. >> yeah. you know, i mean -- [ cheers and applause ] i can't -- >> jimmy: i'm just saying -- >> i can't give you all the tea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come one. >> can't give you all the tea. >> jimmy: spill a little bit. >> now there might be a little something at the beginning. >> jimmy: okay, all righ >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, good. is there any talk -- can you p en hint at maybe is there talk of a "girls t? >> you know what, there is talk of a "girls trip 2." >> jimmy: yes! >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: dude, i want to see that. i loved it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was so funny. each one of you scored. >> yeah. >> jimmy: congrats on ouat. >> thank thank you. >> jimmy: i love you. i love your whole family. you know, i really do, because i have --, >> i know you mmy. you're always so good to us. >> jimmy: if it wasn't for your family, we wouldn't even have a a show [ laughter ] every other week we have -- jaden was on and he crushed it. >> yes. >> jimmy: he did something that no one has done. he performed in front of his own video. >> i know. >> jimmy: and so he's behind him doing his video, and as he's in front of it, no one ever did that before. >> it looked so od. >> jimmy: he crushed it. >> and you're just always so good to us. so thank you for>>hat. immy: oh, stop. >> i appreciate it. >> jimmy: no, no, we -- >> really. >> jimmy: no, man, you take care of us. will? i mean, that little kid. will, is the -- right? [ light laughter ] >> yes! that one! yes.im >>: that one's a -- he's the rascal, man. >> he is! >> jimmy: your husband is a a little -- yeah. he is now all over youtube and -- >> instagram. >> jimmy: instagram. dude, he's like going crazy. >> yeah, he is. >> jimmy: he's never bedn on social. and now, he's like running around doing all these bits. like, he's hilarious.
>> yeah. >> jimmy: he's like every day there's a new thing he's doing. he's jumping out of a a helicopt. >> he -- >> jimmy: on his, oh, no, are you bummed out by this? >> let me tell you something. [ light laughter ] i might have to, like, have picket signs outside of -- you know? >> jimmy: how did he agree to do this? >> that's the thing. he got dared. i'm like, "will, you are talking about jumping out of an airplane --" >> jimmy: yeah. >> over the grand canyon -- >> jimmy: grand, over the grand -- >> for your birthday!" [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that face is such a a great -- >> and i'm supsed to be okay th this? >> jimmy: you have a family, dude. >> yeah, i'm like "dude, i understand you like to have a a good time, but come on. >> jimmy: no, i mean, seriousl right? >> yes, but you know when people ask me what he's like, go to his instagraand there you have it. that's will. >> jimmy: exactly. yeah, he's like that, right? i mean, at's funny. he can just do stuff like that. >> that's him, all day long. >> jimmy: congrats on .ur new sh >> thank you. >> jimmy: now this is "red table talk" is what it's calledes >> >> jimmy: and this is based on -- did you have a red table in your -- or you just though rit should be table? >> yeah, well, we have one now. >> jimmy: yeah, because it's shot in your house. >> it is shot in the house.
d it's actually an idea that i came up with years ago. we actually did it when willow was 12 as a mother's special. but i just left it alone.t i just did a one-off. >> jimmy: right. >> and then, the producer elleno came to me a year ago and she was like, "what are you doing with this 'red table talk.' we really should do somethin with it." and i felt like willow's older. so why not? let's do it. >> jimmy: i mean, how does willow like -- did she enjoy doing it? because you're there with your mom and your daughter. >> well, you know, willow is . >> jimmy: so, she's like -- >> so she likes it sometimes. and sometimes she doesn't. >> jimmy: she's great in it.he >> so good. >> jimmy: and she's emotional. what a cute face. >> yes.>> immy: i mean, i know her when -- i mean obviously you knew her when she was younger. duh. >> yeah! [ light laughter ]>> immy: who am i talking to? but i knew her as like a baby kind of. >> yeah, and will just put up t the most -- ju cutest little video of her on his e stagram right before i c in here. >> jimmy: really? >> it's so -- >> jimmy: she really -- you've l got a good f you've got good kids, man. >> she's just so precious. >> jimmy: but it's so interesting the show. because you get into some
issues wre you go like, "wow, i don't know if i would bring that up in front of my kids or my mom." itely.h, yeah, def >> jimmy: and you're doing it in front of your kid and your mom. >> and my mom. at the same time. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i was like, 'sdon't know wore embarrassing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i was like -- [ gibberish ] >> we just had the sex show. and like -- literally was >> jimmy: i was like -- o yeah, she was like, i'm not talking about thcamera. i was like, "mom, come on, this is -- we're in 2018, mom.", >> jimmy: n. >> she's like, "no, i don't want to do it." and even while we were making th show she's like, "i'm not answering that -- i'm just not answering that question." >> jimmy: i know. i would be like that too, though. >> she's more embarrassed all the time than any of us. because, she's so old school. t she's so neat. >> jimmy: i know, but i would be -- i don't know i'd be the same. but even, you see willow get embarrassed, but then, like, "yeah," and then, like, she'll talk about something i don't even want to talk about, at she talks about it's like -- >> yeah. [ light laughter ] let me tell you. willow, out of all of us, is like, that's the one that when i sit at the table because we don't talk about the topics before we sit at theable. >> jimmy: oh, so, it's all -- it really is real. >> oh, no, it's all real. and she's the only one i'm like, "lord, have mercy,
what am i going to learn about my child today?" ] [ light laught >> jimmy: yeah, you almost like stuff you know, it's like -- nobut i guess it's good to all that stuff that's going on. >> i think so and i think it's important to have these conversations becaus sometimes, we get so, you know, concerned or we talk so much about what's going on in the outside world, we don't talk ha enough abouts going on within us. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we are all going through so much, you know, n your gender, your color, your economic status. we are all having someing going down in our lives that we need to talk about. e need to talk more abo that. >> jimmy: and it's great, and clearly, people love it. because they just brought it backor, you're having season two. >> yeah. they are bringing 13 more episodes. >> 13 more episodes. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to continue season one, yeah. tly.immy: yeah, ex >> we're going to continue season, yeah. >> jimmy: season one, oh yeah. >> 13 more. >> jimmy: what's the live th that you're doing? because you do the shows mondays, right? >> yeah, we do the shows mondays and th lives on fridays. >> jimmy: now is that -- >> on wednesdays. we do lives on wednesdays. >> jimmy: but, what, now, what is the live one? 's different, that's whe you -- >> that's when we are literally live on facebook. >> jimmy: can --, and people
>> people can ask questions. >> jimmy: based on what happened on mond? >> yes. really, they can ask anything. and i'm always so nervous. because i'm like, "i'm not an expert." let's be clear about that. and i'm as messed up as anybody else. so i don't want to -- >> jimmyno, please. >> i really try to be careful. >> jimmy: no that's fun.t >> you know, jw we answer the questions and what have you. but it is so much fun. and the community that we have is so great. we have such a beautiful "red table talk" community. shout-out to the "red table talk" community out there. >> jimmy: that's right, yeah, that's good -- [ cheers and applause ] >> they're holding us down. they're holding us down.nt >> jimmy: i o show a a clip. here's jada, her daughter willow and jada's mom adrienne t s week's episode of "red table talk." take a look. >> uh-oh. >> my introduction to sex was obviously walking in on you and daddy. that was the first introduction. >> when the hell did you walk in on us? >> it was in utah. no, not utah. aspen. i think it was in aspen. i was going downstairs to get some juice. i saw for a little moment and i ran away. i was like, oh, my god, this is so crazy. what did i just see? >> and then --
[ laughter ] >> i don't remember this! >> no, it wasn't like i was seeing everything. >> right. >> the room, it was dark, you know what i'm saying? it was silhouetted. >> that was your introduction. so what was your feeling about that? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! >> lock your doors! lock your doors! >> jimmy: lock the doors. >> lock those doors. jada pinkett smith, everybody! [ cheers and applaus] >> jimmy: congrats on everything, pal. check out her show "red table talk" now on facebook watch. we'll be right back with bryce dallas howard. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i was on the fence about changing from a manual to an electric toothbrush. but my hygienist said going electric could lead to way cleaner teeth. she said, get the one inspired by dentists, with a round brush head. go pro with oral-b. oral-b's gentle rounded brush head removes more plaque along the gum line. for cleaner teeth and healthier gums. and unlike sonicare, oral-b is the first electric toothbrush brand accepted by the ada
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[ chee applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ >> wow. >> jimmy: welcome back to the sh. you look gorgeous. >> thank you. >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> so good to see you, too.: >> jimngrats on another "jurassic world." i mean, "jurassic world" was the biggest thing like $1.9 gazillion dollars or something.ht [ la ] something crazy like -- >> just that, yeah. >> jimmy: it's like the fifth highest grossing film of all time. so it's a pretty good success. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations on that. >> it was awesome. but i think it had to do more with you than the dinosaurs honestly. j my: right? remember -- >> yes! >> jimmy: my cameo? >> your character. his cameo.do ou guys remember that? >> jimmy: my character. i love my character. [ cheers ] >> yes, your character. >> jimmy: i was going to say, "my cameo." >> your character. >> jimmy: did i have a a character? >> you playing jimmy fallon.
>> jimmy: i played melf. yeah. i play me all the time, man. >> you're so good at him. >> jimmy: thank you so much. >> oh, i really believe it. >> jimmy: i had years training. yeah. of course, that was me. a whole secret -- >> yes. >> jimmy: to the whole -- and that's why you got a cnce to do the second one. >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: "fallon kingdom." >> yes. [ laughter ] immy: that's just genius >> yes. >> jimmy: you should have thought of that for a second. i will say though it's exciting it's bigger. it's more action-packed. it's scarier. >> yes.>> immy: who is the director on this? >> j.a. bayona. >> jimmy: yeah. he did the -- what was i "the orphanage?" >> yeah. he did "the orphanage." he did "a monster calls", "the impossible." >> jimmy: no, no, no. i get scared too eve by saying those titles. [ laughter ] -- freak me out. but he's -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: so it's a mix of the jurassic stuff but also spooky stuff. >> yeah.wo >> jimmy: hod they -- how would the set be scary? how would he -- th well, i mean, he's kind of like -- he bringwhole spielbergian, intense like l. scary suspense but then, ultimately very poignant and emotional. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and meaningful. you know? so kind of what he brings to this franchise. and he wanted the acti to be
very real. we wanted it to seem really grounded. beuse, of course, we're dealing with a world, you know, where dinosaurs and human beings are co-existing. >>immy: yeah. >> so you don't want to make any other leaps basically. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. >> you want it to el real because the dinosaurs are not. and -- [ laughter ] spoiler. and so what he did was -- he would create all these situations where we as actors were actually going through this adventure. so fornstance, there is this whole sequence where myself andt an, justice smith is in a a gyrosphere, sans you, unfortunately. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't make it in the sequel. ye . >> jimmy: that's all right. it happens. >> huge loss. >> jimmy: yeah. >> our loss.my >> jmy paycheck is so high. [ laughter ] i mean you couldn't afford me to go "jurassic world -- >> indeed. >> jimmy: fallon kingdom." please. i'd force you to change the name, first of all. >> very true. very true. soe -- >> jimmy: but i'm up for the third one. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'll do whatever.ou whateverant me to do. i'm in, man. [ cheers and applause ]
i want to be in that movie with you. no, i'm cool. >> so, this gyrosphere -- >> jimmy: the gyrosphere. the ba. yeah. >> it falls. it falls off the cliff. you see one of those momentsah- >> jimmy: >> in the trailer. and j.a. bayona decided to have a llercoaster built. and they used your paycheck on [ laughter ]oaster. >> jimmy: you could have easily done a green screen and you go,n "aaaahhave a fan blowing. >> nope. >> jimmy: "whoaaa."op >> nope. >> jimmy: he had a a rollercoaster built? >> he built a roller: aster. >> jim show you? >> to show that we could experience zero g, zero gravity. >> jimmy: stop it. >> so we would actually fall faster than gravity something. i'm not a scientist. [ laughter ] >> jim: a scientist. >> a scientist. >> jimmy: i'm not a scientist. >> sentist. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. i loved it.wa >> and i-- yeah. and i floated. >> jimmy: did you do more than one take? >> we did so many takes. but wait, let me just tell you something. a i'm aid of rollercoasters.
>> jimmy: for real? >> rollercoasters are the bane of my existence. i am terrified. rrified. i don't know. i don't know. >> jimmy: you got to do "the tonight show" rollercoaster in orlando. it's a simulator. you'll be totally fine. [ laughter ]l it's not a rllercoaster. but it's really fun. >> i don't trust it. i don't trust any rollercoaster. >> jimmy: no, trust me. lo h at me. . [ laughter ] >> jimmy: look it me. don't blink. don't blink. [ laughter ] it's so fun. >> no, but it's so scary. >> jimmy: well -- - they said the same thing -- >> jimmy: let me s >> about this rollercoaster. >> jimmy: you -- >> they're like, "it's going to be fine." >> jimmy: you brought a video of your rollercoaster. let me s how scary it is. >> okay. so this is this rollercoaster. >> that's a little barrel of hay. it's going to protect us. don't totally understand the physics of it.>> h my god. ♪ [ laughter ]♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i was so scared. this is true.
i was so afraid that sm justich actually just reminded me of this a couple of e,ys ago. that with each tou know, you kind of -- normally with stunts, you get sort of more and more confident with ch take. with each take my panic increased. substantially. and by, like, the fifth or sixth take, you know, there's a much fear. and justice told m i remember this now, i was like, -- [ screaming ] and i blacked out. i went -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> and then, i -- it stopped. and then, i ki of came to. >> jimmy: it's like, "fantastic acting, bryce." >> yeah. >> jimmy: "you're a genius! [ cheers and applause ]st you were fan." >> it was crazy. >> jimmy: "we got it! we got it!" >> i passed out. >> jimmy: "you looked like yout were passed ere." >> yeah, "you were so afraid --" >> jimmy: "you were so realistic." >> "that you fainted." >> jimmy: what's happening in thing now in "jurassic world: fallen kingdom?" >> okay. so there is an extinction leveln event hag on isla nublar where all of the dinosaurs are. the park is done. park is gone. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the dinosaurs have been ift there stranded. and basically, thea
a debate going on. do we intervene with nature and save these dinosaurs, protect them like we would any other endangered specith or do we let die? do we let?my >> jbecause they are giant dinosaurs. >> evolution -- yeah. [ laughter ] take its course. exactly. so that's sortf the dilemma. and claire -- >> jimmy: interesting. >> wants to go to the island.i >> jimmynt to show everyone a clip. here is bryce dallas howard in "jurassic world: fallen kingdom." take a look at this. >> proximity alert. something's coming. >> where does that tunnel lead? >> well it connects to the rest of the -- park. >> claire, it's the t-rex. it's the t-rex. >> will you stop? it's not the t-rex. probably. >> probably? ♪ >> deep breaths, franklin.
[ screaming ] >> see? not a t-rex! >> how is this beyou know whater? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: bryce and i are doing something fun with "jurassic world" when we come back.ou stick , everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i'r to youmper, cause.... i don't think enough people heard about your big day. but nothing says "we got married" like a 12 ounce piece of scrap metal. yo! we got married! honk if you like joint assets. now you're so busy soaking up all this attention, you don't see the car in front of you. and if i can crash your "perfect day", imagine what i can do to the rest of 'em. so get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem.
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i would see it in imax because it's just a giant, fun -- >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's a beautifully shot movie. one of the many impressive thin of the "jurassic" movie is that how they create dinosaur roars. because no one really knows what dinaurs really sounded like. i mean, yeah. [ light laughter ] i mean, so -- sound designers, they recorded different animals, is what i heard. >> mm-hmm.an >> jimmythen they slowed them down, and then, they mixed them together to create the sounds that we hear in the movie. so, i thought that it would be fun if you and i try to create our own dinosaur roar right here tonight. and it's fairly easy to do. >> sure. >> jimmy: this app is called samplebot. okay, and i'm going to record us making animal sounds. as my guest, you're going to start us off. okay, i'll give you some animal sounds. we'll see -- are you ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: give me your best lion. one, two, three. [ roars ] [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> is th this the microphone?s >> jimmy: that doesn't matter. what, if that, or this -- that's almost liar a dinosaur
>> oh, good. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> good. >> jimmy: what do i have? pig. [ light laughter ][ orts ] [ applause ] >> that's good. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: not bad?t >> that's d. >> jimmy: i mean, yeah -- >> that's like a hog. >> jimmy: thank you. [ >>ght laughter ] eah. you're welcome. >> jimmy: it's so nice oyou. all right, give me a dolphin. ready? >> okay. >> jimmy: one -- do you have a a dolphin sound?n what is a dolpund? >> i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: okay, ready? one, two, three. [ dolphin sounds ] l me do it again. let me do it again. >> jimmy: no -- >> i don't get it.t lookat, little empty part. >> jimmy: no, no, that was perfect. that -- dolphins breathe. >> okay, fine. [ light laugoker ] >> jimmy. cow. a cow. they wouldn't use a cow sound, would they? >> yes. >> jimmy: they would? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay, here's a cow. moo, moo, moo. [ light laughter ] all ght. oh, give me a cat sound.
one, two, three. [ yowls ] >> jimmy: yeah.rs [ chnd applause ] unbelievable. >> i have never done that before. >> jimmy: when you see the show bau're going to freak out. >> really? >> jimmy: you just did a a fantastic cat, that was unbelievable. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was so much better than my cht. [ light la ] all right. a whale. i have to do a whale. a whale? >> i mean, what's the sound in the water? >> jimmy: okay. a whale.[ king whale noises ] >> jimmy: isn't it like that? [ making whale noises ] >> i don't know. i'm not -- i don't know. [ light laughter ]ve i o idea. >> jimmy: oh, man. well, all right. all right. now, i'll see what these sound like if we change the pitch, okay? so here's your lion if we make lower, ready? [ roar ]
>> jimmy: that came out of this little person right here. >> really bad indigestion. >> jimmy: here's the pig. [ snort ] wow, this is great.e. >> impress >> jimmy: a dolphin. a cow. [ moo ] >> that actually works.a >> jimmyt. [ yowl ] i love that. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ [ air horn ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome ba" to the "todow, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] wrap it up, fallon! all right, finally, the whale. a realistic whale sounds like this.
[ whale sound ] [ laughter and applause ] all right. i think if we play them at the same time we'll get an authentic roar just tap it, ready? you do those three, i'll do those three at the same time. >> wait, okay. jimmy: one, two, three. [ all noises ] okay. [ laughter ] they might use it.ke let's t to the next level. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay, let's see what would happen if we put our dinosaur roar in your new movie "jurassic world: fallen kingdom." >> sur >> jimmy: ready, let's take a a look. ♪ [ all noises ] >> jimmy: we did it! bryce dallas howard. "jurassic world: fallen kingdom" is in theaters and imax june 22nd. we'll be right back with stand-up from nikki glaser. stick around! [ cheers and appuse ] ♪ sometimes a day at the ballpark
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for quality of life. my psa iunder control. ctca gave me an opportunity to accomplish my goals and my dreams. learn more at cancercenter.com/philadelphia appointments available now. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is the host of "you up with nikki glaser" weekday mornings on sirius xm channel 95. please welcome the very funny nikki glaser, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hey, guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you. oh, thank you.
this is so exciting. okay, so i'm currently in ck with ions to get my ex-boyfriend. thank you. [ laughter ] we have broken up seven times in five years. so i have no friends left. [ laughter ] and so if anyone wts to, like, hang out after the show and just read through -- [ chrs ] really? i would love for that. i just need you to read through a couple texts frohim just to give me some perspective. i need some fresh eyes on these things. [ lighlaughter ] so it won't take long. i'll choose one of you and quickly airdrop 30 t 1,000 screen shots of text conversations between us. hat's all that's in my phone. i hope you like reading blue. i'm not doing well in these conversations. [ laughter ] that's all that's in my phone. [ applause ] texts between me and men who will never love me, and naked pictures. i send those. and i shouldn't. i shouldn't. the cloud is not secure. but, like, neitherm i.
and i need -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] -- constant validaon. i don't put my face in the pictures though. mostly because he as w for them th. but also -- [ laughter ] smart. i -- yeah. when you get back together with your ex, youfriends get so mad. they're like, "don't settle, nikki. you should never settle. never settle."m ke, "never? okay, what if the pilgrims didn't settle, okay?" [ laughter ]an god they did. i don't get back with him weak.se i' i really don't. it's like, i just date someone new and then i look back at himl and i e, "oh, he was the best i can do." like i can't -- [ laughter ] get better. he was so hot. so hot. short. th's how i got him. he's short. [ light laughter ] that's my little secret, ladies. [ laughter ] you can get such a hot guy if he's short. okay?on discount [ laughter ] like, so smart.
and if you're sitting in a a picture with him, people don't know. they're just like, "whtt, glaser is g out of her league." like -- [ laughter ] and then you -- [ cheers ] yeah. thank you. eventually they know though because there is a picture of whe you're standing next t him. and they're like, "oh, someone went digging in the bargain bin. [ laughter ] that's a tiny guy." i don't mind a tiny guy. and society tells us as women that our boyfriends are supposed to be bigger than us. 'cause fashion, you know? boyfriend jeans. you know when their boriend and you're like, "they're my boyfriend's. and i stole them. and they're big on me. d he's so big. and i'm little. can you tell? boyfriend. [ laught ] i have a boyfriend. and these are his. and they're my p.j.s now." [ lauger ] and it's just like, "i have never had that." my boyfriends' jeans -- these are them.ug [ er and applause ] thank you.
it's true. it's true. oh, i am just -- i'm so hausted being single. it's so much upkeep. i have to wear makeup all the time. like during the day. i used to go out during the day in my 20s without make and i was like, "you know what, if i meet the man i'm meant to be with he'll, like, see me for me." i'm 34 now and i'm like, "bitch, wear your mask." [ laughter ] every day is halween for you. [ applause ] trick or treat? no, trick a man into loving you or die alone. [ light laughter ] oh, this is a lie.ok , guys. let me tell you what i'm doing up here. okay, i'm doing contouring. that's where you draw shadows on your face to make it look like you have bone structure you don't have. [ light laughter ] and then on top of that i do like a dewy shimmer so it looks like i may have woken up in a a meadow earlier today.ug [ light er ] you don't know. you don't know where i sleep. [ laughter ] that's the look now. dewy.
everybody supposed to look dewy. that's not good! that means you have dew on you. that means you have been left out overnigh[ somewhere. ughter and applause ] not good. every time i complain about makeup, i always have one guy that's like, "you ow what? honestly like a lady without makeup. i like a natural look. i really do." and i'm men."oh, you like that's cool you know about you." [ laughter ] that's what i look like without makeup. i look like a man. and i'm not insulting myself saying that. i kind of, like, love the guy i look like. [ laughter ] like, he's kinof a cool guy. you would like him. he's like a hard-working american man, but like, he lets loose. he -- oh, my god. i'm the type of guy without makeup that organizes y bike rides across the country. and you go, "how does e time for this?" and it's like, he doesn't. w makes time. like that's who i hout makeup. [ laughter and applause ] you seriously would love him. mand if you date me, you't him.
you will meet him eventually. two weeks in. one morning you'll roll over and i'll just be like, "hey, man, i'm tucker. nice to meet you. [ laughter ] thanks for letting me crash last night.fu my girl ha she'll be back." [ cheers and applause ] thanks, guys. ve been tucker. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: unbelievable, pal! nikki glaser right there! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more from nikki. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. ?ikki glaser once again. how great was th [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you!ly >> jimmy: oly. i love seeing you do stand-up. thank you so much. me man, it means so much t to hear you say that. because i don't know that you know this. you were the first stand-up comedian i ever saw. i was obsessed with you in high school.t [ liughter ] obsessed with you. my senior year of high school, my best friends knew this. they found out that you were performing at a college in the middle of missouri, from st. louis where i lived. [ cheers ] so they surprised me and they said, "we'reoing to a a surprise in kirksville, missouri." which, what could that be? t like a p dancing? [ laughter ] like, what happens --? i was like, okay. they blindfolded me. we drive there. it's a long time to be blindfolded. [ light laughter ] we're 20 minutes in, ithe drive-thru and i'm like, "i'll take the two, i think." [ laughter ]"t they're likee it off.
it's jimmy fallon." i'm like, "what?!" and it was awesome. i'm front row. okay, i've met you before. so front row, you're about to t stbit about what it's like to be a freshman in college. do you remember this? and you're sing, "everything is tiny. they don't trust you with big things." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: wow. >> i loved the bit. it stuck with me.we you re like, "you know, your dorm room is small." do you remember the bit? >> jimmy: yeah, i said that everythiev is small. the fridge is small. >> yeah, the fridge. and then -- >> jimmy: and then the little ice cube tray. >> the littlghice cubes! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that only fits in that little tiny freezer. >> yes! [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: like, "you guys want some ice cubes? here's a tweezer. let's get out some ice cubes." [ light laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, that's an old bit. k w. >> it's st you know when you hear a bit and you're like, "that will remain with me forever?" that was the one. but, leading into the bit, you wanted some kind of like, validation that that's the freshman experience. so you looked to the front row.h i'e. and you go, "are you a a freshman?" and i lied to you, jimmy. [ laughter ] and it's so -- i said yes.i ansn't. and i just -- it's crazy that i'm here right now 'cause i'm t like, "oh, i jnt to tell you that -- i want to like redo that moment, but like tell you the truth."
so will like, you ask me again? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ye. >> i want to redo it. because i just felt -- i felt weird having this lie between us. okay. okay. >> jimmy: you -- are you a a freshman? >> no. a sophomore. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! now you're gonna redeem yburself. nikki glaser, evy! [ cheers and applause ] for tours and dates, check out nikkiglaser.com. and her radio show is available daily on sirius xm channel 95. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to jada pinkett smith, bryce dallas howard, nikki glaser. i love that you came up to me. [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia. [ chrs and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. use-bye, everybody. [ cheers and app] ♪
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- mike myers, star of "glow" actress alison brie, music from kacey musgraves, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ chee and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, th eyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm ses meyers! thisate night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] in that case, let's get to the news.st before wt our monologue, the news this week, incredibly depressing. j t for us tonight, in the monologue, we're not going to mention the president. we're not even going to say his name. we're just going to talk about other things.