and now, look out, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us right here on a special night. you join us on what is hands down our wettest show of the year. our most beloved summer tradition happens tonight. directly behind our theater we have erected this beautiful above-ground swimming pool. it cost us more than $40 million to build this. and it was worth every penny. [ laughter ] because tonight we're going to grab random people off the street, ask them to disrobe and do a belly flop on television for you. it is our 11th annual -- [ cheers and applause ] it started back in 2006. and from time to time people ask me why a belly flop contest every year? and to those people i say, mom, go to bed, we're doing this. [ laughter ] my cousin sal is out on hollywood boulevard right now. bellies and hopeful floppers there? >> oh, we've got some big ones, some flat ones. we've got everything for you. >> jimmy: good. let's meet some of the

>> jimmy: looks like a boom box. >> jimmy: how many? >> 50. >> jimmy: 50 fish in the aquarium? 50 fishies. >> jimmy: you get more in there. >> you don't want to do the most. it's already obnoxious having a big boom box right when you walk in the door. 50 is over the top. >> jimmy: when you bring a date home this is the first thing they see? >> trying to get me caught up, i see what you're doing. actually, no, we walk in through the garage. you see that hallway. the laundry room to the left. unless i'm going to wash clothe. we come in through the back -- >> jimmy: go right up to the bedroom? >> yeah. no, no -- [ cheers and applause ] no, no! not up to the bedroom. you got me, you got me. i was going to say upstairs. >> jimmy: come upstairs, there's nothing interesting other than a nine-foot fish tank. does it play music? >> a lot of country music, actually. >> jimmy: the fish tank plays country music? can you reprogram it or is that what youan suddenly cuts off, or i cut it off. it's all the same. no one wants to play country music. >> jimmy: what artists are you into? >> luke b

and now, what else is new, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] we have -- we have so much to get to tonight. starting -- we are going to start tonight with the nba draft, which is taking place right now at barclays center in brooklyn, new york. the nba draft is i think the most interesting draft in sports. and it's important because it helps to decide which teams the players will be on when they lose to the golden state warriors next year. [ laughter ] with the number one pick the philadelphia 76ers chose markelle fultz. he is a great point guard from the university of washington up in seattle. he also just happens to be with our very own guillermo right now via -- [ cheers and applause ] the cisco stream. hi, markelle. congratulations. >> how are you doing? i'm doing good. thank you. >> jimmy: you're welcome. you're going to philadelphia. my first question is cheesesteak related. which do you like? pat's or geno's? because if you're going t

>> jimmy: take a look at this. ♪ >> jimmy: all right, come on. hey. [ applause ] i mean, have some respect. that's the president of the united states. >> steve: come on. what's going on? >> jimmy: and we're still getting to know trump's new communications director anthony scaramucci. [ light laughter ] i saw his friends like to call him "the mooch." [ light laughter ] when trump heard that, he's like, "great, now what am i going to call don jr. and eric? [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: i saw that this week democrats announced their new slogan. "a better deal, better jobs, better wages, better future." and republicans announced their new slogan, "shorter slogan." [ laughter and applause ] that what they -- it's too long. that's too long. this is kind of interesting. a new study found that procrastination might be genetic. [ audience oohs ] i asked my mom if that was true and she's like, "yeah, i meant to tell you that 20 years ago." sorry, hun. yeah, it is. it's true. earlier tonight." that's a great show and it's -- [ cheers an

. >> jimmy: again? >> senior airman. >> jimmy: se -- or oh -- sorry. >> senior airman. >> jimmy: senior airman. [ light laughter ] see, this is why you don't want me. senior airman. i thought it was like salmon airman. [ laughter ] i thought you were just saying a -- sorry. thought it was a name i didn't hear before. all right, hatcher, of course. hatcher from air force. where are you from originally? >> waldorf, maryland. >> jimmy: you're from waldorf, maryland. [ light laughter ] you don't know each other. please. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, you're here in new york city for a few days. what's your favorite thing to do in new york? >> eat. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: really? you're so small. where are you eating? anywhere good? >> i believe it's h and b burger? >> jimmy: no, i don't know h and b burger. really? quest, do you know h and b burger. >> questlove: i never heard of it. >> jimmy: yeah. wow. all right. you guys taught us about something. all right, h and b burger. [ laughter ] never hear

>> jimmy: stud. with his sons and they go around like kind of solving mysteries and debunking mysteries like a real -- >> like "scooby doo?" >> yeah, but it's a reality "scooby doo" thing, kind of. abd apparently he says he saw big foot. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you didn't hear that? you didn't read that? >> steve: i read it, but i don't know what to make of it. >> jimmy: yeah, he says that he saw big foot. he's going to talk about that and maybe bring a clip of something. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: you'll see for yourself. i don't know. >> steve: yeah, you judge. >> jimmy: i don't know, he's the one that experienced it, i didn't do it. i bet you he did. >> steve: why would he lie? well, who -- he's not michael, he's not going to race a a shark -- >> jimmy: if i was big foot i would want to meet rob lowe. he's awesome. >> steve: yeah, i'd like to meet rob -- >> jimmy: we're going to catch with him and then rob and his sons are going to compete in a a game -- a new game called, "the best son challenge."

>> jimmy: no. i know. what do you do? >> i can say it, if you like. i can say it. get down. get down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's it? i didn't think about that. that was great. [ laughter ] you got the part! but did you know if you're supposed to be an american or -- >> oh, i did not know anything. honestly, i just got the sides. did the audition. zach is a wonderful man. we sets -- i did the audition. it went great. went back to israel to shoot an israeli movie and i didn't know if i want to -- wanted to continue acting afterwards. anyway, i'm in israel, i get a a phone call. they tell me that they wanted to do a camera test. i'm like, again. camera test. again another, almost almost. >> jimmy: right. so you're ready to -- >> and then like, okay. whatever. what am i being tested for? what's the part? and then my agent goes, they didn't tell you? i'm like, no. so no one knows what am i -- >> jimmy: yeah, what am i gonna be? am i -- >> what's the big deal? >> jimmy: what am i? yeah, who am i?

>> jimmy: yes! oh my god, that's the worst. >> or oh, baby! >> jimmy: oh, yeah. do it for every hand. >> do you have a -- what is your poker face like? >> jimmy: i'm not good at poker facing, or lying. i can't do it. if i get a thing, i give it away. i sweat. [ light laughter ] it's not fun, it's a physical sport, yeah, for me. >> it's hard. and it's a lot of pressure. >> jimmy: a lot of pressure and i sweat a lot. >> and then everyone's into the rules, and if you bet on the wrong thing and you bet too much. they're like "why did you make that bet"? i'm like, "i don't know. i don't know how to play." >> jimmy: i don't know, man. i'm having fun. i'm not a professional gambler. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. do you have a gambling story? >> actually, i do, i do have a a gambling story. >> jimmy: you do? >> do you want to hear my gambling story or did you want to --? [ cheers and applause ] i actually have a great gambling story, when before i got to "saturday night live" and kind of bumming around l.a. with

. >> jimmy: right? we're like -- >> it was nice. >> jimmy: our dressing rooms were right next to each other. i totally enjoyed it. you were great in sketches as well. you did sketches, which you didn't have to do. [ cheers ] you helped me with the party at my parent's house. >> that was my first war movie. >> jimmy: yeah, it was yeah first one is -- >> that was a good one. ♪ oh oh oh oh party at my parents house ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, it was good. [ cheers and applause ] i'm available to open for you on tour as well. >> i appreciate it. i'll be next door. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess, yeah. >> next door in september. >> jimmy: you will? >> yeah. >> jimmy: at radio city. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're doing radio city music hall? [ cheers ] >> i'm very excited for that. >> jimmy: are you excited about doing the big tour again? >> i am. yeah, i love performing, it's my favorite part of working in music. >> jimmy: that's just going to be so exciting. you're doing madison square garden. you're just doing the whole wor

>> jimmy: okay. [ buzzer ] >> we want to cut a deal. >> jimmy: okay. let's cut a deal. >> i give you immunity and relocate. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you think? [ drum roll ] truth or a lie? >> i think it's total bs. >> yeah, i agree. it's a lie. >> yes. >> i don't buy it. >> jimmy: it's a total lie. she's very professional. she would never do that. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> horrible liar. that means you're good man. >> jimmy: i'm really bad at -- i'm a bad liar. all right. kate, it is your turn. i will choose the envelope. to me, you are a number one. >> oh, bless you. [ light laughter ] oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: that's what's in the cup. >> wait. >> i know. i drank it. >> jimmy: certainly did. >> i once snuck into a zoo after hours. [ light laughter ] >> why would you want to sneak into a zoo, to see a certain animal? >> yes. >> you have a thing for zoos or were you just being rebellious? >> i enjoy a zoo. >> jimmy: do you -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do you live close to a zoo. >> no. >> jimmy: so you had to travel to get there. >> oh,

>> jimmy: yeah. finally, i saw that anne hathaway is in talks to star in the upcoming "barbie" movie. she'll have to say goodbye to her brown hair for the roll. while the actor playing ken will have to say goodbye to something else. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have got a great show tonight. >> steve: i love this! >> jimmy: so much fun on the show tonight. he is a super bowl champion and the host of abc's "$100,000 pyramid." michael strahan is on the show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmych >> steve: a delight! >> jimmy: he's a stud. i love that guy. also joining us tonight, she's the star of the very funny bravo series "odd mom out." jill kargman is stopping by. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's super funny. >> steve: yeah, great. >> jimmy: and we got great music tonight from slayer! >> steve: what? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're her

>> jimmy: this is nice. i read about a 91-year-old airline mechanic who still works on planes at jfk airport. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] passengers said, "it's a great story as long as he didn't work on their plane." [ applause ] stay away. "i'll fix the engine!" okay, all right. [ light laughter ] just get him out of here. listen to this, you guys. i read that some battery-powered fidget spinners are exploding and catching fire. [ laughter ] on the plus side, they definitely cut down on fidgeting. because, then -- now they're just -- [ applause ] and mercedes -- mercedes just announced that they are launching a luxury pickup truck. [ light laughter ] mercedes says it will be the most rugged midlife crisis car on the market. yeah, it'll be -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: so good. >> jimmy: and finally, this made me laugh. it just came out that the wife of the japanese prime minister may have pretended not to speak english to avoid talking to trump at the g-20 summit -- [ laughter ] when as

>> jimmy: of course. >> amy fisher, amy fisher. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i think it would be fun if we did a then and now of just pictures that i have of you. >> great. >> jimmy: and just -- >> i'm scared. >> jimmy: this is your bar mitzvah. >> so bad. you know what, nothing says awkward teenage years more than these transition lenses, reading the torah. what is not awkward about that photo? >> jimmy: why the transition lenses? >> thank you to evelyn cohen who forced me into those. and they hadn't crafted them correctly. it is not sunny in the synagogue. >> jimmy: clearly it was a a little bright-- it was a a little bright. >> yeah, i guess so. >> jimmy: 'cause if it was dark it would just be clear. >> allegedly. >> jimmy: yeah. all right. how about this one here? this one i just -- >> oh, my god, this is so bad. i'm -- okay. i'm sitting on jim morrison's grave. i'm 20-years-old. i am attempting to smoke. i'm wearing essentially hammer pants, which i wore because i do remember that my butt used to look very good in this particular pair of very baggy pants. and a p

>> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: did you get that today? >> guillermo: yes, today early. >> jimmy: yesterday. >> guillermo: no, today. >> jimmy: you got them today. >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: why did you say yesterday? >> guillermo: because i thought it was 12:00 before midnight. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the thing about geimo is he's fun but he's not stupid, right? >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: so that's all tomorrow night on the show. no professional quarterback has thrown for more yards, completed more touchdowns or eaten more papa john's pizza than our first guest tonight. he is a two-time super bowl champion and five-time nfl mvp. tomorrow night he hosts the 25th annual espys here on abc. please welcome peyton manning. [ cheers and applause ] >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] boy, i'll tell you, you -- i want to point something out. this is one of our camera guys, chris. he's -- yeah, there you go. that's chris right there. >> that's not every day he wea

>> jimmy: no! that was one of the most disgusting things. [ buzzing ] [ laughter and applause ] the roots won't even look at me. the roots won't even look at me. questlove won't even look at me right now. so, gross. all right, for just -- just for the record, how many things did -- did hotdog? >> just the first one. >> jimmy: right, just the first one hot-dogged. this last one was a total, total nightmare. >> but now we know. >> yeah, yeah. >> and that's all that matters. >> yeah, now you don't have to do this. >> jimmy: see, that's why i love you guys. [ light laughter ] that's why you guys exist. my thanks to rhett and link. [ cheers and applause ] check out "good mystical morning" every weekday on youtube. more with rhett and link when we come back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's going on here? um... i'm babysitting. that'll be $50 bucks. you said $30. yeah, well it was $30 before my fees, like the pizza-ordering fee and the dog-sitting fee... and the rummage through your closet f

>> jimmy: i did, yeah. i mentioned it. >> because i just watched it last night. >> jimmy: it was actually a good while ago. i don't want to ruin anything for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know i know you're from the bay area. >> i am. >> jimmy: the nba finals are also over. >> that i watched. >> jimmy: and your golden state warriors won the nba finals. >> yes. yes. yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you a big fan? >> i'm a huge warriors fan. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and look. i know it sucks for everyone else. like no one from the bay is like yeah, it's fair! we're just like the warriors were bad for so long. and i watched the warriors my whole life. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and like really watched them. i've been a fan for a long time. and now it's like, we watched them get beat down by shaq and kobe. beat down by the spurs with all their all-stars and stuff. it's like, now it's our turn not to be embarrassed. >> jimmy: to beat people down. people do get upset about it not being fair but there's not a team in

>> jimmy: no. just one crazy guy doing it, has nothing to do with the show. >> they'd give me pencil and partner and i would try to write things down to communicate. a nurse came in and somehow i communicated, i have something very important to tell you or something. she's waiting. and i'm writing. writing down. and i don't remember this at all. but apparently i just wrote, "do you live with your mother?" and a picture of a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i know this is on abc, this is probably blurred out because of so much [ bleep ]. if i say, is this a [ bleep ] or is this a finger? is this asparagus? it is asparagus, unblur it, it's asparagus. >> jimmy: how did she react to this question? >> i just looked at my hair and it doesn't look how i imagined. >> jimmy: i told you that a million times. >> okay. >> jimmy: you came through it. is there any danger now that it will recur? >> no. >> jimmy: no, okay, good. >> i did like have you worried a little bit. >> jimmy: i was worried

. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. for "mr. mom." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that seems like an odd choice. >> yeah, yeah. yeah i mean -- i don't know. it was a choice, it didn't really work. and then for "pacific heights" i killed a guy. >> jimmy: you did? [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: just one guy? >> yeah. and i killed another guy for another movie. >> jimmy: you did? how did you do it? >> i stayed in his apartment, i wouldn't leave. do you know the movie? you know the plot? yeah. so i wouldn't leave. then he goes like -- he comes to my house for like the sixth time, goes where's my rent, dude? and i just shoot him. >> jimmy: that's serious. >> sorry, that's horrible. >> jimmy: that's real acting. >> i know. no, i -- sometimes you do if it's appropriate. and sometimes there's no need. "spotlight," for instance. that's one where you -- i'd done -- i'd been a journalist in movies like three times. i actually kind of wanted to be a journalist when i was in school. and so for me that stuff comes kind of naturally. there was really

>> jimmy: i'm serious. come on. >> it was awesome. >> we're talking billions now? >> it was awesome. >> that's just the craziest thing ever. >> thank you guys for that support. it really means a lot. >> jimmy: wow, you're great on screen. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jimmy: lift a dude up sideways. come on, you know it. >> lift him up sideways. >> jimmy: you know how you got to -- >> i redirected a torpedo with my bare hands. >> jimmy: yes. [ cheers ] that's what you got to do. >> yes. >> jimmy: then you come out -- look. look at this is magazine cover. so this is like -- >> ahh, there you go. >> jimmy: you did the cover -- [ cheers ] it's a combination of the rock right there. i got say this photo shoot in this is unbelievable. no one does it like you. >> yeah. well, thank you. >> jimmy: you put some work into it. there's got to be 30 setups of different shoots here. >> sexy! [ cheers ] >> yep. >> jimmy: sexy there. that's another one. i mean -- >> there was -- yes. there -- [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i mean it

>> jimmy: no. >> come on. >> jimmy: no i don't. >> you have that pavarotti look. >> jimmy: it's white. how coy color -- >> just wait. so they put -- i had these two black areas so i looked like a mannequin. i looked like i had a puppeteer's mouth. hi, how are you? how are you? [ laughter ] one of those guys. so they took a silver magic marker and colored the two areas of black. >> jimmy: who did this to you? >> the makeup people. >> jimmy: okay. >> and the smell of the magic marker, first of all, i smelled like a science project. [ laughter ] and then i'd just finished sneezing. that's why i'm a little hoarse. i go all the time. since i was a kid. >> jimmy: you got a lot of weird stuff going on. you really do. >> yeah, i'm allergic to different kinds of chocolate. >> jimmy: actual chocolate, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's something you can be allergic to? >> one doctor said it was like a chemical reaction, it wasn't an allergy. but this started when i was a little kid. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. histamines would hit me and -- my neck gets red. my ears get red. and then i once sneez

yeah, we're going to get jimmy, i'm trying to get jimmy to be an intern. that might be a good -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: intern? why don't you just have me write something for it. >> unpaid intern. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like lamest thing ever. i think you just never got over the fact that i won the golf tournament. the derek jeter turn 2 foundation golf tournament -- >> we have no proof of that, do we? [ light laughter ] it's just hearsay. >> jimmy: it's a memory engraved -- you are still doing it, right? you just did one -- >> i just did it in vegas. we had the tournament down in tampa for about ten years where you came down and we moved it out to las vegas, at shadow creek. >> jimmy: i noticed that, yeah. >> it's a fun -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: once i started coming, you moved -- >> we moved the tournament. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i -- i won the tournaments. i won your golf tournament. i am the champ. i'm the winner. [ cheers and applause ] they should retire my jersey! was i wearing a jersey. >> it's handicap adjusted is the best way to put it

. >> jimmy: and now it was just announced. >> jimmy, it starts there. >> jimmy: it starts there. >> it started there. >> jimmy: it started right there. >> you lit the fire and i kicked the tires. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: is it happening? >> it's happening. >> jimmy: "top gun." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ "top gun!" >> god help us. >> jimmy: maverick. >> maverick. >> jimmy: i'm freaking out. >> i know. >> jimmy: i'm already freaking out. >> i know, i know. >> jimmy: "top gun" maverick is happening. >> i know, i know, i'm freaking out, too. >> jimmy: and this is like it's -- and this is -- >> it's exciting. it's joe kosinski and jerry bruckheimer, i can't wait to work with him. he's one of the greatest producers in movie history. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> did the first one and we finally figured out the story and it's really exciting. >> jimmy: and it's far down the line? i mean it's -- >> it's far down the line. there's no turning back at this point. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the danger zone. >> i can't wait. >> jimmy: the danger zone. i know, i can't wait either. highw

biggest fan. >> the jimmy camel show. >> "jimmy camel live" starts right now. >> the streets of hollywood. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- curtis "50 cent" jackson. rock climber alex honnold. and music from tlc featuring snoop dogg. and now, if it's all right with you, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for being so great about everything. that's very nice. [ cheers ] let me ask you something. i don't know. maybe it's just me. does anybody feel a little bit lighter today like some weight maybe has been lifted off of your body? [ cheers ] well, president trump is out of the country today. [ cheers and applause ] he is coming back. so calm down. the president and the first lady arrived in paris today at the invitation of french president emmanuel macron. there they are together. last time they had a handshake it lasted longer than like two of trump's marriages. [ laughter ] so all eyes were on this one. it went without incident. there was one uncomfortable moment later

>> jimmy: just the one time. >> hi, james. how did you enjoy your hummus? >> jimmy: jimmy. and it was fine. it was good. >> how fine was it? on a scale of 1 to 5 stars? >> jimmy: 4 i would say. >> you know, people who bought that hummus also enjoyed our tzatziki dip and our triple a batteries. would you like to add those to your cart? >> jimmy: i don't really need batteries -- >> here's what one customer had to say about that hummus. >> it's too salty. [ laughter ] i like the old hummus. it was creamier, and you didn't have to mix the oil in with a spoon. >> jimmy: okay. you know, i don't really need all this extra information. i just wanted -- >> would you like to sign up for whole foods prime? it's $600. along with your hummus you'll get a free streaming service from the duplass brothers. >> jimmy: i'd like just to take the hummus although i don't see any hummus on your table. >> here comes a hummus drone. ♪ >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] this is a terrible idea. thank you very much. >> that's actually our slogan. amazon whole foods. "a terrible idea." >> jimmy: oh. [ chee

his name is jimmy. he personally packaged the meat in january for a guy named jimbo williams, who is the owner of williams land service, which is 20 miles from arcadia. we also spoke to jimbo. he remembers picking the meet up from fussel but has no idea how it got on your roof. it was six months ago. he did say he would drive over there with more meat if you want to have a cookout or something. >> we're ready. let's do it. [ applause ] >> jimmy: have you spoken to the faa? or anything like that? did you call like the local -- do you have planes flying over your house in general? >> well, just the normal pattern. >> not at night like usually not. >> jimmy: do you know that saying, when pigs fly? maybe that's what happened. >> that's the closest i'll ever come. >> jimmy: and do you all live in the house? are you fearing for your safety or your lives? anything like that? >> i'll be looking up a lot more nowadays. i'll tell you that. >> jimmy: well, thank you for sharing this unbelievable story. if you find

but -- >> jimmy: right. you should get a little something. [ applause ] put the picture up on the wall. because this is -- what's going on here? this is -- >> double xl. after we did "24/7" for one of the boxing matches. >> jimmy: what's it called again? money phone or something? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: money phone. >> you know how the old school cell phones looked. >> jimmy: yeah, the big brick phone. >> yeah. that's what it look like when you've got a little paper. >> jimmy: you started this and then people started duplicating this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how much money do you need -- how much cash is in your hands? >> if it's hundreds you need like $50,000. but if it's 20s you can fake it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would have 100 on one end, 100 on the other end and your grandfather's $1 bills in the -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's the way to go i think. guillermo and i do a similar thing to this actually. put that picture up. we sometimes -- [ cheers and applause ] we call each other with american cheese

and now, moving on, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. those of you who have babies at home or abroad know that a lot of stuff comes with them. we have so much stuff at my house. to be honest, i don't know what half of this stuff does. what i do is every item in this stroller has a terrible name, and it's starting to drive me nuts. like this. this is a wubenub. it's a pacifier with a little like dead animal at the end. [ laughter ] my daughter calls it a wubby. and now i have to say the word wubby ten times a day. as if that's a thing. there's also -- we have one of these. this is a bumbo. this is to help the baby-sit upright. in case you take it to benihana or something i guess. [ laughter ] when my wife was pregnant, she slept with one of these. this is a snoogle. it's like a -- i don't know why they call it a snoogle. i guess it's like snuggle and goo goo i guess. but it's a pillow for your underparts. you put it like -- [ laughter ] you mount it and then you -- [ cheers and applause ] very dirty in a way. i d

and now, after all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] oh, that's very nice. we are back to work after a two-week break. i got to tell you something, i try to have fun on vacation but then right in the middle of it i'm having a perfectly nice vacation and right in the middle of it rob kardashian and blac chyna break up. and just like that -- [ laughter ] guillermo, you thought they were going to make it, didn't you? >> guillermo: yeah, they're done. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry you had to find out this way. >> guillermo: it's craze xwrip. >> jimmy: it is crazy. hey i heard you went to disneyland. >> guillermo: yeah, for three days with my son. >> of fun. >> jimmy: you know you used to go on vacation and people would want to hear about it but now we have instagram and facebook. everybody already knows everything you did. this morning i said we went up to jackson hole and she said yeah i know your wife posted it on instagram. [ laughter ] i w

be careful. >> jimmy: wow! so we pulled up to the swamp tour. >> jimmy: i almost forgot about the swamp tour. that's right. there's a swamp tour. >> yeah. so we pull up. a lot of white people. a lot. >> jimmy: they're the worst. >> no. they're the best. you know i'm white paper. >> jimmy: so you pull up and there's white people in the swamp. >> a lot of white people in the swamp. a vacation swamp tour. why are there so many? i said they probably all have groupons. and she said tiffany, what [ bleep ] is a groupon? >> jimmy: oh, wow! she didn't know. >> and i said what do you think a groupon is? i thought it meant that you had a bus that you could take a lot of people on. i was like, jada, i got a $20 a day rental. why would i have my own boat? i have a discount toikt get on the swamp. we're about to have $66 worth of fun, girl. >> jimmy: so did she -- did she go? >> so she was complaining. i don't want to. this is going to be crazy. i said you and me. i'm from south central los angeles. nobody is going to mess

jimmy: that's french. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: mom knew! okay, here's how the game works. pick questions. >> oh, boy. >> steve: that range from 10 to 50 points. you're going to answer any one in any order. the higher the points get, the harder the questions are. >> jimmy: and whoever -- this is the weird part, whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins. >> oh. that's weird. >> steve: it's up to amy and jimmy to answer your questions. you can ask your partner for help. but you can only -- >> jimmy: i don't think i'll need it, i kind of know all this. >> steve: you can only ask them once. alright, amy, you're up first. what would the category be? >> well, thank you for asking, steve. i'm going to go, you know what, i always like to go towards what scares me. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, i'm going to pick math. >> steve: oh, math for 10. and the question is, if you have nine pizzas -- >> oh, god. [ light laughter ] >> steve: -- and each one of them is cut into eight slices, how many slices do you have? >> nine pizzas. [ clock ticking ]

different, jimmy. first fall in really i guess 27 years that i wasn't playing football of some sort in the fall. but it was different. but it was good. i was very much at peace with it the entire time. a lot of people told me you're going to feel anxious, don't be around football. and that just wasn't true. i went to a lot of games. but september was different. you know, when the season started being played, i had kind of an interesting month of september. i dropped my kids off at kindergarten for the very first time at school. that was big to me. >> jimmy: that is big. >> i moved into an office. i don't know what i do there. but i -- [ laughter ] i have an office. that was important. you've got to have an office. but the big move was i joined a health club, jimmy, for the first time. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. you play football you work out at facility all the time. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> that was a big move.f e mont by the way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] so

. >> jimmy: your first time. >> yep. >> jimmy: what have you been doing? what's been on the agenda since you've been here? >> everything she wants to do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really? and they happen easily. the other side of this... is they can be removed... easily. spray and wash's... powerful formula... removes over 100 stains. spray and wash. better on over 100 stains. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. we have have a interesting guest on the show tonight. he's a rock climber. he might be the first rock climber we've had on the show. his name is alex honnold. alex is what they call a free -- that's him. see that little speck of orange? that's alex. he has safety equipment. he's just got a shirt, pants, a little bag of chalk and a pair of shoes. he's the only person to climb the el capitan in yosemite without a rope. 3,000 feet tall. that's almost as high as snoop is backstage right now. [ laughter ] very high. [ applause ] this is the number one album. it's called tlc. tlc with snoop dogg from the mercedes-be

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. that's very kind. i appreciate it. i hope -- well, the dads in our audience, i hope your families came through for you yesterday. did they come through for you? no. they never do, do they! [ laughter ] i had a good father's day. the best part of father's day, i know this is going to sound weird, but for met best part of father's day was when my wife forgot to give me a card. i will get a lot of mileage out of this. she said she got it and wrote it and forgot to bring it home. which is what i say every time i forget to give her a card. only i am lying when i say it. [ laughter ] so this was good news for me. i don't know know if we should have cards for father's day. okay. so you know, cards for mother's day are very sweet. they have flowers on them, they have nice messages in them. father's day cards, these are real father's day cards. they fit into four major categories. golf, fishing, barbecue, beer. [ laughter ] and beer. and beer. and bee