jimmy kimmel made sure i'm on jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: they want people to call me jimmy kimmel. they want people to call me jimmy kimmel. you call me both. the "b" is for both. >> i'm being honest with you. give thanks that we're saying your name in a great way. >> jimmy: right, right. >> that's all that matters. >> jimmy: you i'm grateful. >> i'm going to teach you how to use snapchat. what you're going to do is hold this button. right? then you're going to be like, sneaker talk! reveal it! when they reveal it, major key alert! you got to know how to angle it. you got to swag it out. know how to angle it like this. look. >> jimmy: that's going to be hard for me. >> angle, like it's a vibe. you got to -- know what i'm saying? >> jimmy: yeah. all right. what do i say at the beginning? >> jimmy: sneaker talk! >> jimmy: sneaker talk! major key alert! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love the internet. >> well, i love your style, man. now you put your caption. >> jimmy: right. >> on yours. i want to put major key alert, know what i'm saying, because i think they'll t

>> jimmy: jimmy kimmel and dj khaled. we're cocoa buttering up and we want you to have cocoa butter too. >> live life smooth. enjoy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, dj khaled. tonight on the show music from flogging molly, gabourey sidibe is here, be right back with superman henry cavill! >> dicky: portions of " jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the brewers of guinness, who please drink responsibly. man, i might just chill tonight. puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... puppy... ...monkey... ...baby ...puppymonkeybaby... puppymonkeybaby... mountain dew kickstart. dew. juice. caffeine. whaaaaat? i can pour this champagne on my phone and it still work. whaaaaat? yeah look. [phone ringing] kenny, i'm 'bout to put you in the fish tank. that's crazy. [electrical cracking] your phone can't do that max. here, i have another one. (all three) whaaaaaat?! the new water-resistant >> jimmy: we've got a lot going on. tonight, from " empire," gabourey sidibe is here.

jimmy kimmel is next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow morning at 4:30 with ken rosato and lori stokes. for all of us here at eyewitness news, make it a great night, everyone. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. we have a very interesting show tonight. headlined by texas senator and republican candidate for president ted cruz. and let me just say if ted cruz is even half as attractive in person as his sister penelope, we are in for a real treat. ted cruz went, in case you don't know much about him, went to college at princeton and harvard law. he didn't have the trades to get into trump university and it caused a rift between them that continues to this day. on the show i get so much angry feedback

>>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harry connick jr. from "dancing with the stars," erin andrews. and music from 2 chainz and lil wayne in austin, texas. with cleto and the cletones. and now, as far as i know,

"jimmy kimmel live" hillary clinton. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, hillary clinton, from "the catch," peter krause, and music from fifth harmony. with cleto and the cletones. and now, and not a moment too soon, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

and now, not only that, here's jimmy kimmel!

ted cruz is on "jimmy kimmel >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on fast -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]

my giant. >>> and now, abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the brothers grimsby," isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from the suffers with cleto and the cletones. and now, if i'm not mistaken, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

"jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harrison ford, elizabeth olsen, and music from cam. with cleto and the cletones! and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

jimmy kimmel is next. eyewitness news returns tomorrow >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight louis ck. from "nashville," connie britton. and music from the wild feathers. with cleto and the cletones. and now, en garde -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you very much.

kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the brothers grimsby," isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from the suffers with cleto and the cletones. and now, if i'm not mistaken, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight andy samberg. from "zootopia," ginnifer goodwin. and music from the strumbellas. with cleto and the cletones. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i had no idea people got so excited about leap day. happy leap day to you too. i hope you didn't forget to set your calendar back a day. welcome to hollywood where the oscars are over, the cleanup across the street is under way. did you know they make the losing nominees stay after to clean up? cate blanchett with a big bag of garbage this morning, very sad. it's a big shob job. trying to get the stench of matt damon out of the place. little weasel. the red carpet's been rolled up. we are back to normal. normal for us is watching crackheads fight over a to go container of fried rice. but normal is whatever it is. the day after the oscars i'll ilsay is always more fun than the day of the oscars. it's when people in l.a. are

. >>> and now abc's jimmy kimmel live. >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harrison ford, elizabeth olsen, and music from cam. with cleto and the cletones! and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on fast -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

steve: >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harry connick jr. from "dancing with the stars," erin andrews. and music from 2 chainz and lil wayne in austin, texas. with cleto and the cletones. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm the host, jimmy. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. welcome to hollywood. a suburb of los angeles. los angeles, part of california. california, part of the united states of america. which according to the annual world happiness report is the 13th happiest country in the world. we might have just dropped to 17th, i don't know. you know what the happiest country in the world is? denmark. [ cheers and applause ] danish people are the happy. of course they're happy, they

jimmy kimmel live is next. "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, jason bateman -- from "how to get away with murder", aja naomi king. this week in unnecessary censorship -- and music from ceelo green with cleto and the cletones. and now, if there is no further questions, here's jimmy kimmel! thanks for coming. >> jimmy: we have so much to get to tonight. we have so many important things tonight. i'm going to solve all your problems tonight but first, i have a joke from my mother. my mother texted me a joke this morning. a donald trump joke. do you want to hear it? [ applause ] >> jimmy: the correct answer is no. all right. so this came in. it came in at 10:05:00 a.m. we used to love donald duck. now we have another donald that makes us want to duck. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now you see where i get it. actually took time. oh i got a good one and typed it. sent it to me. but as funny as my mother is she has nothing on mitt romney. i'll tell you that. mitt romney this morning made a televised speech in which he he called him a phony

>> jimmy, jimmy kimmel, what are you doing out here? >> jimmy: my mom got me this camera, i figured i'd get a few shots. >> don't you have the "after the oscars" special tonight? >> jimmy: yeah, but -- did you get a gift basket? can i get some of that nourishing lotion? yo, chris. did leta rock it tonight? chris, who are you wearing? chris! i didn't find out who you're wearing! i need to know who you're wearing! >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live after the oscars"! tonight - ben affleck, tracy morgan, henry cavill, jesse isenberg, j.k. simmons, will arnett, nathan lane, matthew broderick, mike tyson, and less. plus we go live to the governors ball. presented by samsung. with cleto and the cletones. and now -- lights, camera, action - here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i was not expecting it. thank you. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for staying up. i know it's late for a sunday night but welcome to our 11th annual after the oscars special. the statues have been handed out, the

>>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight andy samberg. from "zootopia," ginnifer goodwin. and music from the strumbellas. with cleto and the cletones. and reserve and now, glory be here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>>> and now abc's jimmy kimmel live. >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- harrison ford, elizabeth olsen, and music from cam. with cleto and the cletones! and now, moving right along, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to equal of all of you for coming. very nice. winter is over. spring is here. can you feel it? do you feel that springiness that a new season brings? it's almost like, hey, it's almost like your heart is bopping around on a pair of skechers shapeups, right? tonight to welcome spring the way it should be welcome the we have a special treat. our first annual baby animal parade. let's bring out the animals! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this little pig is jolly rolling around in her own vehicle. hello, jolly. how you doing, jolly? this is donald the duck. hello, donald. yeah, that's right, donald. look at him go. oh, a baby goat. this is a baby goat. hare name is tubby. bye, tubby. and finally -- oh, what happened? did a car stall out? oh, wow. [ cheers

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- senator ted cruz -- from "meet the blacks," mike epps -- and music from st. lucia. with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on fast -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

on "jimmy kimmel live," larry >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- henry cavill. from "empire," gabourey sidibe. snapchatting with dj khaled. and music from flogging molly. with cleto and the cletones. and now, good luck, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

. >> here is a look at what is coming up on "jimmy kimmel live" after abc news at 11:00. jimmy? >> thanks dan and ama. feast your eyes on this. >> tonight are you out walking on hollywood boulevard talking to people. does the secret service hate when you do that? >> y >>> loss altos antioch petaluma and all the bay area, this is abc7 news. >>> tonight terrorism is front and center in the race for the white house as voters in three more states headed to the polls for presidential primaries and caucuses. >> we are awaiting the results of caucuses in idaho. in utah bernie sanders won the democratic caucuses. we are waiting still for the gop results. >> in arizona hillary clinton and donald trump won their parties' respective nomination. >> and now how all of the candidates are respond together attack in brussels. katie? >> we will hear more from hillary clinton tomorrow. she has added a counterterrorism speech at stanford. both sides are touting their plans to defeat isis. republicans were quick to criticize president obama. >> i believe the president should return to washington. >

and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] looking around. i don't know how this group got through the secret service, but i'm glad you did. we have a senator. maybe even future president of the united states in the house. bernie sanders is here. [ cheers and applause ] bernie sanders has ignited a lot of passion, primarily among young people. and the incredible thing is he did it without posting even a single nude selfie. [ laughter ] bernie can get very fired up. i watch him on these debates. but remember, if it seems like he's yelling at you, it's because he is yelling at you and you deserve it. [ laughter ] my favorite part about watching bernie in debates is how he's always got his finger up like he's trying to flag down a waiter to get the check. it's like -- [ laughter ] bernie was on the ballot in three states today. there was a primary in arizona and caucu

on "jimmy kimmel live," ashton kutcher. >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- ashton kutcher trailer park boys and music from david gilmour with cleto and the cletones. and now, by the way, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

right now on "jimmy kimmel live," mitt romney. have a good one. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ray romano and former massachusetts governor mitt romney. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪