i'm larry wilmore. before we get to our top story, i have to mention march madness. >> here we go, boys! march madness basketball 2016! it's boner time! >> larry: i forgot. there is an explosion. (laughter) yup! boner time's back, you guys! for those of you not hip to our competition, here's how it goes. i have a dare for every sweet sixteen team in the ncaa tournament. that's right, 16 teams, 16 dares. every time a team wins, that dare advances, all the way to the championship. whichever team wins is the dare i'll have to do. last year the duke blue devils won and i had to do the show in spandex. (cheers and applause) ahh the memories... and the chafing. so this year, if gonzaga wins, then i'll have to do a choreographed dance to "formation." (cheers and applause) that one comes from hannah kerman. you really hate me, don't you hannah? it's great you guys have been sending these in. there's a lot of other dares, from me having to dress up as a klingon, to me having to host the show drunk. that is my fa

let me do it, larry! >> larry: you can do the happy one. (music) >> larry: alright. grace parra, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ (cheers and applause) 3d touch on iphone 6s responds to the pressure of your finger. so you can do a ton of stuff in a lot less time. like look at a site without going to it. or watch a video without opening it. you can do pretty much everything faster. shooting stuff. music stuff. couch shopping. shoe shopping. running. kind of. checking a flight from an email. i'm peeking my flight. i'm not peeking my flight. i'm peeking my...wait, i missed my flight. owl photos. desert photos. photos of... dolphins! a high-stepping man. pizza gifs. it's all faster with 3d touch on iphone 6s. what's the internet saying about the quesalupa? (laughing) "i have romantic feelings for the quesalupa." oh, my... "quesalupa for president." "i saw a picture of a quesalupa in a newspaper and it made me pick up a newspaper." "yo, the quesalupa is bangin'!" yeaaah!!! "about to ascend to food heaven on the cheese filled wings of the angels." taste what the interne

i'm larry wilmore. grammy award winning singer songwriter, angny hamiltoanthon hamilton is on the show tonight. so great. the energy in the crowd. yeah. i love it. president obama just finished up his trip to cuba, but first he had to answer questions about the terrorist attacks in brussels. president obama: the whole premise of terrorism is to disrupt ordinary people's lives. as long as that department happen, we're okay. >> could you allow taking your shades off? >> i'm just saying it's pretty bad optics, mr. president. kids, i just want to tell you that your mother died. [ applause ] >> larry: u keep the shades on. who am i to say. at least try to not have too >> the sight of obama and castro wlaufing and doing the wave together. >> larry: really? the wave? that really was nothing but a nice book ending that looked like this. optics, mr. president. optics. republicans, and the favorite republican mantra calling him the wofshtd president fsh calling the terrorist attack too lightly. >> i call upon eve

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. >> hi, larry. i just wanted to shed light on a phenomenon that can help people understand women better. >> larry: that's great. what is it? >> black lady sign language. >> larry: wow. okay. this is kind of cool. so what is black lady sign language then? >> you might have noticed black ladies use a lot of hand gestures and non-verbal communication and chances are there's a black lady in your office probably named rhonda and you might understand her and might think she's being hostile when she's not or think she's not when she is. >> larry: wow. i can see how that would be problematic. >> right. think of this as my public service announcement to understand rhonda better. >> larry: that's great. how's it work? >> number one the single hand clap. all right. now this can be used to express happiness or anger and learning to tell the difference can save your life. >> larry: great. okay. >> oh it's my song. all right. >> larry: okay. >> very different from, [bleep] what'd you say to me? >> larry: okay. >>

please, please, thank you. >> larry, larry, larry. >> larry: thank you so much, please. welcome to the nightly show. i'm larry wilmore. charlemagne tha god is on the panel tonight, you guys. very exciting. i have to say. last night was a somewhat supertuesday, so let's check in and see what is happening with the unblackening. i got to get the remix of that. all right. after his disappointing performance in florida marco rubio suspended his campaign. he gave a concession speech. yeah. he gave a concession speech and in classic rubio fashion then repeated that concession speech three more times. (applause). >> larry: shutup! , shutup! now but now with rubio gone the question the gop is canning where is his voter going to land. don't know. i don't know. but for more insight let's check in with our with our own ricky velez in florida. hey, ricky. so ricky, what do you think is going to happen with the latino voting bloc? >> oh, i've got no idea. no, i'm not doing that, no. so did you hear about this zoo keeper who got caught jerking off a dolphin? did you -- >> larry: rick w

thank you. >> larry! larry! larry! larry! >> larry: thank you so much. so kind. >> larry! larry, larry. >> larry: thank you so much, guys. i appreciate it. welcome to "the nightly show." i'm your host larry wilmore. i'm so excited-- save some of that, because peaches is on the show tonight. ( cheers and applause ) so excited. so excited by that. okay, anyhow, so much to do tonight, a lot to do. >> larry, larry, larry, larry. sorry to interrupt, but i have an announcement to make! >> larry: oh, hey, robin. robin thede, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) robin. so, what's going on, robin? >> it's harriet tubman day, larry! >> larry: oh, yeah, that's right! i forgot. happy harriet tubman day >> and a happy harriet tubman day to you. >> larry: all right, okay. ( applause ) >> this day is so exciting! i mean, when she refused to give up her seat on that bus-- >> larry: wait, wait, wait. no, no, no, robin. that was rosa parks. >> oh, i know. but you know who doesn't? most people. and i went out to prove it. i'm talking to people about harriet tubman at manhattan's underground ra

you know what i'm saying, larry? >> larry: truuuuuuuue! this has been 2 chainz explainz. ♪ 2 chainz explainz and make sure to pick up 2 chainz' new album "collegrove" with lil' wayne -- available now wherever records are sold. i'm assuming online somewhere. now on to our top story. hillary clinton gave a speech after her win on saturday, and there was a curious response to it. there's the speech. >> hillary: we need to bring more people into our party. keep the enthusiasm of young voters. develop a pipeline for new leaders. >> larry: sounds pretty normal, right? well, here's the analysis. >> o'donnell: chris, you know, one of the trickier things to teach, uh, people about public speaking is that the microphone works. you don't have to actually yell. (audience reacts) >> larry: yell? they're talking to hillary like she's an idiot. (as cavewoman hillary). "og no understand magic talking stick, what me do? oh, me scream loud, me smash glass ceiling!" (applause) i don't understand... what are they telling her? not to mention, it's just three

. >> are you a songwriter, larry? >> larry: no! you guys say you're not priming, that you're not influencing, but it's exactly what you're trying to do. >> are we hearing the same song, larry? a lot of our lyrics are metaphorical. there's imagery. >> pictures. >> larry: yeah, but it's imagery of telling people to vote for cruz. can you give me a song that doesn't tell me to vote for cruz? >> yeah, i think we can do that, larry, but i think you're making too much of this. marco is the worst. he is never first, never if you vote for him you'll be forever cursed bielizibob! >> larry: that's a blatant slam on marco rubio! >> who are you, sir quincy jones? >> larry: first of all, i don't think quincy jones is a knight. secondly, you guys keep lying. about what you're doing. >> no! >> never lying! >> larry: you guys are obviously working for ted cruz. i mean, what do you have to say for yourself? >> i think what we have to say is better said in song. 3, 2, 1... satan, satan, satan, can you hear me satan? satan, satan, satan, can you hear

>> larry: that is just wrong. donald trump, everybody, we will donald trump, everybody, we will be right back. padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. and discovered the sprinted network really is faster. plus, it's more reliable with better coverage than ever. and at sprint, you can still save 50% on most rates from verizon... ...at&t... ...or t-mobile! now, get two amazing new samsung galaxy s7 phones for the price of one. plus with galaxy forever, act now and you'll get to upgrade to the next galaxy in 12 months. we'll even cover your costs to switch up to $650 per line. so switch today. who don't have access thto basic banking,on people but that is changing. at temenos, with the microsoft cloud, we can enable a banker to travel to the most remote locations with nothing but a phone and a tablet. everywhere where there's a phone, you have a bank. now a person is able to start a busin

. >> larry: and you're voting for trump? >> yes. >> larry: really? yes. >> larry: would you be opposed to having trump waterboard you to get more information about islam? >> uh... >> larry: if he came to waterboard, who would he pick? rhymes with schmuslin? play like you're my kids and you have to convince me to vote for trump. what's going on here? >> we're going to vote for trump. >> larry: you want to go to the movies? >> we need you to wast cor cast your vote as well. >> larry: what are you talking about? >> we can't just be democrats because we're black. >> larry: winston, you believe her, too? >> i believe her 100%. >> larry: (bleep) please. are you voting for trump that as an orange american he's the only candidate of color. >> i'm tired of the joafntle stop the jokes. >> larry: you know i'm a fake journalist, right? (laughter) it kind of disturbs me in some of these rallies is you see where trump gets everybody to make a plefnlgt have you seen that where he has them pledge to vote for him? raise your hand, we'll take a pledge right now. >> ok

>> larry: that is just wrong. donald trump, everybody, we will donald trump, everybody, we will be right back. (engine winding up) (pilot talking to tower on radio) once you get out here... there's just one direction... forward. one time: now. and there's just one sound. you and us... together. telling the world... we're coming for you. that would be the sound of your alarm going off.? unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night... which means you're going to be alarmingly tired at work today. listen, the truth is as a parent you'll never get enough sleep. but you can get this: a great tasting 5-hour energy® shot. it'll help you be bright eyed and bushy tailed, just like him. now is the time for 5-hour energy®. case in point: our handcrafted at skydiving chamber.lways down for more... refueling! be hungry for more. just never be hungry. with premium pepperoni and 100% real cheese... ding! hot pockets! >> larry: okay. welcome back. all right. guys, guys, we have to talk about thi

welcome to "the nightly show." >> larry! larry! larry! larry. >> larry: thank you, i appreciate it. once again, you're correct, i am larry, larry, larry, wilmore, thanthank you very much. larry... larry-- wilmore. we've got a great show for you tonight. actor michael k. williams is joining us on panel tonight. everything he does is amazing. we've got breaking news on the effort to denegrofy the white house. let's check in really quick with the unblackening. that's my favorite song. i love that. so a latter-day presidential candidate is back in the news. 2012 republican nominee mitt romney went on television today, and he had some salty words for the toddler-fingered frontrunner. >> donald trump is a phony, a fraud, a con man, a fake. a business genius he is not. his promises are as worthless as a degree from trump university. he is very, very not smart. >> larry: mr. romney, your language. seriously, that's cussing for a mormon-- "you are very, very not smart." you're going to one of the three hells! oh, no! this is actually pretty significant. i mean, the standard bearer of the las

yes. >> larry, larry, larry. >> larry: thank you so much, i'm larry, larry, larry, larry, larry. thank you very much. man, we have a great show for you tonight. i'm very excited. comedian neal brennan is here tonight. very excited. hilarious. also someone asked earlier, we will be giving a flat larry update online, so look for that, okay. i'm very concerned about flat larry's where bs, okay. i think there is some bad stuff going on out there. oh, but first, march madness is back in full swing again which means it's boner time update. >> march madness racquetball, dar il mania, 2016. it's boner time. >> larry: i have no idea what the fire means at the end. can't figure that out. but yup, as the sweet 16 round begins their 16 days-- dares with my name on them. every time a team win that dare advances all the way to the chim. so if the reigning champs win again have i to host the show dressed as a klingon, okay. all right. this is really going to piss off the romulans on my steaf, i'm just telling you right now. bad joke, thanks for the idea. al scarfo 63. if syracuse wins i get the

>> larry: how? >> he can take it up with rene descartes. >> larry: how, he's dead? >> he's dead and certain people's campaigns are dead. >> larry: there you go, you're doing it again. >> sick bern. the point is hilary has nothing but love and kindness for bernie. >> larry: i don't believe -- hey, what's the smell? >> she has awoken. >> larry: wait, hilary? >> oh, god. oh, my god. that sounded like a bed frame be snapped in two. sleeping only made her stronger. i have to hide. >> larry: carlos jordanson everybody. we'll right back. ♪ here's something to shout from the mountaintop. cricket's plans start at $35 a month, after $5 auto pay credit. with more 4g lte coverage nationwide than t-mobile or sprint. cricket wireless. something to smile about. [excited crowd] hello! thank you. yes, thank you. now that we represent the bud light party, we need a little security. so we found the toughest person that we know. blam! ronda rousey you were all expecting a man, weren't you? typical. amy, amy will you read my screenplay? no questions! seth why don't you make better mov

>> dre: hey, larry. >> larry: hey, dre. what's up? >> dre: larry, the brass at comedy central called. they said you have to do your job. >> larry: awww. wait, are you sure about that? >> dre: positive. >> larry: so you're saying i'm held to a higher degree of accountability than congress? >> dre: afraid so, larry. >> larry: all right. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ♪ millions have switched to sprint to save 50% on most rates from verizon, at&t or t-mobile! now, get 50% off the amazing new samsung galaxy s7 or galaxy s7 edge when you get another. why pay full price when you don't have to? switch today. ♪ we're gonna have some fun now ♪ now at chili's, char-crusted sizzling sirloin. ancho chile garlic rub atop a usda choice cut. now available as part of our $20 dinner for two. ♪ (cheers and applause) >> larry: welcome back. there is a major crisis in america that doesn't get a lot of attention. >> some 23 1/2 million americans nationwide including 6 1/2 million children currently living in food deserts. >> larry: oka

scroll it up. >> larry, larry. >> larry: wait, wait, ricky. >> larry,. >> larry: are where the hell are snu. >> i'm in hardewijk, netherlands covering this dolphin story like you toll me too. >> larry: i didn't tell you. >> no, larry, you told me. you sat me down and said ricky, stay on top of this $fin being jerked off story and i'm doing it. i'm going to get it done. >> larry: i never said those words. but fine, as long as are you in the netterrerlands what is the latest. >> the city is called hardewijk and check this out, hey, siri what does hardewijk translate to. >> land of dolphin dick. >> larry: ricky, get back here right now and stop messing around with siri. stop that. >> larry: okay, back to the story. but oddly enough most of the negativity aimed at trump and hillary isn't even coming from their prime aero upon ents. >> donald j. trump and hillary clinton's sounding triumphs on tuesday mask an unusual reality, most americans still don't like him or her. >> one of two candidates who many voters don't actually like or don't trust may become president of the united states. >> la

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>> mike: that's right, larry. >> larry: thank you, by the way. you didn't need to do that. >> mike: my pleasure, larry. hope you enjoy this report as much as i enjoyed making it. roll it. ♪ ♪ ♪ gettysburg! ♪ going to gettysburg! ♪ (suspenseful music) >> mike: whoo! (cheers and applause) this is (bleep). whoo! i showed them. racist confederate flag mother loving (bleep), don't get in my yard anytime soon. (cheers and applause) >> larry: that's it?! mike, that shoot cost the show $15,000! >> mike: hey, larry, fighting racism's expensive. and i decided to keep my rental car. >> larry: mike yard, everybody. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) hi i'm kristie. and i'm jess. and we are the bug chicks. we're a nano-business. windows 10 really helps us get the word out about how awesome bugs are. kids learn to be brave and curious and all kids speak the language of bug. "hey cortana, find my katydid video." oh! this is so good. if you're trying to teach a kid about a proboscis. just sketch it on the screen. i don't have a touch screen on

. >> yes, larry. and don't worry, i got this. >> larry: okay. >> hi, i am julianne moore. look, we have a lot of fun here on the nightly show, but the tampon tax is very serious business. not only because it's yet another symptom of the patronizing patriarchy that taxes women for the simple act of being women, but also because it leaves us open to, you guessed it, bear attacks. when a woman can't afford tampons, well, that blood's got to go somewhere. and once it's on her clothes, her sheets, her office chair, that's when bears for miles around pick up the scent. and you can bet that once those bears hone in on that sweet, sweet menstrual blood, they are coming for it. and man or woman, they will tear limb from limb anyone who stands between them and the blood they crave so dearly. the point that i am trying to get across to lawmakers all around the country is this. if you're not going to get rid of the tampon tax for women's steaks, do it so that we all don't get eaten by bloodthirsty bears. >> now who wants some tampons? >> larry: holly walker, everybody! who wants some

>> dre: hey, larry. >> larry: hey, dre. what's up? >> dre: larry, the brass at comedy central called. they said you have to do your job. >> larry: awww. wait, are you sure about that? >> dre: positive. >> larry: so you're saying i'm held to a higher degree of accountability than congress? >> dre: afraid so, larry. >> larry: all right. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) ♪ kids, juicy fyeah.gum with starburst flavors? (mmm...) (mmm...) (zipper noise) (zipper noise) (baby rattle shaking) juicy fruit so sweet you can't help but chew. ♪ ♪ ♪ yeah yeah ♪ ♪ ♪ here we go, go, go ♪ ♪ are you eating lucky charms? no. this is a dream. they're magically delicious. -totally, right? -kinda reminds me of when i had it all. high-powered job, sports car. had to walk away from it all. i've known you since middle school. -when did all this happen? -fourth grade. with all white meat chicken on a brioche bun, the ultimate chicken club has it all. (clicks) watching tvs get sharper, oh remotes, you've had it tough. bigger, smugger.

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>> larry: yeah. so yesterday donald trump shifted his focus from the blacks to the jews at a conference for aipac, america's most powerful pro israel lobbying group 18,000 people came to show support for the jewish homeland, including the presidential candidates who were in full jewish pander mode, you had hillary rodham clinton-berg, they the dore cruz-owitz, jonathan kasichhh, kasich seven, and of course the evil pharoah. >> kasich seven. >> so what, president obama in his final year, yay! >> he may be the worse thing to ever happen to israel, believe me, believe me. >> >> larry: no, i don't believe you. >> whether or not you like oama, there are many worst things that have happened to israel, such as religious persecution, and 5,000 more years of religious persecution. >> i mean you don't hear me saying guy fieri is the worst thing to ever happen to boats just because he's opening a bar key chain aboard carnival cruise ships, yes, i think that's disgusting but so was the atlantic slave trade. >> s

. >> i know what that is, larry. >> larry: oh, it's robin thede everybody. çlaughterÑ >> larry: what's going on with that amen? >> well, what the man was doing there was quauzing black vote co-signing. >> larry: black vote co-signing? >> yeah. my co-signing with the amen. the mayor was signaling to wlak people and all people of color, telling them it's okay to trust this old white man. >> larry: really? you say black folk co-sign. >> de blasio is want black? >> but his wife is. and that makes him black as jesus. çlaughterÑ >> larry: okay. >> yep. right next to him. >> larry: got it. >> and did you hear him. whenever blaton made a point. de blasio was hallelujah jesus. >> larry: why tell them it's okay? >> i'm not shurp if you notice, but police and people of color haven't always seen eye to eye. so you know -- çlaughterÑ yeah, right. so all de blasio is doing is letting them know is that on this issue, the police is all right. >> larry: just co-signing. >> uh-huh. >> larry: robin thede, everybody. [ applause ] >> larry: okay. now. so ted cruz, a man not known to have many friends w

>> larry: how? >> he can take it up with rene descartes. >> larry: how, he's dead? >> he's dead and certain people's campaigns are dead. >> larry: there you go, you're doing it again. >> sick bern. the point is hilary has nothing but love and kindness for bernie. >> larry: i don't believe -- hey, what's the smell? >> she has awoken. >> larry: wait, hilary? >> oh, god. oh, my god. that sounded like a bed frame be snapped in two. sleeping only made her stronger. i have to hide. >> larry: carlos jordanson everybody. everybody. we'll right back. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. well, i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest. okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. ♪ ♪ ♪ how do they make starburst taste so juicy

>> larry: boom? >> boom. >> larry: that's not right in my face. mike, this makes absolutely no sense, none zero. >> larry, where is ted cruz from? >> larry: texas. >> texas, lone star state. star, starry sky. what's in the starry sky? the zodiac. cruz's alleged birthday, december 22, which makes him a capricorn. what's the capricorn symbol? a goat, g-o-a-t: greatest of all time. the zodiac was the greatest killer of all time! ( applause ) think about that for a second. time-- cruz has never been on the cover of "time" magazine-- whaaaaaaat?! ( laughter ) ( applause ) what did he just do? what did he just do? >> larry: what does that even mean. >> blow your mind. >> larry: mike, give me one single hard fact that proves ted cruz is a serial killer. >> look at his policies! he wants to kill the i.r.s., the department of education, the department of energy, the department of commerce, and housing and urban development. >> larry: oh, i kind of get what you're saying. >> you see it now. >> larry: i get what you're saying. so the "killer" thing is just a