>> steve: miley, steve. >> what's going on, steve? >> steve: hey, how's it going? >> steve: oh, really? [ laughter ] >> you thought you could get me with this one. i am a vegan. i love all animals. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: miley, what is the largest muscle in the human body? don't be dirty. [ light laughter ] >> wait, wait, wait. >> steve: largest muscle. in the human body. >> no. >> steve: he can help you. >> no. >> jimmy: don't ask my booth! [ laughter ] >> that's what i was thinking. wait no, skin! wait -- [ laughter ] no, wait what did you say? the answer is the gluteus maximus -- >> [ bleep ] >> steve: -- or the butt. >> oh [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: miley, stop saying that! >> steve: oh! [ laughter and applause ] joining miley's booth is the winner of the best freestyle beard in the 2016 national beard and mustache championship, say hello to garey faulkner. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's two >> steve: he's got one in his beard. all right, i'm going to call jimmy. cause this next question -- [ cheers and applause ] oh! >> jimmy: oh. oh, my gosh. o

. >> steve: really? [ laughter ] i don't know about that. >> jimmy: i don't know about that. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: "cake!" [ laughter ] let's get to some sports here. college football kicked off this weekend, and texas longhorns' quarterback, shane buechele, told rep had a vasectomy. [ crowd ohs ] in other words, he was the very first quarterback sneak. that was -- [ laughter ] the first one. no one saw it coming. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: well, the u.s. open tennis tournament is going on here in new york this week. it's very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] it's amazing, amazing athletes. of course, fans are eager to watch the world's best players, but it seems like everyone there is even more excited about something else. >> you're going to see the first match at arthur ashe stadium under this beautiful new roof. folks are taking a picture of a a roof. >> the lack of wind and breeze in this stadium with the new roof structure, every time i come here, i have to check that the roof is actually ope

. >> steve: cough. turn your head and cough. >> jimmy: i'm not doing that. [ laughter ] >> steve: waffle. >> jimmy: they make you cough? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: like a dry batter. >> steve: yeah, dry batter. >> jimmy: no, no. and so you pour it in, you get that crispy waffle, you know, nook and cranny. >> steve: crooks in it. yeah. >> jimmy: and then the outside is flat pancake. what the dutch call panacake. >> steve: panacook. yeah, yeah. a dutch word for pancake. >> jimmy: yeah. so you got panwaffle and it's going to put ihop back. [ applause ] they're probably already -- they don't need my help. it's a giant chain. aynways. >> steve: rooting tooting fresh and fruity. >> jimmy: that's what i think the international house. >> jimmy: let me give you another example of that bit we're doing. >> steve: good, 'cause i don't know what you're talking about. >> jimmy: here's a caption from chelsea clinton and ivanka trump. they both wrote, "as the first family, we will work every day to make sure we protect

. >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: for ihop. >> steve: what is it? >> jimmy: the pancake people. >> steve: the international house of pancakes. >> jimmy: yeah, that's correct. yeah. you can do a -- right now i'm just gonna call it the panwaffle. >> steve: panwaffle. >> jimmy: well the outside is pancake. and the inside is waffle. >> steve: so it's like batter coated waffle? >> jimmy: i haven't gotten to that part yet but i think it's the same batter. >> steve: but you make a waffle you fill it with -- right? then you take syrup, fill it in the thing, dip that in pancake batter. >> jimmy: no, no, no. that's a totally different invention. >> steve: like uber? >> jimmy: you got to call the cast iron people and you have them build a new pan. >> steve: they build a brand new pan. the lodge people build a brand new pan. >> jimmy: the lodge family. >> steve: yeah, the lodge family. >> jimmy: and what you do is either make -- might be one of those flippable pans. >> steve: right, like you do with the thing. >> jimmy: like a waffle thing. but, whatever it is

>> steve: you look like an m&m. >> didn't he? >> steve: how's your grandma? >> you let me have that one, didn't you? >> jimmy: no i din't. i -- >> you did. >> jimmy: you know what? i -- >> you were trying to set me up, so i get all confident. >> jimmy: you walked away from me. no, i got it. >> steve: all right wresterls, take a position. take your positions. >> jimmy: so, if i knock you out of the ring, i get a point, right? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, get ready. [ laughter ] >> steve: three, two, one, wrestle! ?? ?? >> steve: he's ropa-doping. ?? robot is using -- [ cheers ] ?? oh! ?? [ cheers and applause ] robot, round two! oh! oh! d she's trying to hit his north pole. >> jimmy: oh, i hit it. you got to -- >> steve: whoa! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the winner right there. renee zellweger, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] we did it. >> you okay? >> jimmy: i'm out of breath. our thanks to renee zellweger, everybody! shaquille o'neal joins us after the break. [ cheers and applause ] stick around! [ cheers and applause ] woah! you're not taking th

>> steve: what? >> jimmy: meanwhile, miss colorado was like, "i don't even remember where i'm from, but" -- [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: 420! >> jimmy: it's like each of before they went on camera. [ laughter ] it's like, "i'm from the great state of tennessee, which is 900 feet above sea level." [ laughter and applause ] what? that's not a stat that anyone knows. guys, get this. the company behind mr. clean is holding an open casting call for a new mr. clean. and i saw that women are welcome to apply. so if you know a woman who you think looks like mr. clean -- [ laughter ] it's probably best to not say anything. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: let her figure it out. "hey, judy, anyone ever tell you" -- >> steve: "hey, honey." >> jimmy: "you look like mr. clean." >> steve: "what are you so mad at?" >> jimmy: finally, i want to say congratulations to stan wawrinka for winning the "u.s. open" last night. [ cheers and applause ] amazing match. afterwards, he actually stopped by "the tonight

steve: what time was that? sen. daschle: this was, by then, i would say around noon early afternoon. steve: and how did the city look? sen. daschle: the city looked somewhat normal from the air, with one major exception and that is of course, the pentagon. there you saw a plane -- we saw half of an airplane and with countless fire trucks and thousands of people standing around on the outside with all kinds of smoke billowing out. steve: when did you first speak to president bush or vice president cheney? sen. daschle: we got to the undisclosed location and it's a very stark place. with rooms that are very nondescript. if i recall there were white walls, very basic chairs and tables. we were then taken into the communications center where there were a number of television monitors and other communications equipment. and it was shortly after that we were put on a speakerphone with the president. i think the president first, then the vice president second. to talk about circumstances. steve: what did they say? what did

at points it turned ugly. >> steve: thank you for joining us i'm steve aveson. >> vicki:and i'm vicki liviakis. politeness did not last long. as the candidates go back and forth on race relations, the economy and fighting isis. we have team coverage tonight on the debate. our political analyst michael yaki joins us to break down the debate. >> vicki:but first we go to hempstead new york where alex schuman joins us live. >> good evening! >> you can see this was definitely a bunch of heated discussions. trump and clinton did get personal. it may have felt like a greatest hit highlight reel. what you definitely so was clad and calling on relief for tax returns. trump said he would if she will release r e mills and texas. >> clinton will laugh at it with her response. she humanize herself by talking about her childhood, the middle class upbringing. at her father's hardware. >>--clinton's hard work >> trump tried to come out looking more presidential. he did have some calm this before he to return back to his personal style. bangs the heated tonight. steve and vicki? >> vicki: the needs of

>> steve: hey-oh! [ laughter and applause ] "your b-52 is so old, instead of a runway, it lands on a a shuffleboard court." >> steve: hey! ? [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's how old that would be. >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: this is kind of weird. i read that coolers and bicycles were banned from last night's debate, which makes previous debates where they said, "all right. from now on, no more coolers or bicycles at the debate." [ applause ] "because this is a complete disaster." >> steve: hey, no! >> jimmy: come on. you have to make a rule. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: no more! i've had enough! >> steve: i have a cooler full of beer, man! >> jimmy: you wouldn't believe -- "you wouldn't believe what happened to me getting up here. i had to go through all those coolers and bicycles." [ laughter ] good day, sir!" [ laughter ] this is pretty big. snapchat announced they're changing its name to "snap, incorporated." >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah, and right after myspace announced it's changing its name to snapch

: class. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: class. >> jimmy: classy dude. >> steve: classy dude. i stole some ketchup from the restaurant. >> jimmy: then i'd get cold. i don't want to be cold. >> steve: i'll be freezing. learn a lesson. next time -- >> steve: yeah, you should bring your jacket, dummy. >> jimmy: this one is from @bronwinroberts. she says, "at the end of the night he leaned in for a kiss and whispered, 'don't be scared if my tooth falls out.'" [ laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you just ruined the moment. "i just don't want you to swallow my tooth." >> steve: yeah, don't be scared. [ laughter ] it's very expensive. >> jimmy: this one's from long time. then texted me, 'you should just call an uber.'" [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh, what? >> jimmy: there's no way. >> steve: oh, my god. from the bathroom he texted her. >> jimmy: i don't know what's going on, man. maybe he climbed out the window and just i don't know. >> steve: maybe. >> jimmy: i don't know what happened. that's awful. >> steve: maybe. not even just call. >> jimmy: maybe. >

>> steve: right foot red. [ light laughter ] >> steve: it's a big spin. you've got to get all of it. you ready? >> jimmy: i feel like alex trebek. >> steve: right foot green. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: right foot green. there we go. [ laughter ] can't use his hand. >> steve: shaq. >> jimmy: i might get a jell-o habit. >> jell-o shot. not a jell-o snack. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's starting to kick in. you're my best friend. >> steve: right hand red. right hand red. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't put your weight on me. that's not fair! i can't do it. i can't do it. i'm a weak man. [ cheers and applause ] ?? that's my man right there. shaquille o'neal. hall of famer. big hofa. eric church performs after the break. stick around, everybody. the one and only! [ cheers and applause ] "it's halloween time my frightful fiends, and disneyeyland is ours!" "going down!" don't miss halloween time at the disneyland resort ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a seven-time grammy-nominated country artist who will launch his "holdin' my own" t

>> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can't meet a nicer dude. >> steve: he's a huge jacked man. >> jimmy: plus from the "dr. ken" show, the hilarious ken jeong is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] ken jeong. always fun. and you want great music? we got great music for you. shawn mendes is here! >> steve: yeah!. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shawn mendes. fantastic guy. super talented guy. guys, it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ applause ] hashtags ? >> jimmy: oh, here we go. you guys are on twitter right? are you on twitter? [ applause ] it's fun. well, we use twitter on our show every single week and if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since it's officially the first day of fall, i went on twitter and sent out a hashtag called "fall songs." and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny the fall. well, we got thousands of tweets.

>> steve: yeah, bust it off. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the -- there you go. >> steve: that's it? >> jimmy: that's it. yeah. get ready. mo's going to come out tonight and just blow everyone away. she's fantastic. there she is. mo! [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys, it's time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ? pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ? >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of taking a self-driving uber. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: they're being tested right now in pittsburgh. uber says it's the future of the business. so, let's take a look at the pros and cons of taking a a self-driving uber. here we go. pro -- it's a car that no one drives. con -- [ applause ] you don't see 'em >> steve: you don't seem 'em very often. >> jimmy: don't see enough. you don't see enough of those. >> steve: no. god bless 'em. >> jimmy: pro -- no one's at the wheel

>> steve: yes, james! >> hey, higgins. >> steve: hello. aw, look how cute. i have one dozen eggs. [ laughter ] [ applause ] beautifully arranged swimming style. eight of them -- >> jimmy: what? >> steve: have been hard boiled. eight! >> jimmy: thank you. sorry. >> steve: eight of them -- don't eat them. eight of them have been hard boiled. four of them are still raw. [ light laughter ] you and michael will take turns selecting one egg at a time and smashing it upon the top of your head. you won't know which is -- which one -- until you smack 'em! >> jimmy: all right, all right. >> steve: choose an egg. you must smash that egg on your head. no put-backs. first one to smash two raw eggs on their head loses. michael, as the guest of the show, you shall choose the first egg. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: ooh, that one, really? >> steve: good luuuuck! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: there's a good -- >> right here? >> jimmy: yeah, that's good. right there on the hair line. yeah. right in the hair line. >> oh, man, i'm nervous. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love seeing michael phe

>> steve: that's rude. >> jimmy: that's rude! >> steve: that's rude! >> jimmy: who would write that and send it out? >> steve: and laugh? who are you thanking? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] it ends up somewhere. >> steve: i know. somewhere. rude wake up call. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, hangman, for taking a guessing game way too seriously. [ laughter and applause ] "kill me? i don't know. i'll take a guess." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: oh, great. i don't know what it was. ♪ thank you, mattress commercials, for making it seem like it's totally normal to hang out on a mattress without sheets. [ laughter and applause ] weird. "it's so comfy. oh, my gosh. i can have my glass of red wine." >> steve: red wine. [ laughter ] i'm a seven. he's a three. [ laughter ] he's an english teacher. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, envelopes, for being stationary that you french kiss. there you go, everybody. that's my "thank you notes." we'll be right back with meg ryan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this one's go

steve: let me stop you that point. when you saw the second plane hit the second tower, for you personally, what were you thinking? what was your immediate reaction? admiral thomas: it was clear that this was no accident, that somehow this was intentional. this was not -- couldn't possibly be a coincidence, an act of terror was the first thing that popped into my mind, that somehow this was a coordinated attack on the united states. at least on those buildings in new york city. and you start thinking, how should we respond? what could the navy's role be in this? the washington, the pentagon, the navy staff, what can we do? how should we respond? how can we help? steve: for those who have not been to washington, obviously, they've seen pictures of the pentagon, but where physically was your meeting and explain the physical structure, the different rings inside the pentagon. admiral thomas: sure. the pentagon is a five sided building, a series of concentric rings with the center ring being that outermost ring. the e ring,

>> steve: are you crying? >> jimmy: is that it? >> steve: less, less. no, no tears. >> jimmy: are you sure? >> steve: no tears. no tears. mouth up. mouth up. there you go. no, no, no, no. no, no. yeah, that -- no, that's -- no that's too much. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: next from the bears is deiondre hall. he was voted most likely to respond with "oh, you nasty," 80% of the time. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? 80%? >> jimmy: 80%. oh, you nasty. >> steve: so eight out of ten? >> jimmy: next up from the he was voted most likely to be a jonas brother on crossfit. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: yeah. they're healthy to begin with. >> jimmy: next up from the cowboys is ronald leary. he was voted most likely to make this face while watching ryan lochte on "dancing with the stars." [ laughter and applause ] next up, from the bears, is logan paulson. he was voted most likely to drive around in a van with his dog solving mysteries. >> steve: zoinks! >> jimmy: next up, is cowboys wide receiver, lucky whitehead. he was voted most likely to hav

. >> steve: and i'm steve aveson. >> steve: tonight one person has been shot during the protest and is in critical condition. we've also seen property damaged. tear gas fired. objects thrown at officers. fires started. >> pam:a very tense situation. this happening right now. by protesters. a number of people have been taken into custody. kron4's justine waldman is tracking is the latest video out of north carolina. >> reporter: tuesday's shooting death of keith lamont scott. the 43 year old. a father of seven who was killed by charlotte apartment complex. >> justine: scott's family says the sitting in his car reading a book when police shot him. but police say scott got out of his car holding a gun. and there was no evidence of a book. >> justine: a peaceful protests have turned violent tonight. hundreds out on the streets of downtown charlotte. here a protestor kicking in glass doors of a business. >> justine: also. police swat team outside omni hotel. where we can see the flash and then smoke from tear gas being fired. >> justine: the march turned violent after a protester was shot a

>> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: david's dad was here last time. >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: standing up and waving to everybody. [ laughter ] it was really funny. it was really cute. oh, and we got great music. i mean, how exciting was this? dude, i freaked out. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i was just walking by the hall. i saw them in the hallway. i was like, "oh, my gosh!" de la soul is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: mint green, funky. minty fresh. minty fresh. >> steve: it tastes peppery. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. what jam are they doing tonight? do you know? >> questlove: "memory of," "memory of," yeah. >> jimmy: "memory of," ooh, wow. that's right, with estelle. you got a little tape? >> you want me to bust it? ?? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's what i'm talking about. de la soul is here. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: guys, it is time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." [ cheers and applause ] ? pr

. >> steve: huh? >> jimmy: next up is joe looney. [ light laughter ] he was voted most likely to just see a toy he wants and just silently point at it. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what do you want? >> jimmy: a good dance. >> steve: it's okay. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: where were we? what happened? where were we? what happened? >> steve: cape. ♪ >> jimmy: yeah, i was off. i started off a little low. >> questlove: little bit. >> jimmy: little bit? >> questlove: little bit. >> jimmy: little bit. >> steve: wow! >> jimmy: little bit. >> questlove: little bit. >> jimmy: little bit. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] next up from the cowboys, we have quarterback mark sanchez. he was voted most likely to secretly act in pornos as rod buttfumble. [ applause ] ♪ >> steve: what? >> jimmy: he had a famous fumble where he -- >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: finally from the cowboys we have doug free. he was voted most likely to stay at your house two hours after the party. [ laughter and applause ] there you guys go. there'

. >> steve: what did he say? >> jimmy: he said, "life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving." that's great advice. [ light laughter ] this bit feels long. >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: here's another quote from him. he said, "life is like riding a a hoverboard, you think you're being cool, but everyone thinks [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: d-bag, really? >> jimmy: how am i supposed to know? i'm just doing my job, just reading facebook quotes and just having a good time. >> steve: yeah, that's your job, man. >> jimmy: that's my job. >> steve: great job, einstein. >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] my first name. we're down to our last quote. it's from the tibetan monk, the dalai lama. you guys know the dalai lama. [ cheers ] he said, "when you practice gratefulness, there's a sense of respect toward others." here's the last quote from the dalai lama. "you up?" [ laughter and applause ] i just don't know if that -- that's all the time we have -- we're out of time for "don't quote

>> steve: this is time to fill. >> jesse: the top of the u.s. bank building was my favorite one. >> steve: the now milwaukee is my moderate to severe chronic plaque psoriasis made a simple trip to the grocery store anything but simple. so i had an important conversation with my dermatologist about humira. he explained that humira works inside my body to target and help block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to my symptoms. in clinical trials, most adults taking humira were clear or almost clear, and many saw 75% and even 90% clearance in just 4 months. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you h

>> steve: can they vape? vape, yeah. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: here's another one. someone spotted this in a a public restroom here, it says "please use hand dryers, thank you management" then it says over the hand dryer "out of order." [ laughter ] that wasn't that great, that one. >> steve: that was a real sign. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that one was actually a real sign, there. that's actually, something you'd see. >> steve: yeah, something you'd see in real life. >> jimmy: the illusion of choice. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you've got to wipe it on your pants. >> steve: catch 22. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: shouldn't even wash your hands at that point. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah, go in. >> jimmy: you're better -- >> steve: i tried man. >> jimmy: i think i'm clean. i'm cleaner than that faucet is probably. >> steve: exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: faucet probably doesn't even work. >> steve: yeah, probably no water. probably the toilet doesn't even work. >> jimmy: there's probably more signs in that bathroom. >> steve: it's probably not even -- it's probably a bakery.