tonight -- hilary and larry meyers, josh meyers, we'll clear the air with the meyers family, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. happy thanksgiving. and let's get to the news. happy thanksgiving, everybody, it's now about 12:30 on thanksgiving night, which means any minute now, you should be done entering your parents' wi-fi password. [ laughter ] wait, did you say the 57th letter was an "n"? [ laughter ] this year's macy's thanksgiving day parade featured 17 balloons. it was going to be 18 but then olaf was hit with sexual harassment allegations. [ laughter and applause ] sick. photos were released yesterday of first lady melania trump decorating the white house for the holidays. though i'm not sure a rope ladder counts as a decoration. [ laughter ] it's a -- it's a custom in my country. [ laughter ] president trump tweeted yesterday quote, "51 million americans to t

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the house passed a republican tax bill today, which was great news for everyone from the super wealthy all the way down to the that's it. [ laughter ] disneyworld's hall of presidents debuted an animatronic president trump today. now, i know this show is on at 12:30 and you're trying to go to sleep, but you've got to look at this thing. [ laughter ] good lord! [ cheers ] disneyworld, is that supposed to go in the haunted mansion? [ laughter ] look at that hair! did you paint some glue on his head and then throw the wig from ten feet away? [ light laughter ] even lincoln is looking at him like, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. man, when it comes to animatronic trump, i think the trump cake has the best reaction. [ laughter ] that's right. disneyworld's hall of presidents debuted an animatronic president trump today. whereas jeff sessions will debut at the country bear jamboree. [

but my name is gordon meyers. >> reporter: michael is his middle name. the next step trying to prove he is a resident of california. >> two proof of residency, which i'm homeless. >> reporter: a letter from a local church and another from the sheriff's department met that requirement. and after more than 4 trips to the dmv over the past month and a half, michael finally got the one thing that could help him get off the streets. his california i.d. card. >> something as simple as helping them to get back off their feet get to them an idea to get state or federal benefits, that's the least we can be doing as law enforcement officers. >> both men gained so much more. >> we both realized at the same time that there's a real person there. and not just a stereotype that we saw when we first met each other. >> reporter: the alameda county sheriff's department says they are now trying to work with local lawmakers and the dmv to streamline the process for the homeless to get an identification card. katie nielsen, kpix 5. >> meyers says now that he has an identifi

. >> seth meyers was equally stunned on election night. he offered a mea culpa on late-night the next day. >> based on this pattern of me being wrong on every one of my donald trump predictions, he's probably going to be a great [ bleep ] president. >> then he gave the new president a warning. >> we, here, at late night will be watching you. >> meyers kept that promise, brutally dissecting trump's every move in his signature "closer look" segment. >> would you call what you're doing now investigative comedy? >> we do try to bring out information that you couldn't get out in a monologue joke, so we try to do a longer piece where we can sort of have a little bit more freedom to explain the story. >> trump is so fully out of his mind, he broke a general. that guy's been in wars. >> it might be explanatory journalism sometimes? >> sure. i think we try very hard. explanatory comedy. again, i'm always -- >> you're afraid of the j-word, aren't you? >> i feel like i'm doing a disservice to people who actually practice journalism to say i'm doing i

i did punch seth meyers in the face, and i am sorry. i guess i was hesitant to apologize, because then everyone would know that i'm a dirty face-puncher. [ laughter ] and now, because people know i'm a face-puncher, there are certain jobs that i just can't have. like movie producer. or "today" show host. or senator from minnesota. [ laughter ] but i can still be a senator from alabama! vote amber ruffin, baby! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: amber ruffin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] house speaker, paul ryan today repeated his statement that accused alabama senate candidate, roy moore, should drop out of the race. and moore repeated his statement that his girlfriend should drop out of high school. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] i also don't want him in the news. fitness tracker fitbit recently added over 60 new apps to its smart watch, including lyft and yelp. by the way, lyft and yelp is also my workout. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today was letter-writing day. betsy devos is finally trying lower case "g." [ laughter ] s

tonight -- hilary and larry meyers, josh meyers, we'll clear the air with the meyers family, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. happy thanksgiving. and let's get to the news. happy thanksgiving, everybody, it's now about 12:30 on thanksgiving night, which means any minute now, you should be done entering your parents' wi-fi password. [ laughter ]

. >> seth meyers was equally stunned on election night. he offered a mia culpa the next day. >> based on this pattern of me being wrong, he's probably going to be a great [ bleep ] president. >> then he gave the new president a warning. >> we hear at late night will be watching you. >> meyers kwept that promise. >> would you call what you're doing now investigative comedy? >> we try to bring out information that you couldn't get out in a monologue joke, so we do a longer piece where we can have more freedom to explain the story. >> trump is so fully out of his mind he broke a general. that guy's been in wars. >> it might be explanatory journalism sometimes? >> sure, i think we try very hard. i'm always -- >> you're afraid of the j word, aren't you? >> i feel like it's a disservice to people who practice journalism to say i'm doing it as well. >> experts say in the era of interrupt, viewers depend on comedians like meyers to make sense of the constant cycle of news. >> it's time for breaking crazy. >> he's going as indepth as he can. the li

[ laughter ] is franklin pierce seth meyers? possibly. then i read that back in the '90s, jason priestly punched harvey weinstein. and i was like, 9021-what? then, australia voted to legalize gay marriage, and i was like, what mate? [ laughter ] what mate? but, there's actually been 22 unsuccessful attempts to legalize it, since 2004. so australians have been, like, wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha- wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha wha-wha -- [ laughter ] and now they're like, whaa? [ cheers and applause ] then -- then the fcc repealed net neutrality rules. and i was like, what am i gonna do when i want to stream "what not to wear?" when i want to stream "what about bob?" when i want to listen to "what a girl wants." when i want to listen to "what's love got to do with it." hell, when i want to watch "what's love got to do with it." what are you going to do, ike? a bunch of people came here to see me. so what you gonna do? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] then, i heard jaden smith did the moon walk at a concert. and i was like, what would m

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. the official rockefeller center christmas tree was lit earlier tonight. and it will stand there until early january when i have to drag it out to the curb. [ laughter ] former president obama will meet with the leaders of china and india during an upcoming trip abroad, while president trump will meet with who he thinks are leaders of china and india. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] according to recent analysis, the fcc received more than a million fake comments in favor of repealing net neutrality. it's the most fake comments ever found outside a high school reunion. [ laughter ] "oh, my god, you look great!" [ laughter ] a family in seattle recently called the police after discovering a four-foot snake hiding in their toilet. said the four-foot snake, "please, call me jeff." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] a new study has found that dogs love seeing humans smile. usually. [ laughter ] [ growls ] accordi

seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers." secretary sanders, why do you think the country is so frustrated with the trump presidency? >> it's because it should have ended yesterday. [ laughter ] >> seth: yesterday. great. [ cheers and applause ] what do you consider to be your main responsibility as white house press secretary? >> to create fake information. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: what are the -- what are the five words that scare chief of staff john kelly the most? >> the president tweeted this morning. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: what was president trump looking for when he was putting together his campaign staff? >> regular offenders that have been -- in massive amounts of trouble. [ laughter ] >> seth: how is the white house staff handling the new developments in the mueller investigation? >> they might start drinking. [ laughter ] >> seth: let's say hypothetically that donald trump was offered an immunity deal, but in order to get it, he had to incriminate his two sons, eric and donald. >> he'll

seth meyers is here. he's the host of "late night with seth meyers." and ally hord is here. and she has a stick up her butt. [ laughter ] fair? >> fair. >> tonight we're talking about cookies. seth, do you like cookies? >> seth: you know i do. [ laughter ] >> ally, do you like cookies? >> are they gluten-free? >> they are. [ whispering ] they are not. >> seth: this has been "point counterpoint." >> this has been amber ruffin! >> seth: we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey ramirez! un poquito mas rapido, no? [instrumental music playing throughout] [wheel squeaking] beautiful bike, just beautiful. ha,ha,ha. [pumping of bike tire] [pumping of hospital ventilator] [rain falling] [wheel squeaking] carlos! carlos! dr. brad needs to see you in room 3. [wheel squeaking] [heart monitor beeping] ♪ sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. grey goose. give the world's best tasting vodka. ♪ of thoughts and dreams that scatter ♪ ♪ you pull them all together ♪ and how, i can't explain ♪ ♪ oh yeah, well well well youuuu ♪ ♪ you mak

to bring republican strategists ron meyer and democratic strategist and one c. wright. gentleman come in merry christmas eve. thanks for being with us. i want to go to you first on these challenges. the congress is going to face in the new year and the tax reform, major political victory for the president at a steep hill for them decline. we are talking about the challenge is, like any $1 billion is a disaster relief for places like california, texas, puerto rico, to $700 billion the president put forward for military spending in the new year and any single item issues like daca and children's health care and the border wall. what you think they will tackle first? >> well i mean, you have it right. january 19th is the first day. the first thing they have to tackle is the budget or sunday on spending. you have to remember this is in the context of tax to the context attacks upon the just passed. both sides agree we want to spend more, but how much we want to spend. we have her public can

>> oh, as seth meyers. i would never insult steven spielberg. i want to be in his movies. >> seth: well, i guess that does explain why the last time i saw him he open-handed slapped me in the face. >> yes, i mean after what you said to him, you do deserve it. seth, do you forgive me? >> seth: you are forgiven. [ applause ] seth, you are my favorite seth. thank you so much for doing this. >> seth, thank you for having me, and my favorite seth is seth mcfarland. [ laughter ] >> seth: this has been -- >> together: "seth and seth clear the air." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: seth rogen everybody. "the disaster artist" is in theatres now. we'll be right back with jenna coleman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ liberty mutual saved us almost eight hundred dollars when we switched our auto and home insurance. liberty did what? yeah, they saved us a ton, which gave us a little wiggle room in our budget. wish our insurance did that. then we could get a real babysitter instead of your brother. hey, welcome back. this guy... right? yes. ellen. that's my robe

so deputy swalwell took it upon himself to help meyers go get new identification. well, it took three visits to the dmv and in an official letter on stationery before meyers got a california senior citizen i.d. card. and meyers and the deputy have now forged a close bond. >> he turned out to be more of a friend than anybody else i have met in recent years. >> the sheriff's department says with his new i.d. card they hope to help meyers get off the streets and get a new job. >>> well, it only several more days remaining in 2017, president trump is delivering a report card of sorts for his first year in office. >> this as former president barack obama sits down with prince harry to share his thoughts since leaving the white house nearly a year ago. griff jenkins is in washington with the story. >> we want to give these people credit for great job they do. >> reporter: president trump spending his final few days of 2017 visiting a west palm beach firehouse praising the work of firefighters and paramedics and his own administration. >> we have more legislation passed i

disco shell could know the cup is that best chance of a trophy this term while milot finished with meyer the hero the stark let's take a look at the rest of tuesday's german cup results there were success for minds against regard while thirty year potter born will be in january's draw for the quarter finals after beating second division angle stock false burg also went through but only after extra time byron and dortmund meet in the german cup last sixteen tonight when the you remain in a four tie stake place holders dortmund have regained their form under their new coach. but hosts biron have won the cup more than any other side and they'll be looking for revenge as dortmund sent them crashing out of the competition last season. change of fortune brought on by this. guy has led don't want to back to back wins since taking over in the space of a week he went from being sacked by the league's bottom club money to coaching the heavyweights of german football. so to see fancy his chances of silverware. you'd like a headline wouldn't you want to try fate. of course if you have a chance of wi

but their fears were raised on sixty three minutes when yet another corner was met superbly by marx meyer the midfielder is an outside pit for germany's world cup squad and head is light that will do his case no harm. the final whistle was greeted with jumps of delight from coach dominica to disco shell could know the cup is the best chance of a trophy this term one the it finished with meyer the hero the stark ok let's take a look at the rest of tuesday's german cup results there was success for mines against stuttgart while third tier powder byrne will be in the draw for the quarterfinals of february after beating second division. all spoke also went through but only after extra time. well byron and dortmund meet in the german cup last sixteen tonight when the remaining four ties take place holders dortmund have regained their form under the new coach of pitcher sugar but hosts byron have won the cup more than any other side and they'll be looking for revenge as dortmund sent them crashing out of the competition last season. a change of fortune brought on by this. guy's lead don't want

i'm seth meyers, and this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. the alabama special election for senate is tomorrow, and it's currently too gross to call. [ laughter ] that's right, the alabama special election for senate is tomorrow between doug jones of the democratic party, and roy moore who is not allowed at parties. [ laughter ] one more. that's right, the election is tomorrow, and roy moore is already setting up for his victory celebration. [ crowd groans ] bridge too far? [ applause ] overstayed my welcome? okay, i hear you loud and clear. four women today accused celebrity chef mario batali of sexual misconduct, and when he found out, batali was so depressed he could barely dress himself for the past five years. [ laughter ] [ applause ] according to the "new york times," president trump sometimes watches msnbc's "morning joe" because it fires him up for the day. it's the same reason he watches dora. [ light laughter ] "why doesn't she give me more time to answe

>> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case let's get to the news. well, roy moore may have lost last night's election, but we'll never forget all the people he touched. [ laughter ] republican roy mooid

. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the white house has announced that president trump will pardon two turkeys at a ceremony tomorrow, despite the fact that both turkeys lied under oath about meeting with russian officials. [ laughter ]

, but according to my birth certificate, my name is gordon meyers. >> reporter: michael is his middle name actually. the next step, trying to prove he's a runt of california. >> two proof of -- a resident of california. >> two proof of residency which i'm homeless. >> reporter: a letter from a local church and another from the sheriff's department met that requirement and after more than four trips to the dmv over the past month and a half michael finally got the one thing that could help him get off the streets, his california id card. >> just something as simple as helping them just get back on their feet to get an id so they can receive some state or federal government benefit, absolutely. that's the least that we can be doing as law enforcement officers. >> reporter: but both men said they gained so much more. >> we both realized at the same time that there's a real person there and not just a stereotype that we saw when well first met each other. >> reporter: the alameda county sheriff's department said they are now trying to work with local lawmakers and the dv to streamline the

cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] and that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. after hillary clinton joked last night that she was considering dressing up as president for halloween, donald trump jr. tweeted, "that's cute. she can borrow my donald trump

. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. russian president vladimir putin announced today that he will run for another six year term and he did it using his official twitter account. [ laughter ] pren

>> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. senator bob corker said this weekend that he would support the republican tax plan, despite not reading it. "same," said trump about the constitution. [ light laughter ] the trump administration has banned the cdc froin

. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] before we get started, we mentioned this yesterday, but disney world has added a new animatronic donald trump -- [ laughter ] -- to their hall of presidents. just look at that face. [ light laughter ] he looks like the old guy in a

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the houston astros beat the los angeles dodgers last night to win their first world series title in team history. sad news for dodgers fans, some of whom have been following the team since as far back as game three. [ laughter ] security researchers have reportedly discovered that recently indicted former trump campaign chairman paul manafort used bond007 as one of his computer passwords. [ laughter ] he also signed his checks, "from russia with love." [ laughter ] according to cnn, white house senior adviser jared kushner recently turned over documents to special counsel robert mueller about his role in the firing of fbi director, james comey. oh, man, i hope they don't put kushner in jail because he'll just walk right out between the bars. [ laughter ] we've got a skinny dude loose! [ light laughter ] in an interview with the "new york times," president trump repeated the claim that he is not und

>> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to the "new york times," people close to secretary of state rex tillerson said he had to be convinced not to resign on more than one occasion. while others at the white house have to be convinced every