>> jimmy: break a leg! >> guillermo: thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: don't break a leg. he's definitely going to break a leg. [ laughter ] february, as you know, is black history month. every so often around this time i like to shine a light on how much progress we've made as a nation when it comes to race relations. we went out onto hollywood boulevard and asked people passing by, "do you have a black friend?" now here's how it works. we're going to see a person, a white person introduce themselves. based strictly on that introduction, our job as an audience and a family is to guess if they have a black friend, okay? [ laughter ] understand? let's meet our first pedestrian. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> allie from arizona. >> do you have a black friend? >> jimmy: what do you think? does allie from arizona have a black friend? all right, most of the audience says yes, let's find out. >> yes. >> what's their name? >> i'm trying to think. sorry. i'm trying to think. oh, rashaun. >> jimmy: oh, rashaun, right. [ laughter ] i have a feeling rashaun doesn't re

>> guillermo: not at all, jimmy. yeah, i was -- >> jimmy: tequila works, doesn't it? >> guillermo: works all the time. >> jimmy: it was a 4.2 off the coast of malibu. it was coupled with an annual reminder of our impending doom. in washington they have a group of atomic scientists who gather to update what they call the doomsday clock. this is a metaphorical measure of how close we are getting to the end of the human race. i'll tell you what, these guys, one thing they really know how to put on a show. >> we move the clock forward, the closest it has ever been to midnight. it is now -- 90 seconds to midnight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like they died already or something. [ laughter and applause ] the doomsday clock, first of all, it looks like they bought it at party city. [ laughter ] second, if they want to get people's attention, you need to spice this presentation up. like this. >> it is now -- 90 seconds to midnight. >> we're all gonna die! we're doomed, doomed i say, doomed! how are you so calm? 90 seconds! run for your [ bleep ] lives! aah! aah! [ cheers and

. >> jimmy: wow. your last name is a lot to put on a sign. [ laughter ] that must have been a lot of work. >> no, no, it was way easier. i was running against garrett kerr, blond hair, blue eyes. i'm dark hair, dark eyes. instead of a big speech about, i'll do this, he'll do this. we both said, "comes down to, you want someone with blond hair and blue eyes? dark hair or dark eyes?" they wanted me so i won. [ laughter and applause ] i don't know what i did as senior class president. thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: what were your responsibilities as senior class president? >> i have no idea. i don't remember what they were then. i found out later on that that is a title you can never get rid of. 10 years, 20 years later, people will ask you, "are you going to organize the reunion?" >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's right. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: you are supposed to, yeah. >> i didn't know. when i was 17, i didn't know. so all of a sudden here i am. 17, 27, 37. i'm getting a phone call from -- i think i

okay okay >> jimmy: yes. >> okay. ready? >> jimmy: yep. >> here we go. >> jimmy: cupid! hallmark mailbox? oh, tunnel of love ♪ [ cheers and applause [ bell ringing ] >> look at the tunnel. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable! >> look at the tunnel. >> wow >> look at the tunnel. >> jimmy: wow! tunnel of love >> yeah! valentines love tunnel. >> well done well done. quest, good luck to you, bud >> yo! >> questlove: in my years of being here, no one ever picks ten. >> yeah. >> do it >> questlove: i'm going to pick ten. [ cheers and applause >> i feel good about it. >> jimmy: i don't think words are written on number 10 >> questlove: now i know why no one ever - [ laughter ] i can do this. >> jimmy: okay >> all right, mind meld, mind meld >> questlove: i got you. i hope i got you [ laughter ] i haven't been to sleep in hours though >> sure, sure. >> questlove: you ready? >> yeah. >> questlove: okay >> jimmy: you ready? >> okay. do you want to come here alison >> yeah. guys, guys okay, okay cupid! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god cupid. >> baby fish mouth baby fish mouth. [ laugh

i want to show everyone a clip >> starring sarah. >> jimmy: starring sarah >> sarah >> jimmy: jimmy. >> jimmy nice to meet you >> jimmy: nice to meet you [ laughter ] i want to show everybrone a clim herore's sarahck michelle esgele "wolquf pack."tr iptake a look.star im >>essa retty. need your j help, eve a i need youer to help m>>e fign out whdeo's responnosible for t deaths of several people that includeghs some of imyour nfriends who are on that school wos.osclos shear you'shre going t fo hear that t police suspect arson! that's only part of the truth. . because it's not just a suspicion.t my i know for certain this fire>>o was caused by arsison.e uaesab luosn detell you ite'm certainas one otosher thingsanut the arsonist is a teenagertoowa! might have been even be someone you go to school with. in fact, it's quite possible this tvaeenager waues on that cr o snaspghimnr >> jimmy: come on. that's how you do it [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: sarah michelle gellar! "wolf pack" airs thursdays on paramount plus more "the tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheer

. >> jimmy: yeah. so anyway, this -- people do this weird thing where they like to tape them -- they use their phones to record themselves reacting so they can share their reactions to whatever's on television. and these are -- this is a nice little cross-section of some of the reactions. >> watch the people talk about it. and i'm like, what the [ bleep ]? it was so good. >> the show was supposed to be about zombies. what the [ bleep ]? >> you just watched "the last of us." it was so greet. oh my [ bleep ]. what the [ bleep ]? >> i signed up for one show about zombies. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a real through line there. >> it's like the opposite of your emotions.ere you repress - don't show them to anyone. these people must be on the coasts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe so. you might be right. this is crazy. people are mentioning this to you as they see you? >> it's a tsunami of wonderful, generous plaudits. i mean, we -- the episode began airing on sunday. we had 6.4 million viewers. and hbo

>> duel. >> jimmy: you do? >> i'm a seer, jimmy. >> jimmy: have you seen a ghost? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: were you sure hari styles was real? [ laughter ] >> honestly, i don't know. if it was a ghost, it would make sense. i feel presences, see presences. i had a bit of a misstep. i felt a presence in my home, i thought, i'll cleanse it, google cleanse, what's the big deal? and i think i might have kind of accidentally invited more ghosts in. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> because as i was cleansing, i was trying to be joyful and happy. i was like, "the only spirits allowed here are the positive, good ones." then i realized the next day when the heats were flickering, and like -- i have a cabinet -- >> jimmy: you opened the portal to hell. >> i opened a portal, i welcomed them in. i did need to consult with an expert after that. >> jimmy: where do you get an expert for that sort of thing? >> i just googled "best witch in l.a." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what really? >> yes. she was wonderful. we got the situation sorted. i haven't felt or seen any signs of any more ghosts. >

jimmy kimmel, jimmy fallon, or jimmy buffett >> jimmy fallon. >> jimmy fallon? that's correct! >> leading by three as we get ready to start the third quarter of play. mark jones chopping it up courtside, they're not here to play around, they're serious about this thing. >> i think they're ready for a fun second half. >> i love that. >> he needs to pick on someone his own size. >> come on, that's illegal. >> how do you feel you've been playing so far? >> guillermo: well, i think -- i'm trying my best, i think i'm doing okay. i haven't scored a basket yet but i'm looking forward to score the basket. >> you're saying, give the rock to you? >> guillermo: give me the ball, pass me the ball, yes. >> let me talk to one of your assistant coaches. guillermo thinks he wants the rock more. what do you think of that strategy? >> he's my favorite, we started him. but we want to win as well. >> guillermo -- >> that is the most guillermo thing that you will see tonight. >> so fitting. >> we need to count that as a bucket. >> oh, yeah, oh, yeah. that's my pizza. hey, coach, i ordered pizza. yo

i've got new stuff, jimmy. how about we get together, jimmy? jimmy kimmel. jimmy kimmel. jimmy kimmel. call me up, tell me what you want, what time, i'll be there. jimmy, i haven't heard from you. it's not funny anymore. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, it's still funny. but we missed mike so we accepted his request on one condition. i told mike he was welcome on the show if he agreed to do the interview from inside a dave & buster's claw machine. [ laughter ] and guess what? >> jimmy kimmel has mike lindell, i don't know, round three or farr, thank you for putting yourself through what jimmy kimmel's going to put you through, whatever it's going to be. >> yeah. by the way, everybody, i'm going to be inside of a claw game. inside of a -- you know, where they grab the -- the stuff. because he doesn't want -- you have to be vaccinated there, so it's for his protection. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, hold on. i do want to make something clear. i did not insist mike be in a claw machine because he wasn't vaccinated, i insisted he be in a claw machine because i

seven -- >> jimmy: enough is enough >> -- layer [ laughter ] >> jimmy: take it off. >> seven >> jimmy: hallmark card. >> hallmark card >> jimmy: what yes! plaque psoriasis... the burning, itching. the pain. emerge tremfyant®. with tremfya®, most people saw 90% clearer skin at 16 weeks. the majority of people saw 90% clearer skin even at 5 years. serious allergic reactions may occur. tremfya® may increase your risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you have an infection or symptoms or if you had a vaccine or plan to. emerge tremfyant®. with tremfya®. ask your doctor about tremfya® today. when cold symptoms keep you up, try vicks nyquil severe. just one dose starts to relieve 9 of your worst cold and flu symptoms, to help take you from 9 to none. for max-strength nighttime relief, nyquil severe. some say the world has never been more divided. that we've never been more disconnected. but through our windows... we're able see so much good everyday. and it's clear, that a little kindness.... ...is never really little. ♪ ♪ ♪ meet with an exp

>> jimmy: great job, thank you. >> love you, i love you. >> jimmy: don't encourage him. >> jimmy the best, he's the one make me famous. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: god bless you, yehya. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: oh, god bless you. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: i'd rather goss blessed you tonight. >> god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you and your family. >> and your family. >> jimmy: god bless you. >> you have good heart, too. >> jimmy: god bless guillermo too. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. camila morrone is here. we've got music from walk off the earth. and we'll be right back with the one and only tom cruise. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we need to protect him! >> guillermo: i want to go home. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? tonight, from "daisy jones and the six," camila morrone is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later from ontario, canada, their song is called "my stupid heart." walk off the earth from the mercedes benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we're back at it again with courteney cox, michael b. jordan, jon favreau,

jimmy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my plan for retirement is to become a neil diamond impersonator. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> why? >> jimmy: you did a great job, i'm going to be "neil zirconia." [ laughter ] that will be my name. i've trademarked it so nobody can take from it me. >> that's good, yeah. >> jimmy: bobby, your neil diamond was pretty spot on. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: i'm guessing that wasn't your first go-around with "i am, i said." >> how good is that song? >> jimmy: its great. the lyrics are a combination of fantastic and preposterous. >> it starts out fantastic, right? the story makes perfect sense. then introduces cher. >> jimmy: he says, i am, i said, to no one there, and no one heard it all, not even the chair. it's one of those songs you have to go back and listen again, did he say chair? >> yeah. then there's the thing about frog -- >> audacious, isn't it? >> jimmy: the frog and the -- >> yeah, became one. >> on drugs, do you think? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: neil diamond? e

i want to show everyone a clip >> starring sarah. >> jimmy: starring sarah >> sarah >> jimmy: jimmy. >> jimmy nice to meet youmyca c>> jimmy: nice to meet you [ laughter ] i want to show everyone a clip here's sarah michelle gellar itw "wolf !pack." take a look. >> i need your help, everettmy ou to helpe. me figureiear a ah e out who's e responsibluie forp qudavqu of several peecople aer that iesncludes some of youra e uen usnds who toare on tha at s bus.sh f you're going to hear that the oa ecenocpect acorson that's only part of the truth.ty because it's not just a suspicion.lae d.rq t i knowo for certa in this fihare a cte was causined by arson. i can te jll you i'mlo certain o e other thingsoc the arsonist i ds a teenagraerrs uce might have been even be someone you go to school with.ghimn in fact, it's quite possibleab thinis teenager r was on tguhata with you >> jimmy: come on. that's how you do it [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: sarah michelle gellar! "wolf pack" airs thursdays on paramount plus more "the tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and appla

you were there, jimmy. >> jimmy: was i? >> we were in new york we somehow gotten invited to this thing called "the times 100. and i thought it was segmented out. this is true i thought it was segmented out like around regionally so i thought we were the 100 most influential people in central texas. but they, in fact, meant like a larger spot. >> jimmy: yes, yes >> a larger audience than that so we come to this thing, everybody is there you were there you remember 2019 >> 2019. >> jimmy: of course. >> you were sitting in front of us >> of course like it was yesterday. whenever timberlake says something, you know exactly what he's talking about. [ laughter ] but if i mention some bro moment, you have no idea what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: we were bro-ing out? >> we were bro-ed out, bro >> jimmy: really >> so, long story short. we're in an auditorium similar to this. >> jimmy: oh, i remember this. >> taylor swift comes in the whole audience is filled >> but was everyone's mingling everyone's mingling. there was the rock, ma

." >> guillermo: exactly, jimmy, yes. >> jimmy: i missed you. nobody sits on that stool like you. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: thanks, jimmy, i miss you too. >> jimmy: it's groundhog day. again. it keeps happening. early this morning, thousands gathered in gobbler's knob to see punxsutawney phil. gobbler's knob is where phil -- it's not to be confused, there's a male strip club named gobbler's knob. [ laughter ] do not go in there asking to see "the groundhog." i learned that the hard way. [ laughter ] groundhog day is a tradition that was brought to the united states in the 1800s by german settlers. the boring german settlers. [ laughter ] the fun ones brought us beer. but it's a big celebration. complete with all sorts of pre-hog entertainment. ♪ wake up phil wake up phil ♪ ♪ wake up phil wake up phil ♪ >> jimmy: i told my wife i'm going to make that song our morning alarm clock. [ laughter ] keep in mind, that's happening at 4:00 in the morning, these maniacs are singing "wake up phil, wake up phil." and the party was just getting start

thank you again for this >> thank you >> jimmy: that is so thoughtful >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: really, i'm so happy you're here. come back whenever >> i love it, i'd love to. >> jimmy: mom, you can bring mom, too >> okay. >> jimmy: kathryn newton, everyone "ant-man and the wasp: quantumania," is in theaters and imax february 17th [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with a a performance from armani white stick around [ cheers and applause ♪ so cozy. how many rooms are in there? should we go check it out? yeah. we get to stay here all weekend! when you stay at a vrbo... i call doing the door code! ...the host doesn't stay with you. it looks exactly like the picture. because without privacy in your vacation home... it's a full log cabin guys. ...it isn't really a vacation... we can snuggle up by the fire. ...is it? wow, oh my- [birds chirping] ♪ remix your routine. ♪ make it a hidden valley ranch night. ♪ ♪ hey, it's just not right. nah, i need to try something... new. [sfx: triangle instrument dings] “ring my bell” by anita ward. audience screams. ♪ ring my

>> jimmy: yeah >> and i'm like -- >> jimmy: yeah, "no, i'm an adult. >> "go sit down. >> jimmy: yeah, "go sit down." yeah, exactly. >> so, yeah, it's cool >> jimmy: you've been in so many great projects. but including "till," you've been nominated for almost every award. the reviews are unbelievable and i would actually like to read a couple reviews. you can plug your ears >> i will. >> jimmy: -- if you don't want to hear about yourself but, all right, here's something from "the wrap." it says "this magnificent performance elevates deadwyler into the ranks of the great actors of our time." [ cheers and applause >> it is hot, jimmy. >> jimmy: it is hot, right >> my pits are sweating. >> jimmy: "this is a a career-defining performance that'll likely lead her to become one of the most highly sought after actresses in the business." from "collider." [ cheers and applause >> jimmy, you wrote that >> jimmy: no, that's for real, from "collider." "her performance here is nothing short of magnificent and powerful." that's from "screen rant." [ cheers and applause the last one >> okay, finally

>> jimmy: walzer >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer >> we have an "l." we have an "l. >> jimmy: oh, walzer when does the "l" come in? >> the third >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer walzer >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer >> yeah, almost. >> jimmy: walzer oh my gosh >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: didn't help me at all. [ cheers and applause no, it's terrible. christoph walzer [ cheers and applause christoph waltz. ♪ >> steve: you know what, it's chris waltz. [ laughter ] let's make it easy on ourselves. >> jimmy: no, not at all either way, is the guy bad in anything you ever seen in your life >> steve: never. >> jimmy: he is fantastic in every single thing i love the guy so much no matter what you call him [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, shut your mouth i'm talking about christoph. >> jimmy: yeah ♪ >> steve: thank you. wow. >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: it's that kind of day, right >> jimmy: you know what i'm saying >> steve: it's friday, though. >> jimmy: yeah, but he's here. he's here. christoph is here. [ cheers and applause i do love the guy. plus, you can see her in the n

totally. >> jimmy: -- as it was driving by >> yeah. >> jimmy: i handled it very well >> yeah. >> jimmy: racing is in my blood. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but tonight's serious. there's a lot at stake here. pride is on the line >> yes >> jimmy: so, you have agreed to help train to get me ready for the race >> i think you are, like, the ideal candidate to beat the best formula 1 drivers in the world. you're perfect >> jimmy: thank you. are we -- did we get that on tape >> yes >> jimmy: did we record it because that is -- finally someone's saying that. [ cheers and applause >> yeah. ♪ [ race car engine >> first thing we have to do, is visualize yourself behind the wheel. >> jimmy: okay >> so, close your eyes >> jimmy: yep. >> and then steer the wheel. that's it, yep so, you're racing right now. and then you're pressing the throttle press the throttle, press the throttle and then don't forget honking the horn you've got to honk the horn. yeah >> jimmy: this is going to help me win the race? >> no, actually it's for my tiktok ♪ [ cheers and applause [ race car engine >> jimmy: okay, jim, it's t

woo-hoo >> jimmy: do you feel the love >> jimmy: yahoo! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> audience: yahoo >> jimmy: oh, paul - >> thank you good to see you. >> jimmy: it is great to see you. dude, you look great, as always look at you on the cover of "men's health" magazine, looking like a stud. ♪ >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no we can't - >> audience: yahoo >> thank you you're embarrassing me >> jimmy: no >> bringing out "men's health" already, out of the gate >> jimmy: no, i did it on your intro. >> very sweet of you >> jimmy: you're a stud. this is awesome. you know, it's funny, because your co-star, jonathan majors, also was on the cover of "men's health." >> yeah. it's strange, because, normally, you're doing a movie and they ask you to do a a magazine cover, and here we are, "men's health." but this time they did both of us both actors from the movie >> jimmy: were you worried that it would be similar photographs? >> a little. i mean, a little bit, because, you know, i don't know if you've seen "men's health. they sometimes will -- they'll

for now, jimmy kimmel. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, milo ventimiglia, carles barkley, and music from paramore. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. very nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. happy valentine's night. thank you for coming. thank you for sharing the romance. love is in the air. or maybe it's just another chinese spy balloon. i don't know. [ laughter ] for those who are watching at home, thank you for taking a break from what was no doubt a vigorous night of love-making. it's good to watch you do it. [ laughter ] valentine's day, as you know, was created by the hallmark corporation as a way to ruin your marriage. [ laughter ] guillermo, did you do what needed to be done? >> guillermo: yes, of course. >> jimmy: you got flowers? >> guillermo: flowers, chocolate, and wine. >> jimmy: oh, flowers, chocolate, and wine. what about a card? are you stopping at cvs on the way home? >> guillermo: i already got it. >> jimmy: cvs is like an episode

> yeah. >> jimmy: the answer - >> true. >> jimmy: water -- >> it's wet. >> jimmy: but why would he ask us that? is water wet >> questlove: is it? >> he wouldn't mess with us. he wouldn't mess with us >> jimmy: is water wet [ audience yelling ] what do you mean no? yes. >> yes it's wet it's wet >> questlove: answer the question, please is water wet >> jimmy: i'm just going to say -- >> true. >> jimmy: yes. >> questlove: well, the answer - >> may surprise you. >> jimmy: may surprise you [ music sting >> questlove: -- may surprise you. [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause that is incorrect. whatever is filled with water is wet, but water itself is not wet. >> jimmy: aaron judge, everybody. water is not wet we're talking to aaron after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: now and then, i go to the games. and i -- it's just interesting i just figured while you're here, i just -- you never look over at me you never go like -- [ laughter ] >> hold on, jimmy. hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on [ laughter ] i try. but every time i look over, you're taking selfies

and jimmy is looking exit stage right. >> now majesty and benji are giving jimmy kibble >> jimmy kibble with the paws to >> jimmy: is anybody going to help jimmy kibble out there? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what's wrong with people? by the way, all of this, the game, the commercials, the halftime show, the puppy bowl, guillermo in this costume -- [ laughter ] it's all an elaborate cover-up to distract us from the ufos suddenly plaguing our country. have you been following this? all of a sudden, there are more ufos than chick-fil-as. [ laughter ] the air force shot down another unidentified flying object yesterday, the third one in four days. i never in a million years thought i'd say this, but where the hell is the space force? [ laughter ] why are they a thing? the white house today announced they formed an interagency team to look into what's going on. after initially refusing to rule it out, today, they said they do not believe these are extraterrestrial visits. which is exactly what they say at the beginning of every movie about extraterrestrial visits. [ laughter ] they d

>> guillermo: no, jimmy, it's too hard. >> jimmy: it's too hard? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever tried to give up anything for lent? >> guillermo: i did one year, alcohol, but it didn't work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: didn't work. >>. >> guillermo: did not work. >> jimmy: it's hard to give things you love up for 40 days, but i will say when easter finally comes, and you get into all those delicious hard-boiled eggs? it's so worth it. [ laughter ] much of the country is dealing with extreme winter weather. more than 1,500 flights were canceled today, or as southwest airlines calls it, "not a bad wednesday!" [ laughter ] for the first time in decades, the national weather service issued a blizzard warning for parts of l.a. county this week and weekend. in las vegas, which often gives us a preview of weather we are about to see, they had 45 mile an hour winds. look at this. the wind was blowing so hard, port-a-potties were moving across parking lots on their own. remember that old game of electronic football? it's rare that a scene from "jack

. >> jimmy: yes it is! [ laughter ] you look great [ cheers and applause our thanks to the randy darden hair salon for this wonderful perm happy perm week, everyone. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with super bowl champion travis kelce [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ it's perm wee on the fallon show it's puyerm week s oh my god ♪ ♪ you gotta fight for your right to party ♪ ♪ ♪ you gotta fight for your right♪di♪ to party ♪ l. i know what you're thinking - it's cool, i don't want anything too serious either. just a fun, spontaneous thing. i'm looking for someone who will let loose. dress up a little. see a show. order the steak and the lobster. some people say i'm excessive, but who cares. i'm just looking for a saturday to remember, and a sunday by the pool. think you can keep up? your record label is taking off. but so is your sound engineer. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. indeed instant match instantly delivers quality candidates matching your job description. vi

>> jimmy: you feeling good >> i feel good about this. >> jimmy: you do >> i think so. >> jimmy: go for it, man >> you said break it here? >> jimmy: yeah >> all right, here we go one, two, three. ooh. >> jimmy: ooh. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> all right we're off to a good start. >> steve: that one >> jimmy: that one's a little shiny. >> that's shiny. i'm scared of that one >> jimmy: i'm scared of the shiny one. i'm going to pick that one -- that one >> yeah. >> audience: yeah, yeah. >> that looks cooked to me >> jimmy: somebody said, "why not? >> steve: "why not?" [ laughter ] >> why not oh, this is fun. >> jimmy: i don't feel good about this it's not fun is it fun? >> yeah. come on. >> jimmy: are you having fun >> come on ♪ [ cheers and applause yes. >> jimmy: i just squashed it - >> that was amazing. [ applause ] all right. >> jimmy: that was it. >> all right >> steve: 6-4. >> jimmy: that felt like it was going to be raw. "whoa, that means -- >> whoa. >> jimmy: -- there's a lot of raw guys in there, bud [ laughter ] >> oh, man all right, i'm going to go with this one >> jimmy: ooh

>> jimmy. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: don't tell my wife, okay? [ laughter ] i'm really just the plus-one, to be honest. but it's great to have you guys here. the movie is called "80 for brady." it opens in theaters february 3rd. lily tomlin, jane fonda, rita we'll be right back with jacob latimore. tri-zone. discover the ozempic® in my ozempic® tri-zone, i lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. and you may lose weight. adults lost up to 14 pounds. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction.

. >> jimmy: you are selling real estate. >> correct. >> jimmy: to americans. >> sure. >> jimmy: on the moon. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's set in what appears to be the 1950s. >> you got everything so far. >> jimmy: but it looks like the '50s style, all that kind of stuff. but there are these awesome devices like these cars that float. >> yep. >> jimmy: and popcorn that makes itself. >> that's right. >> jimmy: in a popcorn popper. like the jetsons, really. >> we call that the retro future. >> jimmy: the retro future. >> in the tv world. so i think probably the writers are thinking what's a good way to tell a story about america in the past and in the future - and a bit of the present. so america tends to be a very hopeful, optimistic country. the people who came here were probably looking for promise of a better future. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we sell that a lot in our products. and so i think the idea of this, it being a part of the past, part of the future, part of the present, what happens if we're only selling hope? do we ever actually live in the present moment. jack is a believe

no [ laughter ] >> jimmy: never? >> no. >> jimmy: never? >> i never -- no i never saw a resemblance really, no >> jimmy: yeah well let me show everyone a picture. this is you as princess diana and then the real princess diana [ cheers and applause i mean, kind of insane that's unbelievable. it -- did it -- that's fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so, you go into the audition did you know that you were auditioning for diana? >> so, it's a weird story. i knew, in a kind of vague way, that i was going to play this part for very -- like, five years. so, i went in and did an audition for a part in season two. >> jimmy: of "the crown. >> of "the crown." and season one had just come out and it was a really big hit and everyone was, rightly so, very excited my agent called me up and said, "well just go in --" basically -- i was so physically wrong for this part and so i went in and i did this pretty bad audition, you know. they kind of stopped me and they were like, "thank -- we'll call you thank you so much," you know >> jimmy: oh, that is the worst.

>> jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, don't call me james. >> jimmy: matthew! >> what's happening? >> jimmy: you are on the show tonight because i begged you to come on because i am so into this book. and i know it's been out for -- is it a year >> almost two years now, i think. >> jimmy: oh, my god [ light laughter ] i'm so sorry i'm so -- but, i do love it. but i -- i'm so into the book. and i loved it, and i read everything it is -- it is charming. it is funny. it is personal you get in there, you tell every single story and i loved it and it's actually made me think. it's just so fun >> awesome >> jimmy: and then my friend said, get the audiobook. and, "you've gotta hear it, it's matthew mcconaughey talking and reading the book." i go, "this is gonna be unbelievable." [ light laughter ] and it is unbelievable you are a fantastic storyteller. one that really stuck in my head, is when you're in high school and you had your truck -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: and -- and having that truck, and what -- what did you -- what was the truck? what did you drive >> the truck was a dodge it was on

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i'm glad you're here. i appreciate that. i don't know if you know this. today is probably the most unproductive work day of the year, super bowl monday. they say almost 19 million americans called in sick to work today. can you believe that, guillermo? wait, where is guillermo? did he -- oh, no, did guillermo call in sick to work today too? oh, wait a minute. [ cheering ] can i just say you did such a great job backing up rihanna at halftime. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i don't know if you saw, guillermo is really the star at the super bowl. there he is. [ cheering ] shining bright like a diamond. rihanna yesterday delivered had to deliver what is the biggest we're expecting in america. when her belly came out, every living room in america stopped waiting for someone, preferably a woman, to say something. everyone was like, "when did she have that baby again?" my wife was looking up her ovulation chart. all hands were on

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome, thank you. hi, everybody. stop it, it's too much. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for braving the elements to be here. wow, you guys must be from out of town. [ laughter ] you must be from strong places. we saw weather today we don't see here. we got hit with rain, hail, and even a light dusting of snow in southern california, in hollywood. it even had the audacity to snow on the hollywood sign. [ laughter ] and of course, everybody's complaining about how -- this is a great example of how different l.a. is from other places. the earth itself moves in the middle of the night and we don't even get out of bed, but a tiny bit of snow? we will not leave the house, we're scared. [ laughter ] you okay, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's freaking cold, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: italso when the last time you saw snow here? >> guillermo: oh, wow. a long time ago. >> jimmy: and he's an actual snowman. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: yeah, long time ago, yeah. >> jimmy: by the way, compared to the rest of

. >> jimmy: oh >> and, yeah, that wasn't great. >> jimmy: yeah >> but - >> jimmy: but you're here tonight. and thank you -- >> i mean, congrats to the chiefs, by the way >> jimmy: yeah, congrats to the chiefs >> congrats to the chiefs. >> jimmy: thank you for coming all the way and doing our show we appreciate this it's also kicking off perm week >> ah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's a big deal. everyone's talking about it. >> by the way, that guy -- he looks amazing. >> jimmy: he looks fantastic, right? yeah >> jimmy: but i asked you if you ever had a perm. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you were nice enough to give us this photo you did have a perm. >> well, technically -- so what's amazing is -- [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: everyone went, "oh." >> yeah. >> jimmy: how cute >> you guys didn't think that i was really going to show up with that. that's actually just my natural hair, jimmy. >> jimmy: is it really >> yeah. i didn't even perm that. i thought that if i got a perm that i would get, like, i don't know, beautiful model curls or something. >> jimmy: yeah >> and so i did a perm on top of

>> jimmy: the best >> steve: the best >> jimmy: jetes! >> steve: jeter! >> jimmy: my favorite. >> steve: lovely >> jimmy: i was so lucky to see most of his important big milestone games. i used to go to the games all the time with lorne michaels and we used to sit there and i'm behind - you know, sometimes we'd end up on camera, because the seats are right behind home plate. but i just never knew kind of what to do with my hands so, i would just get kind of nervous. i'm like, "come on, derek. i was rooting for him all the time so, every time you watch these highlight videos of derek, you could see one nerd in the background going - [ laughter ] and yeah, that's me, yeah. but anyways, derek jeter is here tonight, i love that guy. [ cheers and applause speaking of love, i love her new single, it's called "you only love me." it is out right now. and she stars in season two of the animated series "kung fu panda: the dragon knight" which is streaming now on netflix. rita ora is here [ cheers and applause we're going to talk to rita ora, then she's performing,

. >> i'll just give you your line >> jimmy: yeah, i know >> jimmy >> jimmy: oh, yeah >> that's the last time you chat up my girlfriend. [ punching sound effect [ audience ohs ]n sead cheese shop! and we're the antonellis! do good, eat good. that's our mission. towe chose oowur spark calah plus card from capital one because it gives us unlimited two percent cash back on everything, we buy. and it has no preset spending limit, so our purchasing power adapts to our business needs. we use our two percent cash back to help cover our employees' healthcare costs. that's how we take care of our most valuable asset, our people. it may sound cheesy, but we like it that way! what's in your wallet? ♪♪ (vo) red lobster's finer points of fun dining: there's no wrong way to lobsterfest.our wallet? you can ease in. you can chow down. or you can show off. choose from six delicious dishes, like lobster lover's dream. welcome to fun dining. ♪ ...i'm over 45. ♪ ♪ i realize i'm no spring chicken. ♪ ♪ i know what's right for me. ♪ ♪ i've got a plan to which i'm sticking. ♪ ♪ my doc wrot

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for taking shelter here in. very kind. i have to say, i want to apologize to our visitors from other towns. i hope you had a good weekend. we had some crazy, crazy weather here. when i woke up on sunday, a huge piece of lattice had flown off my roof and onto my car. and that wasn't even the number one weirdest thing that happened. i had like 80 texts sending me an article from "rolling stone" it says "trump white house pressured disney to censor jimmy kimmel." now disney is the company that owns abc, our network. and obviously jimmy kimmel is me. so obviously i was interested in seeing what it was. according to the story, in 2018, donald trump, who was at that time president of the united states was so upset about my jokes that i made about him, he directed staffers at the white house to call disney to kell them to rein me in. the report says at least two calls were made from the trump white house to "co

. >> jimmy: why not, though? i think it's good. >> sure, yeah, no. >> jimmy: people need to know this >> so there's a stunt that happens at the end of the final episode. spoiler alert. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i looked right at you don't spoil. yeah >> i'm not going to do it. don't do it. >> jimmy: yeah >> but anyways, that happens and it was a very exhausting stunt. so i'm leaning against a tree, and next thing you know, my arm is on fire and i'm like, "what is going on?" so one of our bajan crew members looks at me and says, "that's poison tree sap, and that's all over your arm." so i'm like, "oh, that's awesome. >> jimmy: poison tree sap? >> yeah. so they put me in a van, and they started putting ointments on me that i have no idea what it is. i'm just kinda going with the flow so i recover from that and i'm talking to my director sort of like, "i think i'm okay i have a pulse i'm not dying. and i feel something hit me in the back of the head and he's looking at me like -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy

jimmy: okay that may be true. but if i blame accident on norfolk southern, can you not also blame biden administration for the bungled response. our thursday night party panel. former cia officer, chairman and ceo of p portman scsquare group, mike baker and jessica tarlov. diamond dave landau in the house. i start with you, as a resident of midwest and parent, who do you trust more with transportation and trains, computer buttigieg or sir toppen happen. hat, no doubt even drunk. putin is buttigieg is not even capable. the train around the christmas tree. jimmy: maybe on buttigieg. >> baker, you know things. >> i know sir toppen hat does not drink. jimmy: is that true. >> don't put that story out. >> i heard a story he does. jimmy: i have innel f tell for you, a lot of the attempt to pass buck centered around well trumped change the rule, if the change was so egregious should they have not changed it back in the past two and a half years. >> they would have had the opportunity, no surprise one administration blames

jimmy: weird. do you remember a broadway plays producers, they try to tank the play to collect insurance money. i feel that we elected max, and they are trying to tank the -- we should have nathan lane play biden in second term. someone that follows energy markets, if you were intentionally trying to weaken the u.s. of america, could you do a better job than producers in the white house right now. >> i got distracted, i am rewriting lyrics for springtime for hunter and great opportunities. >> boom. >> well, if you have a play, nothing without drugs in the green room, springtime for hungter is hungter is the way to go. >> how many times have a almost shot your tv watching biden in les last two years. >> it beyond frustrating you see struggling mr. ame for american people, and eggs are $8 a dozen. and state of union he does not mention security for america, for biden to talk about the rosie economy, neither he or vice president or none of them go grocery stores shopping or fill up their cars, the res

i specifically for jimmy carter and say i want to see what you have, jimmy carter. so there was something so there's an orientation program which i've never forgotten because there weren't many people research at the end. and so they pulled out their top gun. well, second top gun, i guess martindale's the interview because they teach you how to presidential library. so martin was explaining to me. he was explaining all different kinds of records, executive subject records, difficult auctions and records and. this just went on for about an hour. and they usually this in ten or 15 minutes. but i was pushed. it went out about an hour and then martin looks at that and and i must have a very blank look on my face. and he said you know, i have no idea what you're going to do when you walk through those doors. and, you know he was remarkably because i had no idea that those but i finished it. you know, i mentioned the name jody powell because i knew he was pretty close to a card. and i said, well, that start by looking at the at the jody pilot fact i did want to tell marti

what do you say jimmy. >> jimmy: first of all, anyone who says women over 50 aren't in their prime has never seen my search history. allow me to submit to the record cougars 5. but don lemon is at least trying to play good ball, because he has at least come to the realizesation, there's no market for him if this doesn't work out. >> greg: that's right. >> jimmy: don lemon is the journalism job as bill cosby is to bartending jobs. i don't doubt somebody would hire them but they would be sleeping through the interview if they did. i think that's the problem. piers made the bigger point. okay. not that he should be fired for sexism if you fire him it's that he should be fired for stupid. you never want to hear yourself on live interview say google it why? that's what you want to do at a bar to throw them off. i'm right bro goggle it get another shot. >> kat: what if his training was to watch milf manor. i watched five episodes last night. they are not slowing down. >> that's for sure. >> greg: coming up south park dresses down brats from the british crown. >> greg: was south park too mean

host of fox across america, jimmy failla! [cheers and applause] >> greg: and finally loveable is one of the many words people never use to describe her. >> oh. >> greg: oh shut up. fox news contributor kat timpf! [cheers and applause] >> greg: first of all, professor, i really enjoyed your last book. >> jimmy: thank you. >> greg: and thank you for giving me those extra office hours after class. >> jimmy: you know what? that's the least i can do for how you behaved. i don't have a joke for this. it's horrible. this is what people get fired for these jokes. >> greg: yes, that's true. but you know what? if i get murdered, rob, i would prefer that you go to the brews and say, we need to catch these bastards and put them behind bars. i don't think i would want anybody on my side of the family or your side of the family, when we do decide, to say no, because that's not your right. that is not your right. >> jimmy: yeah, i would just say, if that, god forbid that should happen to you i think what i will do is call fox and say, so yo