WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.650 --> 00:00:08.530 align:start position:0% [Music] this episode of Dana being Dana is brought to you in part by grow Wellness Group a naperville-based full service provider of therapy coaching and mental Wellness services [Music] I'm Dana Michelle and I'm thrilled you're with us my show is all about different aspects of the human connection things that bring us together and living life intentionally we are living now in a time of great uncertainty and we have all experienced incredible Life Changes in this pandemic jobs loved ones homes death grief is real and it lasts longer than many believe getting unstuck from where you are is hard starting a new chapter can be hard moving forward can sometimes feel impossible but there is help intentional ways of changing your mindset Focus or getting unstuck include self-care and mindset work through the form of therapy coaching or counseling joining me today are professionals and friends of mine in this space I think it's important to note that to get engaged in this type of self-care and proactivity it doesn't necessarily have to be a catalytic or catastrophic event that brings you to that but what does it mean to be unstuck or blocked it's a general feeling of dissatisfaction you can't quite can't put your finger on it it's more of a just your your your life doesn't look like your desires you are unable to call in the things that you really want and a lot of the times people want to change they just don't know where to begin so it's important to have tools and to intentionally seek them out when we when we talk about um getting started you know taking some of those first steps how influential is your past to address the challenges that keep you stuck my past had a lot of bullying and a lot of things that happened to me and um I just was one of these stubborn I'm ready to go I'm ready to show myself show what I can do and um I think that always led me into what I'm doing now as an entrepreneur always led me into being my own person and I was just not going to take any of that bullying and be inside I wanted it to grow so I wanted to show them that I can I can do what I'm able to do I like what you said about bullying because many people are impacted by traumas yes and they don't even know it no um how how do you overcome that so I think the first step really is recognizing that you've been impacted by a trauma I think a lot of times we associate traumas with these really like big catastrophic events but that doesn't have to be the case at all and things like something that children going through bullying or going through divorce or things like that can also be traumatic and I really think that the first step is just being able to acknowledge and kind of recognize the fact that I have been impacted by this and I do need to do something about it because it's affecting me whether it's creating you know bad energy or mistakes or problems I think it's also important to forgive yourself is forgiveness and how is forgiveness involved in a healthy mindset I think it's incredibly important I don't think we understand how heavy the energy of unforgiveness is I actually realized that I needed to do some work in that when I had a Reiki session where the practitioner told me I had I was holding on to some energy actually um regarding my divorce and then I needed to really forgive my ex-husband to move on and it really did make a difference and I have this practice that I use when I'm having a a tough time with someone I'll light a candle for them during my meditation for 30 days and don't get into the issue I'll just you know say their names and Enlighten love and amazingly enough within that 30-day space either the person's Behavior changes or you don't care anymore and it's super powerful and you know sometimes you have to revisit it you know it's a process with certain people but you know it's really powerful and that's something that has been really helpful for me and on the topic of forgiveness I mean forgiving others so we can be set free from that but self-forgiveness and practicing that and I think that's important to note the Forgiveness of oneself you know in addition to other people that self-reflection uh and personal accountability how does that play into getting unstuck I think it's everything because you have to own your stuff before you can really heal and I think what I teach is to it as an empowering thing not as something that you need to run from because of it like an ego thing you know a lot of people don't want to own their stuff because especially as women we have to pretend like we're perfect and social media and like all this stuff and so people kind of never really dig deep because they don't like look at their stuff but I think you cannot truly heal or transform until you address your stuff and figure out what it is you need to work on and then from there and then once you do that and you see the change behavior and you're life changing it's super empowering and it's nothing to be afraid of from there it's leaning into that pain sometimes to channeling it into that positive energy that we can actually use it as fuel as you said Sharon being bullied taking that and actually using it to empower you and fuel your your vision or your desire actually made me stronger so and I always I I used to it was a personal trainer before and I had a client that was bullied belly and I said you're going to be a stronger adult because you were bullied because you're going to find yourself and you're going to be able to you know show them that you know insecure people are the ones that are bullied right not secure people the most important part of that is choice right making the choice to channel that energy into something positive and productive rather than allowing it to weigh you down right yeah choosing that I think goes back to some of the stuff that we've talked about regarding that mindset you know and making that choice I think adversity can make you so much stronger and owning it you know being accountable um and also forgiving yourself is is so important it's important uh to make sure that you're making healthy choices Christina you talked before about you know that what you put into your body shows up on the outside what does that mean yeah I mean you can look it up from every aspect you know if you have allergies if you have inflammation if you are sick if you're depressed you're dehydrated your minerals are off your nutrients are off right because you're not taking care of yourself so it all correlates at all it all ties in those things are also important right the old saying of we are what we eat there's a lot of Truth to that but what about we are what we consume in in terms of the content that we take in social media I've started to follow a lot more positive content mental health related content and that has made a world of difference in how I view myself you know again that coming out on the outside the frustrations that can come out just due to taking a negative or pessimistic content and I think that people like social media can kind of get a bad rep sometimes because it really is about you just being intentional you can curate your feed like absolutely only see great memes in puppies it's not a traumatizing place for me because I accept the intention with my morning routine and I'm focused about the types of things I consume so inside outside it's the same thing right you're talking a lot about the energy and and I think that's important to note because and you said this before you know to focus on what you want focus on the positivity focus on the good focus on your goals uh versus what can go wrong the setbacks the anxieties the concerns because you really can spiral you know I've done that my own self before and it's important to to focus on the good stuff how does energy play into all of this oh my goodness we're we're 100 energy our whole body radiates it and uh we have a massage called the Healer which actually is an energy balancing massage and I had it done not too long ago and she would after the massage she would Place her hand on certain parts of my body and then she read me and she read my energy and she was spot on I mean she she said things like I was bullied before she knew that in me and so we are just is one big energy ball and how we project and and I mean my massage therapists their hands are just amazing and I mean there are times when they've even put their hand on their head and it it jolts them because we have too much going on in our brain and um and they feel that so it's just amazing the you know to balance out your energy we we are energy and energy is power what does it mean to understand your power I think it's important to know that every thought we think every word we say carries a vibration and we attract like energy based on those thoughts and words so like you said earlier it's so important to focus on what you desire not focusing not spending a lot of time in the things that are not working not ignoring them I think you should have a framework on how to unpack because it's valuable information and the things that aren't working as well well but it should not be the focus we we deal with it we move on and we get focused on what we desire very powerful it's very powerful I want to talk about doubt especially when you are trying to get started um in the in the midst of a big leap forward you know you're you're almost there to your big Breaking Point you're almost ready to try something new to do something different what advice do you have for people who are mired in doubt I think the one thing I would say at the outset is don't try to kind of deny the doubt is there I think we've all had times where we doubt ourselves and we try to push it to the side and then it just keeps getting worse and worse and I think just acknowledging that it's there and then doing what you can to support yourself in the moment too I think is important in terms of reaching out for help the self-care but just kind of not beating yourself up for doubting yourself because I think that's something we all do from time to time right I think that support that positive reinforcement surrounding yourself your environment curating you know not just social media but also the people that you're connected to right you can know someone for a very long time and they may not be positive for you um they that may not be a healthy connection and and I think maybe connecting with people you know and things that that do support you that do uplift you right I think is critical we're going to take a quick break don't go away we'll be right back [Music] we all have a story to share stories others can relate to whether moments of sorrow or of Hope and inspiration whether a story of struggle or a moment of Victory every little moment captured and shared helps us to feel more informed helps us to feel more engaged with and connected to the community we all call home every little moment captured and shared adds up to something greater for us that something is the collective story of Naperville a city rich in its volunteer Spirit its diversity its traditions and celebrations and so much more in Naperville there are so many stories worth sharing and for the past 35 years it's been our honor to tell those stories and share them with you [Music] foreign this episode of Dana being Dana is brought to you in part by grow Wellness Group a naperville-based full service provider of therapy coaching and mental Wellness services [Music] welcome back to Dana being Dana we are we are friends in getting unstuck moving forward and finding your purpose if it's professional or personal well I think you have to probably start with the personal and I think that can inform the professional so you know when you get your mind clear about who you are what you want I think it would it's actually most beneficial then to determine what the professional should be and where I often start with my clients Dana is identifying our personal values so once we know what really is important to us what matters the most in our personal lives then that can be reflected in our professional lives well and it's also creating boundaries and you know again surrounding yourself with the right content the right people and whether that be on social media or in your personal life you know it's really um it's really starting with yourself I absolutely think that's the most critical because if you are not giving yourself a hundred percent there's no way that you can bring that to a profession of any kind right in understanding your passions passions are very important and if it's you're portraying your passion people are going to see that they're going to see that you love what you're doing love what you you know want to help I've always wanted to help people and it you know and if you have that passion inside you and you portray it they're gonna believe you they're gonna say oh she really does want to help me right and it's reflected in your work too right like you provide better work you put better quality work out because you're taking care of yourself you feel good you're confident in what you are doing as a person and that reflects in your profession your energy and that's why that self-care is so important um can you talk a little bit more about self-care particularly when you're trying to grow and trying to do something that could be different or uncomfortable well Dana when I have been seeing with the women that I've met they don't give themselves enough me time you know we're we're in a job we're working all day long we're taking care of the kids we're cooking we're doing everything and they feel guilty that they're taking an hour for themselves and when I see them come to the you know Boutique I'm like you know this is just for you time to relax time to let go of all the stress and it's very hard for them to do that sometimes and um we have to we have to give ourselves a break and say we we need to study and work on ourselves and and relax and take a break and that's very important you know to give that self me time you know if even if it's exercising I mean I'm I was a personal trainer um I enjoy exercising and and exercising to me takes away all the stresses it helps with stress and and keeps a balance in your life and um gotta get into that me time and there's this common misconception that self-care is selfish when it's really the most selfless thing that we can do in order to show up for others in our lives to show up for ourselves right right it's boundaries that's more it's not just like going to the spa I think even creating a boundary of I'm going to go to the spa it's not just about you know the physical it's about creating space for you and setting boundaries and saying no and putting yourself first sometimes so that you can pour from a full cut you know so to speak spending time with yourself really cultivating that most important relationship with which is with ourselves I think all of this is so important and you know it's been great reminders you know for me in my own life and in terms of self-care prioritizing yourself taking your time being present being in the space um how have you used these tools in your own life or on your own Journey oh for me I mean it's been incredible personally um really getting out of depression getting out of that stuck mindset um you know at the end of the day no one can do it for you you have to show up for yourself oh and I just want to say too I've always I guess as a male had not an aversion but always a little afraid of the spa and stuff but I have started doing that recently and I know I'm in a room full of wonderful women here but to any males don't be afraid to do that to go out and treat yourself and just do nice things for yourself because it really does make a big difference yeah and it's it's important not just for women um for men too you know whether you're a parent or whether you're just a professional self-care is important it's vital to your success and it's vital to your mental health you know making sure that you take time to exercise and put the right nutrients in your body or you know get a massage get a facial um whatever it is that really gives you that time and to really sit with yourself and your thoughts you're really talking about quality of life here right I mean taking care of ourselves so that we can not just live longer but live happier healthier more productive lives absolutely yeah absolutely and I think taking care of the personal is so important but I also think when you do take care of the personalized we've discussed it can benefit you in the start you know of your project of your passion of your business several of you are entrepreneurs or entrepreneurial how has that directly impacted that aspect of your lives hmm well I have to say that I'm a better employer than I am an employee I would say that that has always been my passion again to help people so I wanted to create a an environment where everybody feels that they're they're valid and they're important to our Boutique and um so I mean I feel that um being an entrepreneur is something that um is a challenge but yet I um it fits my personality it fits my passion that I I want to help others and um so I open I've always been an entrepreneurial and having that entrepreneurial spirit I think the most important thing is to practice gratitude because we can get caught up in saying well if I just hit this next step if I just accomplish this next goal life will look this certain way but if we can really be present ground ourselves and be mindful and be grateful for what we do have in this moment then more will come to us and it is that energy right it's gonna draw you towards what what you desire right yeah very true because I think that one of the mistakes people make with manifestation or calling things in is waiting until the thing happens we have to embody the thing and then again from an energy perspective we call it in so it's about being joyful if you think that money or the relationship is going to make you happy just be happy and then you're more much more likely to draw it in some people who are watching and I hope this episode is very helpful you know are hearing all this and it sounds great you know but they they're stuck they're stuck after a divorce they're stuck after a job displacement they're stuck being overwhelmed or depressed or not taking enough time for themselves and so in many ways we can block our own blessings and be in our own way what is the first step that you recommend in terms of getting out of your own way well I think again and I've already said something kind of along these lines but I think again it's recognition and it's realizing that you are in your own way in the first place just one example I can think of is maybe someone who's had bad experiences in relationships and now they're kind of closed off they don't want to open up as much they struggle to reach out to people but they're feeling lonely yeah and I think then it's kind of a case of that something bad happened to you that was really hurtful but now it's kind of caused you to feel stuck I think a lot of it too is um just taking baby steps you know people often have this misconception that um you have to be super successful the first time you try it at all has to go well and it's acknowledging that any progress is progress you know it doesn't matter how small it is it doesn't matter if you slip up you're human that's natural it's really just saying like okay this happened it's okay and I'm going to celebrate my success no matter how small learning to recalibrate you know and get back to after a setback or recognizing you know that that you're holding yourself back uh recalibrating getting back to that you know so so that you're able to jump in you know and you're you're motivated and positive about a new relationship after a bad breakup or you're motivated to get that job after being you know let go from from a job um any final advice any anything you want to share about um how important it is to to take care of yourself to work on your mindset and to go out there and chase you know your dreams your goals Dean I just want to say for final thoughts as that first step that will talked about is acknowledging what's taking place within us and then Christina said you know taking baby steps and I think one of those really important First Steps could be to find support whatever that looks like you know a friend a family member or potentially a counselor or a professional who you can turn to for not only that support but accountability and those really important reminders that people are posting highlight reels of their lives and we are all just humans with the same struggles the same types of pain we want to lean into that pain and channel it towards positive energy towards good one of the things that helped me a lot in my healing was understanding my humanness understanding as a human with a brain that you're not supposed to be able to change a habit overnight it's literally physically impossible so I I stopped judging myself you know when I was having a hard time changing and understanding that was really freeing for me I think everyone should invest in themselves and create whatever arsenal of tools they need whether it be therapy spiritual support self-care with the massages and things like that and and be very okay with it being whatever works for you it doesn't have to look like what everybody else is doing whatever works for you and um investing yourself really investing in yourself we spend so much time money energy on other people especially as moms we have to invest in ourselves so I would definitely recommend uh looking into tools that support your healing I I think my final thought would be just kind of in the vein of Molly said and when you're reaching out for help really congratulate yourself for that and recognize that that in itself is a big step because a lot of the times reaching out for help can be really hard and so I think even if you're in the process of going to counseling going to physical therapy whatever it is to address whatever issues you're facing give yourself a pat on the back because that in itself is a tough thing to do I think for me um you know it's it's all of those things but it's really taking a look at what you're in taking in your body um it is the mental health but it's also really important to take a look at the nutrients you're putting into your body you know are you eating right are you taking the right supplements um when you're deficient in certain vitamins and minerals you will feel it you'll feel it in your body you'll feel it mentally um you'll feel sluggish you're fatigued you can't think straight you have a foggy brain you could even start to see some effects on your skin your hair you know your hair will fall out from stress your Skin's breaking out or you're having um all sorts of problems that you didn't have before so it really is taking a look at your mental health but also what are you putting into your body you know are you are you eating processed foods are you filling your body with junk food essentially you know or are you eating a well-balanced diet um you know right it all it all correlates yeah totally totally agree with you Christina and and then a little uh component of that have time for relaxation we don't do enough of that you know have time to turn it off turn completely social media off television off everything off and relax you know getting eight hours nine hours of sleep that's extremely important for our health for our mental health and for our whole physical body and um I I mean I'm all about eating right and supplements and everything like that but we forget about we need to have some down time to relax to turn it off that's the hardest thing I think for most people is to turn it off and uh just we have the sound of the waves in our massage and uh we just absolutely turns your brain off we are inherently valuable so taking that time and releasing ourselves of that guilt or that shame for actually taking care of ourselves is most important relax reset and recharge yeah we all need to do that and that recharge is so important and I appreciate that that very important reminder change or New Beginnings are both courageous and scary but with great risk is the opportunity for great reward if you find yourself in a valley remember that the best view comes after the hardest climb believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who do too courage is rewarded thank you to my guests for the work that you do in this space special thanks to grow Wellness Group for bringing awareness to this very important topic hopefully you have been entertained if not encouraged or inspired I do not promise to be an expert nor do I have all the answers I'm just Dana being Dana see you next time this episode of Dana being Dana is brought to you in part by grow Wellness Group a naperville-based full service provider of therapy coaching and mental Wellness services [Music] 00:00:08.530 --> 00:00:11.150 align:start position:0% [Music] this episode of Dana being Dana is brought to you in part by grow Wellness Group a naperville-based full service provider of therapy coaching and mental Wellness services [Music] I'm Dana Michelle and I'm thrilled you're with us my show is all about different aspects of the human connection things that bring us together and living life intentionally we are living now in a time of great uncertainty and we have all experienced incredible Life Changes in this pandemic jobs loved ones homes death grief is real and it lasts longer than many believe getting unstuck from where you are is hard starting a new chapter can be hard moving forward can sometimes feel impossible but there is help intentional ways of changing your mindset Focus or getting unstuck include self-care and mindset work through the form of therapy coaching or counseling joining me today are professionals and friends of mine in this space I think it's important to note that to get engaged in this type of self-care and proactivity it doesn't necessarily have to be a catalytic or catastrophic event that brings you to that but what does it mean to be unstuck or blocked it's a general feeling of dissatisfaction you can't quite can't put your finger on it it's more of a just your your your life doesn't look like your desires you are unable to call in the things that you really want and a lot of the times people want to change they just don't know where to begin so it's important to have tools and to intentionally seek them out when we when we talk about um getting started you know taking some of those first steps how influential is your past to address the challenges that keep you stuck my past had a lot of bullying and a lot of things that happened to me and um I just was one of these stubborn I'm ready to go I'm ready to show myself show what I can do and um I think that always led me into what I'm doing now as an entrepreneur always led me into being my own person and I was just not going to take any of that bullying and be inside I wanted it to grow so I wanted to show them that I can I can do what I'm able to do I like what you said about bullying because many people are impacted by traumas yes and they don't even know it no um how how do you overcome that so I think the first step really is recognizing that you've been impacted by a trauma I think a lot of times we associate traumas with these really like big catastrophic events but that doesn't have to be the case at all and things like something that children going through bullying or going through divorce or things like that can also be traumatic and I really think that the first step is just being able to acknowledge and kind of recognize the fact that I have been impacted by this and I do need to do something about it because it's affecting me whether it's creating you know bad energy or mistakes or problems I think it's also important to forgive yourself is forgiveness and how is forgiveness involved in a healthy mindset I think it's incredibly important I don't think we understand how heavy the energy of unforgiveness is I actually realized that I needed to do some work in that when I had a Reiki session where the practitioner told me I had I was holding on to some energy actually um regarding my divorce and then I needed to really forgive my ex-husband to move on and it really did make a difference and I have this practice that I use when I'm having a a tough time with someone I'll light a candle for them during my meditation for 30 days and don't get into the issue I'll just you know say their names and Enlighten love and amazingly enough within that 30-day space either the person's Behavior changes or you don't care anymore and it's super powerful and you know sometimes you have to revisit it you know it's a process with certain people but you know it's really powerful and that's something that has been really helpful for me and on the topic of forgiveness I mean forgiving others so we can be set free from that but self-forgiveness and practicing that and I think that's important to note the Forgiveness of oneself you know in addition to other people that self-reflection uh and personal accountability how does that play into getting unstuck I think it's everything because you have to own your stuff before you can really heal and I think what I teach is to it as an empowering thing not as something that you need to run from because of it like an ego thing you know a lot of people don't want to own their stuff because especially as women we have to pretend like we're perfect and social media and like all this stuff and so people kind of never really dig deep because they don't like look at their stuff but I think you cannot truly heal or transform until you address your stuff and figure out what it is you need to work on and then from there and then once you do that and you see the change behavior and you're life changing it's super empowering and it's nothing to be afraid of from there it's leaning into that pain sometimes to channeling it into that positive energy that we can actually use it as fuel as you said Sharon being bullied taking that and actually using it to empower you and fuel your your vision or your desire actually made me stronger so and I always I I used to it was a personal trainer before and I had a client that was bullied belly and I said you're going to be a stronger adult because you were bullied because you're going to find yourself and you're going to be able to you know show them that you know insecure people are the ones that are bullied right not secure people the most important part of that is choice right making the choice to channel that energy into something positive and productive rather than allowing it to weigh you down right yeah choosing that I think goes back to some of the stuff that we've talked about regarding that mindset you know and making that choice I think adversity can make you so much stronger and owning it you know being accountable um and also forgiving yourself is is so important it's important uh to make sure that you're making healthy choices Christina you talked before about you know that what you put into your body shows up on the outside what does that mean yeah I mean you can look it up from every aspect you know if you have allergies if you have inflammation if you are sick if you're depressed you're dehydrated your minerals are off your nutrients are off right because you're not taking care of yourself so it all correlates at all it all ties in those things are also important right the old saying of we are what we eat there's a lot of Truth to that but what about we are what we consume in in terms of the content that we take in social media I've started to follow a lot more positive content mental health related content and that has made a world of difference in how I view myself you know again that coming out on the outside the frustrations that can come out just due to taking a negative or pessimistic content and I think that people like social media can kind of get a bad rep sometimes because it really is about you just being intentional you can curate your feed like absolutely only see great memes in puppies it's not a traumatizing place for me because I accept the intention with my morning routine and I'm focused about the types of things I consume so inside outside it's the same thing right you're talking a lot about the energy and and I think that's important to note because and you said this before you know to focus on what you want focus on the positivity focus on the good focus on your goals uh versus what can go wrong the setbacks the anxieties the concerns because you really can spiral you know I've done that my own self before and it's important to to focus on the good stuff how does energy play into all of this oh my goodness we're we're 100 energy our whole body radiates it and uh we have a massage called the Healer which actually is an energy balancing massage and I had it done not too long ago and she would after the massage she would Place her hand on certain parts of my body and then she read me and she read my energy and she was spot on I mean she she said things like I was bullied before she knew that in me and so we are just is one big energy ball and how we project and and I mean my massage therapists their hands are just amazing and I mean there are times when they've even put their hand on their head and it it jolts them because we have too much going on in our brain and um and they feel that so it's just amazing the you know to balance out your energy we we are energy and energy is power what does it mean to understand your power I think it's important to know that every thought we think every word we say carries a vibration and we attract like energy based on those thoughts and words so like you said earlier it's so important to focus on what you desire not focusing not spending a lot of time in the things that are not working not ignoring them I think you should have a framework on how to unpack because it's valuable information and the things that aren't working as well well but it should not be the focus we we deal with it we move on and we get focused on what we desire very powerful it's very powerful I want to talk about doubt especially when you are trying to get started um in the in the midst of a big leap forward you know you're you're almost there to your big Breaking Point you're almost ready to try something new to do something different what advice do you have for people who are mired in doubt I think the one thing I would say at the outset is don't try to kind of deny the doubt is there I think we've all had times where we doubt ourselves and we try to push it to the side and then it just keeps getting worse and worse and I think just acknowledging that it's there and then doing what you can to support yourself in the moment too I think is important in terms of reaching out for help the self-care but just kind of not beating yourself up for doubting yourself because I think that's something we all do from time to time right I think that support that positive reinforcement surrounding yourself your environment curating you know not just social media but also the people that you're connected to right you can know someone for a very long time and they may not be positive for you um they that may not be a healthy connection and and I think maybe connecting with people you know and things that that do support you that do uplift you right I think is critical we're going to take a quick break don't go away we'll be right back [Music] we all have a story to share stories others can relate to whether moments of sorrow or of Hope and inspiration whether a story of struggle or a moment of Victory every little moment captured and shared helps us to feel more informed helps us to feel more engaged with and connected to the community we all call home every little moment captured and shared adds up to something greater for us that something is the collective story of Naperville a city rich in its volunteer Spirit its diversity its traditions and celebrations and so much more in Naperville there are so many stories worth sharing and for the past 35 years it's been our honor to tell those stories and share them with you [Music] foreign this episode of Dana being Dana is brought to you in part by grow Wellness Group a naperville-based full service provider of therapy coaching and mental Wellness services [Music] welcome back to Dana being Dana we are we are friends in getting unstuck moving forward and finding your purpose if it's professional or personal well I think you have to probably start with the personal and I think that can inform the professional so you know when you get your mind clear about who you are what you want I think it would it's actually most beneficial then to determine what the professional should be and where I often start with my clients Dana is identifying our personal values so once we know what really is important to us what matters the most in our personal lives then that can be reflected in our professional lives well and it's also creating boundaries and you know again surrounding yourself with the right content the right people and whether that be on social media or in your personal life you know it's really um it's really starting with yourself I absolutely think that's the most critical because if you are not giving yourself a hundred percent there's no way that you can bring that to a profession of any kind right in understanding your passions passions are very important and if it's you're portraying your passion people are going to see that they're going to see that you love what you're doing love what you you know want to help I've always wanted to help people and it you know and if you have that passion inside you and you portray it they're gonna believe you they're gonna say oh she really does want to help me right and it's reflected in your work too right like you provide better work you put better quality work out because you're taking care of yourself you feel good you're confident in what you are doing as a person and that reflects in your profession your energy and that's why that self-care is so important um can you talk a little bit more about self-care particularly when you're trying to grow and trying to do something that could be different or uncomfortable well Dana when I have been seeing with the women that I've met they don't give themselves enough me time you know we're we're in a job we're working all day long we're taking care of the kids we're cooking we're doing everything and they feel guilty that they're taking an hour for themselves and when I see them come to the you know Boutique I'm like you know this is just for you time to relax time to let go of all the stress and it's very hard for them to do that sometimes and um we have to we have to give ourselves a break and say we we need to study and work on ourselves and and relax and take a break and that's very important you know to give that self me time you know if even if it's exercising I mean I'm I was a personal trainer um I enjoy exercising and and exercising to me takes away all the stresses it helps with stress and and keeps a balance in your life and um gotta get into that me time and there's this common misconception that self-care is selfish when it's really the most selfless thing that we can do in order to show up for others in our lives to show up for ourselves right right it's boundaries that's more it's not just like going to the spa I think even creating a boundary of I'm going to go to the spa it's not just about you know the physical it's about creating space for you and setting boundaries and saying no and putting yourself first sometimes so that you can pour from a full cut you know so to speak spending time with yourself really cultivating that most important relationship with which is with ourselves I think all of this is so important and you know it's been great reminders you know for me in my own life and in terms of self-care prioritizing yourself taking your time being present being in the space um how have you used these tools in your own life or on your own Journey oh for me I mean it's been incredible personally um really getting out of depression getting out of that stuck mindset um you know at the end of the day no one can do it for you you have to show up for yourself oh and I just want to say too I've always I guess as a male had not an aversion but always a little afraid of the spa and stuff but I have started doing that recently and I know I'm in a room full of wonderful women here but to any males don't be afraid to do that to go out and treat yourself and just do nice things for yourself because it really does make a big difference yeah and it's it's important not just for women um for men too you know whether you're a parent or whether you're just a professional self-care is important it's vital to your success and it's vital to your mental health you know making sure that you take time to exercise and put the right nutrients in your body or you know get a massage get a facial um whatever it is that really gives you that time and to really sit with yourself and your thoughts you're really talking about quality of life here right I mean taking care of ourselves so that we can not just live longer but live happier healthier more productive lives absolutely yeah absolutely and I think taking care of the personal is so important but I also think when you do take care of the personalized we've discussed it can benefit you in the start you know of your project of your passion of your business several of you are entrepreneurs or entrepreneurial how has that directly impacted that aspect of your lives hmm well I have to say that I'm a better employer than I am an employee I would say that that has always been my passion again to help people so I wanted to create a an environment where everybody feels that they're they're valid and they're important to our Boutique and um so I mean I feel that um being an entrepreneur is something that um is a challenge but yet I um it fits my personality it fits my passion that I I want to help others and um so I open I've always been an entrepreneurial and having that entrepreneurial spirit I think the most important thing is to practice gratitude because we can get caught up in saying well if I just hit this next step if I just accomplish this next goal life will look this certain way but if we can really be present ground ourselves and be mindful and be grateful for what we do have in this moment then more will come to us and it is that energy right it's gonna draw you towards what what you desire right yeah very true because I think that one of the mistakes people make with manifestation or calling things in is waiting until the thing happens we have to embody the thing and then again from an energy perspective we call it in so it's about being joyful if you think that money or the relationship is going to make you happy just be happy and then you're more much more likely to draw it in some people who are watching and I hope this episode is very helpful you know are hearing all this and it sounds great you know but they they're stuck they're stuck after a divorce they're stuck after a job displacement they're stuck being overwhelmed or depressed or not taking enough time for themselves and so in many ways we can block our own blessings and be in our own way what is the first step that you recommend in terms of getting out of your own way well I think again and I've already said something kind of along these lines but I think again it's recognition and it's realizing that you are in your own way in the first place just one example I can think of is maybe someone who's had bad experiences in relationships and now they're kind of closed off they don't want to open up as much they struggle to reach out to people but they're feeling lonely yeah and I think then it's kind of a case of that something bad happened to you that was really hurtful but now it's kind of caused you to feel stuck I think a lot of it too is um just taking baby steps you know people often have this misconception that um you have to be super successful the first time you try it at all has to go well and it's acknowledging that any progress is progress you know it doesn't matter how small it is it doesn't matter if you slip up you're human that's natural it's really just saying like okay this happened it's okay and I'm going to celebrate my success no matter how small learning to recalibrate you know and get back to after a setback or recognizing you know that that you're holding yourself back uh recalibrating getting back to that you know so so that you're able to jump in you know and you're you're motivated and positive about a new relationship after a bad breakup or you're motivated to get that job after being you know let go from from a job um any final advice any anything you want to share about um how important it is to to take care of yourself to work on your mindset and to go out there and chase you know your dreams your goals Dean I just want to say for final thoughts as that first step that will talked about is acknowledging what's taking place within us and then Christina said you know taking baby steps and I think one of those really important First Steps could be to find support whatever that looks like you know a friend a family member or potentially a counselor or a professional who you can turn to for not only that support but accountability and those really important reminders that people are posting highlight reels of their lives and we are all just humans with the same struggles the same types of pain we want to lean into that pain and channel it towards positive energy towards good one of the things that helped me a lot in my healing was understanding my humanness understanding as a human with a brain that you're not supposed to be able to change a habit overnight it's literally physically impossible so I I stopped judging myself you know when I was having a hard time changing and understanding that was really freeing for me I think everyone should invest in themselves and create whatever arsenal of tools they need whether it be therapy spiritual support self-care with the massages and things like that and and be very okay with it being whatever works for you it doesn't have to look like what everybody else is doing whatever works for you and um investing yourself really investing in yourself we spend so much time money energy on other people especially as moms we have to invest in ourselves so I would definitely recommend uh looking into tools that support your healing I I think my final thought would be just kind of in the vein of Molly said and when you're reaching out for help really congratulate yourself for that and recognize that that in itself is a big step because a lot of the times reaching out for help can be really hard and so I think even if you're in the process of going to counseling going to physical therapy whatever it is to address whatever issues you're facing give yourself a pat on the back because that in itself is a tough thing to do I think for me um you know it's it's all of those things but it's really taking a look at what you're in taking in your body um it is the mental health but it's also really important to take a look at the nutrients you're putting into your body you know are you eating right are you taking the right supplements um when you're deficient in certain vitamins and minerals you will feel it you'll feel it in your body you'll feel it mentally um you'll feel sluggish you're fatigued you can't think straight you have a foggy brain you could even start to see some effects on your skin your hair you know your hair will fall out from stress your Skin's breaking out or you're having um all sorts of problems that you didn't have before so it really is taking a look at your mental health but also what are you putting into your body you know are you are you eating processed foods are you filling your body with junk food essentially you know or are you eating a well-balanced diet um you know right it all it all correlates yeah totally totally agree with you Christina and and then a little uh component of that have time for relaxation we don't do enough of that you know have time to turn it off turn completely social media off television off everything off and relax you know getting eight hours nine hours of sleep that's extremely important for our health for our mental health and for our whole physical body and um I I mean I'm all about eating right and supplements and everything like that but we forget about we need to have some down time to relax to turn it off that's the hardest thing I think for most people is to turn it off and uh just we have the sound of the waves in our massage and uh we just absolutely turns your brain off we are inherently valuable so taking that time and releasing ourselves of that guilt or that shame for actually taking care of ourselves is most important relax reset and recharge yeah we all need to do that and that recharge is so important and I appreciate that that very important reminder change or New Beginnings are both courageous and scary but with great risk is the opportunity for great reward if you find yourself in a valley remember that the best view comes after the hardest climb believe in yourself and surround yourself with people who do too courage is rewarded thank you to my guests for the work that you do in this space special thanks to grow Wellness Group for bringing awareness to this very important topic hopefully you have been entertained if not encouraged or inspired I do not promise to be an expert nor do I have all the answers I'm just Dana being Dana see you next time this episode of Dana being Dana is brought to you in part by grow Wellness Group a naperville-based full service provider of therapy coaching and mental Wellness services [Music] 00:00:11.150 --> 00:00:13.129 align:start position:0% 00:00:13.129 --> 00:00:15.289 align:start position:0% 00:00:15.289 --> 00:00:18.290 align:start position:0% 00:00:18.290 --> 00:00:21.340 align:start position:0% 00:00:21.340 --> 00:00:21.350 align:start position:0% 00:00:21.350 --> 00:00:25.429 align:start position:0% 00:00:25.429 --> 00:00:27.109 align:start position:0% 00:00:27.109 --> 00:00:29.330 align:start 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