1
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,000
There it is--
Grandma's house.

2
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,000
What wonders
await me today?

3
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,000
Fresh-baked cookies?

4
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,000
Story time?

5
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,000
A sweater with love
in every stitch?

6
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,000
Aw, what am I waiting for?

7
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000
Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!

8
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,000
SpongeBob!

9
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,000
Hi, Grandma!

10
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Come in and sit for a while.

11
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:39,000
Have a cookie,
SpongeBob.

12
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:44,000
Grandma, you make
the best cookies
in the deep blue sea.

13
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,000
Oh, yeah...

14
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,000
( munches )

15
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,000
( gulps )

16
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,000
Grandma's cookies...

17
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,000
Now, who wants to
lick the spoon?

18
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,000
Oh! Me, me, me!

19
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,000
...And then we drove
all the way home

20
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:06,000
with all the windows down
in the freezing cold.

21
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,000
Tell me another story
about when I was a baby.

22
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,000
( cuckoo clock chimes 3:00 )

23
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,000
( gasps ) 3:00?!

24
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,000
I'm going to be late
for work!

25
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,000
Hop in my car.
I'll drop you off.

26
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
Thanks, Grandma!

27
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000
SpongeBob...
you forgot your kissy-kissy!

28
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:26,000
I sure did.

29
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,000
( kisses )

30
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,000
Bye, Grandma!
Thanks for the ride!

31
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,000
Thank you, Squidward.

32
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,000
( others chuckling )

33
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,000
Oh, brother...

34
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000
( whistling )

35
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,000
Isn't this great?

36
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000
Everybody's
in a good mood today.

37
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,000
I love bursting
your bubble, SpongeBob.

38
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:47,000
They're laughing at you,
not with you.

39
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,000
Did I do
something funny?

40
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,000
Your forehead.

41
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000
My forehead is funny?

42
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,000
Hey, grandma's boy!

43
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,000
Kissy-kissy-kissy!

44
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000
( all laughing )

45
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,000
No! You're wrong!

46
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000
There...
there's nothing wrong

47
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,000
with getting kisses
from your grandma!

48
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:10,000
No... especially if you're
a big baby who wears diapers!

49
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,000
( all laugh )

50
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000
And, and sucks his thumb

51
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,000
and plays with dolls

52
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,000
and, um, wears pajamas
with feet in them

53
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:25,000
and carries his, um, uh,
binky around, and, uh...

54
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,000
OTHERS:
All right already!

55
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000
Cheer up, SpongeBob.

56
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:31,000
I know someone
who still likes you.

57
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,000
Really?
You do, Squidward?

58
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,000
Yeah... your grandma!

59
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000
( all laughing )

60
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:43,000
( laughter continues )

61
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,000
( all laughing )

62
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:50,000
( grunting )

63
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,000
( all laughing )

64
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,000
Stop it...!

65
00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:00,000
I have been publicly humiliated
for the last time!

66
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000
( crying )

67
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:06,000
PATRICK:
I'm sorry that happened
to you, SpongeBob.

68
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,000
Me, too.

69
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000
You're the most adult person
I know.

70
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000
Thanks, Patrick.

71
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
You know how grandmas are.

72
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,000
They love babies.

73
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,000
You just can't act
like a baby around her.

74
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,000
You're right, Patrick.

75
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,000
Have I ever not been right?

76
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:22,000
( sizzling )

77
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000
( honking )

78
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000
( wolf-whistle )

79
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000
You're a man now,
SpongeBob

80
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,000
and it's time you
started acting like one.

81
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000
Yeah!

82
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:34,000
Oh... but I'm not sure
I know how.

83
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,000
Allow me
to demonstrate.

84
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,000
First,
puff out your chest.

85
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000
Now say "tax exemption."

86
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000
Tax exemption!

87
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,000
Now you must acquire
a taste for free-form jazz.

88
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,000
( trumpet plays fast jazz riff )

89
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:55,000
Okay, SpongeBob,
you're ready!

90
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000
This is it.

91
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000
What are you going
to tell Grandma?

92
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000
I'm a grownup.

93
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,000
No ifs, ands or buts about it.

94
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000
A man's got to do
what a man's got to do.

95
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,000
And then you get behind her
and I'll push.

96
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000
Patrick, we didn't say that.

97
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000
Oh, yeah, right.

98
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000
All we need now

99
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,000
is the icing
on the maturity cake.

100
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:16,000
I've been growing
these babies for years.

101
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:21,000
BOTH:
Sideburns...

102
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,000
Oh, hello, SpongeBob.

103
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,000
What a nice surprise.

104
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:30,000
Come here, give your granny
her kissy-kissy.

105
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:34,000
Mmm...

106
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,000
( kisses )

107
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,000
Sorry, Grandmother,
but the kissing has to stop.

108
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,000
Tell her like it is, SpongeBob.

109
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,000
No more baby stuff.

110
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000
He is right, Grandmother.

111
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000
Kisses are for babies,
which I am no longer.

112
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000
I have grown up.

113
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,000
It is nature's way.

114
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:56,000
Oh... you are absolutely right.

115
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,000
I am?

116
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000
I mean, of course I am.

117
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,000
You will definitely
not be treated like a baby

118
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,000
around here ever again.

119
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,000
I am glad you see it
my way, Grandmother.

120
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,000
GRANDMA:
Well, I'm glad
that's settled.

121
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,000
But what am I
going to do

122
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,000
with all these
fresh-baked cookies?

123
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,000
( chuckles )
Sorry, Grandmother.

124
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:18,000
We adults don't partake
in the consumption of sweets.

125
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,000
Right, Pat...

126
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000
rick?

127
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,000
Keep 'em coming,
Granny!

128
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
( slurping )

129
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,000
So much for no more baby stuff.

130
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,000
And don't forget the
cookie-eating hat!

131
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000
( laughs )

132
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000
( both laughing )

133
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,000
Hey!

134
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000
That's my cookie-eating hat!

135
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:39,000
Uh... I mean, it was
when I was a baby!

136
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,000
Grr...

137
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000
Well, look who's here.

138
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,000
It's my big old
adult grandson.

139
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Grandmother, I need to have
a mature conversation

140
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,000
with Mr. Patrick.

141
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Patrick!
What are you doing?!

142
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,000
Cookies! Warm milk!

143
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000
A bib!

144
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,000
Is that a kissy mark
on your forehead?

145
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000
We are supposed to be adults!

146
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000
Uh-uh-uh.

147
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,000
No roughhousing
with a full tummy.

148
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000
( laughing )

149
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,000
Who's the baby?

150
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,000
I'm the baby, I'm the baby,
I'm the baby!

151
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000
( clears throat )

152
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,000
Being grownup is boring!

153
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,000
I love being a baby.

154
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,000
Besides, I don't get jazz.

155
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,000
Oh, poor Patrick.

156
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:24,000
I almost feel sorry for you.

157
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,000
Trapped in the awkward phase
of diaper days.

158
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,000
Never to know
the rich rewards
of being a grownup.

159
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,000
Here's a fresh batch of cookies.

160
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,000
All right!

161
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000
( munching )

162
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000
Rewards, huh?

163
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000
Well, yeah, there's...

164
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000
( munching )

165
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,000
Let's see, we, uh...

166
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,000
we went over the jazz.

167
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:50,000
( munching )

168
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,000
Oh, Grandma,
I'm full.

169
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,000
More cookies.

170
00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:00,000
( vacuum cleaner running )

171
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000
( whistling )

172
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000
It appears to be my lunch hour.

173
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,000
Grownups have to eat, too.

174
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000
I guess this will have to do.

175
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,000
GRANDMA:
Oh, you don't want
this baby food.

176
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:16,000
How about a big piece
of steamed coral?

177
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,000
Oh, yeah, uh... great.

178
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000
( crunching )

179
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000
Nutritious!

180
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,000
GRANDMA:
Story time!

181
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,000
Oh, boy! Story time,
story time, story time!

182
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000
Story time?

183
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,000
You'll enjoy this,
Patrick.

184
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,000
It's a wonderful story
about a magical sea leprechaun.

185
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:39,000
Oh, SpongeBob, you wouldn't be
interested in this baby book.

186
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,000
Here's the technical manual
on Routine Active Maintenance.

187
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000
Oh, uh, great.

188
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,000
Yeah... fascinating.

189
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,000
No pictures, just the way
I like it.

190
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,000
( munching )

191
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000
( crunch )

192
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,000
Ohh! My wittle finger!

193
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,000
Hold still,
hold still.

194
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000
( kisses )

195
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000
All better?

196
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000
PATRICK:
Sorta...

197
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,000
This finger hurts
a little bit, too.

198
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,000
( Grandma kisses )

199
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,000
How about I give you
a present?

200
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,000
Oh, boy, I hope it's cookies!

201
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000
All right!

202
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000
Another hat!

203
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,000
No, Patrick, it's a sweater.

204
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000
Huh?

205
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,000
With love in every stitch.

206
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,000
No...

207
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,000
Don't I get
a present,
Grandma?

208
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,000
Oh, I almost forgot.

209
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,000
Here's some
office supplies.

210
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000
I didn't wrap them.

211
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,000
I knew
you wouldn't mind.

212
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000
( clock chimes 3:00 )

213
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000
Uh-oh, 3:00.

214
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000
Time for adults to go to work.

215
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,000
Bye-bye, SpongeBob.

216
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,000
I'll bet you would fancy
a nap, huh, Patrick?

217
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,000
( Patrick yawns )

218
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:55,000
GRANDMA:
You're still here,
SpongeBob?

219
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000
Uh... I don't have to leave yet.

220
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000
I... can be late for work.

221
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,000
No, no, no. That wouldn't
be the adult thing to do.

222
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,000
All right, uh,
I guess I'll be going.

223
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,000
I've, uh, got a lot
of adult-type business

224
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,000
to take care of,
so, uh...

225
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000
I'll see you later.

226
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:15,000
Okay. Thanks for
stopping by, SpongeBob.

227
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,000
Yup, that is it.

228
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000
Here I go.

229
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,000
Come again if you
get the chance.

230
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,000
Out into the cold,
grownup world...

231
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000
alone... without a sweater.

232
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,000
Toodle-oo.

233
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,000
I don't know when I'll be back.

234
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,000
I know how busy you are.

235
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,000
So, uh... that's it.

236
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000
Shh... he's asleep.

237
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:41,000
So... long...

238
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,000
I don't want to grow up!

239
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,000
I want cookies!

240
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
And milky!

241
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:54,000
I want a sweater
with love in the stitches!

242
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000
I want to wear didies!

243
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000
I want to ride in my wagon!

244
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:02,000
I want to cuddle-wuddle
with Mr. Stuffykins!

245
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,000
I want to rocky-rock
on my seahorsey!

246
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,000
And I want kissy-kissy
on my boo-boo!

247
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,000
( crying )

248
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:16,000
( crying )

249
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000
( continues )

250
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:26,000
( wailing )

251
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,000
( continues )

252
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:34,000
( ratcheting
like lawn sprinkler )

253
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:42,000
Take it easy, SpongeBob!

254
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000
SpongeBob...

255
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000
SpongeBob!

256
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:50,000
( crying and panting )

257
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000
You don't have to
be a baby

258
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,000
to get
Old Grandma's love.

259
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,000
( sniffles )
I don't?

260
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,000
Of course not.

261
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,000
No matter
how grownup you get

262
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:05,000
you will always be
my Little Baby Boo.

263
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,000
( kisses )

264
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,000
And remember, you can
kiss your Grandma

265
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000
and still be an adult.

266
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:14,000
Here you go.

267
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Thanks, Grandma.

268
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,000
( munching and sighing )

269
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
Uh, Grandma,
could you not mention this

270
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
to the guys
down at The Krusty Krab?

271
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:27,000
No problem.

272
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000
( squeak )

273
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000
( Squidward snickers )

274
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,000
( all laughing )