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Sep 5, 2020
09/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 35
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The wise know when to stop suspecting and start trusting. There is a thin line separating the paranoid from the moron. To suspect all the time is counterproductive. It inhibits and retards. It consumes scarce resources. It prevents collaboration and progress. It constricts one's life and limits it. And it impairs one's reality test. Constant vigilance is a long name for the anxiety and fears induced by stupidity and ignorance. Paranoia is a form of grandiosity: "I am important enough to be...
Topics: trust, love, emotions, critical thinking, relationships, betrayal, love, pain, hurt, cheating,...
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22
Dec 31, 2021
12/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 22
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This is the age of pervasive distrust: of experts, of science, of the authorities, of the future, and of each other. Everyone is wary of being played. Personal growth, self development, and healing crucially depend on vulnerability and the willingness to accept hurt and loss. This is especially true in family settings and intimate relationships. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: trust, love, emotions, critical thinking, relationships, betrayal, pain, hurt, cheating, intimate...
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395
Sep 30, 2012
09/12
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 395
favorite 0
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Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html The narcissist, wearing this mask, broadcasts to the world that he is both a child (and therefore vulnerable, susceptible, and subject to adult protection) â and a genius (and therefore worthy of special treatment and of admiration). Inwardly this mask makes the narcissist less emotionally vulnerable. A child does not fully comprehend and grasp events and...
Topics: narcissist, mask, persona, false self, wunderkind, wonderboy, precocious, child, adult,...
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4.2K
Feb 15, 2013
02/13
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 4,199
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Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html A cerebral narcissist wrote this to me (in parentheses, my comments, signed SV): âI guess I am a throwback to the men of the 18th or 19th century: patriarchal and transactional (compare this statement to findings by Keller et al. - SV) I have had several serious relationships, including one engagement to be married and three marriages. The pattern had always...
Topics: narcissist, cerebral, somatic, narcissism, spouse, mate, girlfriend, engagement, marriage, divorce,...
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0.0
Jul 18, 2022
07/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 0
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Trauma is contagious. You can develop PTSD just being exposed to a victim’s story (according to the DSM 5-TR). This is known as vicarious or secondary trauma. The risk is especially high if you had experienced a primary trauma. Reactions fall into two camps: avoidance or hyperarousal. How to cope? Community and happiness (or wellbeing) are the answers. Seek help if the symptoms get worse. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: Social media, narcissism, psychopathy, mind, self, psychology, therapy, domestic violence, abuse,...
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54
Jun 11, 2021
06/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 54
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The comorbidity of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders (NPD and BPD) is counterintuitive: they appear to be mutually exclusive. Both Borderlines and narcissists are grandiose, but the former possess warm empathy and emotions whereas the latter lack them. The only way to reconcile these contradictions and to square the circle is by assuming the existence of semi-dissociated self-states that come to the fore in reaction to changing circumstances and environments. In a comorbid...
Topics: People-pleasers, anxiety, anxious, narcissist, psychopath, borderline, addict, addiction, sex,...
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128
Aug 28, 2020
08/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 128
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Pinocchio and Geppetto: the fantasy to not be puppet is a death wish, to not be himself (because has no self). Without the puppetmaster, when he is gone, there is no puppet, only death. Object constancy is existential and essential, but in cluster personality disorders and in codependency, the problem is an external locus of existence, not merely of control. There is an outsourcing sense of being, not only self-worth. Pinocchio teaches us that the only way to become human is via fantasy...
Topics: codependent, borderline, psychopath, narcissist, Pinocchio, lying, fantasy, confabulation,...
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11
Jun 30, 2022
06/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 11
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comment 0
Brain neuroplasticity supports self-states models in personality psychology. Phenomena such as ambivalence, cognitive dissonance, and compartmentalization also tally with the self-states model and militate against any model involving a unitary self or core identity. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: narcissist, codependent, borderline, body language, body, brainwashing, entraining, brainwaves,...
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71
Oct 3, 2020
10/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 71
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Entraining Brainwashing in relationships with narcissists is real and starts with grooming and lovebombing. The narcissist engenders in his victim a dissociative state, like akin to a hypnotic trance. This is especially easy to accomplish with Borderlines and Codependents who relegate the regulation of their emotions and moods to their intimate partner. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: ...
Topics: narcissist, codependent, borderline, gaze, body language, body, brainwashing, entraining,...
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75
Jun 17, 2021
06/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 75
favorite 2
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Entitlement is a hallmark of all types of narcissists: they are convinced that they deserve special treatment and privileges as well as narcissistic supply without any commensurate accomplishments or efforts. But what laymen and experts alike fail to appreciate is that entitlement is a form of learned helplessness. Abusive parents do not allow the child to develop boundaries, to separate, and to individuate. Consequently, the child comes to depend on them for both acting in the world and for...
Topics: Entitlement, routine, narcissism, narcissist, grandiosity, helplessness, abuse, parents, child,...
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108
Nov 4, 2020
11/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 108
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A paracosm is a detailed imaginary world. A shared fantasy is a paracosm of sorts. The shared fantasy is a paracosm with two imaginary friends: Father (false self)-Mother (YOU, the intimate partner)-Son (narcissist) = holy family = trinity (in the Kabbalah where many attributes of god and of creation are feminine; Jung’s archetypes). The intimate partner as a mother allows narcissist to SAFELY explore femininity in general and his femininity (auto-eroticism and in some cases, latent...
Topics: Paracosm, imaginary, reality, fantasy, intimate, partner, sex, cerebral, somatic, narcissist,...
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63
Jul 22, 2020
07/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 63
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comment 0
Borderlines and narcissists mislabel their emotions. Emotions start with cognitions (thoughts), information gleaned from the body, plus data from the environment (contextual intake). When there are fundamental, ubiquitous cognitive deficits and biases, emotions get misidentified (impaired internal reality testing). We know this is true from multiple experiments and from the fact that techniques such as reappraisal and exposure (approaching the avoided emotions) work. In reappraisal we change...
Topics: emotions, narcissist Codependent, Somatic, Cerebral, subtypes, isolation, pain, hurt, defences,...
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93
Nov 5, 2020
11/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 93
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Covert Borderline (starts 18:30 ) is a proposed evidence-based diagnosis - watch previous video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvjha_DRQvo This video describes the differential diagnoses between the covert borderline, the overt (classic) narcissist, and the two varieties of psychopaths: primary and secondary. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: Narcissist, psychopath, borderline, covert, overt, classic, primary, secondary, personality...
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40
Jun 30, 2021
06/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 40
favorite 2
comment 0
The narcissist demands 2 out of 3 Ss from his "intimate" partner in the shared fantasy: sex, supply (narcissistic and sadistic), and services. But he also expects the E2A: unmitigated exclusivity, adulation, and availability. If the partner denies him any of these three, he devalues and discards her. Henceforth he absents himself from the relationship, either physically or emotionally. The compensatory cerebral narcissist is the only exception. He demands only supply and services and...
Topics: sex, mental health, depression, substance, abuse, alcohol, drugs, harm, mutilation, trashing,...
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117
Nov 2, 2013
11/13
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 117
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comment 0
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html First posted here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng2iEw_QDuM Video Transcripts and more at: http://cultureofempathy.com/References/Experts/others/Sam-Vaknin.htm
Topics: narcissist, narcissism, cold empathy, pain, hurt, psychological defenses, false self, grandiosity,...
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91
Jul 15, 2018
07/18
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 91
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comment 0
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html I have written the bible about psychopathic narcissists twenty odd years ago. Yet, when I come across one, I am shaken to my foundations. There is something utterly reptilian or alien about them. Psychopathic narcissists - and histrionic and borderline women - are driven by primitive urges, unrequited needs, raw negative impulses (like rage and vindictiveness)...
Topics: narcissist, psychopath, borderline, histrionic, sadist, woman, emotions, lies, manipulation,...
76
76
Oct 18, 2020
10/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 76
favorite 0
comment 0
Betrayal trauma and betrayal trauma blindness (Jennifer Freyd et al.) in BTT (Betrayal Trauma Theory) When you cannot or are not allowed to express your experience of trauma and abuse, breach of trust, negative emotions, and profound betrayal by someone you depend on in any crucial way. Such denial and repression lead to dissociation and a host of long-term mental health disorders. Tests and treatments are reviewed. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: Betrayal, trauma, child, caregiver, abuse, dissociation, psychopathology, mental health, mental...
475
475
Jul 30, 2016
07/16
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 475
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comment 0
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html To avoid painful contradictions with reality or cognitive dissonances and also to ameliorate his raging abandonment or separation anxiety, the narcissist aims to micromanage and control his human environment by subsuming it or by merging and fusing with it (exactly as codependents do). His nearest and dearest are reduced to mere representations, avatars,...
Topics: narcissist, narcissism, personality disorder, psychological defense mechanisms, projection,...
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76
Sep 24, 2018
09/18
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 76
favorite 1
comment 0
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html Victims are now fully aware of narcissistic abuse. Why do they keep falling for it? Why don't they resist, recoil, regroup, & retreat? Because repeat victims share two things with their abusers: a partially latent pathway of mental processing & impaired object constancy. A healthy person reacts to someone they have just met on a "gut level": a...
Topics: emotions, cognitions, object constancy, processing, abuser, victim, bonding, attachment, trauma,...
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278
Apr 22, 2012
04/12
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 278
favorite 0
comment 0
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html "Haughty" body language â The narcissist adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness, amused indifference, etc. Though the narcissist usually maintains sustained and piercing eye contact, he often refrains from physical proximity (he is "territorial"). The narcissist...
Topics: narcissist, personality disorders, red flags, warning signs, haughtiness, arrogance, condescension,...
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119
Mar 23, 2020
03/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 119
favorite 1
comment 0
Responses to questions I have been asked about the COVID-19 pandemic. Borderline women often end up with narcissistic men. But they feel overpowered and overwhelmed in these relationships as the narcissist leverages his cold empathy to push all their buttons cruelly and repeatedly until they are triggered badly, decompensate, and act out. The Borderline partner often claims that the narcissist “made her misbehave” in dramatic or histrionic ways, drove her crazy, and that his very presence...
Topics: covid19, coronavirus, pandemics, borderline, narcissist, personality disorders, couple,...
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52
Aug 12, 2021
08/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 52
favorite 0
comment 0
Introverts are invested in introspection, are never impulsive, reckless, defiant, or dysregulated (never borderline or psychopathic). They are avoid over-stimulation. Unlike shy people, they are not apprehensive, anxious, or afraid of unfamiliar social settings. Introversion is a choice or a preference - not an avoidant, phobic behavior (like in social anxiety or social phobia). Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: shyness, emotions, anger, sexuality, masochism, paranoid ideation, anticipatory anxiety,...
272
272
Feb 5, 2011
02/11
by
Sam Vaknin
texts
eye 272
favorite 0
comment 0
I won the 1997 Maiden Prose Award of the Israeli Ministry of Education and Culture for "Requesting My Loved One". I thought it was ironic: a prisoner, writing about an amoral world through his own disintegration - awarded the Ministry of Education and Culture.
Topics: Hebrew, fiction, short fiction, Vaknin, Shmuel, Sam, short stories, stories, poems, poetry, family,...
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366
Mar 24, 2012
03/12
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 366
favorite 0
comment 0
Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html It is the False Self that interacts with the world. It is the False Self that suffers and enjoys, gets attached and detached, joins and separates, develops likes and dislikes, preferences and prejudices, loves and hates. Whatever happens to the narcissist, his experiences, the setbacks that he (inevitably) suffers, the humiliations, the adoration, the fears and...
Topics: narcissist, emotions, feelins, sentiments, affect, false self, true self, narcissistic supply,...
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32
Jan 20, 2022
01/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 32
favorite 0
comment 0
Narcissist’s introject muted, yours active and vociferous. Narcissist theatre play: he scripts and directs, you act and prop (external locus of control) Current advice wrong, freezes emergent roles and, therefore, locus. Reverse the roles: you script and direct, he acts and is a prop, whether he is physically present or not (introject). Own the narcissist by appropriating his roles and then constellate/integrate the parts Separation-individuation on the road to recovery and healing. Find and...
Topics: narcissist, codependent, borderline, gaze, body language, body, brainwashing, entraining,...
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27
Jul 24, 2020
07/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 27
favorite 0
comment 0
Magical thinking: I think=I do/I prevent=It is (Illusory Beliefs Inventory – IBI). Confusion of internal and external (external objects, events, and processes affected by cognitions, emotions, and moods). Defective theory of mind (Piaget’s egocentricity in preoperational phase of development) and Theory of World (causation) Form of infantile grandiosity coupled with autoplastic defenses common in neurosis. Comorbid with OCD (regain control) but not with worry or anxiety (which are...
Topics: magical thinking, conspiracism, emotions, narcissist Codependent, Somatic, Cerebral, subtypes,...
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262
Oct 25, 2011
10/11
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 262
favorite 0
comment 0
The narcissist's false emanations are not restricted to messages with emotional content. They may contain wrong or false or partial information. The narcissist does not hesitate to lie, deceive, or "reveal" (misleading) half-truths. He appears to be intelligent, charming and, therefore, reliable. He is a convincing conjurer of words, signs, behaviours, and body language. The above two classes of victims are casually exploited and then discarded by the narcissist. No more malice is...
Topics: narcissist, narcissism, abuse, victim, instability, unpredictability, sadism, masochism,...
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573
Mar 22, 2011
03/11
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 573
favorite 0
comment 0
Many abusers believe that their abusive conduct fosters, enhances, and cements their intimate relationships. To them, pathological jealousy is proof of love, possessiveness replaces mature bonding, and battering is a form of paying attention to the partner and communicating with her. Such habitual offenders do not know any better. They were often raised in families, societies, and cultures where abuse is condoned outright â or, at least, not frowned upon. Maltreatment of one's significant...
Topics: abuse, antisocial, battering, divorce, domestic violence, dsm-iv, ego, harassment, narcissism,...
25
25
May 18, 2020
05/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 25
favorite 0
comment 0
The artist communicates his inner world to an audience and tries to translate the private language of his mind to a universal dialect. The narcissist is an artist, therefore. But he is ill-equipped to create art because he lacks the basic components of being human and has no access to the meta dictionary that connects all people (empathy). This is why the narcissist renders himself - his personality and his life - his only work of art. Buy most of my books in Amazon...
Topics: art, artist, language, mind, brain, communication, dictionary, pain, emotions, experience,...
149
149
Sep 4, 2020
09/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 149
favorite 0
comment 0
Four Rules to Avoid Bad Relationships: 1. If it feels wrong - it is wrong. 2. Takes too much conspicuous and ostentatious effort? It is fake. 3. Too good to be true? It is not true. 4. Verify everything: 90% of the time, people lie and 90% of the time we believe every word they say (90:90 rule or base rate fallacy). You feel ill at ease because flooded with info that generates cognitive dissonance (he says one thing and behaves another) and emotional dissonance (I am so into him,...
Topics: intuition, mind, dating, narcissist, psychopath, relationship, objects, reality, fake, reasoning,...
28
28
Sep 23, 2021
09/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 28
favorite 0
comment 0
Can one person be BOTH an overt narcissist and a covert narcissist AT THE SAME TIME? Learn about self-supply ( 44:17 ). The concept of the unitary self is being replaced with the idea that an internal operating system determines which of several self-states emerges, given internally and externally (environmentally) generated information. Self-efficacy is the overriding constraint which the system seeks to optimize when hailing forth these sub-personalities or pseudoidentities. When all relevant...
Topics: multiple personality, personality disorders, dissociation, alters, host personality, false self,...
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10.0
May 28, 2022
05/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 10
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comment 0
I. Loss Induced Dysphoria This is the narcissist's depressive reaction to the loss of one or more Sources of Narcissistic Supply – or to the disintegration of a Pathological Narcissistic Space (PN Space, his stalking or hunting grounds, the social unit whose members lavish him with attention). II. Deficiency Induced Dysphoria Deep and acute depression which follows the aforementioned losses of Supply Sources or a PN Space. Having mourned these losses, the narcissist now grieves their...
Topics: depression, bipolar disorder, narcissism, ego, superego, inner critic, dysphoria, anhedonia,...
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47
Jun 6, 2021
06/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 47
favorite 0
comment 0
Some behaviors and psychodynamic processes appear to be artifacts of pathological narcissism – but are not. Consider, for example, serial idealizers and anxious people-pleasers. Serial idealizers go through brief sexual episodes or micro-relationships at a dizzying speed. They instantly and counterfactually idealize a date or a random stranger - or even a group of them! - as potential mates or friends. Sometimes within minutes from a chance encounter, they construct a one-sided fantastic...
Topics: People-pleasers, anxiety, anxious, narcissist, psychopath, borderline, addict, addiction, sex,...
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53
Sep 19, 2020
09/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 53
favorite 0
comment 0
Narcissistic Buffet: Answering Your Questions (Well, Sort of) Answering your questions and comments (see who gets the buffet pun): How can you discuss empathy if you don't have it? Nothingness: giving up rather than shaping up Negativity is ego congruent Shadow-banning I watch him and not you because he cares about me Sam Vaknin: Hot, sexy, handsome Halo Effect in a Celebrity Cult False self could be a sort of special interest in Autism Albert Camus not Jew Universe and human stupidity...
Topics: psychology, empathy, nothingness, negativity, shadow banning, caring, halo effect, celebrity, false...
5
5.0
Jun 10, 2022
06/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 5
favorite 0
comment 0
Psychopaths and narcissists have moral cognition (moral judgement) but, exactly like children, they make no distinction between moral transgressions and breaches of social mores and conventions. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: emotions, morality, feelings, mind, brain, body, models, theories, psychology, arousal, body...
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91
Jul 10, 2021
07/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 91
favorite 0
comment 0
Emotional Involvement Preventive Measures - Full List here: https://samvak.tripod.com/narcissismemotional.html Personality and Conduct Lack of enthusiasm, anhedonia, and constant boredom A wish to "vary", to "be free", to hop from one subject matter or object to another Laziness, constantly present fatigue Dysphoria to the point of depression leads to reclusiveness, detachment, low energies Repression of the affect and uniform emotional "hues" Self-hatred disables...
Topics: abuse, antisocial, battering, divorce, domestic violence, dsm-iv, ego, harassment, narcissism,...
8
8.0
May 31, 2022
05/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 8
favorite 0
comment 0
Myths of the con artists of the self-help industry. Also watch: Abuse Victims, Beware: Common Sense is Harmful Nonsense (12 Myths Debunked) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McWOGyGtuL0 Also watch 20 WRONG Ideas About Therapy, Psychology https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekBATw1P-wE Also watch 8 Things You are Getting WRONG about Your Narcissist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Xdnh7QUUkc MYTH You can learn from your mistakes FACT You are very likely to repeat your behaviors throughout your...
Topics: Psychology, myths, common sense, nonsense, facts, research, science, studies, tests, experiments,...
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249
Dec 27, 2010
12/10
by
Sam Vaknin
texts
eye 249
favorite 0
comment 0
Is there any necessary connection between our actions and the happiness of others? Disregarding for a moment the murkiness of the definitions of "actions" in philosophical literature - two types of answers were hitherto provided.
Topics: society, relationships, happiness, Emotions, friendship, collaboration, cooperation, narcissism,...
119
119
Oct 3, 2020
10/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 119
favorite 1
comment 0
The narcissist is able to entrain (“brainwash into a hypnotic trance) the codependent because they share common roots. There are two possible pathological reactions to childhood abuse and trauma: codependence and narcissism. They both involve fantasy as a defense mechanism: the codependent has a pretty realistic assessment of herself, but her view of others is fantastic; the narcissist’s self-image and self-perception are delusional and grandiose, but his penetrating view of others is...
Topics: Narcissist, codependent, borderline, childhood, abuse, trauma, parents, mother, father, solution,...
40
40
Nov 21, 2021
11/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 40
favorite 0
comment 0
Nothing terrifies the Borderline more than abandonment and rejection, real, anticipated, or imagined. In the wake of repeated such harrowing experiences, Borderlines react in two ways, often alternating between them: 1. They avoid all contact with potential intimate partners, constrict their lives to work only, and become schizoid; or 2. They sexually self-trash in casual random sex, exclusively with strangers. This way, they never experience heartbreak, they mitigate the pain of having been...
Topics: sex, mental health, depression, substance, abuse, alcohol, drugs, harm, mutilation, trashing,...
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38
Jan 22, 2022
01/22
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 38
favorite 0
comment 0
Attachment style is stable over the lifespan. Attachment behaviors and internal relationship models change in 30% of people. Behaviors can be modified to counter effects of attachment style. Intensity of attachment orientation changes. The changes are mediated via: Quality of relationships, type of partner Traumas Therapy Personality Disorders Life Crises Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: narcissist, psychopath, borderline, cluster B, histrionic, cptsd, complex trauma, victim,...
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82
Aug 14, 2020
08/20
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 82
favorite 1
comment 0
Insecure attachment styles, attachment disorders and dysfunction are prevalent in cluster B personalities (narcissists, psychopaths, borderlines, histrionics) . In early childhood, they all loved a dead mother, but they do not dare to think about it or verbalize it (the unthought known). Instead they resort to emotional thinking. They cathect (emotionally invest in) death and aggression (destrudo, not libido), including in inanimate material goods. Owing to hurt-aversion, they place a premium...
Topics: narcissist, psychopath, borderline, cluster B, histrionic, cptsd, complex trauma, victim,...
119
119
May 1, 2021
05/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 119
favorite 0
comment 0
PROBLEMS in DISCOURSE of SEX No such thing as man, woman, just people (unigender, gender vertigo) Language male POV: penetration, not engulfment Studies only of college students, mainly in North America TRENDS IN HOOKUPS Decline in vaginal, increase in oral, anal: influence of porn Desexing of oral sex (“not sex”) Compulsive sexting on the rise, strongly associated with dark triad traits Increase in distress, depression, anxiety: few want to hookup (they prefer relationships), but everyone...
Topics: Hookups, one night stand, casual sex, relationships, intimacy, young, adolescents, narcissism,...
69
69
Jun 28, 2019
06/19
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 69
favorite 0
comment 0
Alcoholism serves several psychological purposes effectively. This is why alcoholism is so intractable (difficult to get rid of or treat) and why recidivism is as high as 60% within the first year after rehab. 1. Palliative Helps the alcoholic to cope with dissonance, frustration, anxiety, anger, stress, sadness, panic, and other negative emotions or mood disorders 2. Restorative Helps the alcoholic to restore his or her self-confidence and self-esteem, also as a man or a woman (especially when...
Topics: alcohol, alcoholism, substance abuse, blackout, promiscuity, inhibitions, drunk, emotions,...
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30
Aug 23, 2021
08/21
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 30
favorite 0
comment 0
Hate is often confused with love because it produces the same bonding/attachment to its subjects. The transition from love to hatred is seamless and imperceptible. The two emotions often cohabit (ambivalence which is a form of dissonance). Such conflation is especially pronounced in mental health disorders that involve object inconstancy, persecutory objects, dysregulation, and abandonment anxiety. In these, the wish to subsume the intimate partner, merge or fuse with him is felt as a wish to...
Topics: narcissist, sadist, pain, hurt, masochist, self-punishment, social, paranoid, asexual, criticism,...
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83
Jul 4, 2018
07/18
by
Sam Vaknin
movies
eye 83
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Full text here: https://www.instagram.com/p/BkuMjicgG2w/?taken-by=vakninsamnarcissist Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html Like the optimal toilet paper, men should be both strong and soft. It is here that narcissists fail: they are brittle and aggressive rather than soft and strong. There is no balance - only an ever-swinging pendulum. The narcissist's personality is precariously poised, his...
Topics: narcissist, emotions, image, imitation, empathy, fake, feigned, smarmy, effort, personality...
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68
Oct 25, 2020
10/20
by
Sam Vaknin
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Topic starts 21:45 Beautiful graphic of the types of contempt (courtesy Haley Martin): https://www.instagram.com/p/CGserHlDad3/ The narcissist and psychopath have contempt for: weakness; perceived inferiority (moral, intellectual) and this contempt often masquerades as altruism and sanctimonious self-righteousness; for inadequacy: win-lose zero sum failure, loser; emotions (especially on display); vulnerability; neediness, clinging; attachment/bonding/love; empathy; altruism; The narcissist...
Topics: contempt, disdain, weakness, perception, inferiority, moral, intellectual, altruism, sanctimonious,...
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434
Oct 7, 2010
10/10
by
Sam Vaknin
texts
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Short stories about bizarre mental health disorders. The mind is the most terrifying place of all!
Topics: fiction, short fiction, Vaknin, Shmuel, Sam, short stories, stories, poems, poetry, family, love,...
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Jul 19, 2022
07/22
by
Sam Vaknin
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Narcissist is in a state of prolonged grief and misery seeks company. Exposure to prolonged grief is traumatizing: transmission vector. Endogenous vs. Exogenous dysregulation. Driven to re-enact loss and resolve trauma with a maternal stand-in by recreating the trauma space (ideal Mom-ideal Kid in a shared fantasy engendered by secondary trauma). Vicarious trauma fosters role reversal from Mom to Kid (infantile regression); Narcissist as Mom can now abuse the Kid and disarm it (narcissistic...
Topics: Grief, grieving, mourning, defenses, weak, health, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder,...
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43
Jun 22, 2021
06/21
by
Sam Vaknin
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WHAT you do in sex is not important. WHY you do it - is. Sex for all the wrong reasons can be bad for your mental health and lead to or enhance preexisting depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. What are the wrong, detrimental kinds of sex? Sex intended to regulate affects (emotions), moods, self-esteem, or self-worth; Sex in situations where meaningful informed consent is impossible (for example: extreme intoxication); Sex as a form of self-harm, self-punishment, or self-trashing,...
Topics: Toxic, sex, mental health, depression, substance, abuse, alcohol, drugs, harm, mutilation,...
