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OTHER BOOKS BY JETF KINNEY 

Diary of a Wimpy Kid 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid Roqfnct Pyles 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid; Dog Days 
Diary of a Wimpy Kidr The Ugly Truth 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Cabin (-ever 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid; The Third Wheel 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid; Ward Lucie 
Diary of a Wimpy Kid The Long S-laul 


The Wimpy Kid Do-It-Yourself Book 
The Wimpy Kid Movie Diary 


COMING SOON 






















DIARY 







PUBLISHER'S NOTE. This >s a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and 
incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or used fictitiouily 
and my resemblance to actual persons, living or deod. business establishments, 
events, or locales is entirely coincidental. 

Cataloging-in-Publication Data has boon appJied For m6 may 
be obtained from the Library of Coqgre&s. 

ISBN: 9?a-l-jT^7-:701-7 
elSBNj 97B-l-fil3l-2B27-5 

Wimpy Kid te*t and illustrations copyright £ JOIS Wimpy Kid, Inc. 

DIARY OF A WFMPY KID* WIMPY KID 1H , and the Greg Heffley design'* 
arc, 1 trade marks df Wi-mpy Kid, Inc, All rights reserved, 

Book design by Jeff Kinney 

Cover design by Chad W. Beckerman and Je#£ Kidney 

PubEi&bed an 2015 by Amulet Books, en imprint of ABRAMS. 

Alt fights reserved. No portion oF this book m^y be reproduced, stored in a 
retrieval system, ar transmitted lt\ any form or by any means, mechaokal. 
electronic, photocopying, recording, o i otherwise, without written permission 
from the publisher. Amulet Books and Amulet Paperbacks are registered 
trad&mafJts, of Harry N. Abrams. Inc. 


Amulet Books are available at spacial discounts when purchased in quantity 
For premiums and promotions as well as fundraising or educational use. 
Special editions can also be created to specification. For details, contact 
s peciaIsalesifcabramsbooks.ccm or the address below. 

ABRAMS 

“1 AJIT Or dL‘U'3. il-Mti hfe-ei 

115 West 10th Street 
New York, NY tool I 

MM iaAbra nwfecw.lss.wro 




TO DAD 


















SEPTEMBER 


Saturd ay 

Growh-up$ art always ta 
clays and how things were so much better when 
TWEY were kids. 


kin^ about -+Ke ^ood old 


But I think they re Just Jealous because MY 
generation has all this fancy technology arid stuff 
they didnt have growing op. 


Believe me, Tm Sure when T have kids of ry own. 
In ^onna be the exact sane way my parents 
are NOW. 




















Moms always saying +ha+ when SHE was younger 4 
i+ was ^reai because everybody ih +own knew 
everybody else and H - was like one ^iah+ -family. 


Bu+ i"Kai doesn't sound so ■^reai -to ME. X like 
my privacy, a hi X really don+ heed everyone 
knowing my persona! business. 



MOWDYj 

NEIGHBOR.' 


Mom says -the problem with society these days is 
that everybody s 30+ their nose in a screen and 
nobody takes the time to cjet to know the 
people 

who live around them, 

X doht really see eye io eye with Mom on that 
issue t though- 


2 





































Personally, X think a tittle separation is a 

GOOD thing. 



Lately, fAoms teen going around town with a 
petition to get people to stop using their phones 
and electronic gadgets Lor Lorty^eight hours. 



Let's UNPLUG 9)' 



to RECONNECT !*■ 

Electronics are cluttering our lives! Let’s put 





down pur devices for a weekend and get to 
know one another! Who's in? 



L 41. 



2 . 42 . 

3. 43, 























































































Mom heeds d kuhdred s^ha+ures Wore ske tab 
+dke +ke pe+i+ioh -to lowh ku+ $kes kavih^ 

trouble oje+tih^ people +o pu+ ~tke>r hame$ oh rh 


Xm jus+ kopihcj ske gives op oh +V>rS idea sooh, 
because i+s kihd 0/ exkaus+ihg -for +ke res+ o-f us 
+0 pre+ehd we doh + khow ker. 



X really doh + uhders+ahd wky Mom +kjhks we 
heed +0 30 BACKWARD, ahyway, From wka+ X 

cah fell, -+ke old days wereh + +k*+ muck koh. 


Xf you +k*hk abou+ i+, you hever see ahyome Jh 
■+kose klack^ahd^wki+e pko+os SAILING. 
























































































CjQUEAK 

5QUEAK 


Xh +Ke oM days, people were jus+ a whole lo+ 

TOUGHER +hah +h^ are +oday. 


Bu+ hunah beih^S have EVOLVED j aind how 
we heed +hih^s like elet+nc +oo+htroshes ahd 
shoppihci nails ahd so£t-serve ice crean +o Survive. 



5 




















X be+ our ahces-tors wouU be pref+y disappoih+e<J 
wi+K -the way we +vrheci qyHK But ohte somebody 
ihVeh+ed air-tohtji+bhih.tj, iK^e really was ho 
turhihg back. 



VJe’ve ^otteh so Spoiled +ha+ pre-Hy sooh we woh+ 
eveh have +o leave our Kories if we Johi wah+ io. 



1 SAID NON 
rWONNAlSEO 


6 





























Ih fdti, ihe way were headedj I'll tei a 
ihousahd y^ars -from how humah t>eih<j$ wohi eveh 

have SPINES. 



Some people complaih ihai all if is iechholoojy 
has made us sofi, Bui rf you ask me, ihais hoi 
hetessarily a BAD ihiVg. 





"There are all SORTS of lurries howadays ihai 
make peoples lives teiier. , .. _ r _ 

example. People were usihej regular ioilei paper for 
of years, ahd iheh all of a suddeh some 
^gehlus came up wrth ah idea ihai was a ioial 
^ame 


7 












Whai really anazes me is iha+ f+ 'took so LONG 
-for people +o cone uj? wi+H ifie idea. X seriously 
tah+ Relieve -the ^uy who iriVemded the lit^h+bulb 
didni see baby wi^es coning. 



A^d who KNOWS whai crazy ihpin<j soneovies 
ejoin'ina cone u^> with hex+ +o nake our lives easier. 
Whatever pi is, though > X H be the. first - ih lihe to 
buy Hr* 


Bui if Mon had HER way, we d be living like people 
d(d before there were co neuters ahd cell ^hohes 
ahd baby wipes. 


Arid X really dohi ward 1 to ima^ihe livih^ ih a 
world without- baby wi^es. 


































































Sund ay 

Pad says +^a+ wheh ME was ^rowihg up, ih the 
summcr+ime kids played oudside all day, uh+il +hey 
^o+ called home for dither a+ hi^h+- 



VieII, +ha+s pre*tty much +he OPPOSITE of +he 

way MY summer weh+ -this year. 


I speirvt July ahd August a+ Elm Camp, where 
all I did was wa-tth movies rh ah air-cohdiiiohed 
+hea+er for ei-^h+ hours a day* 


The maih reasoh X sighed up -for Film Camp was 
because X thought i+ was for people who are 
SERIOUS abou+ moV.es, like ME. 























































B 0 + X fftfrid ou+ A was REALLY jos+ a ^>1 

where pareh+s could dump +he«r ktds off ffr 
cheap babySrHiVvg. 


ace 

some 



Xhe dowhSiJe of spehdl^ +ha+ much -time In a dark 
-+hea+er Is +ha+ ai +he e^d o-f the Jay i+ -took a 
half hour -for my eyes +o ad ios+ +o +he 




10 
















































The other reason X sighed for Fflrn Camp was 

+o ^et oot of the MOUSE* Fver siinte we ^oi a 
? j 3 



, i+ haSh’t beeh a lot of fuh beihg home. 


Especially hot a-l 1 DINNER. 



For the record j X thihk its a TERRIBLE 

pdea lettihej the pi<^ eat at the table, because it 

ALREADY thlhks its a homah beihg, AhJ the 

Iasi thing we heed is for it +o think rts oh e^oal 
footing with the rest of os* 


Ricjht after we ^ot the pig, Morn thought it would 
be foh to teach it some tricks* So she would give 
the pig a cookie when it stood oh its hind legs* 



11 



























But +he pig learned +o WALK like +ha+, and 
i+ Ij^ritsinHr been oh till fours ever since. "To make 
ma+ter$ WORSE, ry IHH-le bro+her, Manny, put 
a pair of his shor-ts oh -the pig, so how its like 

a PrShey character. 


were living in +he house wrth 



Mom used +o "take the pig ou+Side, tu+ after i+ 
s+arted walking upright t i+ decided rt was +oo 
good for i+s leash* 



Mom was worried +ha+ if +he pig rah off wed 
heVer find i+, so she go*t a collar wi+h one of 
■those GPS -tracking chips >h i+. 



























B</+ every +ime Mo™ +he collar oh -the pi^, 
wi+hfh five ™ihu+e$ it woulsj be bade OFF. Ahd 
doht eveh ask ™e how the p<3 did THAT, sihee 
pigs io h+ eveh have THUMBS. 



So how the pig just ahd goes as r+ 

pleases , ahd wKo KNOWS where ft spehds f+s 
time* Vlhat really s+ihks »s that I have a curfew 
but the pig DOESN T. 



13 






































X 4 w>jc ^ivit^ +|ie +oo r™ivy privileges is o 
REALLY W id ed t Ohe day pi^s Will rule -the 
worlds ahd it LI be ry familys fault for startitv^ 
it dll. 


I wouldvft really have dm issue With the picj if 
it didftt interfere with MY life* But X was late 
ov> the first day of school because it was Ko^ih^ 
the bathroom. 



With the pi^ ih the KouSej X was actually lookih^ 

FORWARD +o school startih^, But ohce X ^ot 

there X realised it was j,us+ the same old thihg. 

































Ahd be fiohes+ wi+lh X feel like X^c beeh 

lm riddle scKool FOREVER. 



X heeded +o mi* +K<’h-0S uo a, IrHle or X was 

^ohha op craty, So ih ‘the firs+ week of school, X 
Voloh+eered for the t^onework Bod d res ^ro^nr^. 


SEA MIDDY! 




TEAM UP WITH AN 
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 
KID TO LEND A HAND! 


15 













up was so 

skip iWd period, wKicK is Music class wi+h Mrs* 
Graziano* 


Bu+ 


e ma<h reason 


X signed 


X could 


Xo give you an ideft of How long Mrs. Graziano 
Has teen +Ke music -teacHer,, DAD Had Her wHen 
He was IMY age, Arid apparently spending tHirty 
years -teaching middle schoolers How to play musical 
instruments DOES sometHirg to a person* 



Last week X met my Homework Buddy, tHis kid 
named Frew. X tave no idea wHy He even sighed 
up for +Fe program, tHougH, because He$ one 
of tHo$e people wHo reads scientific journals and 
college textbooks for FUN. 


1.6 


















The first time we ^ot together, Frew showed me 
his homework , which was some tolorihg aind a word 
fihd- Trew said he didh*t heed ary help, ahd theh 
he asked +o see MY homework. 


X had at LEAST ah hour of Math problems Ahd 
a Geography assrcjhmeht that would Ve takeh me 
ANOTHER two hours, hot Frew whipped through 
all of rt ih about fifteeh mihutes. 

f 



Ahd he wash t Just fast, he was GOOD- X turhed 
ih the assignments the next day, ahd wheh X ^ot 
them back from mv -feathers, X had perfect stores. 


17 








A+ firs+ I felt d Irttle W dtou-fr ge-Hing hel’p 
fro™ d +F‘rd grader. Bu+ -tFeh I redliied +H<H" 
Homework Bud dies are SUPPOSED +o kelp each 


o+her ou+. 



+ 0 3 e 

jus+ H^hd hin d ^de o{ aSSi^hr^eh+S dhd le+ Kin d 
his 'thihi^ Xhe way X sec rL +his is workiivj ou+ 


+W, X 


So how wheheVer me dhd Frew ^e+ 


for eve 


7 


ohe. 



SCRIBBU 
acWBBLe 
5CR1&BLE 


My ohly cornel diH" dbou+ Frew is +^d+ Sometimes 
Hes TOO H^S fceeh ^e-H-ihg tored 

wl+h my homework, so he scried mdkihg 

assighmeh+s +o CHALLENGE himself. 




Xhe other d<y he wrote a paper dhj attached it 
+o my REGULAR homework /or extra trecfiH - - But 
lock -1 


X checked it over before hahdtv^ it if\- 


Detecting Commutative 
Permeability in Physics 



For a while X was just ^ad to he tjettt^ some 
But recehtl 

that sihce Xm the ohe who "discovered’' Frew, I 
deserve some ki^d of credit if he ^oes ofi to do 

ti^ things. 


\omewo 


rk help. 


X ve beev\ thihkihg 



HOBEL PRIZE Ch 



























Wdnesd ay 

As if our House wasnt crowded ENOUGH, now 


GRANDPA is liVrh^ WitH uS. 


XHey raised tHe rent at Leisure lowers, and He 
couldnt afford to live tHere ahynore. So Mon 
invited Grandpa to rv>Ve in wit b OUR family. 

Pad wasnt so Hot on +He idea, even tHoo-cjH 
Grandpa is His own fatHer* But l^on says it will 
be just like +He old days, wHen tHree generations 
lived under tHe sane roof* 




X tHink l^om Has tHis rosy imacje of tHe way things 
used to be, but X Heave a TOTALLY different 
picture of wHat it mustve keen like back tHen, 


ZO 









































X was ac+uaiy Ok 

us uVvKl X realized w i-t neahl -for ME, Mor^i 
le+ GrahdipA ahy tedroo™ ke wAhled* ahd of 
course ke ckose MINE. 


wi+k Grandpa moVihg ih wi+k 



Xkal meant X needed to find a new place to 
sleep, My first 1 tkougkt was to 30 to tke ^uest 

A^d tkeres ho WAY t n skarihij tke 
coock vvl+k a i>arn animal. 


iq stays, 
puliout 


room, tot X forgot tkats wkere ike 



21 









































































X ruled out RODRlCK S room ri^h+ away,, because 
he micjht actually be a step down -from the PIG, 

My only other choice was to room with NANNY, 
so X <^ot out the air bed and set it up on his 
floor, But sleeping iln Manny s room has its 
OWN problems* 

Mom reads Manny a bedtime story every ni^ht, and 
Sometimes they Ve really LONG* Xn -fact, lately 
X third; Manny s been picking out the thickest 
books he can find just to get on my nerves. 



IN A HOLE IN 
GROUND THERE 
LIVED A H0B81T 


11 




































































Thirds ^ dVe keen d k'+tk +e^$e ever ^' h ce Grandpa 
moved <ft. You tan -fell he doesn't really disprove of 
+he way Horn and Pad are raising uS bds, even 
-frhou^h he never ac+ually comes ou+ and SAYS i+. 

Moms been +rying +o po*Hy +rain Manny 

FOREVER, an,d shes experimenting wrth 
Somethin^ tilled ^io F<*irv+s After Pihner, 


And its EXACTLY what it sounds like. 



VJhats SUPPOSED +o happen is that when 
Manny ’feels the urge to GO, he 11 run to the 
bathroom. 


23 













B<rt jusi prdhtes around dll lr>^K+ wiH-^1 

ho+tiih^ oh below -the waist. A^d eVeHvally he 
ducks behind the redder fh the family room. 



X doht +bnhk Pads a huge fah 0/ hio Pahts 
After Pthher, but X cair\ tell hes eveh MORE 

uncomfortable with Grandpa bein^ here +0 
witness ;t. 



1 +s pretty obvious haVihg Grandpa around h 
really stressing Pad out. A^d every time one 
0/ os kids screws upj it just makes Pad even 
MORE tense. __. _ _ 

( oops? ) 


m 
m 


2 ^ 

























VJhat seems to ahhoy Pad the MOST is wheh, 
ohe of u$ kids asks Mom to do Somethihg that we 

should t>e able to do OURSELVES. 

Yesterday X asked Mom to opeh a microwave 
burrito for me, because X always Have trouble with 
those plastic -packages. 

B>ut Pad jumped all oVer my case. H e Said if X 
was strahded oh a desert islahd with a thousahd 
microwaVe burntos, Xd STARVE to death 
because X couidht figure out how to opeh them 
oh my QWh. 



Z5 





X toid Pad that the ch ances of me getting 
stranded on a desert isUhd with a thousand 
microwave burritos were pretty slim, but he said 
I was missing the point. 

He said if X doht leam how to do things by 
MYSELF, Xj^ not ^gonna be able to survive in 
the real world.” 


Another thihcj Pad hates is how l^om still helps 
me ^et ready For school ih the morning, She 
picks out my clothes the night before t and she 
has a chart hahging in the kitchen to help me 
stay on track. 


Soap Breakfast Teeth Shower 



^:: -Til 



Hair 


/ 


Underwear Socks 


Pants 


Shirt 


‘v? 

< 3 &\ 


0<& 


Shoes 


26 

















































X ^uess was pre*Hy embarrassed by the 

cKdr+j because +he o+her day he +ook i+ do win. 
Bert 1 wi+hov+ 'tha^ +Kih^ ~to ^uide me -through +he 
morhiYwjj X 30+ ihe order of +hi*\^s all wror^j 
ahd eroded op wearily socks over ny shoes. 



These days,, 1 +hiink Pads jvs+ WAITING for 
me +0 screw up. "This morhiin^ X for^o+ +0 put +he 
cap back ov> ihe +obe of 'too+hpas+e, aind Pad was 

ready +0 POUNCE. 



ll 



















































X didn't ihi^k i+ was d bi^ deah bu+ Pad ^dve me 

+his lo^g Speech aboi/t Kow li+tle -thi^S have trg 

kl 

toftse^uehtes. 


H[e said if X was a kid ^ r ^ Wj ^3 U1 p ^ frorrh’er 
Hrimes ahd r+ was rrjy job +o fi^h^el"* +he bo!+S oY\ 

+he wa^oh wheels but X FORGOT +o , -ihert +he 
wheels would fall off a^d our family would ^e+ ea+en 
by wolves. 



X +houcjh+ Pad was beitt^ kihd of dramatic, bo*t 
,+ DlD make me feel a IrHle abooi +ha+ 
+oo+h , pa5‘l'e cap. 












I m ho+ the only one who s teen <jettintj on Pad s 
nerves, though* Uci-t-e.1^j Rodritks been ^ettin^ under 
Pads skjVi> too. 


Whenever Rodritk needs gas for his van, he hits 
Mom up -for money, But a few nights ago he made 
the mistake of doing it in front of Grandpa, 



Pad said +ha+ from now on, Rod rick has to pay 
for his OWN gas. And when Rod rick asked how 
he was Supposed to do TWAT, Pad said it was 
time for him to aet a JOB, 








So Horn helped Rodrick ^o +Krou<jK +Ke Hel^> 
V\lah+ed Sec+ioh of +Ke hews^a^er +o find Kim a 
jot +Kd+ doesn't retire ahy skills or experience. 


Tkey finally found ah ad -for a res+aurah+ +Ka+s 
at>ou+ fif+eeh minuses -from our house. 



X went -to tKe Old-XTiey Xce Cream Parlour 
for Rowleys last' KirtKday party, and that 
experiehce may KaVe PERMANENTLY ruined ice 
cream -for me. 


30 















They have this ohe dessert oh the nehu tilled the 
Teedihg Trowjh/' which is FORTY stools of 

ice trean dll ih ohe lohg tray. Ahd wheh you nix 
different flavors of ice ere an together, it Just 
turns into ^ray slop. 



The 01 J-”T 7 mey Xte Crean Parlour is one of those 
plates where the whole staff tones to your table 
■to sin^ for your birthday. That nates ne really 
uncomfortable, because its pretty obvious theyd 
rather be doinaj ANYTHING else. 



J ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY A? , 
AND WE'RE WERE TO SAY * 
i WE MOPE YOUR DAY IS DANDY 


n 


IN AN OLD-FASHIONED WAY J1 


31 





















Rocinck had ah interview at the restaurant earlier 
in the week, and believe it or not, he got the 
job, Saturday was his first night of work, and 
Hon thought it would te a good idea for the rest 
of us to surprise Rodrick and cheer him oh. 

But when we got to the restaurant, we couldht 
fed him anywhere. Horn was pretty worried, tut 
eventually we found hi™ out back. 




Hon washt happy that Rod rick was on trash duty, 
and she gave the manager a piece of her m.nd. 


32 


















































Birt ike pumper said Rodntk was ah "Wiry level" 
en<j>loyee ahj ikai eVeryohe wko works ai +ke 
resiaurard- ka$ io pay +heir dues. 


dll jusi 

30 kone ahd leave kin alohe a-fier ikai, kui Hon 
warded +0 siick around- /\^d wkeh F.odritk wehi 
ov> kis fil+eeh-ninu+e kreakj we kuh^ oui wiik kin 
en^loyee 




Xn ^re*Hy sure Rodrick was kopiv^ wed 



Rodrick s^eivt ike resi of ike fti^ki iakih^ ike 
irask 'from ike kiickeri oui +0 ike Punp sier, 
and X d|Uess Hon wahied +0 see kin ohe more 
iine ke^ore we lefi, So ske iold our waiier ii was 
HdhVys fcirikday, dhd ike waiter called ike wkole 
sia£f +0 our iaile. 


33 

























Bu+ X wi’sK Horn didin + tjo and Jo +ha+, because 
+heres some+hih^ abou+ +he srnell 0 / cjarbacje Juice 
4ia+ really ruins vour ap'pe+i+e* 



...AND IF YOU'RE FEELIN' WUNGRY\ 
YOU'RE AT TME PERFECT PLACE \ 
NOW JUST BLOW OUT TUAT CANDLE 1 
SO YOU CAN STUFF YER FACE' 


Mond ay 

La+ely, Mor^s been +ryih^ +0 cje+ Grandma +0 
■Fell os kids abocT wha+ life was like when ME was 
^rowln^ uy. 


Grandpa says +h*+ when he was yoorv^ +hey didn + 
have +eleVisiohs or anythin^ like +ha+, so kids 
S^evvt mo5+ of +heir -time ou+doors flaying ^ames 
like Kick i\\z Can, 


3 T 








Growh-ups are ALWAYS +aljk<htj atoir+ flaying 

Kick ‘the Cah* One +ifne pie ahd "Rowley actually 
cjave i+ a try +o See what 1 +he bicj deal waij bui we 
<^ui+ after abo^t thirty seconds* 



WANNA GO 
INSIDE AND 
PLAY TWISTED 
WIZARD? 


Pad says when he was a k;J, t, e an d his best 
friends Giles } would just use -+Reir imaginations and 


^>Uy all day in the woods. 



35 















































OUR ima^ihatiohS 

ohce, but Rowleys dad ^ut ah ehd to it before we 
could eveh ^et djoih^. 


Vlellj me ahd Rowley tried using 



i ..r u.j^ jWvw 


X ROWLEY JEFFEPSOnT\ 

YOU PUT DOWN Y\> 

THAT STICK RIGHT j \ 

THIS instant; / | 






Pad said todays parents are over protective, and 
that when he was a kidj he ahd Giles roamed free 
and never even bothered to tell +Re;'r parehts 
where -they were goihg. 


But rAom said ft was a lot SAFER back In those 
days,, and how its too dangerous -for kids to be off 
oh their owh without adult supervision, Pad said 
that might be true, but kids like me ahd Rowley 
heed to learh how to PROTECT ourselves. 


36 












































Pad said wheh he was <h niddle school, he ahtj Giles 
tuned s^uff all over +owh so +ha+ if +hey ever ^o+ 
cornered, +hey could fi^h+ iheir wa^ ou+. 



Bu+ Grandma h*d a differeM 1 version of -ttav^s* He 
said Pad arvd Giles raided 'the krkheh drawer for 
silverware; arid THAT S wha+ +hey slashed all over 
-the neighborhood. 



37 



























VJheh pads mother realised her forks ahd khives 
were missihg, she made the boys dig them all up 
ahd brih^ them BACK. 


After that, Pad ahd Giles ^ot their hahds oh 
some PLASTIC utehsils. But they cjot ih+0 ah 
ar^umeht over whether or hot a spork could be 
used for sekf-defehse, ahd th'h^s turhed ugly. 



Giles told his mo ther what Pad did ahd showed 
her the spork marks to prove it, X guess those 
mustVe beeh differeht times, because Giless mom 
beht Pad over her khee ahd SPANKED him. 


33 








Seej ika+s ike problem wi+k pui+ih,^ +oo muc k s+ock 
pm ike old days. You remember all +ke GOOD s+uff, 

bui you for^ei aboui ike iime you 30+ spahked by 
your besi friehd s mam* 

Wednesday 

X .guess X ikou^ki Grandpa would live wi+k 
us far a li-Hle wkile and +keh find a place +ka+ 
was ckeaper +k*n Leisure Toners* Bu+ haw X*m 
s+ar+in^ +o worry +ka+ i+s PERMANENT. 


And +ka+s ho+ a ^ood +kih^, because Xri ho+ 
sure kow muck longer X cah be Mahhys roomna+e. 












for one "thin^, i+s ho+ dignified -fo share a room 
wi+h a person who doesn't wear pants after dinner. 




And Grandpas almost just as bad* When he moved 
out of Leisure lowers, his girlfriend, Parlene, 
broke up wi th h im. Lately, hes been moping 
arouhd the house ih a bathrobe, which means X 
cant really have friends over. 


I| !ji{i!ii!!I, 


Ho 































































































X figure +be sooher Grahd^nfs back ih ibe gane, 
+be Sooner be ^oves out, So Xve been showing 
Grandpa bow +o do online da+ihg +o b^p hi™ 
break ou+ of b<£ funk. 


X +bink Xve crea+ed a MONSTER, +bough. biow 

Grandmas oh +be coi^pirter fweMy-foor boors a 

Jay, and bes 30+ a-f LEAST fifty rela+iohsbips 

going SiWi-taneously. 


Pon+ even ask ne bow he keeps -track of wbo s who. 



Belinda 

has sent 
you a wink 


Jj& I Bethany 

sCTV would tike 
to meet 



Martha 

likes your 

profile 

picture 



Tiffany 

has sent 
you a 
poke 




# 

Sylvie 


Marjorie 





likes your 
knock- 

l“jW 1 a,At “ *)*■ 

thinks you 
are nice 





knock joke 
































TkihgS are s+ar+ihg +o +urh arouhd for R^drick, 
+oo* H e +old Mo ni Ke cjo+ ci ^romo+ioh a+ work , So 

we had +o ^>ile ih+o 

30 sKow Kin our su^ort. 

Xm ho+ sore if Id call Rodricks hew posl+ioh a 

PROMOTION, +K003K. TKeyve 30+ Kirn dressihg 
u^ cis Old-Iney lotias, +Ke res+aurah+s mastc+. 


+K& car +0 


of course +oftujK+ 


A^areh+ly +he ^guy wKo Kad +he jot LAST 30+ 

fired for teihg Seen wi +Kou+ Ks h ead oh* And 
In ^uessih^ wKeh i+ cones +0 masco+s, +Ka+s a 

HUGE ho^ho. 














































Oid-T^ey T^ias >s imposed +o walk aroohd the 
restaurant and 30 /ron tafcle ~\o table nakin^ 
little kids happy* But as -far as X tan tell, be has 

the OPPOSITE effect. 



Xh fact, kids seen to really MATE Old^X^ey 
"Tobias. Vlhein we got there tonight, "Rodrick was 
getting it fron every Side, 

























































































































Rod rick told fAo m that h'S naha^er warhed h'n 
if he was ever caught without his Tobias head oh, 
he'd be -fired oh the spot. 


Luckily, ohe of the eyes oh the cos tunes head 
cones out, which is the ohly way Rod rick was 
able +o stay hydrated- 



X n startfh^ to wohder if the ^,uy who had the 
job dressihg op as Old-X^ey Tobias got fired 

oh PURPOSE. 


Xf X had to bet oh how lohg Rodrick lasts, Xd 
give hin two weeks, tops. 

















Friday 

AH iuw di school beeh aboo+ +His bi^ 

+o H<Wstrabble Farms +baVs conih^ uf> 
hey+ moh+H' 

Vlbeh yoo cje+ +o my cjradej -the whole class cjoes oh 
a weeklohg +rip +o +his ^lace where you slee^> ih lo^ 
tabihS ahj learh abou+ haiore ahd hard work* 


XF sore (+s a blas+ if yoore ih+o +ba+ sort 0/ 
Hhbuh^, fco'V Xve already decided Xr» ^ohha be 
+he ohe kid who s+ays BACK wheh everybody 
else beads off oh +he +rip. 






























Ahj wKi!e +He REST of my classma+es (ire swea+ihcj 
i+ oo+ rh +He woods, X H be iln +He school I it r ary 
ehjoyitvj dll +He tomfor+s of +He modern world- 



Moms beeh frying ^ei me +o cKdhge my mind 
tecdose sHe +l>rmts XU regret ho+ o,oih^. 


X really doobi iHaVs 
Heard Horror s+ories from kids wHo wen+ away io 
Hardscrabble Farms, and X remember +He le+fers 
Rodnck sen+ Home wHen WE wen+ +Here, 


^onna Happen, +HougH- Xve 



% 



























Xh fat+, Hoclrick seemed kihd of frayna-lYLed by 
+he whole ex^eriehte, Vlheh he 30+ back from -the 
+rjip he crawled i'h+o bed ahd s+ayed +here for ah 
eh+ire weekend- 



Xoday was -+he deadbhe for ^itkih^ who yoo 
wah+ed +o room with, ahd a+ luhch eVeryohe was 
scrambling +o ^e+ into a 300d cabin- X was 3 UI 
already decided X washi ^oih<^ because X really 
didn't wah+ +o deal wrth all +ha+ drama. 



X fel+ a li++le bad for Kowley because he was 

cooh+ih^ oh buhkih-ej wr+h ME, Wheh X +old him X 

wa$h+ ^oih^ oh fhe iri^, he weh+ aro^hd Seeing if 
anyone had ah o^ehih^ ih -their cabin. 




































Bu+ by +he erid 0/ ■fke Linch period, -things werein+ 

looki^io good /or him* 



I cah+ really worry abou+ Rowley, +hoigh> because 
Xve go+ ry OWN problems -to deal with. 

Monday* Kom arid Pad 30+ a let+er /rom -the 
School saying they had +0 come in /or a special 
^areht-teacher coh/ereince. 


XVe been worried sick all week because X 
■thought X mustve forgotten +0 cross Trews 
name Mof one 0/ ry homework assignments 
and X was rh trouble. 


But that wasnt it at ALL. 












iw reasoh the school asked Mom arid pad to 
tome ih was +o tell them -that ry homework 
grades ■have improved so much, thyTe 

me Ih harder classes. 



pu-H-ihfj 


VJell, Xm sure Trew will appreciate haVih^ more 
challeh^rhcj homeworks but he caht be there to 
help me durih^ TESTS. So uhless X cah figure 
out a way to sheak him ihto school, Xm hever 
^ohha pass. 



VJheh Mom arid Pad came home -from the pareht- 
teacher coh/e rerice, Mom said we heeded to 
celebrate the ^ood hews. 











Of course THAT mean+ 0oin0 +o +he Old'X^e 
Xce Cream Parlour, 


X was 0e++ih0 a lirHta sick of spend in0 every 
riP0^+ <*+ Rodricks work, and X +h<nk (orandpa 
was feelih0 +he same way. He +old Mom ice cream 
makes his ^ums hur+ and he was 0onna s+ay home 
+his +ime around* 



X +ried usir\0 +he same excuse, buH - Mom was 
dead se+ on us aoinq. 


VJhen we 00+ +o +he res+auran+j +hou0h, Rod nek 
was nowhere io be found* Xhe manager told Mom 


+h^+ Rod nek never showed up for work* 



50 








Tha+ se1n+ Mom iw+o a PANIC, And we jo+ hack 
pin +he vah +o ap look -for him. We drove all over 




VJheh we pulled over, Kodrick <jo+ ih ihe Vain ahd 
explaihed wha+ happened. He sa P d -there was a 
■traffic jam oh -the highway ahd he was gohha be 
la-te for work* So he 30+ «h+o 
where he could go a lo+ FASTER. 

Bo+ -the role for -the car-poo! lahe is -tha't you 
have +0 have a+ leas+ TWO people pin your vehicle. 


+he car-pool lahe, 


51 














So Rodritk mack it loo k like Totias was 

sitting next +o hin in the passenger seat. 

Unfortunately, some ea^le^eyed cop pulled hin over. 



P POLICE 


t>« cop wasn't amused and ^aVe Rod rick a 'ticket 
■for one hundred dollars. "Then he found all sorts 
of thm^s wron^ with the van, like a broken 
tail light and an expired inspection sticker. 


After that, the cop had Rodricks van towed 
and left h in stranded on the side of the road- So 
Rodrick was a HUGE target for all the kids who 
were stuck ih the traffic jam. 


52 





























l^Wi +old Pad drive home so she throw 
Rojricks coS+ume ih +he wash'^ machihe, But 
wheh we 00+ +o oor street, there were coirs 
parked up arid dowh oh ko+h sides. 


There were even cars parked oh our LAWN, which 
was pretty s+r ah^e. 











































VJe had +o park +he vah a+ +Ke to-Hom of +he 
Kill rth<J walk up -the siree-h ViKeh we fiddly 30+ 
+0 our yard; you Could hear loud music comity from 
i\\t house. 

A^d whev> we opened +he frov>+ door, -there was a 



VJe had +0 push +hrou^h +he crowd +0 frhd 
Grandpa, who was ou+ tack ih our old ho+ +ut. 
A^d from -the look of "thirdsj he was having +he 
iime of KiS LIFE. 


5 ^ 

















P40 kicked everyone oo+ o-f +ke noose, wKcn 

took FOREVER, mostly because fto ohe was j'h, a 

bi^ Kvrry to teaVe. 



VJheft everyone was ^ofte^ PaJ I ft ihto Grahd^a 
/or having a ^arty. 


55 



















































































Grahdpa said he didh+ PLAN oh h^ihcj a parly. 
He said he tried to ihviie ONE lady from his 
datiivj site over to watch a movie, but he mvstve 
accidehtally hit "sehd all." Ahd theh eYeryohe 
showed up at ohce. 



Pad was really mad^ hid- it mustVe been awkward 
-for him +o come up With a puhishmeht -for his 
owh father. 


X ^uess he cooldht thihk of ahythihg better, so 
he just 


put Grahdpa ih -fame-oid-. 



56 
















X wish we h<*d doine a be+ter job of clearing ou+ 
+he ^ar+y cjues+s when we ^o+ ho^e* -though* 
because -there were a -few stragglers in Mannys 
room who d<dn+ poke their heads out until they 
thought the coast was clear. 




£ver since Grandpa h*d h^ parly, Pad hasht 
been wrlling to leave him home alone, And when 
DAD cant be there to watch h in, he makes one 
of US do it. 


Grandpas supposed to sit ih time-out -for an 
hour a day to work off his punishment, but 
he likes to do that in front of the television 
instead of pin the Conner. 


57 































So it you re oh Graha^a duiy, you have +o wa+ch 
wha4ever HE watv+s 4o wa+ch. 



UP YOUR NOSE 
WITH A. RUBBER 
HOSE! 


Bu+ durirvg +he school day, Grahdpa is hoaie 
ALONE, and X -fK<hk Pads hervous +Keres 

^ohha be aho+Ker p 



So ke weh+ ou+ ahd bouojk't ohe of +kose webcams 
+o r*iake sure +kere >W+ ah' 
oh while hes work- 


fuinhy tushess ^oihg 


X don't khow where he PUT i+, exde+ly. Bu+ wha+ 
I DO kno W is that Ke S hot juS+ uSihij it +0 keep 
ah eye oh GRANDPA, 


5 S 

















Xi'*' <*11 {of +ecWlogy, i>y+ wVtein i+s used 

AGAINST me. 1 dott+ like having a tar-iera iin 

-the house, because nowadays -there are cameras 
everywhere you -turn. 


A^d j-f you ever do sopie+hift^ cpibarrassih^ in a 
public plate, trust- ne, i+s ^onna <je+ recorded. 



But -the worst" +hihd| is tell phohe cameras, because 

Nowadays EVERYBODYS <^o+ one. 


51 





















































Last summer wf eh X was ^e'H'ih^ ou+ of +be 

+QWh ^>oolj, my ba+^ihg Surf fell do^h d Ji+tle dh<J 

everyone saw ft ha^eh* 



AhJ before X eVeh dried off , +be ^iciures were 
posted dll over +he Xh+erme'h 



Ca ria 


Saw this at the 


town pool today I 
likes 



Nancy 


This kid really 
"cracked" me op! 



60 












































Xtase days you tdh eveh £je+ jVi -trouble for -taking 
d picture of YOURSELF. A few moHd\$ ago we 

weirt -to bruhth after church, arid wheft we left 
the restaurant, X felt Ipjke X might have spinach 
in my teeth- 


X wasn't anywhere near d mirror, so X borrowed 
Moms tell phone to take d picture of myself, just 
■to make sure. 



But Some lady in front of me thought X was 
taking a photo of WER, and she wouldnt let 
us ledve until she looked -through the pictures on 
Morn S phone -to make Sure X WADN T, 



6l 




















Viow "theft X th'hk of rtj that might Ve fceeh 
what started Horn oh this eledrohics-free idea 
to begih with- 

Speakrhg of which, Hon got all the signatures 
she heeded to take her ^etitioh to T>wh Hall, 


The way she GOT them was \>y intercepting all 
the partygoers as they were leaving our house 
the other hrght. 



After tAom took the petition to ~towh Hall, the 
leaders had a Vote and made it official. So this 
Saturday, the whole town is going to Voluntarily 
unplug for the weekend* 


62 









made r+ her missioh +o ■the word oui' ■+o 
as maty people as possible. X*m trying -to keep d 
low profile uwtil -this whole +h<h^ is over, bu+ Mom 
hdShi ]>eeh makir^ «■+ easy. 



X +hi^k tirHmg ourselves off from the ou+side 
world is d bad idea. Xf +heres a romtie apocalypse 
or some+hiVuj bi<^ like that, were goriina he the 

LAST oi^es +o kftow. 





























Friday 

As par+ of elec+rtfaks-free weekend, 

everyone’s supposed +o tone down io +f e +owh 'park 
+omorrow for a Voluh+ary deanop. 

bo*! 1 i+s cjohha +ake a lo+ more +hah oine af+erhooh 

+o make a dent in THAT mess* 

’Tkese days, +ke park looks like some+fihg ou+ of 
a movie wkere +Heres teeh a nuclear war. 



6 ^ 






















































The park used +o be NICE, bu+ ‘thihtjs weh+ 
downhill when +he +owh rah ou+ of mo hey. 

The main reason was because -they vo+ed +o build a 
one-way "cell phone only 1 ’ pa+h -through +he park, 
since half +he +ime people oh +he REGULAR 
paih weren+ wa+chiht^ where -they were o,olh0. 



t K ' h Av "w hs > jpFki^JMF M * ^ 


i**w M»w m * *k * ,i 


So all +he money +ha+ was supposed +o ^o +o 
regular cleanup weh+ +o +his hew pa+h for people 
who wan+ed +o use +heir elec+rohic devices while 
+hey walked. 


65 
















But tke project ^ot too expensive, Ahd tkey k*d 
+o cancel iit before tkey finished tke -footbridge 
oVer tke creek. 


Xhe park ^ot really rub-down after tkat, and 
families stopped coning once teenagers took over. 
So if tk e people organizing tkis cleanup are Smart, 
tke first tking tkeyH do is find ah exterminator 
tkat specializes in teenagers. 


Saturday 

X Have no idea w kat ti me X woke up tkis momibg, 
because tke clock ob Mabbys dresser was unplugged. 
Xb fact, EVERYTHING in tke k ouse was 
unplugged, wkitk goes to skow tkat Mom was 
taking tkis electrobics-free +kib^ pretty literally. 


66 


























The ‘thilrt^ X to+iced was -there were a 
LOT of peo 

So I ^u£SS eVeryohe had decided +o ifv+o the 
old~+ime s^in'+. 


pie ou+ walkih^ rh the hei^hhorhood. 



X was pUhhilrvg oh just reUwhg ahd readih^ 
comic hooks oh the couch dill day, hiH* Pad said 
should take advah+a^e of dll the foot traffic. 


X 


He said whelm ME was a kid# he Ahd Giles opened 

io huy 

them each a hew skateboard. 1 said X thought a 
lemohade S+ahd was a GREAT idea. 


lemohade stand Ahd earned enough money 


67 























Pad surprised me by biahdihg over fweh-ty dollars ih 
Seed mohey -fo help me ^e+ S+ar+ed* 



X khew X was ^ohha lneed a busihess parther. 
So X tailed Kowley and "fold him +o tome dowh* 


X -figured we d ^e+ ^oihg by lookihej up +he 
recipe for lemohade oh +he Xh+erhei, bu+ Mon 
had Kiddeh +Vie power cord +o +he tompu+er. X 
was a lH-fle embarrassed +0 ask Pad, 50 me ahd 
Rowle 


decided +0 wihg rh 


X khew wed heed lemohs for sure, so we rode our 
bikes dowh Hro ihe cohvehiehte s+ore ahd bou^h+ 
ou+ +keir whole supply. 



6S 















VJheh we go+ back hone, we didn’t khow -the exact 1 
hunker of lenohS +o pu+ ih -the prkher. So we 
weh-t oh +he high Side jui+ +0 be Safe, 



X was pre^Hy sure +he ohly o+Her ihgredleh+ for 
lenohade besides wa+er Is SUGAR, bu+ we <Mh+ 
khow how nueh of TWAT we were supposed +o use, 
ei+her, So we jus+ eyekalled rh 



X +hough+ a-f+er +ha+ we were pre+ty nuch good 
+o bu"t -+heh Pad cane dowhs+airs, Saw wha+ 
we were doihg, ahd "to(d uS we got 1+ ail wrohg. 


61 





























Pad said +ha+, firs+ 0/ all, +Ke GREEN lemohs 
we boi^h+ were actually LIMES,, so we had +0 
^ei rid of those* 



Xheh he said that +0 make lemonade we heeded 
+0 

iiirto tWee 1. ivVdKAI^lwauUlv 6 QJefc&2i£ttN£in© w 

at the te^ihhih^* 


But Rowley was too scared +0 tut the lemohS ketause 
he said theyd make his eyes water. X told him he 
was ^ettiir^ lemohs coin fused with ONIONS* 


He washt tudejihg, though, dhd X khew X had 
+0 do something about it or he wouldht help out. 


So X dog arouftd ih the cjaracje uhtri X foumd a 
mask Rowley could cover his eyes with. 


7o 

















Ohce Rowley 
le^ohs, which 
i+ would be* 


calmed dowhj we s-tor+ed cuf+ihej ihe 
w ds d LOT harder +h*h I -though+ 


Vlheh X sliced th+o +he FIRST lenoiri, X a 

shot of juice ri^h+ ih my eye. 



X'f siuh^ like CRAZYj aind X could barely see. 
Rowley -took +he snorkel ou+ of Rs mou-lR ahd 
s+ar+ed ih wi+h +he whole X +old you so stoff, 
bu+ X didh+ wanha hear i+. 


71 






















A'f'ter X 30+ r*y visioft tdtkj we s^ueexed dll o-f 
our Senofts ift-fa -the wd+er dhj $e+ up our $+dh<) 
oft +he Sidewalk* 



A ^ew people s+opped by, bu+ 1+ was jos-t +0 
tri+iciM every+hihg we were dopftej, Ohe lady +old 
us we fteeded +0 s+ir -the lemohade +0 nix -the 
Su^ar ift be++er. Bu+ eveft after we did THAT, she 
woulcjfth make d pureh* 


idse. 



Another who tasted our lenohade conplaifted 

that it wds ^00 SWEET, 


72 


































The v^exi few people said +he same +h‘ftg* So X 
dumped ou+ half +he prkher ahd added more wa+er* 
Bert 1 people didn't like where X GOT H- from* 



Ohe Qoy had a problem wr+h +he fact that we 
were usirig the same ^lass for every customer^ 
eVeh +hough X explained +o him that we were 
rinsing i+ ou+ after every use. 



73 



































Vje <^o+ +ireci of Sf++Jh^ oui in +he ho+ sun ahd 
decided our lemonade s+ahd would work Jus+ as well 
as a $e!f-$erVe business* So we ^u+ ou+ a jar where 
^>eo^le could pay for wta+ -they drank. 


Bu+ -the second you se+ an honor sys+em, 
somebody s ^o++d <jo and ruin i+ -for EVERYONE 



VJe realized we were Jus+ 
ahd man +he lemonade s+and fulE+ime. So we ^o+ 
ano+her c^lass from +he ki+chen cabinet and headed 
back ou+side. 


cjonna h*Ve +o suck i+ up 


Tf 





































X s+ar+ed +o ho+<ce +h«*+ +he ^eo^>le walking UP 

+Ke hill looked a lo+ ihirs^ier +hah +he people 
Wd IkiVi^j DOWN i ,j k So we pos+ed a hew pritihg 
policy +o -fake full advah+a^e. 

^ &~T\ -% 



A cookie of ^eo^>le +hou«jh+ our jar was for 
TlPSj and +hey droned ih some loose change. 
Af+Cf -+h*+> we s+ar+ed ^ushih^ +hc +ip£, 
because ahy mohey we broi/c}h+ in fha^ 1 way was 

100% ^rofi+* 



75 




















el ^oo 

kid earned Cedric Cuhhiri^ham se+ u^> kis OWN 

lemonade $+ahd a -few kou$e$ down. 




Arid i+ was ^re++y ofevtoos ke Had kelp from kte 
pareh+s,, because 1 - 4 IS s+and made ours loot like 


a JOKE. 



See, -tkis is -the problem wker* ^ou kave ain ori^ihal 
fdea, Eve seconds la+er youVe 30+ a rullioh copyca+s. 


Xm a professional, +ko^gk; and X wasn+ cjonna 
take a li+tle compe+i+ion personally. So X offered 
Cedric 'htfo bocks +o +ake Kis lemonade s+ahd 
down, and ke agreed +o f+. 


76 





































But a mihute later, he set up Vis stahd a^afh, 
this time directly across the street from u$* 

I was get+ihg pretty ahhoyed, because we were 
ruhhihc^ out of lemohade and X knew Pad washt 

more mohe 

Thats wKeh X realized if we Sold WATER 
instead of lemohade, we would save ourselves a lot 
of hassle. 


ejohhd i^'Ve trS dhy 


for ih<jrediehts. 


Plus, it was pre-Hy obvious Cedric Had cornered 
the lemonade ma rke+, ESPECIALLY af+er U 

pot up his hew sigh. 



77 































X knew ,f we were gohna sell wa-f-er, i+ would 

have +o seem ex+ra-S^edal io ge+ people +o PAY 

for H\ So X came t^p wi+K an —..^^1*- 

name, and "then X filled Mannys taiy ^?ool wi+h 
wa+er so we wouldn+ run ou+ for a wRle. 


Xf we were gonna call ihis siuff fi+ness 
water/ wed have te le+ ^eo^>le know i+ aeteally 

WORKED. So X had "Rowley do some jum^ng 
jacks and ^ush^^s in froni of our s+and* 



It 



































Luckily a cjoy who was actually ih sh°ipe came op 
the ri^h+ after that, ahd X offered to pay 
him a -few bucks if he told everyone he 30+ that 
way by Jrihkih^ our NRG Tri'thess VJater, 



But X ^oess he had better thi^S to do, because 
he -fold us he wa$ht interested. 


71 
































Uhforiuhaiely, a Qvy walkihg DOWN ike kill 
oVerkeard us, Wk Said k'<J be HAPPY +0 

ehdorse our produei* 



t>ui ikis defihiie! 
did hoi kave ike look we were afier. 

So +o make \\im qq away, X paid k^ ikree kutk$ 

+o -tell people ke DIDNT drihk our siuff. 


Noi io be m£A)r\ of j 


X realised we were sifll tonpeiihg /or beverage 
dollars wiik ike kid across ike sireei ahd ikai if 
we were ^ohha Make airy REAL noh ty, we heeded 
io move our operaiioh +0 a wkole hew Marked. 

Ahd I khew JuS't ike place; ike iowh park. 


BQ 















e t ; 3 

X figured there would be a TON of thirs 
Volunteers* So me and Rowley loaded up a wagon 
with as muck of our product as we could carry 
and Headed down the kill. 



cleanup Ojoino| on down there, 


Vfth th 



Halfway to the park, Rowley said he was dehydrated 
and needed a drink- X d'dn^t wanna stop; tut he 
looked like he was gonna pass out* So X let hi™ 
take a bottle and made a note to dock his pay 
later on. 



81 










































































VJhen we down +o -fhe park, <+ seemed like +he 
w We TOWN was -there. E-Veryohe was working 
really hard, and i+ was pretty hot out. 


As a BONUS, the water fountain was broken, 
which meant people didnt have any real options for 

So me and Rowley knew we 
were djonna make a KILLING selling our stuff. 


quenching their thirst. 



Unfortunately, Horn Spotted us right away and 
asked what we were up to. 


X told her we were gonna sell our fitness water to 
anyone who was willing to shell out a few tucks. 


82 











1 



Bui Mon said Hr was * iacky io profii off a buheh 
of Voluhieers who were saenfitih^ iheir Saturday 
+o deah op the park. I told her everybody 
who drahk our water would be able +o Volunteer 
TWICE as hard, arid the whole deahup would 30 
a lot quicker. 



Vlhrle rne ahd Mon were ar^u<h^ about this, the 
ladies who were workihg oh ihe flower bed totally 
raided our supplies. 


S3 












A h d before we could do ajy+Wmg about i+, +key 
k*d poured our whole imvem+ory of fi+mess water 

ed ?J 



im+o the ^rouhd like ii w as just Sor^e cf 


-S (Cb 22s 



tU a t^uick calculation and figured that was 
at least two hundred dollars in lost profits 
seeping into the ground, But those ladles just 
went right back to their planting like it was mo 
big deal* 


Still, it washt +oo U+e for me ahd Rowley +o 
turn this thing around. We gathered up +ke 
empty bottles ahd headed down +o the creek 
for a refill. 







Mom s+epped iin our way, She fold me arid Rowle 
she warded uS +o help the Voluh+cers wi+h +he 
deahup, ahd hahded u$ Some lawin +ocl$ +o -ge+ 

s+ar+ed* 


X explaihed -+ha+ we were BUSINESSMEN arid 
REAL businessmen doh+ work for free. Bu+ before 
X was evein done talking, Rowley was on his hands 
and knees pldh+in^ perennials. 



X knew X h^d "to ou+ of -there as quickly as 
possible or I D roped in, too. But Mom was 
one step ahead of me. 


She said when X was little she used to +ake me 
+o the park every day., and that those were her 
most special memones of the two of os. 




She +old r*e if we DIDN T cleah 't'Ke y ar r-', 
OTHER moms wouldn't l>e title +0 have 'the sane 
kinds of precious moments wi+h THEIR kids. 



See, Hon knows EXACTLY how io ^ei +0 me, 

A^d +ha+s -the reason I found myself raking leaves 
for FREE instead of making a truckload of mone^* 


The rake Horn ^ave me was a piece of junk, -though, 
hut when I asked for a new one, sh 

7 


a me as l- 

pile of leaves, and then a hunch of little kids came 
tearing -through it and undid all my hard work. 


Xt took me a half hour +0 scrape together 


was doing their hest wi-th what th 














PoVvt ask me why people Iroo^hi ihefr li-Hle kids 
+o -the park deahop, ketaose -they were fro Kelp 

ai ALL. fach, -|Ley were CONSTANTLY 

qe++j>iq itvta irouble. 


A+ ohe poiVit a tuFich of +Kem were playirv^ in a 
pile of fertiliser, and someone had +0 chase them 
out of there. 



n 




























wHole park cleahup effort was TOTALLY 

disor^aV’tiz.ed, Nobody was really iin chargej so it 

was jir$t complete CWAOS* 



Things 30+ eveh CRAZIER wKe^i a ius polled 

pinto the parkirwj lot aind a kuinch of teeha^ers iin 
orange 


jomp Sorts filed out- 



































Apparently these ^uys were kused in to serve 
their punishment for commi-ttih^ trines like 
shoplifting and Vdh<JdliSn. And if X had to fjuess, 
Xd say a few of them were directly res^orisikle 
for the graffiti on the playground equipment. 


IX 


fs were more interested 


e community service ^uy* 
in cjoofin^ off than pitching in. And Some 
of the stuff they were doiri^ was downright 

dangerous/ 



any 

worse f a kuhch of vans rolled into ike parking 
lot and an entire Girl Scout troop poured out of 
the Vehicles. 


But right when it seemed like it couldni get 













Vli+K<h ttn nihutes, they h<*<J or^nitej eVeryohe 
at the park cleanup ?rto separate teams, with a 
Girl Scout ih charge of each one* 

























































V\y +ean was responsible for raking leaves in ^e 
playground area, and +Ke ^irl ih charge of ny 
{jroup was a Browse* 



Xi was a lH 4 le enbarrassin^, bu+ -fo be hones+ 
Wf+K yoti t X was NAPPY +h& Grl Scours cane in 
and wHipped everybody in+o sHape. 

£very +fne Xve seen +he Grl Scouts ^et involved 
wi+H a project, Xve been IMPRESSED. 


A few nontbs a^p, the town wanted to build a 
eonnunity garden, but nobody could ^get their act 
together and the project filled out. 































B</t +he Ctrl $too+s swooned ih dhd Wli +W 

whole +h<Kg oh a S^hd^y df+erhooh* 




III fell you 
rt^e <h cW^e 0/ some+hihcj like “fh<vt> hoihih^ 
■good would come of ,+. ESPECIALLY if +Here 
were power -tools ihvo i v ed¬ 


it^' If you pu+ a ^roup of tovs mv 


% 








































tLvein dhey were a+ +he +owin park +o work, 

+he G'r! Stoids wereh’i ^ohha let ah opportunity 
+o do Some fundraising pass them by* "They set 
up a stand +0 sell cookies, and one of their first 
customers was MON. So X ^ues$ shed chafed 
bier mind about people sellihoj stuff +0 Volunteers, 



X was .glad the Girl Scoots were running the show, 
but they were working us HARD, After an hour of 
raking, X was worn 00+ and wanted +0 go hone. 
Bed it )kas clear they werent letting ANYONE 
go until the last leaf was bagged* 


Another person ih my group who seemed a little 
worm oid was my homework Buddy, Xrew, 


13 






OTHER people figured ou+ how smarY Frew is, 
Ahd a tn/hcK of cjrowh-t/^s sYarYed bucj^ih^ hlim 

for sYuff Ytayd usually cjeY from Yheir PMONES* 



' FREW' HAVE 
ANY CATS DONE 
ANYTHING 
AMUSING 
TODAY? , 


FREW! WHATS 
THE WEATHER 
i FORECAST 
[ FOR THIS 
WEEKEND? 


FREW! HOW'S 
THE STOCK 
MARKET 
TRENDING? 


I hoY ted Y^aY every half hour, Yhe Girl ScouYs 
ro+A+ed from ^roup Yo ^roo^>. So during a 
chaneyn^ of Yhe •Gjuard., X saw my op'porYuniYy 

and TOOK iY. 
















































X knew EXACTLY where X was headed, too* 
the creek. 




VJhen X was on the swim -team in first ^rade/ 
Pad used +o drop me off at the town pool every 
day. But the MINUTE Ke drove away, X’4 
run down to the creek and catch rvnnows until 


practice 


was over. 


always ma 

Pad came to pick me up , and Xd jump in at the 
last second so it looked Irke Xd teen swimming 
the whole time. 


ke sure X 301 tack to the pool before 




















Bo+ ohce, Pad cane EARLY +o wa^ch me prac^ce, 
ahd X ejuess X 30+ carried away ca^chih^ mlhhows. 


So X ehded up ^e++ih^ +o +^£ pool AFTER PdJ, 

ahd X tus+eX 



X^da^j X /^ured X d jus+ +ake a <^uick brea+Ker 

dowh ty +^e creek ahd ^e+ fcack -to work* 

IVt ihiHy seconds after X go+ "there, X heard 
Somebody trashy -through +he bushes* 


X+ +urv\s ou+ Frew u seeh me +ake off -from -the 
playgrouhd, ahd he FOLLOWED me. 


% 



























Frew sdfj he couldivt handle all +he ^es+erih^ Iron 
’the fljrowft-u^s a second loh^er, ftind wheh he saw 
me ieftVe he +hot^h+ X had ’the figh’t deleft* 





VJhiile we were falkir^, we hear 1 
coj^h^ our way, 
bu-t X was 'pre-Hy shocked -to see -thft"t rt was o^e 
ol+he compiuhj'Hy service ^uys. 


17 





















Xh -fact, X KNEW +K-s <yjy. H'S hame was Billy 
Ro+her, ahd he used haintj ou+ iY\ our i>asemev>+ 
wheft Rodricks tahd prac+iced* 



A rwm+h or so a^o, X heard Rod rick +elli^ ofte 
oh his -frtehds +h<*+ Billy cjo+ cau^h+ s+ealiK^ a pack 
0/ sour ^umny worns at the cohVehi’erice s+ore. 



X really washh happy 'this tjuy had hollowed ne 
+0 r*iy hidih^ spo+, X +old Billy he should ejo 
tack +0 +he park te-fore he «jo+ us ALL ih +routle. 


n 

























But Billy said he wus making a run /or it and 
was NEVER going back to community service. 




"Then Billy started blubbering about how when he 
was little h'S mom bought a ^atk o/ Sour gummy 
worms -for hi^ and his brother to share , but his 
brother wouldn't give h^ a Single worm and ate 
the whole sack. 


Billy said the only reason he stole from the 
convenience store was so he could finally have a 
^>atk 0/ sour gummy worms all +a HIMSELF. 







X was £jettir^ really uhc^mfortable listehir^ to 
this goy 30 ot\ ahd oh, ahd X was hopihcj Frew 
would help me talk Some Seh$e into him. 


But theh Fr ew smarted with a speech of his OWN. 


Frew started talkih^ about how his parents make 
him ^et up at 5 : 00 ih the morhih^ six days a week 
+0 study for the ojeo^raphy bee,, ahd how hes 
heVer ^otteh to play laser ta<^ because his parehts 
say its a waste of time. 



This was all tje+tihg +0 be a little much for me, ahd 
X deeded I’d rather be rakihg leaves thah listeWh^ 
to these ^uys tell their sob stories. 


100 













So X s+ar+ed Keadiir^ Hack +0 iHe ^lay^rouhd* 
Bt/+ dll of a Suddeh +Ha+ Brpwhie a^eared out of 

me off ^uard* 


howHere ahj TOTALLY cdu^Ki 



My Ihs+lhc+s kicked >h a^d I RAN, Frew mi 
Billy saw me +ake 0 
my Keels. 



Bo+ -tHe Brow hie was carrying a WHISTLE, ahd 
+Ke he*+ 4^ I khewj +He wHole Girl Scou+ 
-iroo^ was ih Ho+ ^ursui+. 


X S+ar+ed +0 ruh FASTER wHeh I realized 
me ahd Frew mi^H+ oje+ ih serious -trouble for 
Harborih^ a fu^iiive. 


101 













X didftt khOW if the Girl Scouts actually had 
the authority to ARREST avyohe, taut X washt 
cjohha stick arouhd to fihd out. 



TWEET 


jA4+v 




—o t ^ h spl 

Wl^^wlly<nHtfiUMti.^,WW„>Mi f*j( M* jJdw 


For ill X khewj that was sonethihg they heeded 
+o do +0 earn ohe of their badges. 


Ghee the chase was oh, Billy took the lead, ahd 
me ahd Trew just followed WIM. X+ was pretty 
obvious hed had experiehce with this kihd of thrhg, 
because he seeded to khow what he was doihg. 


102 










After d while we were able to ^ut some distdftce 
betweeh ourselves dhd the Girl Scouts, dhd we 
could barely hear -the whistle- So we stored for 
a mihute to catch our breath. 



Billy said we were <^ofthd freed our cherry to stay 
dhedd of the Girl Scouts. 


103 





















"iTieh \\t +ook ou+ d few rolls of "TWh TAiVvts +K*+ 
were +utked away ir> h‘s jumpsurt 1 ahd s^>l»Hh +he™ u^> 
te+weeh u$. 


Xm jus+ ^ohhd assume ^e PAID for +KoSe cookies, 
because ;{ Ke DIDN'T, X <W+ wai^ha khow. 



GOBBLE 

. n kj FY 


■ 


Af+^r we fueled oft cookies t Billy said we 
should dll di+c^ our CLOTHES, because if +Kc 
used DOGS +o -track u£, we could tbirow them 
off our trail. 





















Theh ft dawhed oh me if +h<s 30^ couldh^ 
^e+ aw Ay wi+h s+ealihg a ^aek of Sour ^umny 

worms, he was ^rotdbly +he LAST person I 
should he +akih^ -this tihd of advice fro m* 


X realized Xd made a HUGE mis+ake aftd started 
lookih^ for ft way out of the situation. So X told 
the 3uys we should S^lit u^>, Sftyih^ if we DID> 

we'd te harder to catch* 


But Xrew said we should stick TOGETHER* 


He said we could travel arouhd the country and 
h-aVe crazy adventures t fthd mayhe even join the 
circus somewhere aloh^ the way. 



105 







Billy seemed +0 like +ha+ idea; +00. Xhen +he iwo 
of +Kem s+ar+ed aro|uin<j over who sHou Id ^e+ +Ke 
money for -the movie ri^h+S +0 our s+ory if we ever 
became famous. 



X deeded ■+& use i^e opportunity +0 -fry and slip 
away, But when X turned +0 leave, a ^roup of 

Vans appeared 00+ of NOWHERE, 



Mom was in the lead van, and the Girl Scouts were 
in the verities right behind her. 


Xhere was a second there when X thought Frew 
might try +0 make a last-ditch attempt to escape. 



But af+er nil kis talk abou+ life oh +ke ruh, He 
+o+a 1 ly fell +o pieces. 



X +kou^k+ Mom would be really mad, bu+ ske 
seemed RELIEVED. Ske wah+ed +0 khow wkai X 
was ^kihkthcj,, ruhhihg away like +ka+. 


X figured Billy was cjoihg dowh ho ma-Her WMAT. 
Ahd +kere was ho use fh all TMREE of us ^e’ttihtj 
ih trouble. So X ’pi'hhcd +ke w kole +kih^ oh HIM. 



10 ? 






X < 3 uess X feel a little had. But to fee fair, s+eaL'htj 
the "Ihih Mihts was HIS idea. 


X doftt khow how much commuhity service they re 
t^ohha tack oh +o billy $ Sehtehce. but fey the time 

hes DONE, X ^lah +o fee attehdihg a college 

halfway across the toohtry* 




COMMUNITY 


ZOO M 


cm**, 


The craziest th«t\<j of all was the 

us ih +ke FIRST opiate. 


way Mom fouhd 


VJheh she ^ot that GPS chip for the PIG, she 

^ot ohe for ME, -too* So Ive feeeh walkih^ aroohj 

attached +0 my s 
for ■the past two mo inths without eveh jchowih^ it. 



with ohe of those thirds 



















wKeft X disappeared Iron +he park; Mom 
used \\tr PHONE +o fr^ure oui where X was. 



ih afcou+ Mom fceilrvj 
overpro+et+ive; -though* Because jX she ha<W+ tome 
+o my rescue 
arcus wrth Frew ahd Bill 


X mi^h+Ve ehded up ih a +raVeL'h-0 



Bui S+illj so much (or Mom 30^ elec+rohicS‘<free, 


iCfl 










OCTOBER 


Eci-Jay. 

If Pad was oh my case BEFORE, heS a huhdred 
-times worse NOW. 


Af+er +he +owh park ihtideh+ las+ weekehd, r+s 
pre++y obvious he -th'hks X cah+ be trusted- 
Arid wheheVer hes hone, he likes to have me ahd 
Grahdpa ih the same room so he cah keep ah eye 

oh BOTH ofus*-— 


X Wish X hever khew about the webcam, though , 
because its ^ot me really parahoid- iXere could 
actually be NULTlPLE cameras ih the house. 



XA pre+ty Sure theres ohe ih Mahhys stuffed 
duck, because i+S eyes Seem to follow me. 


110 






























If here's NOT a camera rh there, theh Xve 




Luckily Mom took Pad +o the airport to ejo 
oh a busihess trip +his morhihg, ahd I khow he 
caht monitor me the whole time hes aw ay. Still, 
IVe beeh extra careful hot to screw up, just ih 
es ^ot ohe of 
hard drive somewhere. 



those webcams record^ to a 


This morhih^ wheh X was brushih^ my teeth, X 
made sure to put the toothpaste cap back oh the 
tube the way Pad always tells me. 

But my fibers were slippery, amd X dropped the 
cap ih the sihk. 


111 


















X+ hoohted aroohd a few +j'meSj +heh 1+ weh+ 
ri<jh+ dowh -the draih. 



X k^ew +Kt*+ *+K^ Second pad home -from 

his +rip he'd 30 +o +he ups+airs ba+hroom +o make 
sore the cap was oh the +oo+hpas+e, So X had 

^e+ p+ BACK, 


Xhe firs+ +h'h^ X Ad was +ry ahd fish +he tap 

00+ of -+he draih wi+h a co++oh swafc, Bo+ all X 
mdh^ed +o poll op was a bohth of hair ahd 


oTher ^oh£. 




K ^ 

•y i 







a L 


|lI 3 r 

IJi- | • ■ 

fa _ 

1 ■ 1 



m 















































A^d now that X know whats in peoples sinks, X 
guarantee you X I! never be a plumber. 


X -figured X probably pushed the toothpaste cap 
even farther a own the drain with that cotton 
swab, so X opehed the cabinet under the sink to 
see if X could figure out w here it ended up. 



X knew pad had a bunch of do-it-yourself books 
on plumbing in -the basement, and X 
-there d be some step-by-step instructions -to show 
exactly how to fix this sort of thih^. 



X couldn't Make heads or tails of the diagrams 
in the book, So X took my best shot at it. 
Xhere was a plastic tube underneath the sink, 
and X figured the toothpaste cap must be 
somewhere insrde. 


113 


























So X loosefted -the fto+ that held +he to the 
metal pipe, aftd the tulse came out pretty easily. 


X guess X was supposed to tufft off d Valve or 
somethiftg, though, tecduse the ftext thihg 1 
knew, water was sprayihg out all over the place. 



X+ took me a miftute to figure out how to shut 
off the Vdlve, aftd by the time X did; there was d 
puddle oft the floor. 

















































X soaked up as muck waier as X could wi +k ike 
iowels ikai were ih ike baikroom. Xkeh X rah 
dowh ike sia/rs io ^ei Some more oui of ike 
lauhdry room. 

Bui wkeh X o^>i dowh io ike kiitkeh, X realised 
I kad a BIGGER prof)! em. 

--^P- 


1 ? 


II ! 

— 11 . 



* 


i—-— “ 

nO SW 


d » \ a \ 

I\V r> i»rv** i 


- ■ r ■■_ 


& 




^ C- — 






X +otd Grahd^a wkere ike waier was comih^ 
from, bui ke didhi seem ioo cohcerhed. H € said 
ike ohly REAL damage would ke a waier siaih oh 
ike kiickeh ceilphej. 


Xm ^lad Grahdpa ikoutjki <+ was ho biej deal, 
bui Xm sure Pad would see ike siiuaiioh 

DIFFERENTLY. 


115 






























legged 

ahd Ke -+o 1 di me would. Grandpa said there s a 
Special kind 0/ paint that covers up water stains, 
and he'd take me +0 the hardware store +0 djet it. 

Xhat sounded GREAT. H e .^rafefeed Pad s keys 
and we got i n the tar. But when we tacked out of 
the driveway, Grandpa dipped a trash can. 


Grandpa to help me out of this mesSj 




X wasnt too concerned; tut when we hit a 
neighbors MAILBOX, X started to get worried* 

X realized X couldn't remember the last time X was 
in a car with Grandpa at the wheel. And all of a 
sudden it hit me* Last year, Grandpa failed his 
drivers test, so they took away his LICENSE, 


116 






















He hash+ been allowed +o drive since. 


X was really nervous, $o X +c?lct Grandpa maybe 
we should qo back home. BuHr now -+h«+ he was on 
ihe open road, +here was no +urnihg back. 

* 



By +he +ime we ^o+ ou+ o-f our nei^hborhoo <Ue 
seemed +o be ^e^+in^ +he han^ 0/ J+. Bu+ X was 
s+ill pre+iy worked when we 30+ on -the ramp for 
+he highway. 


Luckily, +here weren+ a lo+ of people driving a+ 
+ha+ +ime of day, and +he hardware s+ore was 
only a few miles away. 


117 


















IV weird +kihg j rtlI of +he sicjms a!oh^ The 
side of +he road were facih^ Hrhe wrohtj way, whiclh 
was reall 

VJheft X saw +wo cars coniri^ "foward us, X 
realized -+h<*+ somehow Grarid^a had +atefi 

+he EXIT ram^ ihs+ead of +he ENTRANCE 
rar*ipj ahd we were headed ih +he WRONG 
DIRECTION, 
















Grandpa slammed oh +he trajces, ahd +he 
car did a 130 before comihg +o a s+op ih ■ihe 
breakdown lane* X+S a MIRACLE we didn't 
ge+ hrt> and our near-dea+h experience really 



Suddenly a wa+er $+ain oh +he ki+chen ceiling 
didn't seem like Such a big deal anymore* He and 
Grandpa agreed we should jus+ go tack home and 
call r + a day. 


A+ teas - !' NOW we were headed in +he righ+ 
direc+ion* But - when Grandpa pu-t -the car i'n drive, 
i+ rolled a kew kee+, +heh conked ou+. 




























A+ firs+ X +HoagH+ some+Hihcj nos+Ve Kdpp£lr\eci 
io +He car wHeh Grahdpa slamned oh iHe brakes t 
bu-f wHeh X locked a+ +He dasHboard/ X realized 
we were ou+ of GAS. 



Rod rick used -+He car last hrejH"! wHeh He weh+ +o 
work, ahd of COURSE He didht re/oel rh 


Grahdpa saw a sigh aHead +Ha+ said +Here was a 
service s+a+ioh a mile op +He road/ ahd He +old me 
He was ejohha walk +Here ahd brihg back a can of 
^as so we could eje+ Hone. 


X wah-ted +o djo WITH Hir^ bo+ He Said X 
sHoold siay ih iHe tar $o i+ drdhf ^e+ -towed by 
+He Hi^Hvay depar+merrh X didh+ feel ^greai 
abou+ +He wHole idea/ but X fgured i+ was -+He 
ohly cHoice X Had* 


120 



Grahdpa headed off oh foot, ahd X waited -for 
what mustVe beeh ah HOUR. X was startihcj to 
^et a little worried, ahd theh X looked up at the 
rearview mirror ahd saw somethlh<j ih the dlstahce. 


A ^roup of people were walkihg toward the ear 
atoh^ the side of the road. At first X was 
exci+ed, because X +bou^h+ 1‘ncy «gL+ be able ■to 
HELP. But wheh X saw their orah^e jumpsuits, 

X FROZE* ___1_ 


Xt was the commuhity service cjahej, ahd they 
were comfh^ my way. 



Vlheh they ^ot closer, X saw that ohe of them 

was that ^uy BILLY. X thought about mak ih^ 

a roh for it, but X didht waht to take my 
chahces out ih the opeh. 


Ul 





X u +u ohly other thiftcj X could thirdc of, 
which was to lock the doors arid HIDE. Xhere 

hiding places ih a CAR, 

though, So the test I could do was ejet dowh 
underneath the dashboard arid stay really still. 


aren’t a whole lot of ^ood 



Xheh X held ry breath and prayed. Xt took 
FOREVER for those guys to get to the car, 
and when they finally DID, they decided it was a 
good place to take their lunch break. 



122 




























£,Veh+ua!ly ihe comrnuni+y service crew finished 
ea+ihg and moved on. Bert +hey lef+ a huge mess, 
which jirs+ goes +o show, ihey werenl lakin^ 
i\\e.t r highway cleanup do+ies loo seriously. 



Once X was sure +hey were gone, 1 gol lack up. 
Bui BOTM of my legs had fallen asleep from le»hg 
In such an awkward position for lhal long, so X 
gralted ihe Randle on ihe cenler console lo pull 



Bui ihe Randle MOVED t and when il <u j so i.i 

+ta CAR._ 


123 































X had acodem+aiy shT+ed +he car ih+o 
NEUTRAL; amid p+ s+ar+ed +o roll FORWARD. 



The car was picEh^ s^eed, so X s+£f>^ed oh 
+he brake, Bert f+ locked o^>, ahd the car just 
kept ejorh^, I was afraid I was ejohha roll out 
»m+o traf/sc ahd ^et hit. 

Xheh X saw GRANDPA walkih^ toward ™e Im the 
treakdowh lame, ahd X PANICKED. 
























X jerked +He s+eerih^ wkeel left ahd jus+ 

BARELY massed Grandpa. XHe problem was, +He 
tar rolled n'^H't rh+o a DITCW. A*>d ^HaVs wHere 
j+ s+ayed uh+il Horn tame +wo Hours la+er wi +Kc 
iowih-^ tom^ary. 



*•* * 




\lU 1J. 


Xf X Had "to do i+ all over a^aiin^ X would ve jusi 

left +Ha+ +oo+hpaS+e tap ih +He d^a^* 


Monday 

X BEGGED Mom hoHr +o +el1 Pad wHai - Happened 
+o +H« tar wHeh He ^o+ Home. 









Bu+ sHe said since +He fender was all tanked u^j 

He'd f.nd oui ANYWAY. 



X realized my only o^+ion was ^'o ^e+ ou+ of town. 

And X +Hou 3 H+ of +He PERFECT way +o do Hr. 


THe class irip +o Hardscrabble Farms siarts -today 
and cjoes for a wHole WEEK. X figure by +He 
+ime X ^e+ BACK, Pad will Have cooled down.; a+ 

leas* a IHH-Ie, 


So X "told Mom I cHan^ed my mind abooi +He 
iri^i and sHe was all exerted- 


SHe called +He scHool +o make sure X could S+ill 
^Oj and luckily +Here were a Handful of spaces 
*n +He cabins. 



126 



















X weh+ -through my book bag ahd -fouhd the 
packih^ lis+ they seht home las+ mohih to check 

what X deeded +o bring* 


H ardscrabblc Farms 
Supply List 



Bug spray 
I liking boots 
Raincoat 
Canteen 
Day pack 


Jeans 
Plastic bag 
Sunscreen 
Toiletries 
Wool socks 


NO electronic devices 
NO junk food 


It- was -too late to ^o out ahd shop -for all that 
stu-f-f. Luckily Mon ’fouhd Rodricks dtrf-fel ba^ ih 
the ^ara^e, which he had hever unpacked from 
wheh WE weht ot\ the trip a -few years a^o- 

Xvvside were some hikilrug bootsj a raincoat; a 
calmteehj bucj spray , ahd a buvxh of other thirds 
oh the lis+j which was ^reai. 


127 
























Bo+ +he REEKED because +Here was a half- 
ea+en h*m sahdwich in -there, which Had some+hin^ 

^r^iw.Vs^ rtj.f of l-f. 


X was a Ip'H'le worried abocd -the -food si+ua+ioh 
a+ camp, and X was +emp-ted +o -fry and sneak 
a few candy tars in. Bu+ X washi sore wha+ -the 
penally was if you 30+ CAUGHT, so X decided +0 
Jus+ Hide +Kem in my sock drawer so nobody would 
ea+ +K em while X was ^one. 


X wasn^ willing +0 +ake any risks when i+ came +0 
my COMFORT, ihouejh. 


X s+uffed +hree whole con+ainers of Freshes in+o 
Fodric ks u 3 , even -though +ha+ meani X couldn't 
fi+ -+Re ra P ncoa+, 





















X buried ihe TresWes *+ ihe bof+on of +he bd^ 
betduse X didh+ want Mon -h> know X wds +dkihg 

ilhen, Mon says baby wipes are +00 expensive /or 

ar basis and they re 


everyone +0 use oh a re^ul 
reserved for [MANNY. 


See ; -+Kis is main reason X want +0 be rich 
when X'n otder. Vsl^eh X Have d +oh of nohey, X 
tan buy dS nahy baby wipes as X WANT. 




















































Bv+ yh+jl X Kave mohey o-f ry owy \, X H Kave +o 

keep raiding MahhyV Supply. 



VJKeh X was jus^ abou+ ready 4o leave -for +Ke 
+np, Grandpa gave me a boo k Ke said migK+ come 



Grandma sard ^Kc book beloved +o Kim as a 
ahd Ke gave i+ +o Pad w Kein ME was my age 

Ke wah+etj I^IE +o Kave rh 



130 














































X+ looked a li++le ou+da+ed +o me, tu+ X didnd 1 
want +o Hurt Grandpas -feelihcjs. So X fold Inin Vi 
"take if wifh me and read if fhe firsf thante X ^of* 



iWe was JUST ehoocjH roon fo fif if in ry 
fcacj, and X /inured +W more sfoff piled oh fop 0/ 
fhe Trestasj fhe feefter. 


VJ^tn Mom dropped me off af scKool +Kis morning, 
fhougH> X realized X was SERIOUSLY unprepared 
■for +His f rip„ 

131 


















Everybody else tad a TON 0/ -gear, and X /el+ 
like X tad uhderpacked* 



A'f+er dll our s+u// was loaded oh+o +ta buSj +ta 
bags 'took up af leas+ tall +ta space. 


Tta+ r'leavvt we tad +o double up on sea+s, wkith 
nade +ke fide +o Hardscrabble Tarns /eel a LOT 
longer -than rt stauldve. 



132 
























Vjfien we fihilly -there Ahd drove +hrou<^h 
the nirh ehtrahccj X was pretty relieved. Bu+ 
the last stretch was BRUTAL because it was a 
dirt road* 



Vlheh we ^ot off the bus, a ^rou^> 0/ kids 
fron Ahother school was just leAVrhg. Ahd they 
looked like -they touldht be getting out of there 
sooh enough- 



133 




















































A kid in the back was holding a handwritten si^n 
that didn't make any sense 'to me* 



A couple of my classmates seeded pretty freaked 
out when they saw It. A toy standing next to 
fie said his older brother went to Hardscrabble 
Farms a few years back and told him all about 
Silas Scratch- 


Apparently this Silas Scratch ^uy was a farmer 
who lived at Hardscrabble Farms a long time ago,, 
but then the county came in and kicked him off 
his land. 


Bt 






























Ario+her kid th^ed ih ahd sard ME. heard SjIas 

Sera'kh wein.+ +o live i^ the /ores+j where he 
Survived by ea+ihg slugs ahd terries* IXeh Melihda 

Hehsori said she he<W he weM 1 CRAZY arid ^rew 
his fiv^emads really long. 


Setj X could Ve done wHrhou+ +he ^parf about the 
lontj 

qiVtS r*t the willies. 


fingernails, because that sort of thin^ really 


135 











One of our chaperones, Hr. Healey said that 
when HIS class went to Hardscrabble Farms, a kid 
named Frankie came across Silas Scratch^ shack in 
the woods. And after Frankie saw it, be was never 
the same. 



Anyone who hadFt beard of Silas Scratch 
BEFORE knew about Kim NOW,, because the 
story spread like wildfire. 



X found the whole Silas Scratch thin^ disturbing. 


136 










X GUARANTEE yov, if dlryohe +oid ne +fere 

e tjrouhds of 
Hardscrabble Farn$j I would’ve ju$+ stayed home 
ahd +akeh ry chances wr+f DAD, 

After we were dohe uhloadiir-g tfe bus, we 

W^itf WdS d jjidftt log tdbih With d buV\tf of 

tables inside* 


brought our stuff dowh to the mdift lod 


was a derated -farmer prowliv^ tf 


"The persoh M charge was Mrs, Graz-iaho, ahd oftte 
everyone sat dowh, she 
carnp rules. "There were a BUNCW of thern, but 
the ofte she said was most important was that boys 
ahd twirls areht allowed to Visit each others cabins 
for ahy reasoh. 


^ave a speech about the 



13? 




Mrs. Graz-iano said +his was Her hihe+eeft+h ^ear 
comiVvg +o Hardscrabble Farms, ahd she wasvf+ 
^or^a pu+ up wi+h avy hoftSeftSe from anybody* 
"Theft she had +he thaperohes 00 +hrou0h 
eVeyoftes ba^s +o make sore ftobody was +yiv\0 
+o sfteak fh avy joftk food or elec+roftics. 



A few kids ^0+ bus+ed wi+h s+wff ift +heir ba^s. 
Mike Barrows had a pouftd of Swedish Fsh ift his 
backpack; aftd Puafte H^'^s 00+ cau^hi +ryift0 
+o smuggle ift a 0iaft+ chocola+e-chip cookie. 



133 













X was redly <^lad Td left those cardy ibars hack 
hone, hut X was a little worried the chaperores 
might corfscate my 1jaby wipes. Grte Hr* Jores 
taught a w Wf of my tag, though, he didrt go 
diggirg ary further. 




After that we had lurch; which was hot dogs, 
laked tears, ard stuffed peters. There werert 
ary other choices, so if you X'Jr+ like ary of 
those thirgs, you were out of luck. 



VJher lurch was over, the chaperores told us to 
scrape our leftovers ihto a g P art pot. 


















X hadht touched ny stuffed pepper^ so X dumped 
the whole thiruj. 



X asked Hr. Healey why we f>ut our leftovers 
•into a ^>ot ihstead of trie trash cah* He said at 
Hardscrabble Tarns ho food ^oes to waste, ahd 
everything we didn't eat for THIS neal is put 
iirvto a stew for -the NEXT ohe. 



He said it was the sane way wheft he cone +0 -this 
canp os 0 kid, ahd they still used the e*aci sane 
pot. That* near* -there could fee leftovers fron 

thirty YEARS aejo ih that thihg. 


After luhch Hrs. Graz^aho ahd the fenale 
chaperohes took the girls to the other side of 
camp to go to their cabrhs. 

Ho 







Mor*! had ac+udlly waVv+ed +o Voluh+eer as a 
cha^eroirje las+-r*iihLi+e, she. wasft+ comfo r+at>le 
Manny wi 

kind of s+inks, +fiooon t tecaose Stie couldve fed 
inside inforna+ion fron +he o.iris side of can^. 



if Rodrick and Grandpa. "Tka'L 



THANKS 

MOM? 


f <OU DON'T STAND A 
[ CHANCE WITH LAUREN, 
l BUT CHLOE THINKS YOU 
\ HAVE A CUTE BUTT? 


Y 

U I 

i ‘ 

I ^ 

Lr^ si \ 




Us guys s+a 

cdtiVt asstghmerv+s* MoS+ of +h^ groups were kids who 
oi/+ -together at school* tot each catih seerved 

+o have ONE k^d who didht belong. 



yed tack it\ the cafeteria to get our 


















The school must h«*Ve decided to spread the 
troub I emakcrs out so there wouldrit be more 
than one in a by cabin. 


The only ^roup that had MORE than one 
troublemaker was Mr. hluz-zA o,roup. But Mr. 
Nu2.z.i works as a prison ^uardj so T ^uess the 
figured he could handle it* 



Since X registered late, X ^ot put wl +K +he 

^roup of LEFTOVERS, wf.iT irw'vdea Towle 













X was ^Ud X 30+ assigned io ike same cafcih as 
Rowley, feui X wasni k^ppy kis FATHER was ike 
tkaperone. Mr. Jefferson kas never really fceen a 
fci^ fa^ of mine, and X wasni looking forward io 
feeing cooked up wiik kim for rt w hole WEEK. 

X+ was pre-Hv dear whoever had our cabin last 
Jidnt bother cleaning up after themselves. 



n- 




.X X*-. 



B=& 


* - ** 


One kid in my <yoop, Julian Trimtle, seemed +0 fee 
iakin^ ike siiuaiion preiiy kard, feecause kis lip 
siaried io quiver as soon as we walked in ike door. 


X was kind of surprised Julian decided io come 
on ikis irip, feecause Xni cjuessih-0 kes never feeen 
away from kis parenis overni^ki 
feefore. 


















































Jolidih 
every 

Once, in second ^rade, lie had Such a strong ^rip 
on his mom that the Vice principal h*d to come 
down +o ipee .1 them a^art. 


was always the kid who made a fci^ scene 
morning during dro^-o-ff time at schooL 



X /inured Julian decided to 30 ovi this tri^> on his 
OWN, tot when X remembered the scene at the 
school this morning, X started +o wonder i-f his 

mom actually tricked him into it. 

























































































Everybody started picking out their bunks, and 
thats when X found out why everyone had such 
b^g ba^s. 



f LUFF 


X had just assumed the bedding would be taken 
care of, tut 1 ^uess that was too much to hope 
/or at a plate like this* 


Xhe closest thirty X had to a pillow was r>y hoodie, 
which already Smelled like Rodricks ham sandwich* 

any 

weird stains on it. I picked a top tunk because 
X couldnt risk being underneath Julian in case he 
wet the ted* 


Xt was hard finding a mattress without 































Un-for+uha+elyj Mr. Jefferson slid fn+o +he spo+ 
rujh+ UNDERNEATH me, so now Rowleys dad 

was my bunkma+e. 


A-f+er we finished unpacking our s+uff, we wen+ 
down +0 +he ae+ivi+ies area +o do some Team¬ 
building exercises. 


The firsi -thing we did was a Trus-t fall," where 
one opy would -fall backward and everyone else was 
Supposed +o ta TcK h im. T guess ■the ^oin+ was +o 
show how our 'teamma-tes have our backs. 


But Jordan Lahkey d«d his -fall while the res+ oh 
us were still working ou+ where +o stand. 


1 % 









































Hr. Jeffersoh showed os how -form +w o lihes 
facrhg each other ahd +heh make a r het hy 


^rafcbrh^ each other's wrists. So wheh Jeffrey 
Swahsoh <jot up oh the platform we thought we 
were ready for hi™* 



1^7 























Bo+ Jeffrey is a kicj fcoyj ahd Us weidjk+ made 
Rowley ahd Gare+k Grimes collapse ahd smask 
ih+o eatk o+ker* 



Gare+k was missihg ohe of Us /roh+ teeikj ahd 
everyone <jo+ dowh oh ‘tkeir kahds ahd khees +o 
look -for i+, 'Tkeh £milio Mehdoz-a found +ke +oo+k 

in Rowleys FOREHEAD. 



Hr. Je-fkersoh +old £- milro +o roh down and (je+ 
ike horse , wko kroutjk't' Gare+k a dam^ waskclo+k 
+o s+o^> +ke t>leedrh<j. 





But she couldht pull the tooth out of Rowleys 
foreheadj because it was really lodged ih there. 



Mr* Jeffersph called his wife to come ’pick. Rowley 
up ahd take \\'m to ^et it checked out. X doht 
khow if she ehded up ^oihg to a doctor or a 
dentist, because X have ho idea what you eveh do 
for that sort of thihcp 


So Hr* Jeffersoh was stuck chaperoning a bunch 
of kids who wereht HIS. \\t had us do all these 
exercises that were supposed to teach us how to 
work together as a tea/n, but all they really did 
was show uS how BAD we were at it. 


Vie did ohe activity called the bucket brigade," 
where we had to nake a relay line to brihcj water 
fror*! the river all the way to our cabih. 






wa 

ty 'frr've we ejo+ ■+o +he cabih, was almost 

ho+Hih^ left +0 pu+ rh +he me+al tub we were 
supposed +o /ill. 



Bo+ we spilled So much water aloh^ 



Vie realized if we were ever ^ohha fihish the 
activity, we heeded to fihd a better way ‘to fi 
the tub, So we wrohcj out our sweaty clothes 


150 
































































After we did dh At+iVrty where we \v*i te +ie 
our wris+s -fo^e+her wrth scarves ahj op -through av> 
obs+atle course made of ro^>es« fru+ wheft r+ came te 
physical dt+iVj+jes, our ^roup was pre+ty hopeless. 



151 






















































A^+er the ropes course, we couldh+ oh+ie +He 
scarves because wed kho++ed -then too +i<jh+. A^d 

THAT washd ^oodj because Xr'io+hy A^e$ heeded 
+o use +Ke ba+hroor* ih +kie tabth. 



By +He ehd of f\\t day everyohe was -totally worh 
out, ahd I was really .glad wkeh Hr, Jeffersoh 
told us r+ was -time -Tor d^er. 


Xke meal was c^ickeh patties, corh oh the cob, 
and stew, X passed oh the stew, and X was 
really ^lad X d-d wheh X saw Jordah pull ah 
ehtire -taco shell out of his bowl. VJho KNOWS 
what year that thtvg was ■from. 



L5z 











































After dihher we went tack to the catiVw Mr. 
Jeffersoh said that sihte we K«sui teeh ih the 
woods, we beeped to check ohe another -for 'ticks, 
Fach person was responsible -for his Wdcroate, 

which rneaht X had Mr. Jefferson. 


But Mr. Jeffersoh s ^ot a lot of hair, ahd I 
washt 0,0 poking through it. For all I 

knew, there could fee a whole COLONY of ticks 
liViivj ih there. 



C-Verybodys always sayrhcj how cjreat the outdoors 
are,, tut there's all SORTS of creepy-crawires you 
heed to worry about. 


153 

















































X used to play fh the woods all the TIME, Lrirvtil 
X swallowed a live spider. 



But in a place like Hardscrabble Tarns, there are 
just as many bogs INSIDE as OUTSIDE. Some 
sort o-f beetle borrowed into a kid s ear at di^rer, 
and he had to 30 to the horses station to have 
it removed. 


/ DUDE, I THINK 
/ SOMETHING 
JUST CRAWLED 
V IN YOUR EAR, 



WmAAaAT?^) 


154 
























Jordah fouhd a tick oh the back of Juliahs heck^ 
ahe 1 everybody freaked out about it. But Hr. 
Jeffersoh said Juliah would be fihe, ahd be took 
bin dowh +o the horse. 


Xhe secohd Hr. Jefferson ahd Juliah left, 
rest of the guys ih 


ny cdibih weht total l 


7 


7 


the 

NUTS. 


X stayed out of everybody 5 way because X drdyft 
wahha fee the fifth ^ersoh fron ny ejroup to ^et 
seeh by the horse oh the first day. 



By the tine Hr. Jeffersoh 
was a wreck ahd everyohe was FILTWY. 


aot back, the cabih 


155 































Xm ^uessih^ notody has ever cleaned the -floors in 
this pi ace, because wheh the cjuys were done rolling 
around, they were covered in dirt and hair. 



As a punishment -for trashing the catin, Mir. 
Jefferson made us ^o to ted EARLY, And he 
lumped me in with everyone else eVeh though X 
didrft DO anything. And th*+s how we ended 
up going to ted while it was still light out on 
the -first night. 


3ksd*y 

Mr. Jefferson woke everybody up at the crack 
o-f dawn and said we all needed to take showers 
before Weak-fast. 


156 



























'Tha+s when i+ occurred +o ne +^+ ihere wasn+ 
Actually a shower ih our ha+hroon, 'The shower was 
on +Ke OUTSIDE of tdhin, and +he water 
was in +he roe+al tub we filled in the hut Jcet 

7 * 

I seeded to he ■the only one who remembered what 
was IN that tub, because everyone else 30+ in line 
+0 take their turn. 


brigade yesterd 


Vdot only was 
apparentlyit 


the water UNSANITARY, but 
was COLD, + 00 . 



157 


















































































I PREPARED, +hoo0jh* X defihi+ely 

wash+ ^ohha fce +akih<j ahy ou+door showers oh 

+his "top, hu+ X could s+ill kee^> nyself CLEAN, 


Break-fas+ washi a whole lo+ better thah oof first 
two memlsj fcut at least they werevVt serVih<j the 

STEW, 'th^ ^ahtakes were hard as ROCKS, 

though* ahd theyd break your teeth if you tried 
to bite through ohe. 



£-nrlio shuck a ’pahcake ihto his pocket so he could 
nail it hone to his ™?n ahd show her how bad the 
■food was at tanp. 






































Af+er we cleaned op ^rom fcreak/ast, Mrs. Graziano 
told os the plan for the day. 


She said we were ^ohna do the Sane types q{ 
chores dofie hy kids ^rowincj op on /arms like this 
a lohoj time a<jo. 


Mrs, Graziano said that in the old days, kids 
worked fro™ the time they ^ot op fa the morning 
ohtil the son went down, And they had +0 start 
working as soon as they were old chough +0 help 
their /allies out. 



VJhich 'S Jost ANOTHER reason Xm glad X 

wasnt alive back then. 


15^ 












My s+ar+ed off in "the bam , and oi>r Jot 

was -+o noVe tales of hay -from one end of ita 

building +0 ■the oYher. X+ was SERIOUSLY 

hard, and X have a lo+ of res^>et+ for kids who 
had +o do +ha+ kind of work every day* 




V\!hen we were FINISHED, everybody fel+ a h^e 
sense of acconpli'sKr^en+. 














































































Afi we were leaving to move ov> to the hext station, 
Mr* hloxx/s ^rov^ tame ihto the fcarh* He told his 
team their jofc was to move the hay fc^ies to the 
other j which was where they were to BEGIN 
with. So doht eveh ask me why we weht to all 
that trouble. 



See, you shouldWt DO that ki^d of stuff to a 
kid. VJheh X was ir\ first ^rade, my teacher told 
me she was seindihg me oin a "secret missioh/ ahd 
she ^ave me a v>ote to deliver to another teacher 
dowh the hall. 



161 





































A^d every day after that; my teacher hahded me 
ANOTHER hote +o delrVer. 

Well, or\e day X got eorious about what was IN 
those hotes, and X o^>ehed ofte u^?. But it was 

Blank inside. 

f 



It turins out Mom bad told my teacher she was 
worried about my selTesteem, aind the whole 
secret-mission thihg was just a way to make me 
fed IMPORTANT, So if ahyofte wants to know 
why X have a hard time taking work seriously, 
that's how it started. 


Our team 5f>eht the rest of the morning goihg 

er stations. We pai 
repaired a stone wall, and stacked firewood outside 
the main lodge. 


through "the oth 


Med a fence, 


162 





X II +ell you, wheh I n older X PI ^ohha toy 4 
farpi of piy OWN ahd se+ up a capip oh +fe 
proper+y. because ^et+ih^ a fcuhth of kids +o work 
■for -free ahd callih<^ j+ eduta+ioh is GENIUS. 


/\f+er luhth, wheh we were headihtj tack +o our 
caiih, Gareth -tripped over a rock s+ickihg out of 
■the ^rouhd* 


Vlheh E-nilio saw r+j he 30+ really upset. 


Xhe rock had sone scrapes oh rt, ahd E-rnilio said 
the ohly persoh who could ve dohe THAT was 
Silas Scratch. 



163 

































Jeffrey said +he rack was ■prefcatly Silas Scrafcks 

GRAVESTONE, ahd how we. were CURSED 


because we had disturbed tas re$+ih^ ^laee. 



X +r*ed +o +alk some sehse ih+o -these cjuys, X said 
+haT £rs+ o-f all, \-f Sri as Scratch was DEAD, 

+K^+ was ^ood hews -for everyohe. Ahd secohd o-f 
all, this COULDN'T be Silas Scratch s ^ravestohe 
because he would ve W +o bury HIMSELF. 



X heVer should've said that, because it Just 
u^set eVeryohe eveh NORE. V^ow all o-f a suddeh 
Silas Scratch was ah UNDEAD farner wko 
CO u Idht be killed* 


16H 






At dihher, Silas Scratch^ ^rave was all avybod 
coo Id talk aboot. 


Somebody claimed they saw Silas Scratch ih the 
woods, A^d someohe ELSE said they saw fiin o'ry 
the other side of cam^> at the exact same time. 



"Theh Albert Sahdy was tellih^ eVeryohe that 
HE heard Silas Scratch had a hetwork of tuv^mels 
be heath the cabins, and that's how hes able to 
move aroohd so quickly. 


165 

















So thabks +o Albert Sahdy, how kids are too 
scared to ust the bathrooms at camp. 



A few kids said theyre just cjobha WOLD it uhtil 
they cje+ home. That doesht soubd smart to ME, 
especially cohsiderib^ were ohly ob day TWO. 


VJedhesd ay 

Tod ay , after we finished our farm chores, we had 
free time to do whatever we wabted. X decided 
Xd jvst take a hap, but a few of my cabibmates 
had other p!ah$. 


Gareth , Jeffrey, abd Jordan said they were sick 
of eating STEW for dibber, so they were ejohha 
30 dowb to the river abd catch a FISW, 


166 

























X +hou<jh+ +W was +he s+upi<Jes+ rdei* Xd ever 
heard, ESPECIALLY sihte +hy didin+ have a 
£shiridj pole or aryihihg like +ha+. 


Bi/t -they were dead serious, alnd when +hey 
beaded oirf, X weVvt +o +he caE’h and drnfced vp 
pin ny huhk, 

X+ +ook me a while +o fall asleep and r '3h+ 
when X s+ar+ed +0 d^z-e off, ry cab'hma+es burs+ 

-through -+he door. 



167 












































believe i+ or hoi, ikose -fools kad aciuaiy mhaejed 
io caick a fisk. Tkey scooped ohe ri<jki ooi 0/ 
ike river osihtj Jeffreys skiri as a NET. 


Arid now ikai ikey kad ii, ikey didn^i know 
wkai +0 DO wH'k j+. Vfkai was preiiy clear was 
ikai no ohe kad ahy inieniion of EATING ii. 



I iold ike 
some waier 


f ikey didni pui ike fisk 

1 f i ipi 1 ; T i i 


ih 


ly iis fail a 
ii +0 ike baikroam, wkere ke ^>ui ii ih ike 
TOILET. Tkeh Jorjah empiied kis carieeh inside 
ike bowl so ike -fisk kad some exira waier +0 flo^ 
around in. 


hd carried 


Gareik grabbed ike fisk 


163 









































believe i+ or hoi, ikose -fools kad aciuaiy mhaejed 
io caick a fisk. Tkey scooped ohe ri<jki ooi 0/ 
ike river osihtj Jeffreys skiri as a NET. 


Arid now ikai ikey kad ii, ikey didn^i know 
wkai +0 DO wH'k j+. Vfkai was preiiy clear was 
ikai no ohe kad ahy inieniion of EATING ii. 



I iold ike 
some waier 


f ikey didni pui ike £$k 

I f I Ipi I /yl i 


ih 


ly iis fail a 
ii +0 ike baikroam, wkere ke ^>ui ii ih ike 
TOILET. Tkeh Jorjah empiied kis cahieeh inside 
ike bowl so ike -fisk kad some exira waier +0 flo^ 
around in. 


hd carried 


Gareik grabbed ike fisk 


163 










































The fish seeded OK -for -the tif^e bei^g, dhd X 
deeded +o ^o <jei a butkei so we could +ake +he 
fish back dowh -to +he river a^d le+ i+ 30. 


Bui wheh X wehi io LEAVE, Hr. Je-f/ersoh 
walked ih+o ihe cabih. Xhe oiher <jiys slanged ihe 
ba+hroom door shui, and X iriej my be$+ +0 ^>lay 
i+ COOL 



I6i 



























































My guess was that Mr. Jefferson wouldn't be too 
happy about a fish in the toilet, and X didnt 
wanna get sent +o bed early for the Second time 
on this trip. 


Mr. Jefferson asked me where everyone ELSE was, 
41 said X thought they might be down by the 
river. He told me that if I saw anyone t X should tell 
them to come to the main lodge for mail calf 




Vfhen Mr. Jefferson left, we put the 1,id down on 
the toilet to make sure the fish didnt flop out 
onto the floor, then we headed down to the main 
lodge to join the rest of our class. 


Mrs. Gratiaho handed out mail to all the kids who 
got some 

a letter, and X IS admit X got a little choked up 
reading it. 


thing delivered from home. Mom sent me 






















Q&jaX. 

LJi mtrttJ. 

C/fAlk, Au^it USrtfJlj^ouC/XJL 
HtfuJl hornJL* HO^UL^CKC 
Awtwj' a 


<*A4, 


7 ^(jU^pQ. + AiMti-j 

PW'V 


X ^ot tii letter -from Kodlrick, too, fcut X di<Jh+ 
like MIS 4S mock as Moms, 



pear Gred, 

\ found Your Cardy 

i 1 1 * 



bars. Here, you can 
Srnel] +ke wrappers, 

■ i 



ffar, bar, nar. 




^^7 . d ^ 








L' - v - 4 







171 
















X cjei a le++er from Pad, X PIP ^e+ 

oY\t from +he PIG. X jos+ ho^?e someohe Ih my 

family wro+e i'+ as a joke^ because if +ha+ ’thfrvg 
has Somehow learhej how -fo wri+e, -+heh X doh+ 
eVeh kr\ow wha+ io Say. 


or NK 

OXHK 

OlHK 


Joliah cjo+ a le*Her from home,, +oo, Bui his mom 
made a HUGE mis+ate by sehditvj a pho+o alolrvj 

Wr+h i+. 



Ml 















Julian wash + +he ONLY one who seemed homesick. 
A couple of kids didn ? + 0e+ ahy+h>n0 a+ ftll , and 
-they a$keJ Some of uS who DID ge-t le-Hers +o 
read +t\em oo+ loud. 



I MADE A BATCH OF YOUR 
FAVORITE COOKIES AND 
PUT THEM IN THE FRIDGE 
FOR WHEN YOU GET HOME! 
LOVE, MOM. 


A Aw kids go+ tare packages wi+h fresh tlo+hes 

and S+uff like +hft+* 


^ wither in our 
Ber+rah, who 00+ a HUGE ton +h*+ was packed 
wr+h a +oh of sullies. 


0 r 0<Jj? 


was 


Grab 


am 


Bo+ +he ti 



173 










Bacjk a+ +F& cabin la+er oinj we found oui GraFa^ 
Fad mailed +fe bo* +o HIMSELF before 
+ri^ s+ar+ed, and Fe Had Fiictde^ all SORTS of 
goodies in wi+H +H« cam^in^ supplies. 

Luckily, He was wjllih^ +o SHARE. I never 
X d ea+ Pori+os oi/i of a Hiking isoot, bui by +Ha+ 
^> 0 fV%+ Xd already ojiveh my las+ sFred of dicjni+y. 



£nrlio looked ou+ +Fe w<>idow and Saw Mr. 
Jefferson coming back +o +He cabin, So we Fid 
all of GraFamS S+off under a blanket. 


VJHen Mr. Jefferson entered tHe cabin, F 
rigFt by witHout even noticing. 


e wa 



L7t 


































Uvvfor+uha+ely, we were so -focused on +he shacks 
we /or<jo+ all atou+ +fie FISH. 



X ftt I a IrFHe taj -for Mr. Je/fersoh, tu+ 1+ was 
a ^ood renihder +o me +ha+ you should ALWAYS 
t^etk ihsidt -+^e +cn'le+ fce-fore si+tihg dowh. 



Mr. Jef/ersoh was mad ahd +h<wah+ +his was some 


175 





































































AruJ of course he thought X was the <^oy who 
cane i>Y with it* 


So tohi^ht, while the rest of the ^rou^ was 
haviirvj snores avxj sihcjih^ soh^s by the campfire 
with Mrs. GraziariOj X was stuck ih the cabih 
with ah ahgry cha^erohe. 



i WskUv 

Most k<ds at cam'p were croisih^ aloh^ uhtil 

yesterday, but after those letters from hone 
cane, it seemed like eVeryohe hit a WALL. 


A lot of my classmates are homesick; ahd theyve 
beeh askiha if they tab 30 back early. But the 
chaferohes say the ohly way we cab op hone is if 
there’s some sort of MEDICAL reason. 


176 














































Vjellj they shouldnt hflVe ^>1/+ +hd+ in+o people: 
heads, because now kids are tryih^ +o ^e+ sick 

oh PURPOSE. 


real! 

lunch- X+ +urns 00+ she a+e three servings of 
s+ew +o make herself sick, which seeded a little 


strange a+ 


Melinda Henson was at+ih^ 


extreme +o ME. 



spe 

burses station wi+h indi^estionj Melinda was sent 
back +o rejoih her grou^. 


But after 


ndina a few hours down a+ +h« 


Julian +ook it one step FURTHER. Mr. 
Jefferson found him in +he cabin clutching his 
stomach next +o a half-eaten stick of deodorant. 


177 












So that was the elndi o-f the road -for Juliah, 



A -few hours later Julies mother arrived to 
him up. But by the time they drove away, h 
seemed to haVe made a full recovery. 




A lot o-f boys started talking about how Julian 
had the ri^ht idea, and the chaperones caught 
wind O-f rt. 


ITS 














































'Tta next we knew, the thaperohes *ere 
301'hg around collecting everyones deodorant so ho 
one could follow in Julians -footsteps. 



'Thats tad hews for OUR catrh, tecause With the 
wet towels and dirty clothes all over the ^lace, 
and kids showering with sweat water, our tahin 
ALREADY smells like a monkey house. 



171 





















































IV deodorant was probably the one thih^ keeping 
the Juries in our cabin fron reaching to*lc levels. 


And if we get sick i were ALL going hone early, 

X%at might be OK for everyone ELSE, but Its hot 
all right for ME, Because the sooner X 30 home, 
the sooner X have +0 face DAD, 


Saturd ay 

X> be honest wi th y ou, IW forgotten all about 
Rowley until he resumed to canp yesterday naming. 


But when he caught a whiff of our cabin, I'll te+ 
he wished he had just stayed hone. 



ISO 







































X+ +urTns ou+ Rowley go+ ah ihfec+ioh -from 
Gare+hs +oo+h, ahd +ha+s why he was gohe 
■for so lohg. Rowley trough +he +oo+h WITM 
hi™, |)o+ X n ho+ sore wha+ Gare+hs supposed +o 
Jo wi+h i+ a+ +his poih+. 



Rowley was eonihg tack a+ ah awkward +i™e, VleVe 
all beeh preparihg for +he Us+ high+ of +he +rip, 

which we have +o spehd OUTDOORS. 


X™ kihj of lookihg forward +o i+, because 
+ha+$ ONE high+ we woh+ have +o s+ay ih our 
s+ihky cabih, 

Bo+ X™ ho+ sore my group tain eveh SURVIVE 
sleepihg oo+ j'n +he eleneh+s. 


Vie re supposed +o build a shel+er ahd a fire 
+omorrow high+j ahd X have ho IDEA how were 
supposed +o pull TMAT off. 



Mr. Jefferson has been -trying teach os how to 
Jo some basic outjoors^ +hin<js, but i+ turns out 
he S ju$t about as useless as the REST of u$. 


Yesterday Re- was trying to teach us how to build 
a fife, anj he broke the no electronics rule by 
usilrvj his ^Kohe +0 look u^> how +0 Jo it. But his 
battery died when a tootle of my cabinmates <jot 
ahold of it +o watch Vi'JeoS of streaming ^goats. 



X ^uess Hr. Jefferson learned a LITTLE bit 
before the battery died, because Re ^got a fire 
cp'n^ anj told the rest of us +0 ^et Some 
kihjlihdj. hiobody knew what kinjlihg WAS, 
though, so we brought back everythin^ we 
thought mi^ht born. 








Rowley came back with what looked like a bohch of 
WEEDS ahd threw them oh the fire, but th<*t 
-to+eklly smothered rh 



Xt tufhs out the stuff Rowley put oh the fire 
was actually POISON IVY, ahd this morhihej he 
woke up covered ih spots. Mr. Jeffersoh mustve 

ihhaled the fumes ahd gotteh it ih R's LUNGS, 

because he was haVih^ trouble brea+R'h^. 



133 










































Xhe horse called Mrs, Jef/ersoh to come pick them 
both up, ahd X thihk they re dohe /or GOOD. 


Xhat meahs ry ^roup is the ohly ohe without a 
chaperohe. Xve heard Mrs. Graziaho is scramtlih^ 
+o fihd a replacemeht, hut ho dads are wilting to 
^j've up the rest of their weekehd to come out here. 


This is really tad timihg, because its supposed 
+o RAIN tomorrow hi^ht, ahd we haveht eveh 
started fcuildih^ our shelter. X tried to spy oh a 
^roup that has a tuhch of Boy Scouts ih it to see 
if X Co old pick op ahy poihters, hut those ^uys 
werervt willihg to ^iVe away their secrets. 

























VsIKil e we were off +ryih^ +o sel up our camp, some 
o+her ^roup raided our cabih. X ^uess +hty mus+ve 
heard about Graham S Shacks, because Ws $ta$h 
was totally picked cleah. 


Xhe thieVes also weht through MY ba^ ahd 
fouhd the baby wipes, which they used up ih our 
bathroom, Xhey mustve tried to -flush them dowh 
-the toilet, because how it was CLOGGED. 


Xhe worst part was that the toilet overflowed, 
ahd the water rah aloh-g the floor ih a path from 



£-Verythihd| X owhed was wet except for Grahdpas 
book/ which the thieves had tossed ohto a bed- 



























































X wds really HAD, 

+]hroucjh ^\\t X realised +he ejiys who 

raided our tdb'h rmgh+Ve <Johe us a huge FAVOR. 


whel-i X s+ar+ed flippihQ 



Ikt ook h*d * +oh o-f useless s+uAf ih rt, like <x 
ow +o make a workih^ radio ou+ o{ 
household ofcjecis. 


;ha^+er oh h 


POTATO 

RADIO 



Shortwave radio is an exciting 
new hobby Sweeping ihe 
nation! But who needs alt that 
expensive equipment when 
everything can be found in 
your very own home? 

Start by finding two paper dips, 
one foil chewing-gum wrapper, 
and a hearty potato. 

Imeri the paper clips into the 
potaio and form a "bridge" 
between them with the 
chewing-gum wrapper 


136 





































Bu+ +Ktre was a lo+ 0/ GOOD s+uff ih. +hertj +00, 
There was a chap+er oh how +0 ideh+ify poisoh ivy, 
which wouldve come ih hahdy yes+erday. There were 
thap+ers oh OTHER ou+doarsy +hih«jSj like how 
-to s+ar+ a fire wi+houi marches, which was ^rea+, 
because Mr. Jeffersoh used all of ours up. 


T touldhi wai+ +0 try otrt some of ihe +ritks ahd 
see if ihey actually WORKED. X led my ^roup 
ou+ -fa> our tampsi+e ahd asked +0 borrow £_mi!ioS 
glasses, ahd I focused a beam of Suhli^h+ -through 
a lehs oh+o a dry leaf, +he way i+ said +0 do ih 
+he b 00k, Sure ehough, the leaf s+ar+ed smokih^j 
and eveh+ually caught fire. 



w 















£.Veryohe was excised +ha+ we could make a /ire 
wt+Hocd +^e Help of ah adults bed we <jo+ a IrHle 
away wi+H +H& Hi^H fives } ahd £™1io$ 


glasses 


god erosHed ih +He telebra+ioh. 


tarried 



Appareh+y E-milpo is blihd as a bad wi+Hou+ His 
glasses, so -the resd of dHe dhp mi^Hd fee a liddle 
tKalleh^rh^ for \\in. 

































Luck fly, Jeffrey wears glasses * too, so we c<m 
nake ahother fire tomorrow. 


Viheft we ^ot hack to our eahih after defter, we 
^ot a cold splash of reality. The flooded toilet 
added to the overall had Snell i Y\ our cak’h, which 
ty now was TOTALLY oVerpowerir^. 


Vie mopped up the floor with our dirty clothes j 
the^ put them ift a couple of trash fcacjs. B>ut 
that STILL didn't do the trick. 



The WORST Snell seemed to he tomiirvj from US. 
A^d the oftly way to deal with TMAT problem was 
with deodorant. 


























Jordan said maybe we should raid ohe of +he ojirls 
cabins and s+eal some of TMElR deodorah+, bu+ 
+ha+ -turned inio a bi^ deba+e abou+ whether* ^<Hs 
actually USE deodorant. 


Birt what everyone was eyei+ed about was the idea 
of ^oih^ oh a RAID, 


The person who was HOST excited was E-milro, 
But we told h im it was +oo dangerous for him to 
^o with us since he couldht SEE* 


He said we NEEDED h rr> because he has ah 
excellent sense of smell and cou id sniff out the 
cabins. Vie weren't Sure if he was bluffh^, 
So we ran him through a smell test where he had 
+o identify a 

enoughj he 30+ every single ohe. 


bunch of different things. Ahd sure 


I L 




So £,f»n'lio was ih. Vie aII started ^et+rhg read^, 
but rkjht wheh we were about to Head out, Hr, 
\iuzzt eAne +o check oh us. 


X ^uess it was pre+iy obvious to Hr, Nluxzi that 
we were up to ho ^ood, so he 'told us wed all be 
t h BIG trouble jX he caught ary o-f us Sheajcihej 
oid. Plus, he heard Si Us Scratch was oh the prowl 
iohi^ht so wed better stay ihdoors. 


Xheh Hr. hWzi le-ft, ahd a -few nihuteS later he 
cane hack with a bottle 0/ baby powder. 

ill 













































\\z spn'hkled it in a bi*j circle around our cabin so that 
if we DID leave, our footprints would ^iVe us away. 



E-Very one started to panic because they thought 
we were trapped ih our cabin for the rest of the 
niejht. But then X remembered a chapter from my 
BOOK that could help us. 




(I HIDING 
YOUR 
NUMBERS 


Ancient ninjas had a devcr 
*vay of fool ing their enemies. 

When rravetirsg in a group, 
ninjas would walk in single file, 
careEUtly stepping into the 
same set of footprints, 

Then they'd ambush their 
pursuers, who would be 
shocked to discover 
were not following the 
of ONE person but many; 


































Mr. Muzzi tad left KiS OWN footprints In the 
tat 

So cill we heeded to do was follow in his exact 
footsteps and tad never know we left. 

Ihe only p rotten was ttat Mr, MuZZiS footprints 

any of ours. But Mr. 
Jefferson tad left his hiking toots under the ted, 
and they looked like a perfect match. 


were a lot higher than 


powder when he was spreading it around. 


X weht first- It was a little tard staying ih Mr. 
Motifs tracks, tut X made it to the other side 
of the taty powder. 









i : 



i> 1 

■ 
















































Theft X tossed the boots back to the NEXT ^uy. 


We <y>i eVeryofte out of the cabih that way. X,Veft 
tmilio, who hitched a ride with Jeffrey. 



Gftte we were all clear, we headed through the 
woods toward the girls' tabiftS. But before we 
kftew it, we were totally lost. Xt was kiftd of 
scary because ftobody eVeft kftew which way OUR 
cabih was. 









































































Tl >tt\ Jeffrey made everyth^ a huhdred times 
WORSE by brfhgtVuj up the subject of Silas 
Scratch. Jeffrey said Silas Scratch was probably 
watchiin<j our every move and was cjolnha pick us off 
ohe by ohe arid eat us alive. 



Xhat ^ot my cabihmates all stirred up, ard X 
thought they were gorha scatter ir every direction. 


But £-mi! io saved the day wheh he picked up a 
sceht ih the air. 


















He said he could Snell a girls cabin, arid it wash4 
+ha+ far off. 



Sure enough, one of the eat ins was about fifty 
feet away. We crept up as quietly as we could, 
+heh put sone of our tean-building skills into 
actjon +o get up to ah opeh window. 



Xt sounded like everyone was asleep inside. So X 
nyself 

down +o the floor Without making a sound. 



through the window and dropped 


























wheh X looked eiro^indj X realized X was it\ a 
ota *11 of GIRL SCOUTS. 


X decided ^o ciill off fKe mission +o dje+ +he 
deodorah+, to+ by i+ was already +oo la+e. 



117 






















































































































E,Very+hih^ af+er TMAT is kihd of a tlur. X 
remember tjirls yelliir^, haiads ^rabbih^ a+ my 
ahkleS, ahd my cabihma+eS o^e afto+her 

+o ^c+ oi/+ +he fron+ door". 


Theh f+ was jus+ a mad d*sh +KrouojK the woods. 



PoT+ ask me MOW, bu+ we fouind our w Ay tdtk 
+o ocrr tdbiin. Uir*for+orid+ey, we for^oi all atou+ 
+he baby powder, And we +o+ally fram^led i+. Bu+ 
+ha+ 'poiVvf p+ wos +he LEAST of our worries. 


X +hou<jh+ +he missioh was a +o+al failure, bu+ 
i+ +orriS ou+ we did^ tome tack emp+y-handed* 
Graham had swiped a bacj a+ +he tjirls eabih ahd 
troogh+ <+ wi +h h im 9 















I definitely washt comfortable with STEALING 
and said that ohe of us deeded +o sneak the ba^ 
tack to the ejirls cabin before anyohe hotpced it 
was mrSSphc}* 


But X 30+ outvoted oh that idea because everyone 
else was curious +0 see what was inside* 



The do+hes in the bag didht look like the 
belonged to any ^irls OUR a<je. 






































Bu+ +he +i"rne we /inured ou+ who +he ba<j 
actually BELONGED +0, +he owner was s+ahding 
in our doorway. 



X +hou^,h+ Mrs. Gra^iano /ound us because o-f 'the 
baby powder, tui f+ +urns ou+ i+ was eveh easier 
{or her -than THAT, As soon as she opened her 
cabin door, she found ^C-milio s+umblin^ around ih 
+he dark. VJh ich Jus+ ^oes +o show, you should 
never leave a nan behind. 



zoo 




























































































Mrs. Graz-irtho chewed os otA for our * i'mm+ure 
shehahitjdhs. She said we couldhi be +rus+ed oh 
our owh for -the hi^h+j So she was ^ohha ^ oh 



J L ■ 

hi - jmoc^jhe w 
all the wcy oot +o this place ih the middle of the 

hp<jh+j but X khew that WHOEVER A was, he 
washt ^ohhi* be HAPPY about it. 




Ahd A Burris out X was ri^h+- 



Z01 



































































Sund ay 

X really wish Mrs. Gr^oiho had jos+ sehi ne 
HOME ihs+ead of callihej Pad +o chaperohe us 
for +he !as+ day. Pad was already mi ENOUGH 
abou+ +he CAR, aind how he had +o babysi+ a 
buhch of uhshowered rni ii\* schoolers. 


A^d i+ washt fuh breakih^ -the hews +o +ha+ 
we Wh+ evem have a workihej ba+hroo^ j ih our cabih. 



X figured X owed i+ +o Pad +o a+ leasi ^ive him 

a basic ruhdowh of ihe tamp, bui he seeded +o 
already khow 
Somehow he eVeh khew about the STEW, because 
wheh somebody put a servihg oh his plate, he 
scraped it right back ihto the pot. 


everything X 'tried to tell Kin. 


Z02 




















A+ frs+ X +hou-^h+ Pad nus+Ve teen a 

wheh RODRlCK wefvt +o +Rs placej fcu+ wheh X 

saw qY\z of -the o+her thaperohes -gree+ Pad, X 
po+ i+ all io^c+Ker*. 


:hAperohe 



Pad we hi io H*rdstrabtle farms wheh he was 

MY ddjt.- 


islo WONDER he wash-t happy +o fce here. Xf 
his experience was Ahy+hih<^ like MINE, X^ 
Sure he never imagined ih a million years ihai 

he'd fee BACK. 


Me ahd ny cakihma+es spehi -the day -iryih^ +o 
se+ up our camp for +he oVerhigh'K Ahd <i was 
pre+iy dear Pad had ho ihiehiioh of helping ou+. 


203 






Half the tir^e he was off somewhere else doin<^ who 
knows what, A^d when he WAS around, he didnt 
lift a finder. 



So we set up our shelter without tvn>. Luckily, 
Grandpas took had a chapter on how to tuild a 
waterproof lean-to, so we didnt NEED Pads help. 



ZOt 




































A+ dihher some kids from aho+Her ^roup seemed 
really shaken up. THey said +Hfcy were <ja+herivvcj 
■firewood cmj came across ah old $l\ack +ka+ +key 
were sore beloved +o Silas Scra+ck. 



Tkis <s wkere I was kopfh^ pad would +e!l everyone 
Silas Scra+tk was jus+ a made-op s+ory +o keep kids 

from leaving +keir cabihs a+ hiojk+* Bu+ he DIDN'T. 


H|e said +Ka-j" wKeh ME weh+ +o H dr dscramble Farms t 

a couple of 

skack arid were v\ever keard from AGAIN. 


kids wer,+ pokift^ around Silas Scra+cks 





















That was the WORST thih^ Pad could Ve said 

> s+ 

ih the woods* 


before we were supposed to spehd the hi^ht 


Af+tr dihher, Hrs* Gratidho 4 -old everyone to ^et 
whatever they deeded from their eabihs arid brihtj 
4 +o their campsites. 





A bohch of kids were be^ihO} to sleep INSIDE, 
but Mrs. Graiiaino said this '£ how its always beeh 
oh the last hi^jht at Hardscrabble Farms, ahd its 
ilways ^ohha be* 


Vie had ^otteh the fire started earlier, ahd wheh 
we .got to our campsite it was still ^oihg. The fire 
was dyih^ dowh, though, so we heeded to <get 
more wood to feed it* But ohce it ^ot DARK out, 
the ^oys ih my ^roup were too scared to leave the 
fire to help me collect sticks. 


zo6 





X would've asked DAD for help, bu+ who KNOWS 
where he was. 




So I wefti +o look for firewood by myself. The 
area around our camp.*. *v ( ^ i , 

of s+itks, so X had +o ^o deeper ift+o +he woods. 
Bo+ X 30+ all -turned arouhd, ahd X coo i<K+ 
remember which way our tampsi+e was. 


ZO? 

























I s+ar+ed +o 'panic a IrHle, tcrf +ken X saw a 
l^ki +ka+ X +kcw^k+ mus+ fce our campfire. X 
keaded toward ii, and when X 30+ closer, X 

was tomino from. 




X kaVe +0 admH 1 , X didn^ really fcuy any of +ke 
Silas Stra+ck stuff until +k*$ moment. B ut now X 
tkou^kt X mitjkt actually die of FEAR. 


Sometking afcou+ tkat li^k+ didm + look ri 3K+, 
tkou^k. X tkoogkt it was coming from a fireplace 
inside tke skack, fcut it was actually from a 
LIGHTBULB. X+ didnt make a lot of sense 
+0 me tkat a craty farmer wko eats slugs and 

fcerr.es W ELECTRICITY. 


10$ 















door on +he fronf of +he place was tarred 
s^u+. So X walked arouhd +he back, a hd +here 
w<IS a me+al door +h<*+ was unlocked* 


X Kelt! ry trea+h and poshed i+ open, +hen X 
s+epped inside. My heart was practically beating 
oo+ of ry chest, tot 1 MAD to know what was 
in there. 


Vlhen X Saw what was inside > X realize d this 
place wasnt a shack at ALL, X+ was Some Soft of 
maintenance shed with a tench of fools, and they 
drdnt even look that OLD. 



101 























I weh+ a IrHle farther ih. VJheh X walked dowh 
a h^lwdy, X fou^d some^hih^ +ha+ REALLY 
sKockcJ m£. 


x+ WAS d BATHROOM J W.+h A +0(le+ A'ryi A Sl>X 
a^d EVERYTHING. There were eveh a few rolls 


of ex+ra +oj'!e+ ipa^er, and i+ wash+ +He CHEAP 
s-ftifT ei+her* 



head was s^rinWh-g d*V +ha+ ^oiri+, X was 
ready io fu'n tack io our tampsi+e av>d -fell 
everyone wha+ Xd fcwhdj wHeh X heard 
So meihiirvj +ha+ seri+ shivers dowh my s^ihe. 


X^ was the soohd of WHISTLING , ahd <+ wdS 
comir^ from ngh+ BEHIND me. 


ZiO 





































X +0 ruin, arid +ha+s wheh X rah snack 

Ih+o DAD. 



X was +o+diy speechless. X tooldhi ohders+ahd 

w ha+ he was doihg taking a shower ih a 
maih+ehahce shejj 1)0+ “thieri he s+ar+ed -talking. 


Pad said when HE went +0 Hardscrabble Xarns , 
the bathroom situation was even WORSE +Un ft 
is how. 



211 




























"There was ohly ohe ou+house, which eVeryohe a+ 
+he ceurrp shared. 



"There was ho shower, ahd if you wah+ed +o ^e+ 
tleah, you had "to 30 dowh io -the river wi+h a bar 
of SO ap. 


"Theh one day wheh Pad was tollet+ih^ firewoods 
he found -+hi 5 maih+enahte shed that was used for 
keeping up the property during the off-season. 



Vlheh he realised there was a -tolled and a shower 
inside, he knew he had +0 keep it a secret or 

everyone: would fhd out. 























So He cane up wi+H +He s+ory of Silas Scra+ch +o 
■throw +He o+Her kids off +He trail. 



Pad said when He 30+ Here yesterday, He 
was pre-Hy surprised the Silas Scratch +Hin^ 


was s+pII OjOihOj after all these years. But He 
floured Hed just tjo wi+H 1+ so He could keep +h 
ba+Hroor-i +0 Himself, 


e 


X was pretty r>ad a-t Pad for causing everyone 
all "this stress. But X Have +0 admit that coning 
up wi+H a crazy story +0 protect a secret 
bathroom is EXACTLY the kind of thinfj Xd 
do MYSELF. 


X realised Xd been away from the campsite for a 
while and my cabihma+es probably thought X got 
snatched up by Silas Scratch- 


Z13 




So X asked Pad +o help me find my way tack to 
the campsite. 


It Had started to rain, and by the tine we ^ot 
back, -\\\e fire was completely OUT. X ^uess my 
c^roup ^ot desperate and threw in anything that 
would burn, because X found my BOOK in there. 
Or at least what was left of it. 



My cabinmates had picked apart our shelter for 
firewood, and thats where me and Pad found 
the m, all huddled together. 























X really didr\+ wflhna s^>ehd +ke ni^kt ou+ ih +ke 
nai'hj dhd +kahkfully Pad didri+, EITHER. 


X ^uess ke waSh + +Q0 toheerinied a|>Ou+ +ke camp 
rules t because ke s^uck us all tack in+o our cabih. 
X+ mi^k+ve s+uv^k +o ki^k keavein ih +kertj fcu+ r+ 
was +ke bes+ hi<jk+ of slee^> Xve kad ih my life. 



MohtUy 

Xk>s morhiin^ we packed all our s+uff ahd 
fcrou^k+ i+ +o +ke ^>arkiiruj lo+. 

Al^os+ everyohe ih my class looked like a WRECK 
from slee^ivuj ou+ ih +ke woods oVerhi^k+j W MY 
^roup ac+oally looked REFRESHED. 


ns 





































































My tabilnma+es kep+ sayihtj How LUCKY we were +o 
Have survived +He week wi+H Silas Scra+tH prowlihg 
arouhd* Ahd i+ was all X could do +o bi+e my 'torque. 



Believe me, X was +emp+ed +o +ell every ohe +Ha+ 
Silas Stra+cH was a Hoa*. People mitjH+ve eVeh 
+reaied me like a WERQ for fihally po++ih^ ah 
ehd +o +He whole +Hihg, 


Bu+ X fpuffed X mi<jH"t <je+ s+uck cHaperohih^ a+ 
+His place ohe day, ahd if X do X II wahha use 

+Ha+ ba+Hroom IMYSELF. 



216 






























X was about load my bag onto +h« bus, but 

+Keh Pad told me X could ride horne wi+h Wifi. 
That was WAY better than sitting in someone's 
lap, So X took Pad u^> oft his offer. 



On the way out, there was a bus coming in with 
a whole hew croj> of kids- X quickly scribbled a 
message to warn them about what they were in 
for. X figured it was the LEAST X could do. 





217 


































ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 

Thanks to my amazing family for cheering me on and for bringing so 
much joy to my life. 

Thinks to Charlie Kochman fer your dogged commitment to making 
sure every Wimpy Kid book is all that it can be. Thanks to the 
team at Abrams, including Michael Jacobs, Jason Wells, Veronica 
Washerman, Susan Van Metre, Jen Graham, KeriLee Noran, Chad W, 
Beckerman, Alison Gervais, Elisa Garcia, Erica La Sala, arid Kim Ku. 

Thanks to Shaelyn Germain and Anna Cesary for helping to create 
an amazing building from the ground up in the midst of all of our 
commitments. Thanks to Deb Sundin and the staff at An Unlikely 
Story fer bringing a great independent bookstore into the wofI d- 

Thanks to Rich Carr and Andrea Lucey for your unbelievable 
support throughout the years. Thanks to Paul Sen nett and Ike 
Williams for your invaluable advice- 


Thanks to Jess Bralber for being a friend and mentor to me fer 
the past fifteen years. Thanks to everyone at Poptropica for your 
support and inspiration. 

Thanks to Sylvie Rabineau for your continued guidance and 
friendship. Thanks to Keith Fleer for all of your help. Thanks to 
everyOriE in Ffellywgod who is working to bring new Wimpy Kid 
stories to life, including !S!ing Jacobson. Brad Simpson, Elizabeth 
Gebler, Poland Poindexter, Ralph Milero. and Vanessa Morrison. 


ABOUT THE AUTHOR 

Jeff Kinney is a fl l New York Trines bestselling author and a ffve-time 
Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Award winner for Favorite Book. Jeff has 
been named one of Time magazine’s 10O Mott Influential People in 
the World. He is also the creator of Poptrop-ica. which was named 
one of TjVne magazine's gO Best Websites. He spent his childhood in 
the Washington, D.C.i area and moved to New England in IQP5- Jeff 
lives with his wife and two sons in Massachusetts, where they own 
a bookstore, An Unlikely Story. 




With tension building inside and outside the HefFley home 
Greg find 3 way to survive? Or is going "eld school ' 1 just too 
for a kid like Greg? 


Life was better in the ■ 
days. Or was it? 

That's the question Greg 
HeffEey is asking as his town 
voluntarily unplugs end goes 
electronics-free- But modern 
life has its conveniences 
and Greg isn't cut out for an 
old-fashioned world, 


READERS LOVE THE DIARY 0 FA WIMPY KID SERIES- 
the USA Today, Publishers WeeJcfy, Waff Street Journal 
and * l New VorJf Times bestseller 




• n the publishing wof.- ' 
Kinney is a rock star," 

-NPRs "Backseat Book Club" 
Kid is 


-Time mag***® 


1 


"One of the most successful 
childrens series ever published.' 

-Washtrillion Post 


"A big hit wuh reluctant readers 
and anyone looking For a funny book," 

-School library Journal 


S Amulet Books 

Aci imprint of ABRAMS 
3^ W*ttT&41i5fer**L 
N^wVorkWTr VMll 

{fcihrunikidf 


www.wlmpykW.cwn 

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